need recommendation for general infants?

1

1stimemum

Registered User
hi all, I have Baby Love, Baby Whisperer but I need a general parenting book that gives me guidelines/ charts/ tables regarding Feeding/ Sleeping/ Routines/ Activities etc...

I like Baby Love but unfortunately I realize I need/ prefer more guidance. Everything is left very loose in her book and right now, my motherly instincts are failing me.

Hubby and i are on our own, no in-laws or family here and we need a book that can tell us what to expect each week/ month etc... But i dont like what to expect books....

is this a tall ask?
 
I haven't used it but I hear that a lot of new mums have used Gina Ford's contented little baby book to help with setting routines - doesn't work for everyone though.

We've been in a similar position and have been using a combination of trial and error, reading forums and doctor's advice, but mostly trial and error.
 
A friend gave me Miriam Stoppard's bible, which is good for newborns up to pre-school. It covers all useful things like feeding, sleeping, hygiene, illness, caregivers, mental development and some parenting issues. The book is not 'fashionable' any more but I think it is a good primer for first time parents.

I also have the "What to Expect" series, ie for Baby's First Year and now "The Toddler Years".

Like you, we are first time parents raising our baby away from family overseas. I read Gina Ford's book too and did not follow the strict schedule that she proposed. The introduction to solids (up to 12 months) I found helpful though.
 
carang, my boy is 2 months old now and I just feel lost some things and hoping to get a good reference book, something i can check up quick facts for eg : what weight should he be at x mths, how many naps, how often a day.... etc...
 
all of those answers can be found on the internet.

what weight? that depends on the birth weight.
how many naps? google "amount of sleep for x months baby" and see what comes up.

really, you DO have the instincts... to heck with what everyone else says. do what YOU think is right.
 
1sttimemum, I also felt lost and went out and bought just about every book ever written on babies. In the end it was information overload and I soon realised that my son was an individual and no book is ever going to tell me everything. So in the end I gave away the books, stopped worrying about nap times, weight, how much to feed, when to feed etc etc and just went with what my son did. What I did find usefull was this forum where I read peoples opinions or suggestions about what they did and gave them a try. If it didn't work I didn't worry I just tried something else.

Out of all the books I had bought the only ones I kept were Baby Whisperer and Baby Love. And over time I found myself referring to them less and less. We were in a similar situation to you in HK with no family and no helper and I certainly didn't have any motherly instincts either!

It will get easier, just go along for the ride and enjoy your son.
 
totally agree!

the thing to remember is that you can read all of the books ever written BUT your child has not! your child is an individual that won't necessarily fit into any of the categories for any of the authors.

good luck! i think that many, if not most, of us on here are in exactly the same boat as you are. we were all first-time parents at one point in our lives...
 
thanks for the kind words. Is it weird that i feel stupid/ bad asking for help. I try not to ask so many questions in the this forum and read as many old threads as i can.

Everyone here is so helpful,its been amazing.

i have found that no matter how many problems i solve, each day something new happens. and its a new situation all over.
 
there are no stupid questions, so don't worry about that!

parenthood is a constant challenge to each and every one of us. you are NOT alone! the challenges just change as time goes on.... right now, you are concerned about sleeping/feeding (that one will last a while), but soon you will be wondering about walking, talking, schooling, sharing, making friends, behaviour in general etc...
 
I read a bunch of books too - BabySense, BabyWise, What to Expect..., Babywhisperer and a few others before I had my baby and in the months following. Probably the most interesting one was BabyWhisperer, which I wish I read before my baby came.
But all in all, my baby didn`t let me follow any book or method or philosophy - he was busy just being him and I was busy getting to know who that was.
I would say the biggest help for me by far was and still is this forum. I have asked a million questions, I`m sure a lot of them stupid to some. It`s been great to hear other HK moms` experiences and advice, and I am happy if I can give back every now and again.
It sounds like you`Re already doing a great job because you are so interested to know more, to improve and to be a better parent, so you`re already one step ahead.
When all else fails, follow your baby`s lead, and try to guide him with the knowledge you have gained so far. If you can try to stay in sync with your baby as much as possible, I think you are beating all the advice about this routine and that pattern in all the books.
 
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