how to prepare for baby #2?

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ctrbabe1

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Hi all! I'm about 28 weeks along now, and am just starting to really worry about how to add baby #2 to our family. I've been talking to our dd (3.5 yo) about the new baby for quite awhile, and have gotten her several books on what new babies are like and how they need lots of love and care, while trying to assure her that we will still have our special time and cuddles and stories and things like that. She seems to be doing ok with all of it, but I am still worried about how I will handle everything. Dh is not home a lot (as i know most of you can relate to), and we don't have a helper. We live in a very small flat (only 518 sq. ft.), and so I know it will be crowded.

I guess I'm just looking for some words of advice or something about how to make it all work?

Thanks!
 
apparently one thing recommended by the AAP is to not refer to the new baby as 'he' or 'she', just, 'the baby'. Otherwsie your first child will think of it as a new playmate coming along. We found that out too late and sure enough, our #1 is still trying to treat her new sister like a doll. I thought our place was small at 915 and helper +2 kids. #2 sleeps in the living room.
 
Hi Katie,

Similar to your situation, my first boy was 3.5 yrs. old when my 2nd boy was born. We used to live in a 535 sq. ft flat with my first child and a helper but once I found out I was pregnant, we decided to move to a slightly bigger place.

Of course if financial situation allows, it would be better if each kid has their own room. But I understand that there are also many other HK families of 4-6 are still living in a 400 sq.ft flat and they're perfectly happy. Anyhow, during my pregnancy, I read many books on welcoming new baby to my first born and he seemed fine. But when the baby finally came along, things were different. As mentioned, I have a helper and she mainly takes care of my first boy. And I spent most of my time with the baby. THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE!!! My first boy started to act out and whined in order to get our attention. What's worse, even though he loves his baby brother, sometimes he tends to do things which will hurt the baby (twists his fingers, squeezes his legs).

For your case, if you don't have a helper, try to involve your first born in the caring for the baby. For example, by handing you the nappy, or helping feeding the baby, he won't feel left out and at the same time, he would truly feels like a big brother! And remember, do praise your first born ALL THE TIME! =)

Hope that helps and good luck!

Mother Goose
 
Can I also ask a few questions, as we're planning baby #2?

I will always remember what its like being pregnant, but I tend to have forgotten everything about breastfeeding and how to handle such a small baby. My daughter is only 14-months and I've almost blanked out with all these things.

My friend had a baby girl two months ago and I was scared to even hold her. How does a mother of two divide her time? In-between work, baby #1, maid coordination, husband coordination (as he's also a big baby), family and friends?

I sometimes feel we're superwoman...it's so unfair. Men's lives don't really change. And do your breasts sag even more? For those of you who had a c-section, does it hurt even more second time round and do you recover slower?

HELP!! Scared and wondering???
 
i dont' think that you have forgotten everything. when you hold your own baby in your arms, you will KNOW what to do. it's always different when it is someone else's baby!

as for the rest... i'll let you know after feb 6! my son is going to be 2 on feb 12 and his baby sister is scheduled for an early c-section on feb 6.

i had a c with my first and it wasn't pleasant. i was given an epi that didn't work properly and was excruciatingly painful. this time round due to other complications, i'll be under general anesthesia. so i'll let you know about pain and recovery when i get back home...

as for juggling hubby, babies, helpers and work... it'll all work out in the end. no point in worrying about it now! we will all find a way to do it. we have NO CHOICE! LOL>
 
oh josoo.. sooo in the same boat, planning for #2, c-section the first time around and HATED IT! didn't enjoy being pregnant all that much either, and you're right, i don't know how i'm going to work through breastfeeding (not to mention the countless pumping at work)..again... it's weird, sometimes don't want my baby to grow up but i have to admit she is easier in some ways at 16mths now than she was at 6mths... keep in touch! i'll be watching out for this thread :D
 
I think that you can go for it, things can change.. when the #2 baby come you will know that everything are just fine..
 
We bought her a babydoll. She feeds the baby when I feed my son. But she got a little jalous anyway. It took around 3 weeks and now she always wants to help me feeding and changing.
 
Katie,

When my second baby was born I was on my own with both kids for the first 3.5 months (my husband was out of the country for work and we had no helper). You CAN do it!

It sounds like you're telling your daughter all the right things!

My 1st seemed to always need the most attention when I was breastfeeding the baby. You'll get really good at multi tasking. I would read my daughter books or do puzzles with her while I would feed her brother (wasn't always the most comfortable, but you make do). I had a "cuddly wrap" baby carrier that was great for feeding baby in a hands free position.

I always tried to find jobs for her to do to make her feel important (get diapers, help wash or put lotion on the baby, zip jammies).

I also made sure not to always put the babies needs before her needs(sometimes the baby just needs to cry for a couple minutes while you're taking care of the other childs needs. The first child needs to know that they are important too).

Make sure to take care of your self too. You're a better mommy when you're fed and rested. Remember, you're raising children, not a house, so don't kill yourself trying to get everything done. Prioritize what NEEDS to be done and be prepared to let some other things go a bit. Don't set out to be "superwomen" Most people that try to do everything don't do everything well, so pick the things that are important and do those things well. Ther first couple months will probably be hard, but It will get easier and you'll eventually find your groove.

Good luck!
 
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