If you were given a choice.....

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To all the expat ladies who had their babies in HK - would you have preferred to have been in your home country to have your little ones or were you alright being away from family at this time? How did you cope being away from family?
 
I would have liked to have been home for my pregnancy, but mostly because I was completely alone here at the time (and in SZ) - it`s nice to experience these things with your friends and family. As far as giving birth though, I just wanted to have the baby wherever I was living, because that`s where my husband was. If we could have magically gone back to Canada for the whole thing, I would have been really happy to do so, but I knew that was impossible so I didn`t mourn the loss too much.
I just visited home a few months ago and it was awesome and really made me want to live there again with the little one. But it`s not really in the cards now, and after the adjustment period of being back here, it`s all right. At least I don`t live near the in-laws. I think I`d die. So it makes me just want to live in a neutral country forever, hehe.
 
I had both my boys here, and I definatley prefer it that way.
It seems easier here to develop a circle of friends with other pregnant mums, and we still are a great support to each other.
Back home my friends lives are too busy with work to make new friendships once they had children, and a couple of my friends are feeling a bit isolated because of it.

Both our families came up to visit around the time of both births, and it was nice, but it was nice to send them home again too.
 
I agree with Matty. I had my son in HK and enjoyed every minute of it, as I could meet a group of pregnant mums and we all gave birth around the same period. As a result we meet often and all our children know each others, which couldn't be possible in my country, as very few of my friends have kids the same age (if none !). We are a great support to each others, and also there are many more baby friendly places/playgroups/playgrounds/shops than "home".
 
I'm looking forward to giving birth in HK, even though we have no immediate family here. I am very impressed with the medical care here and the hospitals, which was not the case back in the UK. It used to take me forever to get an appointment with the GP on the NHS, and also the hospitals in our area in the UK left quite a bit to be desired.

Plus having just my husband and I in HK, it's been 'just the two of us' on this amazing journey, which has so far been a very special and enjoyable pregnancy (bar the sciatica!!). And being away from the MIL is the icing on the cake!!! In all seriousness, with the advancement of technology (Skype/Facebook etc), both sides of the family have been able to follow the pregnancy and whenever I have any questions, the mothers are only a call away and only all too happy to help.

Can't guarantee how I will feel in October after the little one arrives.....but watch this space!!
 
I was so glad I had my son in HK. I had a pretty rough pregnancy and was happy to have the space away from family to be on my own. As mentioned above the medical care and hospitals in HK were so much better than what we would of had in Australia. And my husband and I enjoyed just the 3 of us for the first 4 months after my son's birth. It was such a special time for us and we cherished every minute. The financial crisis forced us to return to Australia early this year and I'm finding it very tough...as others mentioned its so much easier to meet up with women at the same stage of pregnancy. I feel very isolated and lost at times and often wished we had found a way of staying in HK. While its nice to see family and friends it sometimes gets a bit much as we were overseas for 10 years and used to only seeing them every few years.
 
i had both children here. i didn't particularly want family around for the birth, but i must admit i did miss my mother about 3 or 4 months AFTER the birth. during and immediately following the birth i was too exhausted. i was glad of the space away from family, but once i had fully recovered and was comfortable in my new role, THAT was when the "mum-sickness" set in... i still suffer missing my mum terribly.
 
Thanks to everyone who has replied. It has given me food for thought. My husband and I are sitting down this weekend to discuss whether we head back to Australia (move fully paid for) or risk our chances and stay in HK where I would work and hopefully he would get another job. If we were to stay then the question is if we have kids here too? I can see that I would get 'mum-sickness' like Carang and my Mum would definitely be so sad to have me away from her whilst pregnant. However, Karmah1's comment also makes me think that if we were to move back to Australia, I would want to be back in HK.
 
i wished the pregnancy back home and the baby here... or there, but then i'm really happy i met other moms/babies from geobaby too, otherwise most of my friends are still happily single or haven't yet had babies!

my friends from back home and my mom comes visit me sometimes, so that's great, but i think doctor visits-wise it's much better in hong kong... baby items-wise it's probably cheaper in thailand, but my friends mail me things when i need them so... maybe here, it's just so much more international here and i have a feeling my baby will develop so much faster...
 
I have just had my second child two weeks ago in Hong Kong, and our first was born in Melbourne around 18 months ago. I found both experiences great. For me personally, for my first born, as the whole experience was new, I really appreciated having my parents and family just around the corner for immediate support and comfort, especially through the hard times. However for our second, as I was well aware I wouldn't have my dear family close by, I made sure I surrounded myself with good friends here, especially with some who were also expecting around the same time (use the due dates forums on Geobaby to do this!). For this reason, I don't think I have missed having my family around as much as I expected. We chat almost every day on Skype, and they will come for visits to HK and we will return to Oz regularly too. If you have any specific questions about the comparison between the two countries please feel free to ask/PM me.
 
Karmah1

Why don't you visit your local early childhood centre? We had two members who had returned from their expat stints join our mothersgroup when the bubs were around 4 months. Just ask them for the contact person or email list of the babies born around yours.
My mothersgroup (in Sydney) still meets up and there seems to be new members who have joined along the way through connections with the local early childhood centre in Cremorne.
 
Hi

I had my first baby in HK 18 months ago and due with our second in January. I enjoyed my experience here but did miss having my Mum and sisters being involved. One of my sisters has children and she would have been a world of advice for me. Having said that, Mum came up for the birth and stayed a couple of weeks and we headed home when the baby was 6 weeks old (as I was only on 12 weeks maternity leave so had to rush home for a visit with bubba).

If you want to go back to work (or have to for financial reasons) then having a helper is an amazing benefit for HK. They give you a lot of the support which your family wouldn't give - cleaning and cooking and generally helping out around the house quite apart from the baby care which we did almost exclusively. Was nice to be able to concentrate only on the baby to start with and know we would still be fed and live in a clean house! It depends on how much help you will get from your family too as to whether it would be better to be home or here. I did miss having a year off work as is the legal requirement at home - 12 weeks maternity leave in HK is a joke.

My experience with my OB and with Matilda Hospital was incredible and much better than I would have had at home. The midwives up there are amazing.

HOWEVER, now I am hankering to take my boy home so he can grow up with all the things I had as a child which are more difficult here. Backyard, wide open spaces, a climate which is colder but somehow more condusive to an outdoor childhood (can you see that the pregnant lady is suffering in this heat!!). And to grow up around his family and little cousins. So now, I miss my home and family more than I did when I was pregnant and baby was little.

Hard decision but I have not regretted having our son here or intending to have our next baby here. Agree with one of the posters above, that I did consider whether to go home for the delivery but may not have had my husband there for it and that was the most important part for me.

Good luck

SB2
 
Thanks so much everyone for responding. I am literally trying to get as many opinions as possible to help me make up my mind (convince) as to whether we head home (where there is no job but the move paid for) or stay here (a job for me initially but not for husband as yet). And.... I want to start a family soon - so there is that to think about too...... should we start a family here or there? I miss my family but my husband had a rough upbringing so he does not really think about that so much which really really saddens me.
 
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