life without helper

K

Kathjen

Registered User
Hello! My husband and I are moving to Hong Kong in a few months. We are also in the process of adopting a child, who will come to us after we have been in Hong Kong for several months. (Just a coincidence that these two major events are happening at the same time ;-)

We have decided to forego a live-in helper for various reasons. I have been lurking on this very helpful site and saw a few posts from women who also have children and no live-in helper. I would be grateful to hear from anyone wishing to share their experience and any resources, groups, routines, etc. that you have found helpful. I am particularly interested in good babysitting resources.

Thank you for any information!
Kathy
 
getting around

Hello
I have a five month old and I am without a helper. I think the hardest thing for me in Hong kong is getting around. HK is not ver y baby freindly, lots and lots of stairs, small shops (can hardly move a pram) the buses dont have anywhere to store the pram and dont usualy hang on for you to be seated before leaving. In short I have to plan everything I do. If im out for a long time and need to carry shopping I take the baby in a pouch..if going to eat, browse shops etc I take the pram and carry the pouch in a bag to transfer the baby into if getting on a bus etc. I usualy look like an over loaded camel...I sometimes wish for some help at that point. You will find that most supermarkets deliver so that helps. Other than that I have not yet found a baby sitter so I will be looking. (havnt had the heart to leave the little one yet) the only mother baby group I have been to has been organised here on this site where I have met some lovely people. one good thing is that I have found people to be quite helpful sometimes offer to help me in and out of buses etc.
Good luck with the move and congratulations with the adoption.
 
Hi,

I have a 2 yr old and had been managing without a helper. I have to agree with Jam that the hardest thing is getting around and getting the shopping done. I get most of the groceries delivered but like to buy fresh veggies etc myself. And that can be quite a task..has be carefully planned around my son's moods and schedules :)
For 2 months now I have a part-time maid coming in thrice a week to do housecleaning for me. I don't have to worry about that anymore..it used to be really difficult to get everything done. I haven't tried leaving my son with her as yet but hoping that he will get comfortable with her after a while.

Haven't tried any babysitting. Mother and baby groups are nice if you can join one, just to be able to talk to other Moms.

Take care and congragulations on your soon-to-come baby.
 
Hi! Congrats on your adoption! My husband and I have chosen to raise our 12 month old son without a helper and it's been great! We have found that working out a routine so that we can be superorganized has made all the difference--this includes everything from grocery shopping to personal time. We are also able to budget in taxi rides for all our errands because we have put everything on a schedule. Be sure to take advantage of free delivery and pick up---supermarkets, laundry/dry cleaners, restaurants. One other thing----my husband and I made a point to find a flat in a building that is very stroller friendly and within walking distance to a supermarket and park so that we could do outings with our son without having to worry about travel plans.
This is just my two cents..... I'd say you need to figure out what works best for you. Best wishes with your move and adoption!:burnout:
 
Hi there,

My husband and I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old. After considering the option of having live-in help, we ultimately decided not to. We do, however, have a part-time helper who handles house cleaning and light baby-sitting.

There are many reasons which make it possible for us to manage our lifestyle: 1) we plan ahead and are very structured (even weekends) particularly at this stage in our children's lives; 2) I've found that raising children w/o a maid in Hong Kong requires sustained effort and committment from both mother AND father. My husband is as much involved in the nitty gritty of raising our children as I am; 3) we have an excellent part-time helper who understands how we need for her to help us (this changes as the children grow); 4) our children have a daily routine and so every day their nap times, meal times, and to-bed time are consistent. I've actually synched their nap times so that I have down time for myself 5) once your children are old enough (i.e. toddler) it's absolutely critical to get out of the house (i.e., go to the park, playgroup, run errands, etc., ) 6) We live in a place where things are conveniently located and we also take advantage of grocery deliveries, dry-clean pickup and delivery, etc.,

If you do chose not to have a helper, recognize that your patterns and the way you run your life are bound to be different from the majority of families here, which does make it a bit harder to connect with others. But it can be done!

Hong Kong is a great place to be. You can make it work and have a lot of fun, too!
 
Thank you all very much for your advice and kind wishes on our adoption. It looks like I'll have to hone my organizational skills! Good to hear about all of the delivery/pick-up services.

All the best to you,
Kathy
 
All your emails are great but let me add a few comments:

I am taking care alone of my son of 22 months old and I find it difficult also.

Reason 1:
I would need that part time help you mention which I cannot get because it is simply illegal. Unless you have a permanent resident ID holder, it is simply illegal and I cannot find any maid agreeing to that. If you know another solution just let me know.

Reason 2:
What happen is that my husband and I end up doing computer messages each on our side on evening. As twice a week we are dining out, our personal time is poor if you think of it
Yes my son is having a fabulous time.
Else we could need to sacrifice on week ends which is a no-no (the only time when the 3 of us are together).

So an helper is not so much for replacing you but also to free a bit of your time for yourself.

For babysitting, I found the best is to ask around a student in your building. It is convenient for all and easy to find.

Good luck.
 
Legal Help

Minono -- just wanted to mention that you can, in fact, find legal help. Check out the references on past threads that have been posted on this site. My part-time helper is a Hong Kong lady because I wish to be above board, like you.

With respect to your second point, I will concede that there is a price to everything we chose to do. I have to remind myself constantly of my/the "big picture".

Best regards.
 
part-time help

Hi Minono,

It is legal to hire a part-time helper who is a permanent resident of HK. I registered on the government website (which has a section on domestic helper) and put down my requirements. I only asked for someone who can understand at least some english and has some experience. I got a no. of applicants and have a hired a Chinese lady. At the moment she just cleans the house. Soon as and when my son gets more comfortable with her presence she will do some babysitting too so I get some free time. Hope you find a part-time helper soon.
Take care
 
We have no live-in helper but have hired a local lady for part-time help. We take my son everywhere in an unpadded sling (like the Maya Wrap that the HK LLL sells). We have a pram, but even if with a wiggly, large year old toddler it is wayyyyy easier to get around if you just leave the pram at home. Eating out is almost impossible with a baby in HK, though.
 
I've a 6 month old baby and have "survived" so far without a helper. It is possible, though I get alot of support from my husband. We do manage to get out for meals, going out at lunchtime instead of the evenings, and restaurants in HK don't mind this. It may be a little difficult for you to begin with as you'll be new to the area, feel free to contact me if you're in need of a chat and good luck with the move!
Loraine
 
I just wanted to thank you all.
I have found a HK lady from Philippines who has a permanent ID Card and take her part time which make us both happy.

I have commited a number of hours so I could get a better rate and she could get a commitment.
 
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