How to NOT stress about TTC

D

Dianeb

Registered User
Hi ladies, I really would like to get some advice from you....I have been TTC for a couple of months now....and unfortunately without success.....I know that we are not supposed to stress but it's just so hard not to stress about it. The act of remembering to take your BBT very morning, pinpointing ovulation date, checking your CM, finding the right time to bd with hubby and then facing the worst part of all...that is from after ovulation till the next cycle...thinking and hoping if this "is" the month...............I want to get pregnant so desperately that I am taking note and observing every single tiny changes in my body and trying to think if they are pregnancy symptoms....I really think I will go insane soon!!!...the repeated disappointments in the past couple of months also really depressed me. Every night before I go to bed, I just keep praying to God that I will be able to have a baby soon...........I am tired and exhausted from all this waiting and guessing....especially when it seems such an easy task for some people. Sometimes I even feel alone with these issues .....I am 29 this year and if nothing happens in 3 more months, I will seek professional help from infertility doctors.

I would really like to know how you manage your stress especially during the "waiting" period? Are there any women share group here in HK where we can share and support TTC women? I am really finding it increasingly difficult to cope with emotional roller coaster each month and would appreciate if you could share your thoughts/experiences...
 
You have to look at it as a marathon, not a sprint from month to month. I know lots of mums in their 20s and 30s who had nothing wrong with them or their husbands, took many many years to conceive. If you decide to go the IVF route, I promise you, you will go completely nuts as you and your doctors will be focussing that much more on your fertility. The success rate for IVF is I believe only 20% and drops off as you approach 40 yrs, yet you spend a fortune and your expectations go up 500%. My husband and I tried for many years, had miscarriages, waited, tried, did tests, you name it, but we decided against fertility treatments. It was when we had given up that I found I was pregnant, naturally, at the grand old age of 42!!! our daughter is now 7 months old. You and your husband have to go through your own journey. Remember you are both in this together, some couples I know split up because of the pressure. Don't give up but you really have to keep a perspective on this.. get on with life, with or without a child.
 
Try not to put any limit... 3 months is not a long time, and the doctor will probably tell you to wait 6 more months, if you are healthy, you have the same amount of chance to get pregnant naturally than with any treatment.
Tell yourselves that you can wait until next March, then you'll take an appointment.
For sure it's impossible not to think about it ! So, just allow yourselves 10 mn per day to think about it, and forget about it the rest of the day...
And just inform people around you that you don't want to get any question about when or if you are pregnant, that you will inform them in time...
Good luck !
 
Agree with Frenchy.

Dianeb - I didn't go the IVF route but did go to a doctor for check-up before TTC. The doctor advised us to use the OPK and told us that even if we get the dates right, it is normal to take a year or more to conceive :) So don't be stressed, 3 months is a very short time.

Probably best not to count the dates/months, when it happens, it happens. You are young too. Good luck!
 
I was so much like you when we first started TTC... it took a year before we went to a doc about fertility. Turned out that I had PCOS but the doc said there was no reason why we shouldn't be able to conceive naturally. She told me to use ovulation kits (which frustrated me, because I was so impatient and wanted an answer RIGHT THEN!!)... I tried the ovulation kits though and it worked for us. After a year of trying... it was definitely relaxing to know that we COULD conceive naturally!!

It's so hard to NOT stress about it - I know... and it's foolish to say "don't stress" coz that doesn't work either... but maybe like Frenchy said, have a plan - give yourself a few months trying something, then maybe try ovulation kits if you haven't already...

From my experience, a doc generally won't really "act" unless you've tried all that, and you've been TTC for over a year, or if you're over about 35 or so...

Hoping it all works out naturally for you!!
 
Hi Dianeb, Totally empathize- very hard to relax if you are worked up about it. Like others have said, 3 months is a very short time. Try to direct your energy somewhere else if you could, even if conceiving is always in the back of our mind. I would also very highly recommend "Taking Charge of your fertility" by Toni Weschler. I tried using ovulation kits and I never got the right answer and ended up going through various fertility treatments. After some very stressful years, I gave up and finally checked this book out- as a what the hell, lets try this method too- we conceived naturally within 6 months. The answer all this while was right in my face about when I ovulate without any external help, I just never knew for 35 years.... sad but true. Besides wanting to conceive, I think every woman should read it anyway- the book is quite an eye opener about our fertility.
 
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