My new maid is just not as professional in taking care a toddler even though she worked in Singapore and Malaysia for over 4 years with child taking care experience. My baby is now 2 years 4 months old. I need an urgent maid replacement. Can anyone help me here? My husband and I work for long hours and we both want to have a good sleep on Sunday's morning so we are looking for a DH who can work all year long, that is , even on Sunday and public holiday.
I need to get a new DH urgently who specializes in toddler care
- Thread starter jlee
- Start date
carang
Registered User
you work long hours and want a break... don't you think a helper deserves the same? maybe this is why your current helper is not up to par. she hasn't had a break!!!!!
what you want is completely illegal, not to mention immoral. helpers are here to help make your life easier, not to be a slave!
what you want is completely illegal, not to mention immoral. helpers are here to help make your life easier, not to be a slave!
Thanks for the notice.
Actually, my old maid, who will go back to indonesia in a week time is perfect in all areas. We are 95% satisfied with her but she needs to go back and get married. The new maid, who just on board for a few days, is simply rough in all areas. She is not enthusiastic, rude, not concentrate enough, just sitting aside and watch my child instead of playing with him. She sweats a lot and so smelly too. She can't even bath my child and get him wear the clothes after bathing. I just don't feel comfortable leaving my child alone with her. My child is 2 years and 4 months old and he is naughty. So safety is my most concern, even at home, with such a careless DH/
Actually, my old maid, who will go back to indonesia in a week time is perfect in all areas. We are 95% satisfied with her but she needs to go back and get married. The new maid, who just on board for a few days, is simply rough in all areas. She is not enthusiastic, rude, not concentrate enough, just sitting aside and watch my child instead of playing with him. She sweats a lot and so smelly too. She can't even bath my child and get him wear the clothes after bathing. I just don't feel comfortable leaving my child alone with her. My child is 2 years and 4 months old and he is naughty. So safety is my most concern, even at home, with such a careless DH/
when you decided to have a child, did you also think of taking care of it in person? i'm not talking about financing DHs, buying toys, arranging tutoring lessons and other activities, i mean really personally spending time with him/her... understand that you need to rest (we all do), but sorry to say that you must sacrifice YOUR time for your baby - yes, even on sunday mornings.
carang
Registered User
i have a son that is exactly the same age. however, i do NOT allow him to behave naughtily. if he starts, he gets 3 warnings and then it's either to his room, go home or take away a toy (depending on the situation). i must say that he is EXTREMELY well behaved 95% of the time.
YOU need to discipline your child and teach him the proper way to behave. that's THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB YOU WILL EVER DO!
do NOT leave it to a helper to raise your child. it is YOUR RESPONSIBLITY to instill proper values in your child.
and i must say... not giving someone a day of rest is beyond illegal. it is inhuman and NOT what i'd want MY child learning. your child should take his cues from YOU when it comes to the treatment of others.
YOU need to discipline your child and teach him the proper way to behave. that's THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB YOU WILL EVER DO!
do NOT leave it to a helper to raise your child. it is YOUR RESPONSIBLITY to instill proper values in your child.
and i must say... not giving someone a day of rest is beyond illegal. it is inhuman and NOT what i'd want MY child learning. your child should take his cues from YOU when it comes to the treatment of others.
JLee, I must agree with everyone.
I'm working full time (so does my hubby) and I/We NEVER let the maid take care of my son once I'm or both of us are home. She understands that once either one of us is home, we take over as we're his parents. My DH, although she treats him like her own son, needs a break too from caring for him. It's only natural.We both know how hard it is to be a full time carer to a baby/toddler.
As far as disciplining, my son knows better even at 14 months to be "naughty" to my DH. She is allowed to sternly tell him off when he doesn't do the right thing. There's too many toddlers who "lord" over their carers!
We both work hard, and when my hubby and I decided to have a baby, we realised that there will no longer be Sunday morning sleep in(s). Never once did we think that a stranger would raise our child so that we could sleep in. In fact, once our DH goes to bed (between 8.30 and 9.30) we NEVER disturb her. We tend to the needs of our bub every week day from 5.30 p.m. (at the earliest when I get to leave early) till 7.25 am the next day before we leave for work (WITHOUT our DH). On weekends, she is not allowed to babysit him. We get up once our bub is up. It's time with mum and dad. It's part and parcel of RESPONSIBLE parenting. You can't realistically expect an Indonesian DH to fulfill that responsibility!
I'm working full time (so does my hubby) and I/We NEVER let the maid take care of my son once I'm or both of us are home. She understands that once either one of us is home, we take over as we're his parents. My DH, although she treats him like her own son, needs a break too from caring for him. It's only natural.We both know how hard it is to be a full time carer to a baby/toddler.
As far as disciplining, my son knows better even at 14 months to be "naughty" to my DH. She is allowed to sternly tell him off when he doesn't do the right thing. There's too many toddlers who "lord" over their carers!
We both work hard, and when my hubby and I decided to have a baby, we realised that there will no longer be Sunday morning sleep in(s). Never once did we think that a stranger would raise our child so that we could sleep in. In fact, once our DH goes to bed (between 8.30 and 9.30) we NEVER disturb her. We tend to the needs of our bub every week day from 5.30 p.m. (at the earliest when I get to leave early) till 7.25 am the next day before we leave for work (WITHOUT our DH). On weekends, she is not allowed to babysit him. We get up once our bub is up. It's time with mum and dad. It's part and parcel of RESPONSIBLE parenting. You can't realistically expect an Indonesian DH to fulfill that responsibility!
so is it your child or your DH's child? i have a feeling that your current maid has enuf of being your child's "mom" so tell you that she has to get married.
anyway. i have to agree on everything they say here. being a parent has responsibilites & i sure don't think you should let your DH (whoever you hire) raise your child for you. children grow up imitating their parent, mostly because that's the most stimulation he/she gets from. the brain expert who wrote the book "what going on in there?" saids that the stimulation of a child's first 5 years mold what a person becomes. ifyou let your DH took full care of your child, he will become like your helper & not you or your husband.
as for working 365, 24/7. can you do it? if not, i think you need 2 helpers.
anyway. i have to agree on everything they say here. being a parent has responsibilites & i sure don't think you should let your DH (whoever you hire) raise your child for you. children grow up imitating their parent, mostly because that's the most stimulation he/she gets from. the brain expert who wrote the book "what going on in there?" saids that the stimulation of a child's first 5 years mold what a person becomes. ifyou let your DH took full care of your child, he will become like your helper & not you or your husband.
as for working 365, 24/7. can you do it? if not, i think you need 2 helpers.
At the very least you need to be realistic about what you're going to get if you ask someone to work 7 days a week. I wouldn;t want to work for any employer under those circumstances. I can only assume that's the reason you have an Indonesian maid - no Filippino helper would stand for it - and rightly so.
If you don't like your new maid (for whatever work related reason), then go through the legal process of dismissal. If you don't want to do this, then either put up with what you've got, re-train her, or perhaps take an active role in parenting your child, rather than leaving it up to someone else to do for you.
From what you have described (long hours, plus a Sunday sleep in) it sounds like you (might) see your child for 1/2 a day a week.
Quite frankly - why did you bother to have kids if you're not prepared to spend any time or effort?
If you don't like your new maid (for whatever work related reason), then go through the legal process of dismissal. If you don't want to do this, then either put up with what you've got, re-train her, or perhaps take an active role in parenting your child, rather than leaving it up to someone else to do for you.
From what you have described (long hours, plus a Sunday sleep in) it sounds like you (might) see your child for 1/2 a day a week.
Quite frankly - why did you bother to have kids if you're not prepared to spend any time or effort?
well said everyone. I hope jlee gets the point and will treat her next DH with the care and respect she should be giving to her own child. and another thing...I dont think your DH or anyone for that matter "needs" to get married...its more like ...they "WANT" to get married.