how to react? husband's family takes child to beach without notifying you beforehand.

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solidstars

solidstars

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So, got to MIL's house today after work (with husband, we'll call him X) and:

MIL: so i washed T already, but not really a bath, just to get the sand off

Me: sand?

**notible pause in living room**

T's young cousin looks at MIL and then looks at me and shouts: Well, X knows we went to the beach today!

Me: Okay. (looks at T) did you have fun? (chat with T)
(I continue to pretend everything is okay)

*X and I walk away from living room*

Me: When were you going to tell me your mom took T to the beach?
X: Well, I forgot myself, so that's why I forgot to tell you.

===========

:tantrum:

How am i supposed to react? I don't mind T going to the beach, but I do mind that everyone seems to be keeping it a secret from me? If it wasn't for the fact that my MIL 'leaked' it out I wouldn't have known at all!!!!

So confused! Not sure where to direct my anger, I supposed I should be angry at my husband for keeping it a secret?!
 
think this is one to let slip.... my hubby and his family do stuff with my kids when i'm at work... it's not a secret, they just don't think to tell me about it until after the fact... last week, my MIL took my son to mongkok for lunch with my BIL & SIL.... i was at work and had no idea...
 
Actually I would be very happy if any of my family members took care of my kids like that or entertained them by taking them to the beach. I would just say thank you and make them feel they did an awesome job :)
 
I think probably they didn't mean to keep it as a secret. Probably for them was just a normal activity with your kid,... so normal that, why bother telling you?

I bet that if my parents were the one taking care of my baby, they would take him everywhere, and wouldn't bother telling me about that as well....
 
I know from your other posts here, solidstars, that it's not always "happy land" at your house and you do have issues with your in-laws and your husband (X--is that cryptic for "ex"???)

In this case, I would say this is completely normal. My parents-in-law look after my son on the weekends. They took him to the beach last weekend and neither my husband nor I knew about it until later. He had fun. To me, it's not any bigger of a deal than if they had taken him to the playground to play. Unless you have something particularly against your child going to the beach?

Husbands forget a lot of things. My husband forgets to tell me a lot of things. Well, also he forgets to translate things for me sometimes because he speaks Cantonese and I don't. So, he just kind of assumes I overheard the conversation and got the meaning. What motivation would he or your parents-in-law have for keeping such a thing as a trip to the beach as a secret from you? Doesn't make any sense--unless we don't have all the info. here.

Let it slide, girl, let it slide. :)
 
Agree with the others to let it go. Your child is very lucky to have family who can spend quality time with him/her.
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geomum said:
Actually I would be very happy if any of my family members took care of my kids like that or entertained them by taking them to the beach. I would just say thank you and make them feel they did an awesome job :)
Click to expand...

Completely agree.
 
You sound pretty ungrateful to me. How nice that you have a lovely family who gave up their time to entertain your kid!

They took your child to the beach, it's hardly a crime!

Get over it love and maybe consider thanking them instead.
 
Kaandy, I take it you haven't read Solidstar's previous posts regarding her verbally and emotionally abusive husband and his conniving family. Her in-laws are hardly a 'lovely family' and your flippant call to "get over it, love" isn't helpful.

Solidstars, I agree with the other posters that although it must be annoying to feel that they've tried - once again - to hide something from you, at least this time it isn't a 'bad thing' like secretly giving formula. Unless there's some reason you are anxious about your child going to the beach (too much heat? the sand-flies? eating sand?), then this is one to let slide. Or even to make a big deal about what a lovely treat it must have been for baby, just to show them that they haven't 'won' by hiding the beach visit from you. (Maybe they didn't even mean to hide it.)

You know you have the support of the majority of this forum's posters. We are not trying to belittle your concerns about the beach visit. Unless we haven't understand another part of the story, it sounds like this is not a battle to be fought.
 
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