Interview...telling lies?

[Valencia]

I took my daughter to a school interview today. Yesterday her class teacher asked me if my child was going to stay until K3, that she's been mentioning going to interview? This is the first interview and hopefully the last I took her to. I said yes I wanted her to stay and that she wasn't going to interviews on Friday giving excuses. I'm afraid my child will mention the name of that school on Monday, I think it's just inevitable. Should I tell another lie again, making myself and the teachers sound stupid? If I tell the truth, how can my daughter survive the remaining school year, since I plan to change school next Sept? What are your opinions? The school my daughter goes to is getting less and less students, so they are keeping a close eye on this. Thanks.

 

[carang]

i say... RELAX! kids in HK change schools all the time... people are always trying to find the newest..the best... the latest and greatest(i'm not saying that this is you, by any means)...it is putting unfair and unnecessary pressure on her if you make her conform to your lie, not to mention what it is teaching her!

there is no problem with changing schools, is it in your child's best interest to change school? yes? then that should be your main concern.

 

[Valencia]

Thanks, Carang. I guess I'll have to face it sooner or later, but my daughter just gave this out too soon, even before the interview. Can anybody teach me how to put it nicely in order to avoid any hard feelings? Her class teacher has been very nice to her, the school is good but doesn't offer a future. I want my child to stay until next July. I'm afraid they'll just ignore her or she'll remind them of the fact she is leaving. Btw, the school does have financial difficulty, losing one student means a lot to them. November is a sensitive month.

 

[carang]

i wish you the best of luck!

 

[Seb's Dad]

hi valencia

you are a parent looking out for your child's best interests. as a FEE paying parent, you definitely have the right to be looking to put your daughter in the school you feel best suits her needs.

that doesn't really address your question regarding "lying". i would not ask your daughter to lie. but i would train her to answer the question with a polite, "why dont you ask my mummy".

just as teacher's leave schools when they are offered a better position, parents have the same right regarding schools.

if the teacher/school does find out, you can very clearly tell them that how your daughter is treated for the remainder of the school year is being closely monitored by you and will be reported back to a number of friends who are also considering that school. i can understand your concern that if they know your daughter is leaving the school, their interest in her could wane. but if the teacher's know you are staying on top of the situation, i think you will find your daughter will be treated well. i think you will also find that teachers are sympathetic, and wanting the best for your child.

you could also note that teachers often are asked by parents which k schools to consider. if your daughter goes in to this new school and is not at the level of her peers, the teachers will have a bad opinion of the teaching methods and preparation used by the school, and be unlikely to recommend it to parents with soon to be k aged children.

this is wayyyy long...please let us know how it turns out.

 

[Valencia]

Thanks, Carang and Seb's dad.

Monday after school, I asked my daughter if her teacher asked her about the interview, she said no. Later that night, I asked her if she told her teacher about the interview, she said yes. So I taught her to name a fictitious school, Springfield Flower (Chun Tin Fa Fa) in the cartoon Mcmug. I hope the teacher won't bring this up to me again. I'm waiting for the result of the interview. Will keep you posted. Many thanks for your advice.

 

[Valencia]

I've got a verbal confirmation of her acceptance by calling the school she applied. I've been waiting for their letter but they said they would not send it so soon. Glad I'd called and put her in am class starting next Feb. If any of you moms are still waiting for results or want to change to am class just call them, otherwise you'll just keep on waiting.

 

[Louiseamanda]

Hello

This thread is very bizarre. I find it odd that you wish to lie to the school and even more odd that you are teaching your daughter to deceive and be secretive.
Perhaps the teacher should not be quizzing your daughter about it, but if she went to an interview, why say she didnt.

'Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive ' springs to mind.
Its not in childrens natural instinct to be dishonest.

I would simply have answered truthfully that she went to an interview (or ignored the question) or explained my own thinking about the matter.
Its not a crime!

 

[Valencia]

Lying is wrong. I didn't expect her teacher to ask, and I want the best for her as long as she stays in that school. There are difficult times we have to choose, and we'll try our best to protect our loved ones. Imagine yourself in these situations, would you admit your plan for leaving before you hand in your resignation letter? Would you give your maid one month's notice when firing her, if your're not on friendly terms? If her school has a long waiting list of students, I wouldn't mind informing them of my child's leaving. When I first posted this thread, there'd been a few child abuse cases by maids around that time. I was just worried about my child, it's weird to inform them so early ahead of her leaving. On the other hand, the school would like to know you have a positive attitude of staying, that you think highly of the school. Lying is wrong, and I'm glad it's all over now.