Need potty training help!


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I have an almost 3 yr old that is proving impossible to potty train.
We started a few times but he has never been ready so I've left it.
He is about to start nursery, and needs to be potty trained before he can start.
I've tried everything, reward charts, the whole bit, but he refuses to even sit on the potty, and simply wets his underpants, and saves his poos for bedtime when he has a nappy.
I can't understand it as I've managed to train 2 other children.

Anyone had a reluctant older child? Anyone got any helpful ideas?
just wondering how long you persist before giving up?
i thought my son obviously wasn't ready when he continued to pee in his pants for the first 3 - 4 days. he showed no signs whatsoever of getting the concept. I was about to give up and just put nappy back BUT on day 4 he finally used the toilet (with one of those smaller cushioned seats - always hated the potty!) and we never looked back. he was fine from then on.
We are in our 2nd week of wet pants! I'm trying to persevere, but I am getting so frustrated.
We have both the seat and the potty.
He used to sit on both without actually doing anything and thought it was a fun game, he went once on the potty, we all clapped, he was thrilled, and he got to put a star on his chart, but that was a week ago and now he refuses to even sit on it.

This is crazy, we are talking about a 3 year old.
And he needs to be out of nappies soon. What am I supposed to try?
oh no! i feel for you

have you tried bribery with m&ms and lollipops? that is the only other thing i can think of. after 1 week of being potty trained my son seemed to get a bit bored of it so we resorted to a lollipop everytime he did a poo in the toilet and a couple of m&ms every time he did a wee. it got him back on track and we only needed to do it for a week or so.

worth a try maybe?
i second bribery with treats! lol maybe a special book about potty training or dvd? or have you tried getting the older ones to teach him? maybe take a week off too just to give you both a break from the head space and then resume. You could also speak to the nursery teacher and just say that you're sorry but need a bit more time - I'm sure they would be accommodating - better he wears a diaper for just a little while than her having to change him all day?
hi jojo
it sounds like physically your son is ready, so i will suggest this plan of action (and the other suggestions by pp's are good too).

is your son looking forward to going to school?
if so, take him to the school, if possible do a little walk around. if the school has a uniform, let him look at it.
tell him once he is using the toilet, he will be going to school and wearing the uniform.

we took our ds to his brother's school and told him he wouldn't be able to start until he was dry, and three days later he had been dry for three days.
I have no advice as for my son's case, it seems to be a natural progress. I didn't do bribery coz I didn't want him to do it for the purpose of getting something nice. So, I am just gonna share with you about my experience.

My son is 2.5-yr-old. I started potty training when he was about 2. I simply let him go diaper free at home. For the first few days, he would get wet, and every time he got wet, I pointed at the potty which I put in the living room for easy access, and told him to pee in there, and just kept reminding him to pee in the potty during the day as part of the conversation with him. After a few times getting wet, he started to pee in the potty. I praised him with big kisses and hugs and called grandpa and grandma and told everyone about it. He seemed to be very proud of himself about this. Sometimes, he might get wet again, but again kept reminding him to get back to the potty. Step by step, eventually I put the potty in the toilet, and now he pees and poos like an adult but on a mini seat. When he pees, he asks me not to help and to stay outside of the toilet. He even flushes the toilet himself.

Maybe you can ask the daddy to demonstrate and tell him this is the way the big boy does it.
Little monster, that is exactly what I did with my other 2 and it worked well.
Unfortunatley, this isn't working with this one.
I've found that going nappy free isn't a good idea, as he seems to deliberately make a bigger mess! A least the underwear keeps in contained.
His Daddy has demonstrated, and his other brothers have even used the potty to show him!
I've been trying the bribery thing, but it's not working.
Will keep it up and let you know how it goes.

I'm wondering if sending him to school and letting him have a few accidents will help? Anyone done this? or is it just too horrible?
I thought maybe if he saw that all the other children used to bathroom he might be more willing.
Hi jojo72,
My son also toilet trained very late when he reached 3yrs (he's fine for wee but still has a problem with poo).

From our own experience and although very frustrating, there's just no pushing them - they will become ready in their own time. We attempted toilet training many times over 6 months. If it just wasn't working or he got too upset, we left it and waited another few weeks.

We also decided to bypass the potty stage because we knew there would only be toilets at school. Initially he was very resistant to even going near the toilet and would cry if we tried to make him sit on it, but over time he started to take a interest - in particular pressing the flush button. We would also leave the door open and let him see us using the toilet.

We also tried potty books, DVDs and reward stickers but that never worked. But funnily enough, on his 3rd birthday, one of his presents was a sticker making machine. I said he could only play with it if he had a wee in the toilet, and that was our breakthrough. We agreed that he could choose and make 5 stickers each time, and then stick them onto a large piece of paper to make a collage.

He was supposed to be fully toilet trained for school and I even suggested he start later, but the school were very accommodating and allowed him to go in pull-ups and said that seeing other kids going to the toilet might help his development. Fortunately he's never had a poo at school yet. He's also not the only one not fully toilet trained, and even the ones that are still have the odd accident - it's to be expected at that age.

I'm still having trouble with his poo and the stickers/new toy approach is not working! If no progress is made soon, i might start to get 'mean' and ban all his favourite treats!!
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Hi Jojo, everyone here has given you good advice but i thought I'd tell you something completely different that a psychologist said to a friend of mine. It might be completely off base but it sounds like you're desperate and willing to hear everything!

My friend's son is even older than yours and has been 'potty training' for over a year. Still won't tell her when he wants to do wee, wets his pants constantly (they took away nappies ages ago) and as for going poo, well you can imagine.

Anyway, he has a very, very regimented life and the psych says that it's his way of controlling the only aspect of his life he has any say in. I have no idea if this applies but it's worth putting it out there. If it's the case I would suggest letting him control a few more things in his life so he doesn't feel so powerless and things might just change.

Good luck. It must be so frustrating.
Before I started potty training my son, someone in the supermarket shared her experience in potty training. She put some colorful paper flakes in the toilet bowl, and asked her son to shoot the paper flakes with his pee. Just to make peeing in the toilet a fun thing to do.

I have never tried this. Maybe you can. see if it works. Good luck!
Potty training efforts.

My husband has a three year old daughter. her mother loves to keep her in diapers as she doesnt want to do any work. We tried several things and some worked some did not.

Potty chart: putting stickers and getting stickers; didnt work stickers were fun for her for a day and then she didnt care about them any more.

Rewards: food; she doesnt like anything really but cheese so if she eats cheese all day then she doesnt feel its an award, so alas it didnt work

Showing her we use the potty: my husband and I BOTH showed her we use the potty. :haha: my husband even sat on the toilet to go pee. we bought her a training potty and set it across from our potty and put her in underware, when we went potty, we would make her sit on her potty. she barely wet her pants and she did awsome we had her trained compleatly in four days!

With our son (since we live in the middle of no where) we are just gunna take him out back and let him whis outside, my husband picked up this trait from his grandfather when they would go out in the woods or be out doing yardwork. it trained him. so we will try it out on our son when the time comes!