M
- Status
M
MLBW
Guest
There are so many good quotes from this article but the "meat" of the article is below, I think plus quotes that I absolutely love at the bottom.
"...An ideal study would randomly divide a group of mothers, tell one half to breast-feed and the other not to, and then measure the outcomes. But researchers cannot ethically tell mothers what to feed their babies. Instead they have to settle for ?observational? studies. These simply look for differences in two populations, one breast-fed and one not. The problem is, breast-fed infants are typically brought up in very different families from those raised on the bottle. In the U.S., breast-feeding is on the rise?69 percent of mothers initiate the practice at the hospital, and 17 percent nurse exclusively for at least six months. But the numbers are much higher among women who are white, older, and educated; a woman who attended college, for instance, is roughly twice as likely to nurse for six months. Researchers try to factor out all these ?confounding variables? that might affect the babies? health and development. But they still can?t know if they?ve missed some critical factor. ?Studies about the benefits of breast-feeding are extremely difficult and complex because of who breast-feeds and who doesn?t,? says Michael Kramer, a highly respected researcher at McGill University. ?There have been claims that it prevents everything?cancer, diabetes. A reasonable person would be cautious about every new amazing discovery.?
The study about obesity I saw in my pediatrician?s office that morning is a good example of the complexity of breast-feeding research?and of the pitfalls it contains. Some studies have found a link between nursing and slimmer kids, but they haven?t proved that one causes the other. This study surveyed 2,685 children between the ages of 3 and 5. After adjusting for race, parental education, maternal smoking, and other factors?all of which are thought to affect a child?s risk of obesity?the study found little correlation between breast-feeding and weight. Instead, the strongest predictor of the child?s weight was the mother?s. Whether obese mothers nursed or used formula, their children were more likely to be heavy. The breast-feeding advocates? dream?that something in the milk somehow reprograms appetite?is still a long shot.
In the past decade, researchers have come up with ever more elaborate ways to tease out the truth. One 2005 paper focused on 523 sibling pairs who were fed differently, and its results put a big question mark over all the previous research. The economists Eirik Evenhouse and Siobhan Reilly compared rates of diabetes, asthma, and allergies; childhood weight; various measures of mother-child bonding; and levels of intelligence. Almost all the differences turned out to be statistically insignificant. For the most part, the ?long-term effects of breast feeding have been overstated,? they wrote.
Nearly all the researchers I talked to pointed me to a series of studies designed by Kramer, published starting in 2001. Kramer followed 17,000 infants born in Belarus throughout their childhoods. He came up with a clever way to randomize his study, at least somewhat, without doing anything unethical. He took mothers who had already started nursing, and then subjected half of them to an intervention strongly encouraging them to nurse exclusively for several months. The intervention worked: many women nursed longer as a result. And extended breast-feeding did reduce the risk of a gastrointestinal infection by 40 percent. This result seems to be consistent with the protection that sIgA provides; in real life, it adds up to about four out of 100 babies having one less incident of diarrhea or vomiting. Kramer also noted some reduction in infant rashes. Otherwise, his studies found very few significant differences: none, for instance, in weight, blood pressure, ear infections, or allergies?some of the most commonly cited benefits in the breast-feeding literature.
Both the Kramer study and the sibling study did turn up one interesting finding: a bump in ?cognitive ability? among breast-fed children. But intelligence is tricky to measure, because it?s subjective and affected by so many factors. Other recent studies, particularly those that have factored out the mother?s IQ, have found no difference at all between breast-fed and formula-fed babies. In Kramer?s study, the mean scores varied widely and mysteriously from clinic to clinic. What?s more, the connection he found ?could be banal,? he told me?simply the result of ?breast-feeding mothers? interacting more with their babies, rather than of anything in the milk.?
The IQ studies run into the central problem of breast-feeding research: it is impossible to separate a mother?s decision to breast-feed?and everything that goes along with it?from the breast-feeding itself. Even sibling studies can?t get around this problem. With her first child, for instance, a mother may be extra cautious, keeping the neighbor?s germy brats away and slapping the nurse who gives out the free formula sample. By her third child, she may no longer breast-feed?giving researchers the sibling comparison that they crave?but many other things may have changed as well. Maybe she is now using day care, exposing the baby to more illnesses. Surely she is not noticing that kid No.2 has the baby?s pacifier in his mouth, or that the cat is sleeping in the crib (trust me on this one). She is also not staring lovingly into the baby?s eyes all day, singing songs, reading book after infant book, because she has to make sure that the other two kids are not drowning each other in the tub. On paper, the three siblings are equivalent, but their experiences are not.
What does all the evidence add up to? We have clear indications that breast-feeding helps prevent an extra incident of gastrointestinal illness in some kids?an unpleasant few days of diarrhea or vomiting, but rarely life-threatening in developed countries. We have murky correlations with a whole bunch of long-term conditions. The evidence on IQs is intriguing but not all that compelling, and at best suggests a small advantage, perhaps five points; an individual kid?s IQ score can vary that much from test to test or day to day. If a child is disadvantaged in other ways, this bump might make a difference. But for the kids in my playground set, the ones whose mothers obsess about breast-feeding, it gets lost in a wash of Baby Einstein videos, piano lessons, and the rest. And in any case, if a breast-feeding mother is miserable, or stressed out, or alienated by nursing, as many women are, if her marriage is under stress and breast-feeding is making things worse, surely that can have a greater effect on a kid?s future success than a few IQ points.
So overall, yes, breast is probably best. But not so much better that formula deserves the label of ?public health menace,? alongside smoking. Given what we know so far, it seems reasonable to put breast-feeding?s health benefits on the plus side of the ledger and other things?modesty, independence, career, sanity?on the minus side, and then tally them up and make a decision. But in this risk-averse age of parenting, that?s not how it?s done....
In 2004, the Department of Health and Human Services launched the National Breastfeeding Awareness Campaign. The ads came out just after my second child was born, and were so odious that they nearly caused me to wean him on the spot. One television ad shows two hugely pregnant women in a logrolling contest, with an audience egging them on. ?You wouldn?t take risks before your baby is born,? reads the caption. ?Why start after?? The screen then flashes: ?Breastfeed exclusively for 6 months.? A second spot shows a pregnant woman?this time African American?riding a mechanical bull in a bar while trying to hold on to her huge belly. She falls off the bull and the crowd moans.
To convey the idea that failing to breast-feed is harmful to a baby?s health, the print ads show ordinary objects arranged to look like breasts: two dandelions (respiratory illness), two scoops of ice cream with cherries on top (obesity), two otoscopes (ear infections). Plans were made to do another ad showing rubber nipples on top of insulin syringes (suggesting that bottle-feeding causes diabetes), but then someone thought better of it. The whole campaign is so knowing, so dripping with sexual innuendo and condescension, that it brings to mind nothing so much as an episode of Mad Men, where Don Draper and the boys break out the whiskey at day?s end to toast another victory over the enemy sex.
What?s most amazing is how, 50 years after La Leche League?s founding, ?enlightenment from the laboratory??judgmental and absolutist?has triumphed again. The seventh edition of The Womanly Art, published in 2004, has ballooned to more than 400 pages, and is filled with photographs in place of the original hand drawings. But what?s most noticeable is the shift in attitude. Each edition of the book contains new expert testimony about breast milk as an ?arsenal against illness.? ?The resistance to disease that human milk affords a baby cannot be duplicated in any other way,? the authors scold. The experience of reading the 1958 edition is like talking with your bossy but charming neighbor, who has some motherly advice to share. Reading the latest edition is like being trapped in the office of a doctor who?s haranguing you about the choices you make.
In her critique of the awareness campaign, Joan Wolf, a women?s-studies professor at Texas A&M University, chalks up the overzealous ads to a new ethic of ?total motherhood.? Mothers these days are expected to ?optimize every dimension of children?s lives,? she writes. Choices are often presented as the mother?s selfish desires versus the baby?s needs. As an example, Wolf quotes What to Expect When You?re Expecting, from a section called the ?Best-Odds Diet,? which I remember quite well: ?Every bite counts. You?ve got only nine months of meals and snacks with which to give your baby the best possible start in life ? Before you close your mouth on a forkful of food, consider, ?Is this the best bite I can give my baby?? If it will benefit your baby, chew away. If it?ll only benefit your sweet tooth or appease your appetite put your fork down.? To which any self-respecting pregnant woman should respond:?I am carrying 35 extra pounds and my ankles have swelled to the size of a life raft, and now I would like to eat some coconut-cream pie. So you know what you can do with this damned fork.?
"The debate about breast-feeding takes place without any reference to its actual context in women?s lives. Breast-feeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way this is why, when people say that breast-feeding is ?free,? I want to hit them with a two-by-four. It?s only free if a woman?s time is worth nothing"
"That brings us to the subject of pumping. Explain to your employer that while you?re away from your baby, ?you will need to take breaks throughout the day to pump your milk,? suggest the materials from the awareness campaign. Demand a ?clean, quiet place? to pump, and a place to store the milk. A clean, quiet place. So peaceful, so spa-like. Leave aside the preposterousness of this advice if you are, say, a waitress or a bus driver. Say you are a newspaper reporter, like I used to be, and deadline is approaching. Your choices are (a) leave your story to go down to the dingy nurse?s office and relieve yourself; or (b) grow increasingly panicked and sweaty as your body continues on its merry, milk-factory way, even though the plant shouldn?t be operating today and the pump is about to explode. And then one day, the inevitable will happen. You will be talking to a male colleague and saying to yourself, ?Don?t think of the baby. Please don?t think of the baby.? And then the pump will explode, and the stigmata will spread down your shirt as you rush into the ladies? room."
"Breast-feeding does not belong in the realm of facts and hard numbers; it is much too intimate and elemental. It contains all of my awe about motherhood, and also my ambivalence."
"...An ideal study would randomly divide a group of mothers, tell one half to breast-feed and the other not to, and then measure the outcomes. But researchers cannot ethically tell mothers what to feed their babies. Instead they have to settle for ?observational? studies. These simply look for differences in two populations, one breast-fed and one not. The problem is, breast-fed infants are typically brought up in very different families from those raised on the bottle. In the U.S., breast-feeding is on the rise?69 percent of mothers initiate the practice at the hospital, and 17 percent nurse exclusively for at least six months. But the numbers are much higher among women who are white, older, and educated; a woman who attended college, for instance, is roughly twice as likely to nurse for six months. Researchers try to factor out all these ?confounding variables? that might affect the babies? health and development. But they still can?t know if they?ve missed some critical factor. ?Studies about the benefits of breast-feeding are extremely difficult and complex because of who breast-feeds and who doesn?t,? says Michael Kramer, a highly respected researcher at McGill University. ?There have been claims that it prevents everything?cancer, diabetes. A reasonable person would be cautious about every new amazing discovery.?
The study about obesity I saw in my pediatrician?s office that morning is a good example of the complexity of breast-feeding research?and of the pitfalls it contains. Some studies have found a link between nursing and slimmer kids, but they haven?t proved that one causes the other. This study surveyed 2,685 children between the ages of 3 and 5. After adjusting for race, parental education, maternal smoking, and other factors?all of which are thought to affect a child?s risk of obesity?the study found little correlation between breast-feeding and weight. Instead, the strongest predictor of the child?s weight was the mother?s. Whether obese mothers nursed or used formula, their children were more likely to be heavy. The breast-feeding advocates? dream?that something in the milk somehow reprograms appetite?is still a long shot.
In the past decade, researchers have come up with ever more elaborate ways to tease out the truth. One 2005 paper focused on 523 sibling pairs who were fed differently, and its results put a big question mark over all the previous research. The economists Eirik Evenhouse and Siobhan Reilly compared rates of diabetes, asthma, and allergies; childhood weight; various measures of mother-child bonding; and levels of intelligence. Almost all the differences turned out to be statistically insignificant. For the most part, the ?long-term effects of breast feeding have been overstated,? they wrote.
Nearly all the researchers I talked to pointed me to a series of studies designed by Kramer, published starting in 2001. Kramer followed 17,000 infants born in Belarus throughout their childhoods. He came up with a clever way to randomize his study, at least somewhat, without doing anything unethical. He took mothers who had already started nursing, and then subjected half of them to an intervention strongly encouraging them to nurse exclusively for several months. The intervention worked: many women nursed longer as a result. And extended breast-feeding did reduce the risk of a gastrointestinal infection by 40 percent. This result seems to be consistent with the protection that sIgA provides; in real life, it adds up to about four out of 100 babies having one less incident of diarrhea or vomiting. Kramer also noted some reduction in infant rashes. Otherwise, his studies found very few significant differences: none, for instance, in weight, blood pressure, ear infections, or allergies?some of the most commonly cited benefits in the breast-feeding literature.
Both the Kramer study and the sibling study did turn up one interesting finding: a bump in ?cognitive ability? among breast-fed children. But intelligence is tricky to measure, because it?s subjective and affected by so many factors. Other recent studies, particularly those that have factored out the mother?s IQ, have found no difference at all between breast-fed and formula-fed babies. In Kramer?s study, the mean scores varied widely and mysteriously from clinic to clinic. What?s more, the connection he found ?could be banal,? he told me?simply the result of ?breast-feeding mothers? interacting more with their babies, rather than of anything in the milk.?
The IQ studies run into the central problem of breast-feeding research: it is impossible to separate a mother?s decision to breast-feed?and everything that goes along with it?from the breast-feeding itself. Even sibling studies can?t get around this problem. With her first child, for instance, a mother may be extra cautious, keeping the neighbor?s germy brats away and slapping the nurse who gives out the free formula sample. By her third child, she may no longer breast-feed?giving researchers the sibling comparison that they crave?but many other things may have changed as well. Maybe she is now using day care, exposing the baby to more illnesses. Surely she is not noticing that kid No.2 has the baby?s pacifier in his mouth, or that the cat is sleeping in the crib (trust me on this one). She is also not staring lovingly into the baby?s eyes all day, singing songs, reading book after infant book, because she has to make sure that the other two kids are not drowning each other in the tub. On paper, the three siblings are equivalent, but their experiences are not.
What does all the evidence add up to? We have clear indications that breast-feeding helps prevent an extra incident of gastrointestinal illness in some kids?an unpleasant few days of diarrhea or vomiting, but rarely life-threatening in developed countries. We have murky correlations with a whole bunch of long-term conditions. The evidence on IQs is intriguing but not all that compelling, and at best suggests a small advantage, perhaps five points; an individual kid?s IQ score can vary that much from test to test or day to day. If a child is disadvantaged in other ways, this bump might make a difference. But for the kids in my playground set, the ones whose mothers obsess about breast-feeding, it gets lost in a wash of Baby Einstein videos, piano lessons, and the rest. And in any case, if a breast-feeding mother is miserable, or stressed out, or alienated by nursing, as many women are, if her marriage is under stress and breast-feeding is making things worse, surely that can have a greater effect on a kid?s future success than a few IQ points.
So overall, yes, breast is probably best. But not so much better that formula deserves the label of ?public health menace,? alongside smoking. Given what we know so far, it seems reasonable to put breast-feeding?s health benefits on the plus side of the ledger and other things?modesty, independence, career, sanity?on the minus side, and then tally them up and make a decision. But in this risk-averse age of parenting, that?s not how it?s done....
In 2004, the Department of Health and Human Services launched the National Breastfeeding Awareness Campaign. The ads came out just after my second child was born, and were so odious that they nearly caused me to wean him on the spot. One television ad shows two hugely pregnant women in a logrolling contest, with an audience egging them on. ?You wouldn?t take risks before your baby is born,? reads the caption. ?Why start after?? The screen then flashes: ?Breastfeed exclusively for 6 months.? A second spot shows a pregnant woman?this time African American?riding a mechanical bull in a bar while trying to hold on to her huge belly. She falls off the bull and the crowd moans.
To convey the idea that failing to breast-feed is harmful to a baby?s health, the print ads show ordinary objects arranged to look like breasts: two dandelions (respiratory illness), two scoops of ice cream with cherries on top (obesity), two otoscopes (ear infections). Plans were made to do another ad showing rubber nipples on top of insulin syringes (suggesting that bottle-feeding causes diabetes), but then someone thought better of it. The whole campaign is so knowing, so dripping with sexual innuendo and condescension, that it brings to mind nothing so much as an episode of Mad Men, where Don Draper and the boys break out the whiskey at day?s end to toast another victory over the enemy sex.
What?s most amazing is how, 50 years after La Leche League?s founding, ?enlightenment from the laboratory??judgmental and absolutist?has triumphed again. The seventh edition of The Womanly Art, published in 2004, has ballooned to more than 400 pages, and is filled with photographs in place of the original hand drawings. But what?s most noticeable is the shift in attitude. Each edition of the book contains new expert testimony about breast milk as an ?arsenal against illness.? ?The resistance to disease that human milk affords a baby cannot be duplicated in any other way,? the authors scold. The experience of reading the 1958 edition is like talking with your bossy but charming neighbor, who has some motherly advice to share. Reading the latest edition is like being trapped in the office of a doctor who?s haranguing you about the choices you make.
In her critique of the awareness campaign, Joan Wolf, a women?s-studies professor at Texas A&M University, chalks up the overzealous ads to a new ethic of ?total motherhood.? Mothers these days are expected to ?optimize every dimension of children?s lives,? she writes. Choices are often presented as the mother?s selfish desires versus the baby?s needs. As an example, Wolf quotes What to Expect When You?re Expecting, from a section called the ?Best-Odds Diet,? which I remember quite well: ?Every bite counts. You?ve got only nine months of meals and snacks with which to give your baby the best possible start in life ? Before you close your mouth on a forkful of food, consider, ?Is this the best bite I can give my baby?? If it will benefit your baby, chew away. If it?ll only benefit your sweet tooth or appease your appetite put your fork down.? To which any self-respecting pregnant woman should respond:?I am carrying 35 extra pounds and my ankles have swelled to the size of a life raft, and now I would like to eat some coconut-cream pie. So you know what you can do with this damned fork.?
"The debate about breast-feeding takes place without any reference to its actual context in women?s lives. Breast-feeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way this is why, when people say that breast-feeding is ?free,? I want to hit them with a two-by-four. It?s only free if a woman?s time is worth nothing"
"That brings us to the subject of pumping. Explain to your employer that while you?re away from your baby, ?you will need to take breaks throughout the day to pump your milk,? suggest the materials from the awareness campaign. Demand a ?clean, quiet place? to pump, and a place to store the milk. A clean, quiet place. So peaceful, so spa-like. Leave aside the preposterousness of this advice if you are, say, a waitress or a bus driver. Say you are a newspaper reporter, like I used to be, and deadline is approaching. Your choices are (a) leave your story to go down to the dingy nurse?s office and relieve yourself; or (b) grow increasingly panicked and sweaty as your body continues on its merry, milk-factory way, even though the plant shouldn?t be operating today and the pump is about to explode. And then one day, the inevitable will happen. You will be talking to a male colleague and saying to yourself, ?Don?t think of the baby. Please don?t think of the baby.? And then the pump will explode, and the stigmata will spread down your shirt as you rush into the ladies? room."
"Breast-feeding does not belong in the realm of facts and hard numbers; it is much too intimate and elemental. It contains all of my awe about motherhood, and also my ambivalence."
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If you must work and rely on formula, fine. And your baby will be just fine too.
Yet to state that a woman who can stay at home with her child and breastfeed for the first 6 months, and assert that her "time is worth nothing" is downright insulting. If we're going to look at it that way, then I'm sorry, maternal instinct tells me being with your child in the early months far outweighs your career for the time being unless you NEED the money.
It's equally unfair to imply mothers who work are bad moms. That's nonsense.
Breastfeeding appeals to me because it's a natural process. Your body is able to nourish your child and that's a beautiful thing. I have never been won over by the arguments that say it will make my baby smarter, thinner, etc. These claims, I believe, should be taken with a grain of salt.
I also don't believe babies need Baby Einstein books or the like to be stimulated or smart.
Breastfeeding, like birth, is a personal affair. Your child, your body, your business.
Yet to state that a woman who can stay at home with her child and breastfeed for the first 6 months, and assert that her "time is worth nothing" is downright insulting. If we're going to look at it that way, then I'm sorry, maternal instinct tells me being with your child in the early months far outweighs your career for the time being unless you NEED the money.
It's equally unfair to imply mothers who work are bad moms. That's nonsense.
Breastfeeding appeals to me because it's a natural process. Your body is able to nourish your child and that's a beautiful thing. I have never been won over by the arguments that say it will make my baby smarter, thinner, etc. These claims, I believe, should be taken with a grain of salt.
I also don't believe babies need Baby Einstein books or the like to be stimulated or smart.
Breastfeeding, like birth, is a personal affair. Your child, your body, your business.
I don't think that this descibes the HK Mum scene at all.
I've found that formula feeding is much more accepted here than it is in Australia. Even amoungst expats.
I know of a friend who was the only non BFing mum in a babygroup in Sydney, and she was made to feel so uncomfotable she never went back.
I Formula fed one of my sons and BF the other, and was never judged for either.
I've found that formula feeding is much more accepted here than it is in Australia. Even amoungst expats.
I know of a friend who was the only non BFing mum in a babygroup in Sydney, and she was made to feel so uncomfotable she never went back.
I Formula fed one of my sons and BF the other, and was never judged for either.
M
MLBW
Guest
You totally misread what that woman was saying. She was saying that proponents of exclusive breastfeeding often tout it as a "free" source of nutrition for your baby which is really misleading. To say that it is "free" means you are saying that the extraordinary amount of time that women must commit to breastfeeding is worth nothing. So, it is misleading to tell women that one of the pluses is that breastfeeding is "free." It's not. It costs women their time, energy, patience and often times their comfort. It's not saying that womens' time is worthless--just the opposite. So instead of being insulted, go back and read what she is actually saying.
"maternal instinct tells me being with your child in the early months far outweighs your career for the time being unless you NEED the money. "
-maybe YOUR maternal instincts but it's not necessarily true across the board. Some women need to work for other reasons apart from just the monetary aspect. For some women (and probably more than are willing to admit to such a not politically correct thing) it is healthy on a mental and emotional level for them to be employed outside the home so that when they return home to be with their child they can be an even better mother. It's quantity of time versus quality of time for some women (i.e. me).
I totally agree with your last statement that it's a personal affair--and that's why I really can't stand the pervasive culture that pushes breastfeeding (the article mentions Health and Human Services ads that really paint women who don't want to breastfeed as doing their children a disservice--and it's simply not true--this is a PA campaign supported with taxpayer money!)
I hate having it rammed down my throat at every turn--whether openly or indirectly and I am so happy to read that pretty much all the popular media that hypes breastfeeding is well...hype...inconclusive research.
M
MLBW
Guest
Well, maybe you've seen a different side to the scene here that I haven't. I guess I must be running in the "wrong circles" because a vast number of expats on this site are big time into LLL and all that jazz.
But in the local culture here, definitely formula is more popular and I guess I'm thankful that I'm here and not in the States where you get glares if you mix up some formula as if it were stricnine that you were about to feed your baby.
But, the first paragraphs DO describe a lot of the other tendencies I see here--moms sizing each other up based on the amount of "non-toxic, high-quality wooden toys" in their toy stash or the sleekness of their designer stroller or the brand of shoes their baby is wearing as well as what organic food brand the other uses or if they use organic at all. It's kind of funny to me.
M
MLBW
Guest
Well said. I think that expectant mothers should be warned that it is hard work and time consuming and that it's not a big deal if it doesn't work out. I was fed this entire gospel of "Breast is Best, Breast is Best, Breast is Best" for the entire time I was pregnant that upplayed all the (inconclusive--as the article points out) evidence of how great breastfeeding is and what the real-life advantages for your baby are (which are also hyped by proponents)--even by the trusted medical establishment. But reality begs to differ and I'm glad that this article pointed some of those things out.
Shenzhennifer
Registered User
Very interesting discussion indeed. I read the first page of the article and then skimmed your post MLBW and I get the gist of it all (sorry short on time, must BF soon
)- but one thing that strikes me, and this can be said of anything. It`s subjective, everything is. The article is a personal commentary. the author went out of her way, and then some, to find the answers she was kind of hoping to find. For all research, there is counter research. Experiments are done, theories formed, then the next day another refutes it and sets out to prove it. So, you can easily find the other side to any story if you are willing to look. And considering the author was a slave to BF, it`s amazing she had the time to do all this investigating, hehe
For me, as you already know, I support BFing. Not bc it`s cool or hip or whatever. I wasn`t BF, 100% formula, and look how I turned out! But for my baby, I really wanted to do it. I admit it, the *free* argument really rings true with me. I don`t have to buy expensive cans of formula all the time, bottles, this nipple, that nipple bc baby rejects it. I have *free* time more than if I were bottle feeding - I don`t have to worry about washing and sterilising bottles all the time, heating them up, etc. And in the middle of the night? I don`t want to heat up a bottle. I just plop bubs on and that`s it. So my precious time is being preserved from the convenience of BFing.
Sure, it ties me down a bit. But in the end, it`s a small price to pay for me.
I have heard horror stories of people being told off in HK for BFing in public. I haven`t experienced that yet. I am almost waiting for that day, bc then they will have an eyeful of breastmilk.
Having said that, when I BF in public, I actually feel a bit ghetto, like I`m some poor mom who can`t afford to feed her baby. It`s funny how that perception came about. And it probably makes me a bit more defensive about it. Hence, the eyeful of BM.
I think it`s wonderful that all my baby needs for now comes right from my body. It wasn`t easy, it`s one of the hardest things to do for your baby after it`s born and you have to be really committed to be successful (unless your baby`s a natural like some boast). Until now there are still little problems with our feeding sometimes, but we get through it. And when it is no longer a viable option, or it`s time to move on, then I will do so.
I don`t have the experience of being in Canada with my baby (yet - next month I will), so I don`t know what people`s reactions will be to my public BFing. but I don`t see what the big deal is - just put a scarf over yourself, and you can`t see anything.
I think it`s a bit disappointing here though, to see how much formula feeding is pushed in the hospitals and by doctors. They GIVE you free formula when you leave the hospital. Many nurses and midwives are not so supportive or knowledgeable about it after your baby is born. And when the going gets tough, which it inevitably often does, then new mothers don`t feel confident and supported to continue. My own husband told me to give the baby formula on more than one occasion, despite my telling him how much BFing was important to me; my MIL rocked up with 3 packs of `superior` Japanese formula when she came to visit - they are still sitting in the cupboard, unopened.
Also, when I BF in public, I actually feel a bit ghetto, like I`m some poor mom who can`t afford to feed her baby. It`s funny how that perception came about.
Anyway, to sum up:
-interesting topic
-any research is easily refutable with the means
-I like breastfeeding
)- but one thing that strikes me, and this can be said of anything. It`s subjective, everything is. The article is a personal commentary. the author went out of her way, and then some, to find the answers she was kind of hoping to find. For all research, there is counter research. Experiments are done, theories formed, then the next day another refutes it and sets out to prove it. So, you can easily find the other side to any story if you are willing to look. And considering the author was a slave to BF, it`s amazing she had the time to do all this investigating, heheFor me, as you already know, I support BFing. Not bc it`s cool or hip or whatever. I wasn`t BF, 100% formula, and look how I turned out! But for my baby, I really wanted to do it. I admit it, the *free* argument really rings true with me. I don`t have to buy expensive cans of formula all the time, bottles, this nipple, that nipple bc baby rejects it. I have *free* time more than if I were bottle feeding - I don`t have to worry about washing and sterilising bottles all the time, heating them up, etc. And in the middle of the night? I don`t want to heat up a bottle. I just plop bubs on and that`s it. So my precious time is being preserved from the convenience of BFing.
Sure, it ties me down a bit. But in the end, it`s a small price to pay for me.
I have heard horror stories of people being told off in HK for BFing in public. I haven`t experienced that yet. I am almost waiting for that day, bc then they will have an eyeful of breastmilk.
Having said that, when I BF in public, I actually feel a bit ghetto, like I`m some poor mom who can`t afford to feed her baby. It`s funny how that perception came about. And it probably makes me a bit more defensive about it. Hence, the eyeful of BM.
I think it`s wonderful that all my baby needs for now comes right from my body. It wasn`t easy, it`s one of the hardest things to do for your baby after it`s born and you have to be really committed to be successful (unless your baby`s a natural like some boast). Until now there are still little problems with our feeding sometimes, but we get through it. And when it is no longer a viable option, or it`s time to move on, then I will do so.
I don`t have the experience of being in Canada with my baby (yet - next month I will), so I don`t know what people`s reactions will be to my public BFing. but I don`t see what the big deal is - just put a scarf over yourself, and you can`t see anything.
I think it`s a bit disappointing here though, to see how much formula feeding is pushed in the hospitals and by doctors. They GIVE you free formula when you leave the hospital. Many nurses and midwives are not so supportive or knowledgeable about it after your baby is born. And when the going gets tough, which it inevitably often does, then new mothers don`t feel confident and supported to continue. My own husband told me to give the baby formula on more than one occasion, despite my telling him how much BFing was important to me; my MIL rocked up with 3 packs of `superior` Japanese formula when she came to visit - they are still sitting in the cupboard, unopened.
Also, when I BF in public, I actually feel a bit ghetto, like I`m some poor mom who can`t afford to feed her baby. It`s funny how that perception came about.
Anyway, to sum up:
-interesting topic
-any research is easily refutable with the means
-I like breastfeeding
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I agree, it doesn't describe the HK expat scene at all. In my group, there is an equal number of BF and formula fed. No eyebrows raised. Good post, Shenzhennifer. Right now, I am struggling to introduce formula and I have as much support with that as I had when I was struggling with numerous problems with breast feeding. I wonder on some level you are seeking comfort for having been made to feel guilty, MLBW. Hope you are not putting pressure on yourself and if not then, forget those who made you feel so.
I find it amazing why this debate is even out there- only in rich countries I suppose. Once we swing one way(looking down upon BF) then the other (looking down upon formula). Atleast in India I found, BF is without fanfare and so was formula feeding and I was really glad for it.
I find it amazing why this debate is even out there- only in rich countries I suppose. Once we swing one way(looking down upon BF) then the other (looking down upon formula). Atleast in India I found, BF is without fanfare and so was formula feeding and I was really glad for it.
I only read part of the article but I have got the gist of it from the summary.
I have pondered over the BF topic when trying to decide what which way of feeding I would choose.
From reading threads on choosing hospital, I feel that most of expact mums opt for BFing and complaining about how some hospital in Hongkong not be supportive of it.
Subjectively, I thought I was make to feel I wasn't not considerate enough to think of BF issue when recommending the hospital I go without including how convenient is for mothers to BF there.
But like many of you said, I think Bfing is to do with mother's personal choice. Either way the mother chooses, it should not be regarded as less a mother.
My sister and I were all breastfed by my mother. My mother worked full time and my grandmother helped to take care of us. But my mother now is suggesting strongly that I would formula feed my baby who is due in June. She said she breastfed us because she had no other choice. And she felt quite unwell during the whole time of breast feeding. In the old days in Mainland China, there wasn't milk formula available. (Today's worried is that formula available here is not safe for babies) She thinks formula feeding first help the mother to nurse back her health sooner after delivery (can eat things that is good for health but no worried about affecting the milk and can have a good night sleep when there is a helper). Of course, mothers are not tied up to the child feeding formula.
I guess in the Guangdong in general, people are not biased against either way. But I rarely see mothers Bf in public. I figure it's not very acceptable to do so.
Most relatives in my family choose formula feed although many of the mothers do work full time. (making trips to get formulas in HongKong like many Mainlanders do).
Being a first time mum, naturally, I choose breastfeeding to see how it would work out for me. But I wouldn't fell guilty if I have to bring in formula later.
I have pondered over the BF topic when trying to decide what which way of feeding I would choose.
From reading threads on choosing hospital, I feel that most of expact mums opt for BFing and complaining about how some hospital in Hongkong not be supportive of it.
Subjectively, I thought I was make to feel I wasn't not considerate enough to think of BF issue when recommending the hospital I go without including how convenient is for mothers to BF there.
But like many of you said, I think Bfing is to do with mother's personal choice. Either way the mother chooses, it should not be regarded as less a mother.
My sister and I were all breastfed by my mother. My mother worked full time and my grandmother helped to take care of us. But my mother now is suggesting strongly that I would formula feed my baby who is due in June. She said she breastfed us because she had no other choice. And she felt quite unwell during the whole time of breast feeding. In the old days in Mainland China, there wasn't milk formula available. (Today's worried is that formula available here is not safe for babies) She thinks formula feeding first help the mother to nurse back her health sooner after delivery (can eat things that is good for health but no worried about affecting the milk and can have a good night sleep when there is a helper). Of course, mothers are not tied up to the child feeding formula.
I guess in the Guangdong in general, people are not biased against either way. But I rarely see mothers Bf in public. I figure it's not very acceptable to do so.
Most relatives in my family choose formula feed although many of the mothers do work full time. (making trips to get formulas in HongKong like many Mainlanders do).
Being a first time mum, naturally, I choose breastfeeding to see how it would work out for me. But I wouldn't fell guilty if I have to bring in formula later.
Let's Stop the Guilt!
I think that the writer of the article feels the need to vent because she wasn't big enough to stand up to people who made her feel bad about not wanting to breastfeed. If she really hated breastfeeding she should have just stopped it! That is a much better option than resenting her baby.
We mums are made to feel so guilty about the choices we make. It's about time that we learned to stand up for ourselves and stop feeling guilty. As long as we are happy that the decisions we have made are in the best interests of our family unit (i.e. the baby, the baby's siblings, mum and dad) then it shouldn't matter what other people think!
The guilt response comes into play in all sorts of circumstances - i.e. whether mum chooses to have a c-section, whether mum chooses pain relief at the birth, whether the baby is fed organic food, plastic or glass bottles etc etc.
At the moment I am 33 weeks pregnant and getting a lot of guilt trips from my work colleagues. i.e. they literally gasped in shock that I had a cup of Chinese tea at a lunch banquet (the caffeine!!!!), that I drink cold drinks, that I eat bananas (!!), and that I wear either high heels or flats (apparently I should only wear a certain specified heel height - no higher, no lower) and that I am working (3 days per week in a job that requires no physical labour!).
Any sensible person knows that if we followed every little comment made by the "guilt inducers" we would put ourselves on bed rest as soon as we got pregant, breastfeed our babies until they were three, never leave baby with our trusted helper so we can get a sleep in, never "force" our husbands to resettle them at night when we are tired, feed them only vegetables that we had organically grown ourselves and meat that we had personally watched being slaughtered, keep them away from playgroups to avoid colds, wash all of their clothes by hand in special washing power, never let them crawl except on a floor that we had personally disinfected, never let them watch TV (autism!!), never return to a career we might really enjoy...the list could go on and on. As MLBW says "reality begs to differ". I really think that this culture of "total parenting" that is so pervasive in the popular media is really wrong and, in part, contributes to post natal depression because mothers feel that, whatever they do, it isn't enough.
For the record, I chose to breastfeed my baby. I was heavily influenced by the World Health Organisation guidelines that recommend breastfeeding for at least 6 months. As one of the other posters said it is a great feeling to watch your baby grow and know that you are producing all that they need be healthy. Close friends of mine formula fed and their babies are just as happy and healthy as mine - it's a personal choice.
I think that the writer of the article feels the need to vent because she wasn't big enough to stand up to people who made her feel bad about not wanting to breastfeed. If she really hated breastfeeding she should have just stopped it! That is a much better option than resenting her baby.
We mums are made to feel so guilty about the choices we make. It's about time that we learned to stand up for ourselves and stop feeling guilty. As long as we are happy that the decisions we have made are in the best interests of our family unit (i.e. the baby, the baby's siblings, mum and dad) then it shouldn't matter what other people think!
The guilt response comes into play in all sorts of circumstances - i.e. whether mum chooses to have a c-section, whether mum chooses pain relief at the birth, whether the baby is fed organic food, plastic or glass bottles etc etc.
At the moment I am 33 weeks pregnant and getting a lot of guilt trips from my work colleagues. i.e. they literally gasped in shock that I had a cup of Chinese tea at a lunch banquet (the caffeine!!!!), that I drink cold drinks, that I eat bananas (!!), and that I wear either high heels or flats (apparently I should only wear a certain specified heel height - no higher, no lower) and that I am working (3 days per week in a job that requires no physical labour!).
Any sensible person knows that if we followed every little comment made by the "guilt inducers" we would put ourselves on bed rest as soon as we got pregant, breastfeed our babies until they were three, never leave baby with our trusted helper so we can get a sleep in, never "force" our husbands to resettle them at night when we are tired, feed them only vegetables that we had organically grown ourselves and meat that we had personally watched being slaughtered, keep them away from playgroups to avoid colds, wash all of their clothes by hand in special washing power, never let them crawl except on a floor that we had personally disinfected, never let them watch TV (autism!!), never return to a career we might really enjoy...the list could go on and on. As MLBW says "reality begs to differ". I really think that this culture of "total parenting" that is so pervasive in the popular media is really wrong and, in part, contributes to post natal depression because mothers feel that, whatever they do, it isn't enough.
For the record, I chose to breastfeed my baby. I was heavily influenced by the World Health Organisation guidelines that recommend breastfeeding for at least 6 months. As one of the other posters said it is a great feeling to watch your baby grow and know that you are producing all that they need be healthy. Close friends of mine formula fed and their babies are just as happy and healthy as mine - it's a personal choice.
...and sometimes it isn't a personal choice.
my triplets were born at 26w at queen mary hospital. i didn't hold them until they were one month old, and despite papaya fish soup, several types of lactation teas, massages, warm cloths, when just pumping my supply (never great, i also have pcos) dwindled away at around 6 weeks. probably the stress.
i would have loved to have breastfed them for longer.
many people were extremely kind, but even then, there were those who suggested or right out stated that the babies might have come home sooner if i had managed to "stick it out". or the classic comment, "and they need every iq point they can get, what with being so early and all!"
it wasn't a hong kong "thing" though. i got similar comments from north american and hk friends.
vent, sad memory and guilt...over.
my triplets were born at 26w at queen mary hospital. i didn't hold them until they were one month old, and despite papaya fish soup, several types of lactation teas, massages, warm cloths, when just pumping my supply (never great, i also have pcos) dwindled away at around 6 weeks. probably the stress.
i would have loved to have breastfed them for longer.
many people were extremely kind, but even then, there were those who suggested or right out stated that the babies might have come home sooner if i had managed to "stick it out". or the classic comment, "and they need every iq point they can get, what with being so early and all!"
it wasn't a hong kong "thing" though. i got similar comments from north american and hk friends.
vent, sad memory and guilt...over.
M
MLBW
Guest
Thanks for your comments.
Suv, I did note in an earlier response that the first paragraphs do describe the scene here (what I've been exposed to) to some extent as the comparisons that go on (toys and strollers etc.)--go back and take a look if you like.
I find it strange that there are numerous posts on this site proclaiming all the health benefits (which have not been proven and have inconclusive findings backing them up) of BFing and people will go on and on about how great it is (and for them it is--but that could just be placebo effect--something is good because you believe it is) but I post one lone article bringing up the contrary argument and it is a big "no no."
If you read the article it is only saying to examine the evidence and not believe the hype and don't feel so proud that you're breastfeeding as if it were the cure all for everything (or like you really missed out--as someone mentioned they felt they had because they couldn't breastfeed longer--because you bottle fed) because it's not--but there are many examples of people speaking as if it were--I could find hundreds on this site alone. It's just saying "What does the research REALLY say?" Not "How has the research been spun to fit a particular sets beliefs?"
Actually, this article was very vindicating for me because I really get tired of the breastfeeding culture that surrounds me (where I'm from) and how "into" it the ladies who do it are (it's kinda cultish in some cases)--they have a club that they go to that is totally based around breastfeeding. There aren't any clubs based around bottle feeding. It's just kinda this exalted practice that doesn't need to be that way--and with some people it approaches a religious fervor. I heard it referred to once as being "Lactivists."
So, naturally breastfeeding women throw out the concessionary "Don't feel guilty if you can't breastfeed" (note that they say "can't breastfeed" usually not "don't like breastfeeding" or "will not breastfeed" or "choose to formula feed" and the tone of that is "Anyone in their right mind would want to breastfeed if they could.") But all the other conversation that surrounds it is so absorbed and focused on breastfeeding that how can you NOT feel out of place and guilty when all the popularly published information on breastfeeding (not the full studies that tell you the real facts without spin) really does laud it as this overwhelmingly better alternative to bottle feeding. And the published material, as the article points out, by LLL etc. has gotten even more "in-your-face" over the years.
So, as I was saying, yes, this article was vindicating for me--for the stuff I've had to listen to and be surrounded by--both here and at home. I don't mind having a different opinion than other women ever and I don't need an article to post my opinion (I'm not afraid if you don't like me, actually--just another odd quirk about me--I'd rather be real and not liked than fake and liked, y'know?) and this article nicely supports my case--the only one I've ever read that does because well, popular media lauds breastfeeding right now.
And the reason why I posted it is because I'm guessing I'm not the only one on this site who would gain some information from it. I am officially done with any type of guilt trip or even caring that I bottle fed my baby because it's equal to breastfeeding him and not just in my eyes. This is very liberating.
M
MLBW
Guest
Very interesting discussion indeed. I read the first page of the article and then skimmed your post MLBW and I get the gist of it all (sorry short on time, must BF soon
For me, as you already know, I support BFing. Not bc it`s cool or hip or whatever. I wasn`t BF, 100% formula, and look how I turned out! But for my baby, I really wanted to do it. I admit it, the *free* argument really rings true with me. I don`t have to buy expensive cans of formula all the time, bottles, this nipple, that nipple bc baby rejects it. I have *free* time more than if I were bottle feeding - I don`t have to worry about washing and sterilising bottles all the time, heating them up, etc. And in the middle of the night? I don`t want to heat up a bottle. I just plop bubs on and that`s it. So my precious time is being preserved from the convenience of BFing.
Sure, it ties me down a bit. But in the end, it`s a small price to pay for me.
I have heard horror stories of people being told off in HK for BFing in public. I haven`t experienced that yet. I am almost waiting for that day, bc then they will have an eyeful of breastmilk.
Having said that, when I BF in public, I actually feel a bit ghetto, like I`m some poor mom who can`t afford to feed her baby. It`s funny how that perception came about. And it probably makes me a bit more defensive about it. Hence, the eyeful of BM.
I think it`s wonderful that all my baby needs for now comes right from my body. It wasn`t easy, it`s one of the hardest things to do for your baby after it`s born and you have to be really committed to be successful (unless your baby`s a natural like some boast). Until now there are still little problems with our feeding sometimes, but we get through it. And when it is no longer a viable option, or it`s time to move on, then I will do so.
I don`t have the experience of being in Canada with my baby (yet - next month I will), so I don`t know what people`s reactions will be to my public BFing. but I don`t see what the big deal is - just put a scarf over yourself, and you can`t see anything.
I think it`s a bit disappointing here though, to see how much formula feeding is pushed in the hospitals and by doctors. They GIVE you free formula when you leave the hospital. Many nurses and midwives are not so supportive or knowledgeable about it after your baby is born. And when the going gets tough, which it inevitably often does, then new mothers don`t feel confident and supported to continue. My own husband told me to give the baby formula on more than one occasion, despite my telling him how much BFing was important to me; my MIL rocked up with 3 packs of `superior` Japanese formula when she came to visit - they are still sitting in the cupboard, unopened.
Also, when I BF in public, I actually feel a bit ghetto, like I`m some poor mom who can`t afford to feed her baby. It`s funny how that perception came about.
Anyway, to sum up:
-interesting topic
-any research is easily refutable with the means
-I like breastfeeding
Just one comment:
Of course research is subjective--especially breastfeeding research for the reasons outlined in the article. And that is EXACTLY what the author was saying. The research concerning the benefits etc. of breastfeeding have sort of been "hijacked" by those who are bound and determined to promote it. This is the first article that gave the other side of the story that I have ever read--which makes it remarkable as I have read a to on breastfeeding before baby and then during "the time of breastfeedng tribulation" as I refer to it as.
The lady didn't use the research to say that breastfeeding is less superior than bottle feeding (as BFing advocates do concerning bottle feeding)--she simply stated the evidence--when viewed in an overall fashion is inconclusive and the points where it draws a clear conclusion the health benefits aren't as "staggering" as the LLL books (sorry, but they are the ones I'm familiar with) claim. I mean, one less tiny bout with diahrea (non-harmful--just a case of "the runs") in 1 child in 100 who is breastfed isn't exactly earth shattering. I've heard even LLL leaders talk like breastmilk is equivalent with the fountain of youth--it will cure the blind and raise the dead (not quite that extreme but they o do believe that it can cure eye infections--I'd say a bottle of saline solution would do your eye just as much good).
M
MLBW
Guest
Well said. The article also alluded to almost everything you described in your comments. This article was not about "guilting" mothers (if you do read the article you will quickly see the author is looking at it from both sides of the fence but is giving clout to the bottle feeding group for once--whereas the WHO and CFDC push breastfeeding) but about liberating them from spin on information that sends the message as you said, "it's never enough."
You are serious?? A club? Jesus christ! Do Lactivists exist only in certain section of societies? I find it funny because similarly, I encountered veganism in America in 1998 in Berkeley.
Good for you for being done with the guilt! that itself is liberating!
MLBW: You could always start a bottle feeding club if you feel that strongly... it's good you can vent on this forum as it doesnt actually sound like you are that 'over' your choice if you are looking for vindication in a single piece of research with subjective findings to feel liberated.
BF should be a personal choice, my first baby was a mix for the first 6 months then moved wholly onto formula. my second is exclusively BF now, but I'll probably move to formula for reasons of convenience when I feel like it (and won't feel bad or guilty at all).
I would say there are more formula fed babies amongst my expat friends here than BF - so not sure what you mean by a pervasive 'scene'. The tai tai lifestyle doesn't exactly lend itself to the labour intensive nature of BF - not that my friends fall into this category...
All that said, I am not as delusional as to ignore the wealth of research that points to the clear benefits of Breast milk - I simply recongnise that I'm making a personal choice for lifestyle reasons and don't need 'research' to make me feel better.
I don't believe there is anything wrong with formula feeding, but that doesn't mean I need to believe it's equal to BF - it's proven to be pretty difficult to simulate the compexity of what your body provides naturally in this and a whole host of other areas.
I do find your stance interesting though, given your preference for locally sourced, organic food - it doesn't get much more local than BM. For me, you can draw parallels between GM food and formula - not to mention formula companies with massive, wholly misleading marketing campaigns, being akin to companies like Monsanto.
Yes there is a culture based around BF, breast is best may have in part evolved as a backlash against formula companies campaigning to say formula is 'better' - e.g. the culture they evolved (new formula that has 'added this and that', expensive follow on formulas - all based on their 'subjective clinical trials' to feed profit and just as bad in my book - in particular as it pertained to the devatasting practice of pushing of formula into third world and developing countries.
The practice may not need to be 'exalted' as far as you are concerned, but in some instances is necessary to actively push information into the public arena so everyone can have the luxury of making their own decision.
BF should be a personal choice, my first baby was a mix for the first 6 months then moved wholly onto formula. my second is exclusively BF now, but I'll probably move to formula for reasons of convenience when I feel like it (and won't feel bad or guilty at all).
I would say there are more formula fed babies amongst my expat friends here than BF - so not sure what you mean by a pervasive 'scene'. The tai tai lifestyle doesn't exactly lend itself to the labour intensive nature of BF - not that my friends fall into this category...
All that said, I am not as delusional as to ignore the wealth of research that points to the clear benefits of Breast milk - I simply recongnise that I'm making a personal choice for lifestyle reasons and don't need 'research' to make me feel better.
I don't believe there is anything wrong with formula feeding, but that doesn't mean I need to believe it's equal to BF - it's proven to be pretty difficult to simulate the compexity of what your body provides naturally in this and a whole host of other areas.
I do find your stance interesting though, given your preference for locally sourced, organic food - it doesn't get much more local than BM. For me, you can draw parallels between GM food and formula - not to mention formula companies with massive, wholly misleading marketing campaigns, being akin to companies like Monsanto.
Yes there is a culture based around BF, breast is best may have in part evolved as a backlash against formula companies campaigning to say formula is 'better' - e.g. the culture they evolved (new formula that has 'added this and that', expensive follow on formulas - all based on their 'subjective clinical trials' to feed profit and just as bad in my book - in particular as it pertained to the devatasting practice of pushing of formula into third world and developing countries.
The practice may not need to be 'exalted' as far as you are concerned, but in some instances is necessary to actively push information into the public arena so everyone can have the luxury of making their own decision.
Had a read of the article and two things kind of struck me...
What exactly do some women think is going to happen after you give birth? That you've done your job? That's it? Easy peasy from then? How on earth is taking time out to breastfeed your child SUCH A STRAIN on your time??? Oh boo-hoo its so time comsuming and hard! What the?? Do these women seriously not know that you have to feed your baby X amount of times and not research various possibilities that could happen? Or simply find someone likeminded and grasp steadfastly onto their theory and artificially feed because its less time consuming? What a crock! I'm entirely over women feeling guilty about decisions they make as mothers but BE HONEST! Its the only way guilt will be gone. don't spin some crock that you don't have enough milk, tell the TRUTH, that you cannot be bothered! That you would be happier if you fed the baby formula so you felt more rested.
And honestly how silly researching to find an article that backs your own personal story up - you will find a plethora of such stories on both sides. there's a reason formula feeding is called artificial feeding - because it is! but who cares! I don't care about your child except in a community sense - but what you feed it? who cares and I'm not going to judge you for it. Obviously I breastfeed and honestly its because as soon as I was entering my third trimester (the first time) I suddenly wanted to do everything as naturally and organically as possible to protect my child so I breastfeed until they self-wean - knowing full well that this is going to be a long commitment to my child but do I feel like I'm a better mum than formula feeders? NO because again I don't care what you do! But I do feel really really good about myself as a mother - I really feel (without being all martyr-like) that I'm doing as good a job as I can...read "as I can". Its not like you can pick two kids out of a crowd and know the difference! sidebar though, my children are NEVER sick and I do wonder if its because I have passed on my strong immune system...my instinct is that its true and i could go out and find a hundred pieces of research that agree with me and I'm betting a formula feeder could go and find a hundred pieces of research disagreeing...
It will never stop though will it...people judge me all the time when we're chatting (you see it in their eyes) about what we do and what we don't do. I get teased for being an "earth mother", for not having a helper, for having natural deliveries, for breastfeeding til they self-wean...and you know what its not nice from this side of the fence either! so enough really...ALL mothers get teased/berrated/guilt-ridden/confused about they do...just feed them, wash them and keep them fed and educate them and hopefully at the end of the day they won't kill us in teenage-hood...
What exactly do some women think is going to happen after you give birth? That you've done your job? That's it? Easy peasy from then? How on earth is taking time out to breastfeed your child SUCH A STRAIN on your time??? Oh boo-hoo its so time comsuming and hard! What the?? Do these women seriously not know that you have to feed your baby X amount of times and not research various possibilities that could happen? Or simply find someone likeminded and grasp steadfastly onto their theory and artificially feed because its less time consuming? What a crock! I'm entirely over women feeling guilty about decisions they make as mothers but BE HONEST! Its the only way guilt will be gone. don't spin some crock that you don't have enough milk, tell the TRUTH, that you cannot be bothered! That you would be happier if you fed the baby formula so you felt more rested.
And honestly how silly researching to find an article that backs your own personal story up - you will find a plethora of such stories on both sides. there's a reason formula feeding is called artificial feeding - because it is! but who cares! I don't care about your child except in a community sense - but what you feed it? who cares and I'm not going to judge you for it. Obviously I breastfeed and honestly its because as soon as I was entering my third trimester (the first time) I suddenly wanted to do everything as naturally and organically as possible to protect my child so I breastfeed until they self-wean - knowing full well that this is going to be a long commitment to my child but do I feel like I'm a better mum than formula feeders? NO because again I don't care what you do! But I do feel really really good about myself as a mother - I really feel (without being all martyr-like) that I'm doing as good a job as I can...read "as I can". Its not like you can pick two kids out of a crowd and know the difference! sidebar though, my children are NEVER sick and I do wonder if its because I have passed on my strong immune system...my instinct is that its true and i could go out and find a hundred pieces of research that agree with me and I'm betting a formula feeder could go and find a hundred pieces of research disagreeing...
It will never stop though will it...people judge me all the time when we're chatting (you see it in their eyes) about what we do and what we don't do. I get teased for being an "earth mother", for not having a helper, for having natural deliveries, for breastfeeding til they self-wean...and you know what its not nice from this side of the fence either! so enough really...ALL mothers get teased/berrated/guilt-ridden/confused about they do...just feed them, wash them and keep them fed and educate them and hopefully at the end of the day they won't kill us in teenage-hood...
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