misuse of baby changing room

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Ai li

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What should I do when seeing a couple walk out from the baby changing room without any baby after a long wait.

The first time I encountered was in IFC about 3years ago. I reported it immediately to the customer service. All they did was just took down my name and contact number and asked me about the time that I saw it happned. And thats it!!??

I have encountered 3 times in 3 years. The very last time, I questioned the couple while they were walking out. '' What are you gals doing inside the BB room without any BB or child''. The couple just ignored me and walked straight without turning their heads back at all. I suppose they were guilty about it.

Anyway, what would you do if you were me? Any advice?
 
I'm rarely in a place that has this type of room so I just do my breastfeeding out in the open with a breastfeeding shawl. If someone was taking a long time in the baby room, I would do the same thing I would do if someone was taking a long time in the toilette and there was a line--I would make a nuisance of myself and knock on the door until someone answered.  If they didn't have a baby, I would give them the 'what for' in a very direct way and tell them that I'm going to report them to the management. That's how I do things--not the style for everyone--but I just got tired of this sort of rudeness being overlooked.
 
"I just got tired of this rudeness being overlooked".

Amen to that Thanka2. I would do the same. I'm not a confrontational person but when people are inconsiderate, they deserve to be told off.
 
This is a post that resonates with me. I was so frustrated.

I've had a problem with the IFC baby changing rooms recently in the last 6 months 3 times in all. Either couples would come out together with no baby, and once it was a Chinese guy who came out first and the lady who followed him afterwards was SE Asian. Then one time after we left the baby changing room, there was a couple with no baby along who popped into the room immediately after us. It only ever happens on the 2nd floor of the IFC, I've never had a problem on the ground floor. I reported it once to the management staff who was in the vicinity but they did not take down my details and I think didn't understand what I was saying (or pretended not to). It's disgusting that a baby changing room is used for these sorts of inappropriate business.

Another aside, I have had issues where people have banged on the door when I have been pumping in the rooms (and yes, its true, my milk let down is very slow -45 minutes to completely empty), and I have always replied with a time when I would be done. I think the system that occurs in some of the clubs where there is an area where you can draw a shower curtain like thing to feed works ALOT better as people won't get up to these sorts of activities at the expense of others.

Not much I can advise but here to commiserate.......
 
Pretend to take a photo of them walking out :)
On second thoughts, that could be a bit too antagonistic...
 
Pretend to take a photo of them walking out :)
On second thoughts, that could be a bit too antagonistic...

Antagonistic? If it were me, the point would not be to antagonize anyone, the point is to educate people. In the same way that people who are not disabled who use disabled parking places (not that they exist in HK but...) or disabled stalls in the bathroom should be taught that it's not okay, people who inappropriately use what is designed for mothers and babies in HK should be educated and nothing like being embarassed to help people remember... Should be a "wall of shame" of people who misuse facilties in my opinion.
 
I have no problem with a wall of shame, just thinking that the two walking out could get aggressive/nasty about it though, which could be quite perilous for the one holding the camera!!
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I hope I'm not reading too much into this, but is the implication that couples were using nursing/changing rooms for 'intimate' activity?! Or are there toilet facilities in the baby rooms that they are using to cut in line or have more privacy in?

On a separate note, once I was in a nursing room with my first newborn and saw what I thought was a prophylactic device in the sink. I was horrified, but a few months later learned that there are bottle liners that look, when crumpled up, similar. Lol.
 
ssheng - that is EXACTLY what we are talking about! At the IFC there are no toilet facilities. It is a room, there is a chair to sit in as you feed, some wet wipes in a box (usually empty) and a sink and trash can, and the room can be locked.

Two of the couples I saw, one going in and one on the way out were clearly not together - it seemed like it was a PAID transaction (purely speculative....but one couple left separately, and the couple coming in, the lady came in first and the guy who was ALOT older than her was standing some ways away, hurried on in once we had left, different nationalities, so unlikely to be her dad helping her to pump or however dads may help in this situation) but the other 2 couples were together (holding hands on the way out, chatting).

Yes, it does put you off using the rooms, but where else can you go to feed/pump? I know some people are okay with feeding in restaurants with a shawl and I've even done it a few times, but frankly I'm more comfortable in a private room, where I can make sure I'm relaxed, I can check that babes hasn't fallen off the breast, I don't have people looking and pointing at me.
 
I have no problem with a wall of shame, just thinking that the two walking out could get aggressive/nasty about it though, which could be quite perilous for the one holding the camera!!
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Oh, that wouldn't be too much of a problem for me as I know how to fight back and there is mall security afterall if something truly terrible goes down. In my experience, when people in HK are confronted with things like this they kind of slink away.
 
Thanka2, your post cracks me up. I'm tiny though wish I were much bigger so could deal with it there and then!
 
I think that if you frequent IFC that much, it's worth writing a formal complaint. Telling the manager on duty verbally will not have the same impact as sending a letter. Indicate the date & time of incident. You can only speculate what they do in there and you have no evidence of inappropriate behaviour. You can say that it is a misuse since they have no baby & mention the inconvenience it has caused.

I think IFC management won't want their public facilities to be turned into a place for a quickie. Perhaps tell them to put up signs on the door that these changing facilities are strictly for baby changing & feeding & CCTV cameras are in use (and videos will be posted on YouTube if they don't get a room!)
 
Thanka2, your post cracks me up. I'm tiny though wish I were much bigger so could deal with it there and then!

I'll just assume you're not calling me fat. :bawling:

But....where I come from some of the smallest people have the most fight in them. :)
 
I think that if you frequent IFC that much, it's worth writing a formal complaint. Telling the manager on duty verbally will not have the same impact as sending a letter. Indicate the date & time of incident. You can only speculate what they do in there and you have no evidence of inappropriate behaviour. You can say that it is a misuse since they have no baby & mention the inconvenience it has caused.

I think IFC management won't want their public facilities to be turned into a place for a quickie. Perhaps tell them to put up signs on the door that these changing facilities are strictly for baby changing & feeding & CCTV cameras are in use (and videos will be posted on YouTube if they don't get a room!)

Great idea. This is where a photo of the couple leaving the room sans baby would be great to include. Yeah, I think that it's really gross that people would use the room for that purpose but even if it's not for that purpose it's still wrong. I think that breastfeeding women should get first dibs on those rooms anyway--especially the ones designed to sit down and feed in. I did happen to have to knock really hard on the door that was locked at such a mall last week and found a grandma in there feeding the baby with a bottle. Why do you need to lock the door? Really irritating as I was looking for a place to breastfeed.
 
I'm rarely in a place that has this type of room so I just do my breastfeeding out in the open with a breastfeeding shawl. If someone was taking a long time in the baby room, I would do the same thing I would do if someone was taking a long time in the toilette and there was a line--I would make a nuisance of myself and knock on the door until someone answered.

I know that would upset my wife and I suspect it would annoy lots of other women too - if they are quietly breastfeeding and some unknown stranger started banging on the door and hassling them when they are at a vulnerable time. Usage of these shared facilities is a privilege, not a right and if it is occupied then you should wait in line like everyone else instead of shouting and making a fuss.

didn't have a baby, I would give them the 'what for' in a very direct way

And now you're going to demand them to produce their baby so you can let them continue breastfeeding uninterrupted? I have to say I find this type of anti-social behaviour extremely rude.
 
Although the couples are probably using the room for a hook-up (highly annoying), they could well argue, if challenged, that the woman was pumping, which is also a legitimate use of the room. I think letter to IFC is the way to go - though what action they could take is also questionable. A CCTV in the room would be undesirable; one outside the room wouldn't help.

By banging on the door, one might be disturbing someone doing something legitimate - like pumping, or even bottle feeding a troublesome eater. I never get why people bang on toilet doors - if one is taking a while it's usually because of something unpleasant like a tummy upset; rarely is one taking a snooze in there.
 
to be honest, i don't know what would work. i've, personally never encountered the problem. i always fed when and where my kids were hungry. i never once used such a room. i also never had a single person point at me or stare. i was careful as to what clothing i wore and i never even used a shawl. i figured that would draw more attention to the fact that i was breastfeeding.

maybe a key to get from customer service? but that would mean that there would have to be a customer service counter nearby.
 
I know that would upset my wife and I suspect it would annoy lots of other women too - if they are quietly breastfeeding and some unknown stranger started banging on the door and hassling them when they are at a vulnerable time. Usage of these shared facilities is a privilege, not a right and if it is occupied then you should wait in line like everyone else instead of shouting and making a fuss.



And now you're going to demand them to produce their baby so you can let them continue breastfeeding uninterrupted? I have to say I find this type of anti-social behaviour extremely rude.

Okay, first, I don't think breastfeeding is a "vulnerable time" but that's just my opinion. Second, there is something called respect and I have yet to wait for a long time, knock on a door (not "bang" on a door as you implied) and find a shy, disheveled breastfeeding woman inside cringing. If I did encounter such a woman, I would apologize profusely for interrupting her as I know what it's like to feel disheveled and vulnerable sometimes (however, not while breastfeeding usually). Most of the time (99.999%) I just choose to breastfeed in public because, well, I don't live where the "fancy shmancy" breastfeeding rooms are at in HK (and that is completely fine by me). I've breastfed on moving MTR trains, a scary bus ride coming down from the Peak, ferries, trams, Cha Chan Tings, park benches...pretty much everywhere imaginable in HK. I'm not "demanding" anything that isn't intended for my use in the first place as a breastfeeding woman. And you imply that I'm shouting and causing a scene. Nope. Giving someone the "what for" can sometimes be little more than "the look."

When I seek out a room like this it is for a very good and urgent reason. The couple of times I've knocked on the door as in, "Is there anyone still alive in there?" it has ALWAYS been someone with a bottle in hand or even just in there changing the baby's diaper (for 20 minutes?!) without feeding the baby at all. There's one thing to wait and then there's another thing to wait for 30-40 minutes while someone occupies the room who has no business holding it up. I have never encountered a breastfeeding woman in any of these rooms. Also, women like myself know how to appropriately approach other women in such a space. In the bathroom we might rap lightly on the door--it has happened to me many a time.

And a few of the rooms are the types that have a larger waiting area for bottle fed babies and a changing area and then three or four private rooms for breastfeeding--all have grandmas in them feeding with bottles or helpers feeding with bottles. No need for privacy when you feed with a bottle, in my opinion. Inexcusable and very rude. Why do they keep doing that? Because everyone is just patiently waiting in line and no one ever says anything about it--very classic behavior in HK--suffer in silence while rude people just do whatever they want because they can.

What is more anti-social? Sitting in a room intended primarily for breastfeeding women when you 1) don't need to breastfeed 2) or even don't have a baby at all with you (as with the couples using it for "private time") or trying to access such a room because 1) you do have a baby 2) you need to breastfeed that baby.

I think you're reading way more into my post than was there. I think you imagine me to be some barbarian but of course, I'm not. I'm a breastfeeding woman who thinks that private breastfeeding stalls should be used only by breastfeeding women. I also think that handicapped stalls in bathroom should be used by handicapped people.
 
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