Is force & tears in toothbrushing better than decay?

L

Liquorice

Registered User
Hi, my son is almost 14 months now and has 8 teeth - has had many for a long time. Anyway, I can't clean his teeth.

I have tried that little rubber thing you put on your finger, a proper toothbrush and all the brushes in between. I have tried tasty toothpaste. I have tried getting him to do it himself. I have tried singing a little brushing teeth song. I have tried using a little piece of material instead.

I have tried everything I can think of or have been advised, and nothing, but nothing works. He purses his mouth shut and gets really upset if I try for too long or force him.

From other mother's experience who have been in the same boat, is it better to force him (with many tears) to let me clean them? Will he accept it over time or will it just give him some sort of hang up about cleaning his teeth?

Surely force and tears is better than decay? Really don't know what to do and I'm starting to get worried about his teeth.
 
my son needed $40,000hkd worth of dental work by the time he was 5... yes, brush, no matter the tears! that's my opinion.
(PS> i couldn't manage paying that ridiculous amount in hk... so spent 1/2 that and spent 11 days in bangkok with my son and had the work done there!)
 
My son was the same and I forced him, he has no problems with me brushing his teeth now and his teeth are in very good condition (dentist said). I went through the same drama with my toddler recently but she seems to be coming out of it and letting me brush her teeth now. You will know it was all worth it when they go to the dentist and get told they have no cavities.
 
but keep in mind, some people just have bad teeth. both of my kids brush their teeth 2-3 times/day and they do a good job of it... but my boy still ended up with mega-cavities.
 
My son is also resistant to brushing teeth. So I showed him a video (on youtube) of Crawford the Cat brushing his teeth. He was encouraged by it and started cooperating. He still resists every now and then, so I use examples like the McQueen Car (from Cars movie) having shiny white teeth and since McQueen is his current favorite toy he will cooperate briefly. Hope these tricks work for you!
 
Both of my children are a terror to brush their teeth! When they're little I have to hold their arms in one hand and force them to let me brush their teeth with the other. It's to fun, but they need to learn that they can't always have it their way when it comes to what's best for them in the long run. I've heard too many stories about little one's needing work on their baby teeth. I say brush!
 
I think a lot of whether someone has bad teeth is genetic too, I know some people who just seem to have a terrible time with their teeth and it's not like they have an appalling diet or bad hygiene!

We do a mix of things with The Boy, for example looking for monsters/dinosaurs/starfish in his mouth and using the brush to get them out. We have two toothbrushes, a normal one and an electric one and he gets to choose which one he uses, he also has two toothpastes so he can choose which one he wants (creates an illusion that he is control of the process when, in fact at the end whatever he chooses he always gets his teeth brushed). Reading books or watching episodes of things where characters get their teeth brushed is also good.

At the end of the day, we've still had episodes of toothbrushing refusal over the last year or so, I normally let it go a couple of days trying all of the above and then eventually if he's still refusing I've occasionally done it by force but mostly he's given in and started letting us do it again.
 
i've actually introduced the tooth brush during their bath time so that they see it as something fun - have also had them brush their teeth whilst they were on the toilet seat (trying to potty train at the same time - nothing to do, so brush your teeth...something fun)...anyhow, long story short - they enjoy brushing their teeth now - have the odd days when they wont open their mouth for me...but they will let our helper brush - whatever! as long as they get brushed. i have a feeling my kids like to eat the toothpaste instead of brushing so i've a big stack of the toothpaste they like (once the tooth paste was out of stock in every place i looked...i was screwed). need to decide when to take them to the dentist... not lookiing forward to that!
 
@lesliefu: I've that "out of stock" dilemma right now. The toothpaste my daughter used to use and love to brush with is out of stock all over HK. We've tried 6 other ones and she just refused!!!
 
I took my girl to the shop and let her buy 2 toothbrushes she liked-every evening she choses which one she wants and then she brushes my teeth and while I brush hers or we brush together-always in front of a mirror as she finds it super funny.
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I should add that before we had screaming matches,mouth tightly shut and twisting the head etc.Then I read somewhere about how to make it easier and it worked magic:)
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From working with children that sometimes by the age of 2 or 3 years-old have BLACK teeth because their parents don't want the stress of making them brush I say brush his teeth no matter what. It's kind of like giving a child medicine when they really need it--if you have to sit on them to get the medicine in them you have to do it. Eventually he'll get the idea that no matter what he does teeth brushing is not optional. Be consistent. Personally, I'd rather fight the battle now while he's still small (14 months is still somewhat of a baby) than wait and have to keep fighting it until he's in primary school. I think you'll just have to accept that he doesn't like teeth brushing and he's putting up a fight but do it anyway--and do it often. If he knows it's going to happen twice a day and you carry through with it no matter what, I think you'll end up teaching him that this is just how things go.
 
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My daughter also has resisted teeth brushing, but we did force it - and now at 3, she doesn't only accept it, but she somewhat enjoys it. We too brush her teeth in the bath as someone else mentioned. She went through a phase when she would ONLY like a particular brand of toothpaste but now she is good with different brands as well. She is now almost independent in her brushing (if she is paying attention rather than being silly). She has some minor staining on her teeth from when we were less consistent with it when she was younger and for me, that was the kick in the butt that I needed to make sure that it doesn't become anything more serious! Staining is a minor issue, but cavities are a major and often expensive issue. Be consistent when they are young and when they're older it won't be as big an issue.
 
Hi there
I also had a lot of trouble with my daughter at about the same age and I tried lots of things until it started to work:
1) ask her to bring a toy along who also needs his teeth brushed and do his first so she/he knows what is coming
2) count to 5 as you brush so even if they are crying they know it wont last forever
3) for the times where they are being really resistant I would take her into the bedroom and sit on her to do her teeth - obviously not hurting her but showing her that she will get her teeth brushed the easy way.. or the hard way. If they are crying it's actually easier to brush their teeth cos their mouth is open
4) Give a sticker when it's all done and finished
5) Do your teeth at the same time/before they do theirs
6) Talk about the food that you can see in their mouth that you need to clean... ooh look I can see the carrots you had for dinner, let's say bye bye carrots etc
7) Talk about making lots of bubbles in their mouth - all babies love bubbles!
8) If he/she is insistent about doing it themselves, they can do it after you have cleaned them first.. 'my turn/your turn' type thing.
Good luck and dont worry - if you perservere you'll get there. My daughter is very happy to do her teeth now and actually does quite a good job of brushing them herself too.
 
I had the same struggle with my son around that age. I found that a trick worked only a few times, so here are a few different tricks that worked at different times:
1. He brushed my teeth first, and i brushed his.
2. Brushing in front of a mirror together and making funny faces as we brushed.
3. Brushing with him on my lap and me smiling and snuggling, to associate brushing with snuggles and other happy feelings
4. Watching a video about a boy who didn't brush his teeth and these "bad guys" came in with power tools and drilled the boys teeth and made him cry (it sounds traumatic, but it is a short song with a happy tune). Then we discussed all the bad guys in his teeth and what we needed to do to get them out of his mouth before they started drilling him (again, its all about tone...we tried to be playful with it)
5. Now (he's 6) I have him hum a long song while he brushes to make sure he brushes enough. usually we brush together and make silly faces to keep it fun, but sometimes he will brush by himself now.
6. We changed the tooth brushing to a different time for a while. When he was 2 and a half, he was resisting tooth brushing because he associated it with bedtime, and it was the bedtime he was resisting, more than the brushing. So we did it earlier in the evening and told him resistance meant he had less play time.

making it about a power struggle might be all part of the "fun" for your child. Force brushing will make it worse because he will put up a fight every night and just get bigger, stronger, and better at fighting you off.
 
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