My child has spent her first week in her new kindie. Everything went well except me, losing my sleep since the second day. I felt extremely relaxed on the first day, but fatique and pressure started to crawl in since the second day. Owing to the differences in the curriculum between the 2 schools, I have to help her catch up with her English, whereas she's way ahead in her Chinese and Maths. I'm not worried that she can't catch up, but I've realized I'm sort of a perfectionist, pushing her very hard. She's only in K2. I have another 14 years to worry ahead of me, and it's very tiring. I'm telling myself to calm down, it's my own worrying nature which I'm concerned. Any other fretting mom?
Nervous Mom
- Thread starter Valencia
- Start date
I went in stages. In Kindie I was a bit anxious (although I didn't lose sleep) and was worried if they would ever learn to read.
Now that the kids are in primary school, I don't really care too much. The older one is doing very well (just needs a bit of reminding to do her homework). The younger one's academics are OK, but sometimes has behavior issues, so that's my main concern and at this point it seems that the only thing that will cure it is time.
If you are worried that you are worrying too much. maybe you should really ask yourself "What am I worrying about?".
Are you worried that if she doesn't get into the Band 1 school of your choice she will never learn to read ot write or do arithmetic and will become an illiterate dish washer for the rest of her life? If so, don't worry, it's highly unlikely.
Or, do you worry that if she doesn't get into the band 1 Primary School of your choice she will never get to go to HKU and become a high ranking civil servant/doctor/lawyer/architect?
I would recommend that you try to relax your perfectionism in regard to your daughter's education. Vent that perfectionism on something physical and attainable like knitting.
Instead,try to focus on who your daughter is - what are her talents and interests and joys.
There's a child rearing book that I like a lot by Wendy Mogel. It's called "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee" and she writes about the issues of parents high expectations and pressure on kids and how to change that to focusing on helping kids grow into the people they can be.
She writes from a Jewish perspective, but I think many of her insights and points can apply to parents from all backgrounds.
Her web site is here:
http://www.wendymogel.com/
Here is a an article she wrote on "Overcoming a Fear of the Ordinary"
http://www.wendymogel.com/ordinary.html
!2 myths about raising self reliant children
http://www.wendymogel.com/childrenmyths.html
Good luck!
Now that the kids are in primary school, I don't really care too much. The older one is doing very well (just needs a bit of reminding to do her homework). The younger one's academics are OK, but sometimes has behavior issues, so that's my main concern and at this point it seems that the only thing that will cure it is time.
If you are worried that you are worrying too much. maybe you should really ask yourself "What am I worrying about?".
Are you worried that if she doesn't get into the Band 1 school of your choice she will never learn to read ot write or do arithmetic and will become an illiterate dish washer for the rest of her life? If so, don't worry, it's highly unlikely.
Or, do you worry that if she doesn't get into the band 1 Primary School of your choice she will never get to go to HKU and become a high ranking civil servant/doctor/lawyer/architect?
I would recommend that you try to relax your perfectionism in regard to your daughter's education. Vent that perfectionism on something physical and attainable like knitting.
Instead,try to focus on who your daughter is - what are her talents and interests and joys.
There's a child rearing book that I like a lot by Wendy Mogel. It's called "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee" and she writes about the issues of parents high expectations and pressure on kids and how to change that to focusing on helping kids grow into the people they can be.
She writes from a Jewish perspective, but I think many of her insights and points can apply to parents from all backgrounds.
Her web site is here:
http://www.wendymogel.com/
Here is a an article she wrote on "Overcoming a Fear of the Ordinary"
http://www.wendymogel.com/ordinary.html
!2 myths about raising self reliant children
http://www.wendymogel.com/childrenmyths.html
Good luck!
Thank you very much, Loupou.
When she was in K1, she did poorly and only began to improve in her last term exam. I had to help her revise her homework every day and she could barely write. Since K2, she has been doing very well, showing great improvements in every exam. Her change to full day school gave me a chance to relax for the first time since her birth.
Now she has changed to a band one kindie with its own primary school, and I should have nothing to worry. But it's a half day kindie, and I have to help her with her homework. Unlike K1, where she was doing poorly and the pressure came from the school. Now the pressure comes from me within. I don't want her to be behind the others since she's new. I am fretting over the vocabulary and phrases and lower letter case being covered in the first term in her new school. But then I realize when I have covered all this, I would try to push her with other things. When I'm thinking about this I feel really tired. The race is endless. The next time she changes primary school I have to help her catch up. By then it would be simply too much for me compared to kindie stuff. I'm afraid of losing sleep and feeling tired during the day. This perfectionist character is killing me. Maybe one day I'll grow sick of it and try to enjoy playing with my daughter instead of pushing her homework all day.
The problem is, I know she can do it, and she's doing fine, but I just can't help worrying. I'm worried of losing sleep and feeling tired. I'm worried I'll lose all the fun watching her grow up while focusing on her academics, as most HK moms do. If they do poorly, you want improvement. If they do well, you always want more.
When she was in K1, she did poorly and only began to improve in her last term exam. I had to help her revise her homework every day and she could barely write. Since K2, she has been doing very well, showing great improvements in every exam. Her change to full day school gave me a chance to relax for the first time since her birth.
Now she has changed to a band one kindie with its own primary school, and I should have nothing to worry. But it's a half day kindie, and I have to help her with her homework. Unlike K1, where she was doing poorly and the pressure came from the school. Now the pressure comes from me within. I don't want her to be behind the others since she's new. I am fretting over the vocabulary and phrases and lower letter case being covered in the first term in her new school. But then I realize when I have covered all this, I would try to push her with other things. When I'm thinking about this I feel really tired. The race is endless. The next time she changes primary school I have to help her catch up. By then it would be simply too much for me compared to kindie stuff. I'm afraid of losing sleep and feeling tired during the day. This perfectionist character is killing me. Maybe one day I'll grow sick of it and try to enjoy playing with my daughter instead of pushing her homework all day.
The problem is, I know she can do it, and she's doing fine, but I just can't help worrying. I'm worried of losing sleep and feeling tired. I'm worried I'll lose all the fun watching her grow up while focusing on her academics, as most HK moms do. If they do poorly, you want improvement. If they do well, you always want more.
Hi Valencia,
You do really sound worried and unhappy, maybe beyond what is normal, if you are already losing sleep and feeling tired. Have you thought about speaking to a counselor. St. John's has non-denominational multi-lingual counselling <http://www.stjohnscathedral.org.hk/counselling.htm> that might be able to offer you some help.
I guess what I try to do is not see life or schooling as a race, or a competition to see who can accumulate the most toys or status points.
Maybe you can try to think of it as a journey to a destination that you are not sure of. Part of the task of the journey is to find out where you want to go and how best to get there; and the other task is to try and enjoy and appreciate where you are as you go along.
So, watching your daughter grow, maybe try to start putting your energies into seeing who she is. Who is this little person who has entered your life? What is she like, what does she enjoy? What are her strengths and weaknesses? And when thinking about her strengths and weaknesses, don't just consider academics, think about her as whole person.
Is she friendly and outgoing, but a bit disobedient? Or, is she a bit shy and retiring, but always listens to you and other people? Does she like to play make-believe with dolls and other toys, or does she like to build legos and draw complicated machines?
Is she responsible and work hard to help other people and notice their emotional states? Or is she more inner focussed? Is she very athletic and determined? Does she like to sing and make up dances for you?
Success and happiness in life comes from within. If you can help her learn to know herself, and find out her interests and talents and help her to develop them, then she will be able to find good work to do in the world and do it well.
Sorry for the long babble online. I really recommend the Wendy Mogel book. It has helped me a lot in raising my kids (now 7 & 9).
You do really sound worried and unhappy, maybe beyond what is normal, if you are already losing sleep and feeling tired. Have you thought about speaking to a counselor. St. John's has non-denominational multi-lingual counselling <http://www.stjohnscathedral.org.hk/counselling.htm> that might be able to offer you some help.
I guess what I try to do is not see life or schooling as a race, or a competition to see who can accumulate the most toys or status points.
Maybe you can try to think of it as a journey to a destination that you are not sure of. Part of the task of the journey is to find out where you want to go and how best to get there; and the other task is to try and enjoy and appreciate where you are as you go along.
So, watching your daughter grow, maybe try to start putting your energies into seeing who she is. Who is this little person who has entered your life? What is she like, what does she enjoy? What are her strengths and weaknesses? And when thinking about her strengths and weaknesses, don't just consider academics, think about her as whole person.
Is she friendly and outgoing, but a bit disobedient? Or, is she a bit shy and retiring, but always listens to you and other people? Does she like to play make-believe with dolls and other toys, or does she like to build legos and draw complicated machines?
Is she responsible and work hard to help other people and notice their emotional states? Or is she more inner focussed? Is she very athletic and determined? Does she like to sing and make up dances for you?
Success and happiness in life comes from within. If you can help her learn to know herself, and find out her interests and talents and help her to develop them, then she will be able to find good work to do in the world and do it well.
Sorry for the long babble online. I really recommend the Wendy Mogel book. It has helped me a lot in raising my kids (now 7 & 9).
Thank you very much again, Loupou.
I hope my worrying is just a passing stage since it's only the second week at her new school. This is what I've done, teaching her the English text books for 1st and 2nd term, pushing her with writing, which is the only way to stop my worries. I feel better now, having covered much in just one day. She likes reading her textbooks which comes with a CD, but hates writing.
I used to be a private tutor for many years. I used to worry a lot for my students during exam time. I thought I would worry less with my own child, at least with her studies, but it turns out I have even higher expectations of her. I was trying to teach her as much as I can during kindergarten, since I'm afraid I and she won't have any time left in primary school, since it will be full time then. My friend told me her sons didn't have any time to play during the week after school.
I don't think I need counselling yet. I think I know the answer. I feel less worried now, but I'm still working very hard to push her, something I got used to since she was in K1. My belief is " better work hard than worry later", but I do realize pushing too hard will have a negative effect: she'll get sick of studying by P.3. I'm trying to persuade myself to stop every now and then to enjoy my time with her.
Thank you for your really useful advice, which helps keep my sanity. I believe you're a really successful mom. My child is really cheerful and humourous. A simple joke can keep her laughing all day. I do realize my worrying has become excessive, and I'm trying to play with her more than push her to read and write all day.
Valencia
I hope my worrying is just a passing stage since it's only the second week at her new school. This is what I've done, teaching her the English text books for 1st and 2nd term, pushing her with writing, which is the only way to stop my worries. I feel better now, having covered much in just one day. She likes reading her textbooks which comes with a CD, but hates writing.
I used to be a private tutor for many years. I used to worry a lot for my students during exam time. I thought I would worry less with my own child, at least with her studies, but it turns out I have even higher expectations of her. I was trying to teach her as much as I can during kindergarten, since I'm afraid I and she won't have any time left in primary school, since it will be full time then. My friend told me her sons didn't have any time to play during the week after school.
I don't think I need counselling yet. I think I know the answer. I feel less worried now, but I'm still working very hard to push her, something I got used to since she was in K1. My belief is " better work hard than worry later", but I do realize pushing too hard will have a negative effect: she'll get sick of studying by P.3. I'm trying to persuade myself to stop every now and then to enjoy my time with her.
Thank you for your really useful advice, which helps keep my sanity. I believe you're a really successful mom. My child is really cheerful and humourous. A simple joke can keep her laughing all day. I do realize my worrying has become excessive, and I'm trying to play with her more than push her to read and write all day.
Valencia
lynn cheung
Registered User
Thanks for your long explanation, Loupou.
My son's only 28 months, and I've heard abt the stress & competition in Hong Kong. I have to remind myself every day that the important thing is to help my son enjoying himself and fulfill his potential. So far, we've done a good job. He's a happy child, he even loves to make us laugh with his comments or actions.
But I cannot help myself worrying abt life in kindie and beyond. I don't like the school system that the students have to go to school from morning till 3p or 4p, then still have to do a lot of homework. They seem don't have time to play and rest.
We can't afford international school, so we will have to send our son to gov't school. But I really don't want this kind of life for my son. Do you have any insight abt this? Really appreciate it.
My son's only 28 months, and I've heard abt the stress & competition in Hong Kong. I have to remind myself every day that the important thing is to help my son enjoying himself and fulfill his potential. So far, we've done a good job. He's a happy child, he even loves to make us laugh with his comments or actions.
But I cannot help myself worrying abt life in kindie and beyond. I don't like the school system that the students have to go to school from morning till 3p or 4p, then still have to do a lot of homework. They seem don't have time to play and rest.
We can't afford international school, so we will have to send our son to gov't school. But I really don't want this kind of life for my son. Do you have any insight abt this? Really appreciate it.
Hi Lynn,
It's a really difficult situation. I sent my older child to a Band 1 Govt. school for P1 and P2. We were lucky to get her in there, and the headmistress was really wonderful. Compared to many schools it was not too bad. But, the system was still difficult ( weekly dictations in English and Chinese) and her homework left her with little time for free play. Even worse, it began to cause friction between DH and DD, because she was not as organized as he thought she should be, and he was the" homework parent". So, we switched to an ESF school.
I had a friend whose daughter also attended this school and was also having problems with the pressure and homework. She solved it by looking around for a local school that was not so high pressure. She found one, and her daughter is much happier now.
I have a neighbor who moved her kids to the GT School <http://www.gtschool.edu.hk/> in Tseung Kwan O. GT does have school fees (It's DSS) , but they are not as high as many international schools.
One of my colleagues sends her daughter to Logos <http://www.logosacademy.edu.hk/>. It's also DSS and my son did not get accepted, but you might have better luck.
There's also a new school in Diamond Hill, also DSS, but relatively cheap. It emphasizes music. It's called "The Hong Kong Insternational Institue of Music" http://www.hkiim.edu.hk./. This was where we were going to send our younger child if he had not gotten into the ESF school.
So, I think that if you worry about pressure and unhappiness, try and look around for alternative schools and see what you can find. I have heard that some schools with smaller enrollments (less "famous") might be more open.
If you can read Chinese, you can also look through these school profiles and see what looks appealing.
http://embhsc.hkedcity.net/primary/
Another DSS (if you don't mind English medium) is PLK Camoes Tan Siu Lin Primary http://www.plkctslps.edu.hk/dss.htm. A friend recommended it to me, her kids were very happy there. But, I was too late with the applications.
Try to visit different schools, and see the atmosphere.
Good luck!
It's a really difficult situation. I sent my older child to a Band 1 Govt. school for P1 and P2. We were lucky to get her in there, and the headmistress was really wonderful. Compared to many schools it was not too bad. But, the system was still difficult ( weekly dictations in English and Chinese) and her homework left her with little time for free play. Even worse, it began to cause friction between DH and DD, because she was not as organized as he thought she should be, and he was the" homework parent". So, we switched to an ESF school.
I had a friend whose daughter also attended this school and was also having problems with the pressure and homework. She solved it by looking around for a local school that was not so high pressure. She found one, and her daughter is much happier now.
I have a neighbor who moved her kids to the GT School <http://www.gtschool.edu.hk/> in Tseung Kwan O. GT does have school fees (It's DSS) , but they are not as high as many international schools.
One of my colleagues sends her daughter to Logos <http://www.logosacademy.edu.hk/>. It's also DSS and my son did not get accepted, but you might have better luck.
There's also a new school in Diamond Hill, also DSS, but relatively cheap. It emphasizes music. It's called "The Hong Kong Insternational Institue of Music" http://www.hkiim.edu.hk./. This was where we were going to send our younger child if he had not gotten into the ESF school.
So, I think that if you worry about pressure and unhappiness, try and look around for alternative schools and see what you can find. I have heard that some schools with smaller enrollments (less "famous") might be more open.
If you can read Chinese, you can also look through these school profiles and see what looks appealing.
http://embhsc.hkedcity.net/primary/
Another DSS (if you don't mind English medium) is PLK Camoes Tan Siu Lin Primary http://www.plkctslps.edu.hk/dss.htm. A friend recommended it to me, her kids were very happy there. But, I was too late with the applications.
Try to visit different schools, and see the atmosphere.
Good luck!
lynn cheung
Registered User
Thanks, Loupou.
I'll try to look around. I don't mind English medium school, as my son can only speak English and Mandarin. But some school just to far and some can't be reached by public transportation, and I don't want to send my son in the school bus at a very young age.
I'll just have to look harder then. Thanks again.
I'll try to look around. I don't mind English medium school, as my son can only speak English and Mandarin. But some school just to far and some can't be reached by public transportation, and I don't want to send my son in the school bus at a very young age.
I'll just have to look harder then. Thanks again.
Hi, Lynn, LouPou, Valencia
I'm competely agree with your opinion against too much homework system in HongKong school.
I'm searching primary schools for my son from this point.
I also don't want to send my children to these local schools. I heard St.Paul co-ed school is very good school as academicaly, but my friend's son is doing homework until 1am midnight. Too much homework is just wasting time, I think, Is it really effective way for some children whom parents are keen to on some schools like Band 1?
I found Po Leung Kok Tan Siu Lin primary school which is located in Yau Ma Tei, have you heard any kids go there from HongKong Island side?
Histamin
I'm competely agree with your opinion against too much homework system in HongKong school.
I'm searching primary schools for my son from this point.
I also don't want to send my children to these local schools. I heard St.Paul co-ed school is very good school as academicaly, but my friend's son is doing homework until 1am midnight. Too much homework is just wasting time, I think, Is it really effective way for some children whom parents are keen to on some schools like Band 1?
I found Po Leung Kok Tan Siu Lin primary school which is located in Yau Ma Tei, have you heard any kids go there from HongKong Island side?
Histamin
carang
Registered User
~Come, Play With Me!~
I Tried to teach my child with book,
He gave me only puzzled looks,
I tried to teach my child with words.
They passed him, by often unheard.
Despairingly I turned aside.
"How can I teach this child?” I cried.
Into my hands he put the key,
"Come" he said, play with me!"
~Author Unknown~
I Tried to teach my child with book,
He gave me only puzzled looks,
I tried to teach my child with words.
They passed him, by often unheard.
Despairingly I turned aside.
"How can I teach this child?” I cried.
Into my hands he put the key,
"Come" he said, play with me!"
~Author Unknown~
carang
Registered User
~Just Playing~
When I'm building in the block room, please don't say I'm "just playing".
For you see, I'm learning as I play, about balance and shapes.
Who knows, I may be an architect someday.
When I'm getting all dressed up, setting the table, caring for the babies,
don't get the idea I'm "just playing". For you see, I'm learning as I play;
I may be a mother or a father someday.
When you see me up to my elbows in paint or standing at an easel, or moulding
and shaping clay, please don't let me hear you say, "He is just playing.?
For you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm expressing myself and being creative.
I may be an artist or an inventor someday.
When you see me sitting in a chair "reading" to an imaginary audience,
Please don't laugh and think I'm "just playing".
For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a teacher someday.
When you see me combing the bushes for bugs, or packing my pockets with choice
things I find, don't pass it off as "just playing." For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a scientist someday.
When you see me engrossed in a puzzle or some "plaything" at my school,
please don't feel the time is wasted in "play". For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to solve problems and to concentrate.
I may be in business someday.
When you see me cooking or tasting foods, please don't think that because I enjoy it, it is "just playing." I'm learning to follow directions and see differences.
I may be a cook someday.
When you see me learning to skip, hop, run and move my body, please don't say I'm "just playing". For you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm learning how my body works.
I may be a doctor, nurse or athlete someday.
When you ask me what I've done at school today, and I say, "I just played,?
please don't misunderstand me. For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to enjoy and be successful in my work. I'm preparing for tomorrow.
Today, I am a child and my work is play.
by Anita Wadley
When I'm building in the block room, please don't say I'm "just playing".
For you see, I'm learning as I play, about balance and shapes.
Who knows, I may be an architect someday.
When I'm getting all dressed up, setting the table, caring for the babies,
don't get the idea I'm "just playing". For you see, I'm learning as I play;
I may be a mother or a father someday.
When you see me up to my elbows in paint or standing at an easel, or moulding
and shaping clay, please don't let me hear you say, "He is just playing.?
For you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm expressing myself and being creative.
I may be an artist or an inventor someday.
When you see me sitting in a chair "reading" to an imaginary audience,
Please don't laugh and think I'm "just playing".
For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a teacher someday.
When you see me combing the bushes for bugs, or packing my pockets with choice
things I find, don't pass it off as "just playing." For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a scientist someday.
When you see me engrossed in a puzzle or some "plaything" at my school,
please don't feel the time is wasted in "play". For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to solve problems and to concentrate.
I may be in business someday.
When you see me cooking or tasting foods, please don't think that because I enjoy it, it is "just playing." I'm learning to follow directions and see differences.
I may be a cook someday.
When you see me learning to skip, hop, run and move my body, please don't say I'm "just playing". For you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm learning how my body works.
I may be a doctor, nurse or athlete someday.
When you ask me what I've done at school today, and I say, "I just played,?
please don't misunderstand me. For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to enjoy and be successful in my work. I'm preparing for tomorrow.
Today, I am a child and my work is play.
by Anita Wadley
Hi Carang,
The poem you posted made me think of this poem that my beloved stp-dad sent to me when I started university. It's also about education and learning, but more abstract:
***********
Warning to Children
Children, if you dare to think
Of the greatness, rareness, muchness
Fewness of this precious only
Endless world in which you say
You live, you think of things like this:
Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
Red and green, enclosing tawny
Yellow nets, enclosing white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where a neat brown paper parcel
Tempts you to untie the string.
In the parcel a small island,
On the island a large tree,
On the tree a husky fruit.
Strip the husk and pare the rind off:
In the kernel you will see
Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
Red and green, enclosed by tawny
Yellow nets, enclosed by white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where the same brown paper parcel -
Children, leave the string alone!
For who dares undo the parcel
Finds himself at once inside it,
On the island, in the fruit,
Blocks of slate about his head,
Finds himself enclosed by dappled
Green and red, enclosed by yellow
Tawny nets, enclosed by black
And white acres of dominoes,
With the same brown paper parcel
Still untied upon his knee.
And, if he then should dare to think
Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
Greatness of this endless only
Precious world in which he says
he lives - he then unties the string.
-- Robert Graves
The poem you posted made me think of this poem that my beloved stp-dad sent to me when I started university. It's also about education and learning, but more abstract:
***********
Warning to Children
Children, if you dare to think
Of the greatness, rareness, muchness
Fewness of this precious only
Endless world in which you say
You live, you think of things like this:
Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
Red and green, enclosing tawny
Yellow nets, enclosing white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where a neat brown paper parcel
Tempts you to untie the string.
In the parcel a small island,
On the island a large tree,
On the tree a husky fruit.
Strip the husk and pare the rind off:
In the kernel you will see
Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
Red and green, enclosed by tawny
Yellow nets, enclosed by white
And black acres of dominoes,
Where the same brown paper parcel -
Children, leave the string alone!
For who dares undo the parcel
Finds himself at once inside it,
On the island, in the fruit,
Blocks of slate about his head,
Finds himself enclosed by dappled
Green and red, enclosed by yellow
Tawny nets, enclosed by black
And white acres of dominoes,
With the same brown paper parcel
Still untied upon his knee.
And, if he then should dare to think
Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
Greatness of this endless only
Precious world in which he says
he lives - he then unties the string.
-- Robert Graves
Carang and Loupou, thanks for your poems. The one "Come, Play With Me!~ " best illustrates the situation of my child, or any other child. Whenever I try to revise her books with her, she'll say "I'm not in the mood", then she'll suggest playing a game with her. As for Robert Grave's one, I'm still figuring out what it means.
Histamin,
I haven't heard of Po Leung Kok Tan Siu Lin primary school before. But Po Leung Kuk is a famous educational instituion, and most of its schools are band 1 schools, though not in English medium. Mind you, Po Leung Kuk's schools are pushing its students hard, academically and in extra-curricular competitions, because their minds are set on becoming a prestigious brand of schools. It's becoming a direct subsidiary school very soon, which means it will have tution fee just like a private school, and it's full time, of course. All local primary schools will be full time by 2007.
In fact, I do not object to 8 or 10 items of homework a day, which are good for building up a good academic foundation of a child. I grew up under the local system with this workload, and it gave me a good academic foundation. It's the long school hours I'm against. When I was in primary school, it was half day. I had time to play during the day, now the word "play" is just like a dream for the poor kids. Why the change to full day school, because there're not enough students to support a school, and the less competitive ones are moving or closing down soon. So those morons at the educational bureaus are sacrificing our kids' energy and sleep to save the schools and educational workers. Imagine these kids are the future of our society, being brought up in a system with the lack of sleep and play at so early an age. I'm still figuring out how I can help my daughter to survive when she goes to primary school. Why don't those morons let the children finish homework before they come home so that they'll have time to play and rest?
If only we'll listen to our children and make them happy, they'll be willing to learn. But the present system just doesn't allow that. By the time they found out full day primary school is too tiring for kids, my child would have graduated then.
So why don't I send my child to an international school? I want her to be bilingual, that's my consideration.
Histamin,
I haven't heard of Po Leung Kok Tan Siu Lin primary school before. But Po Leung Kuk is a famous educational instituion, and most of its schools are band 1 schools, though not in English medium. Mind you, Po Leung Kuk's schools are pushing its students hard, academically and in extra-curricular competitions, because their minds are set on becoming a prestigious brand of schools. It's becoming a direct subsidiary school very soon, which means it will have tution fee just like a private school, and it's full time, of course. All local primary schools will be full time by 2007.
In fact, I do not object to 8 or 10 items of homework a day, which are good for building up a good academic foundation of a child. I grew up under the local system with this workload, and it gave me a good academic foundation. It's the long school hours I'm against. When I was in primary school, it was half day. I had time to play during the day, now the word "play" is just like a dream for the poor kids. Why the change to full day school, because there're not enough students to support a school, and the less competitive ones are moving or closing down soon. So those morons at the educational bureaus are sacrificing our kids' energy and sleep to save the schools and educational workers. Imagine these kids are the future of our society, being brought up in a system with the lack of sleep and play at so early an age. I'm still figuring out how I can help my daughter to survive when she goes to primary school. Why don't those morons let the children finish homework before they come home so that they'll have time to play and rest?
If only we'll listen to our children and make them happy, they'll be willing to learn. But the present system just doesn't allow that. By the time they found out full day primary school is too tiring for kids, my child would have graduated then.
So why don't I send my child to an international school? I want her to be bilingual, that's my consideration.
Last edited:
carang
Registered User
you could try chinese international school or yew chung international school...
even if you send your child to an international school, if you speak cantonese at home, your daughter will still be bilingual. she would need help with reading and writing though.
good luck!
and more importantly, RELAX! your pressure on her may just have the opposite effect to what you want!
even if you send your child to an international school, if you speak cantonese at home, your daughter will still be bilingual. she would need help with reading and writing though.
good luck!
and more importantly, RELAX! your pressure on her may just have the opposite effect to what you want!
Hi, Valencia
I'm glad to hear your opinion about Po Leung Kok local schools, because I'm foreingner in HongKong, I've never experienced HongKong's school.
It's not normal in my country that small age of kids in primary school have many homeworks and exams, we even don't have activities after school in primary stage 1 to 3, so we're only playing with our classmates after school.
I found Po Leung Kok Tan Siu Lin school in Kowloon side, they said 30% of the students from overseas, they're learning in multi-cultural atmosphere, so I'm considering this school for my son who is growing as mixed.
I prefer international school, ESF to local school without caring how much should we expense money for our children's education. But what do you think about their chinese (if you want them learn Chinese)?
Are all the local schools really doing same like sacrifing children's rest and sleep?
I heard some schools (private ones) don't, but it's hard to get in because of overwhelming of applications..
I'm glad to hear your opinion about Po Leung Kok local schools, because I'm foreingner in HongKong, I've never experienced HongKong's school.
It's not normal in my country that small age of kids in primary school have many homeworks and exams, we even don't have activities after school in primary stage 1 to 3, so we're only playing with our classmates after school.
I found Po Leung Kok Tan Siu Lin school in Kowloon side, they said 30% of the students from overseas, they're learning in multi-cultural atmosphere, so I'm considering this school for my son who is growing as mixed.
I prefer international school, ESF to local school without caring how much should we expense money for our children's education. But what do you think about their chinese (if you want them learn Chinese)?
Are all the local schools really doing same like sacrifing children's rest and sleep?
I heard some schools (private ones) don't, but it's hard to get in because of overwhelming of applications..
Histamin,
>>Are all the local schools really doing same like sacrificng children's rest and sleep?
I'm afraid yes. For example, my friend's sons are in P.1 - P.3. Their school doesn't have much homework, in fact. However, this year it's moved from Kwun Tong to Tseung Kwan O. They live in Kwun Tong. So the poor kids have to get up at 6:30 and catch the school bus, which arrives at the school at 7:30, even though the classes start at 8:00. School ends at 3:30, by the time the kids reach home, they're simply exhausted. Moreover, their school requires each student to have at least one sports activity, and they have to attend other extra-curricular activities after school, which leave them little time for homework and revising, let alone play.
90% of schools have at least 6 or more homework per day, plus tests and exams. Those who have less homework are usually not band 1 school and have a poor English standard. I can think of two exceptions. One is DBS, one of those you mentioned so hard to get in. Another one is Creative Primary School in Kowloon Tong, which unlike traditional schools, is activity based. However, most parents are worried that their kids may not catch up academically if they study in this kind of school.
In short, the study environment here is crazy.
>>Are all the local schools really doing same like sacrificng children's rest and sleep?
I'm afraid yes. For example, my friend's sons are in P.1 - P.3. Their school doesn't have much homework, in fact. However, this year it's moved from Kwun Tong to Tseung Kwan O. They live in Kwun Tong. So the poor kids have to get up at 6:30 and catch the school bus, which arrives at the school at 7:30, even though the classes start at 8:00. School ends at 3:30, by the time the kids reach home, they're simply exhausted. Moreover, their school requires each student to have at least one sports activity, and they have to attend other extra-curricular activities after school, which leave them little time for homework and revising, let alone play.
90% of schools have at least 6 or more homework per day, plus tests and exams. Those who have less homework are usually not band 1 school and have a poor English standard. I can think of two exceptions. One is DBS, one of those you mentioned so hard to get in. Another one is Creative Primary School in Kowloon Tong, which unlike traditional schools, is activity based. However, most parents are worried that their kids may not catch up academically if they study in this kind of school.
In short, the study environment here is crazy.
Dear Valenica,
I am sorry that you are so stressed about your child's education. Just a few observations.....
I taught at one of he most prestigious Girls' Schools in HK for three years. Although the standard of English was very high, the girls mostly reminded me of robots - they were unable to think independantly, and if a questions was not phrased in the same terms as their textbooks, they tended not to know the answer. In my experience with many HK students, the ability to think creatively and laterally is not at all valued in schools.
IN my experience, most developed countries have primary schools running fron 9ish - 3.30ish every day. It is not the full school day that is the problem, but a combination of unrealistic amounts of homework, and the ever growing trend for children to do TOO MANY activities after school. I have students who play two or three musical instruments, a couple of sports, + extra maths, tutoring etc etc. To have a 10 year old student (as I do) who does piano, clarinet, violin, tennis, basketball, netball, and extra maths and chinese classes, is aksing for an exhausted student, an an unhappy family.
Don't get me wrong - I am all for kids experiencing lots of things, but kids in HK do far too much, and simply don't have time for creative play. (or indeed, ANY kind of play).
I understand that HK is competitive for students, but you don;t have to be a doctor/lawer/architect/civil servant to be happy, or even to make a good salary.
I cannot help feeling that the competition sometimes is as a result of competition between mothers/parents. I hear conversations between parents that are just a constant battle of one-upmanship.
My little baby is not even one year old. But I would prefer him to be happy and average, than unhappy and extraordinary. So much depends on being balanced, and so little depends on being 'successful'.
Good Luck,
HappyV
I am sorry that you are so stressed about your child's education. Just a few observations.....
I taught at one of he most prestigious Girls' Schools in HK for three years. Although the standard of English was very high, the girls mostly reminded me of robots - they were unable to think independantly, and if a questions was not phrased in the same terms as their textbooks, they tended not to know the answer. In my experience with many HK students, the ability to think creatively and laterally is not at all valued in schools.
IN my experience, most developed countries have primary schools running fron 9ish - 3.30ish every day. It is not the full school day that is the problem, but a combination of unrealistic amounts of homework, and the ever growing trend for children to do TOO MANY activities after school. I have students who play two or three musical instruments, a couple of sports, + extra maths, tutoring etc etc. To have a 10 year old student (as I do) who does piano, clarinet, violin, tennis, basketball, netball, and extra maths and chinese classes, is aksing for an exhausted student, an an unhappy family.
Don't get me wrong - I am all for kids experiencing lots of things, but kids in HK do far too much, and simply don't have time for creative play. (or indeed, ANY kind of play).
I understand that HK is competitive for students, but you don;t have to be a doctor/lawer/architect/civil servant to be happy, or even to make a good salary.
I cannot help feeling that the competition sometimes is as a result of competition between mothers/parents. I hear conversations between parents that are just a constant battle of one-upmanship.
My little baby is not even one year old. But I would prefer him to be happy and average, than unhappy and extraordinary. So much depends on being balanced, and so little depends on being 'successful'.
Good Luck,
HappyV
HappyV,
I agree with you totally. I had private students from those schools, so it's my vanity and ambition to put my child in those schools. I won't like my child to participate in too many activities, but most moms in HK now are obsessed with the extra-curricular activities in order to earn credits for their children. Schools too are obsessed with activities and competitions in order to survive. I've heard about the mentality of those parents in those schools, and I'm afraid of becoming one.
These days I'm still adjusting to my new schedule, and reflecting on my academic obsession.
I agree with you totally. I had private students from those schools, so it's my vanity and ambition to put my child in those schools. I won't like my child to participate in too many activities, but most moms in HK now are obsessed with the extra-curricular activities in order to earn credits for their children. Schools too are obsessed with activities and competitions in order to survive. I've heard about the mentality of those parents in those schools, and I'm afraid of becoming one.
These days I'm still adjusting to my new schedule, and reflecting on my academic obsession.Hi Valencia and others,
My kids are now in ESF. They have Mandarin classes 3 times per week in school and DH and I also enrolled them in extra Mandarin after school.
Their progress is a bit slow, but they are begining to understand and use it as a *language*, not just as a purely academic exercise. However, ESF uses simplified characters in the reading and writing, while I wish they used complex characters, because that is most practical for living in HK and reading anything published before 1950.
Both my kids take an instrument. The older one (10) has violin & the younger one (8) guitar. We try to make them practice every day (1/2 hour for the older one & 15 minutes for the younger one).
The younger one has Kung Fu lessons & they both have a drawing class on Saturday.
It is a rather heavy schedule, but it would be heavier if we allowed them to take all the classes they have requested (riding, gymnastics, swimming [we only give them swimming in the summer], rock-climbing...].
Their school day goes from 8:30 to 2:30. I take them to school myself, we usually leave the house at 7:45-8:00.
It *is* hard to resist the competative urges. I remember at my son's 6th birthday, one of the mothers told me her son twas taking cello and *loved* it and practiced at least 1 hour each day, and at first I felt inadequate. Why wasn't I giving my son cello lessons or calligraphy? But then I said "wait a minute, unless the kids is an extremely unusual prodigy, isn't that a kind of sad childhood? She says he loves it, but do you really believe it....?"
Understanding the Robert Graves poem... I've been chewing on it for over 20 years (since my step-dad sent it to me). At this point, I think it is a poem about knowledge, self-knowledge and understanding. That when we embark on a true education we think about the mysetries of the world, which culminate in still more questions and maybe the answer does exit ("the neat brown paper parcel").
Once you have looked at the answers to the complex questions (opening the parcel) you find see even greater complexity and more things to answer (the neat brown parcel again).
His "Children, leave that string alone" because once you try to delve even deeper into the beauty and questions and complexities, you become enmeshed in them and tumble into further mysteries (which is how great scholars and scientists may spend their lives).
So then, after experiencing so many layers of complexity and mystery and trying to answer them, and if you are still love and are intrigued by "fewness, muchness, rareness, Greatness of this endless only Precious world " you are then ready to penetrate its mysteries and come up with some real answers.
And all this: the awe at the world around us and the quest for answers *is* true education, and is a deep and sometimes dangeorus endeavor that never stops.
At least, that is what I think it means now.... I will probably keep looking at that poem for the rest of my life and puzzling it over.
Because we all need to remember that education and academics are not the same thing (although they can be aligned) and remember the quote attributed to Mark Twain:
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education"
My kids are now in ESF. They have Mandarin classes 3 times per week in school and DH and I also enrolled them in extra Mandarin after school.
Their progress is a bit slow, but they are begining to understand and use it as a *language*, not just as a purely academic exercise. However, ESF uses simplified characters in the reading and writing, while I wish they used complex characters, because that is most practical for living in HK and reading anything published before 1950.
Both my kids take an instrument. The older one (10) has violin & the younger one (8) guitar. We try to make them practice every day (1/2 hour for the older one & 15 minutes for the younger one).
The younger one has Kung Fu lessons & they both have a drawing class on Saturday.
It is a rather heavy schedule, but it would be heavier if we allowed them to take all the classes they have requested (riding, gymnastics, swimming [we only give them swimming in the summer], rock-climbing...].
Their school day goes from 8:30 to 2:30. I take them to school myself, we usually leave the house at 7:45-8:00.
It *is* hard to resist the competative urges. I remember at my son's 6th birthday, one of the mothers told me her son twas taking cello and *loved* it and practiced at least 1 hour each day, and at first I felt inadequate. Why wasn't I giving my son cello lessons or calligraphy? But then I said "wait a minute, unless the kids is an extremely unusual prodigy, isn't that a kind of sad childhood? She says he loves it, but do you really believe it....?"
Understanding the Robert Graves poem... I've been chewing on it for over 20 years (since my step-dad sent it to me). At this point, I think it is a poem about knowledge, self-knowledge and understanding. That when we embark on a true education we think about the mysetries of the world, which culminate in still more questions and maybe the answer does exit ("the neat brown paper parcel").
Once you have looked at the answers to the complex questions (opening the parcel) you find see even greater complexity and more things to answer (the neat brown parcel again).
His "Children, leave that string alone" because once you try to delve even deeper into the beauty and questions and complexities, you become enmeshed in them and tumble into further mysteries (which is how great scholars and scientists may spend their lives).
So then, after experiencing so many layers of complexity and mystery and trying to answer them, and if you are still love and are intrigued by "fewness, muchness, rareness, Greatness of this endless only Precious world " you are then ready to penetrate its mysteries and come up with some real answers.
And all this: the awe at the world around us and the quest for answers *is* true education, and is a deep and sometimes dangeorus endeavor that never stops.
At least, that is what I think it means now.... I will probably keep looking at that poem for the rest of my life and puzzling it over.
Because we all need to remember that education and academics are not the same thing (although they can be aligned) and remember the quote attributed to Mark Twain:
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education"