My 8 month old daughter has started to get fussy before bed and refuses to go to sleep on her own unless I rock her to sleep. Before this she used to go to bed on her own after the night feeding. I tried letting her cry but she is stubborn and cries non-stop. Should I continue to let her cry? Any suggestions? Thanks a lot!
How to get baby to sleep on her own?
- Thread starter pkh
- Start date
rani
Administrator
PKH,
I'm sorry, I wish I could help. D has never slept on his own. I didn't have the heart to let him cry-it-out. When he was younger he was rocked. Now I have to lie down next to him until he falls asleep and then we move him into his cot.
Do you think your baby maybe teething and just needs some extra comfort to get to bed?
Rani
I'm sorry, I wish I could help. D has never slept on his own. I didn't have the heart to let him cry-it-out. When he was younger he was rocked. Now I have to lie down next to him until he falls asleep and then we move him into his cot.
Do you think your baby maybe teething and just needs some extra comfort to get to bed?
Rani
rani
Administrator
Another excellent book is by Elizabeth Pantley - "The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night"
Tips from The No-Cry Sleep Solution:
Uncover the stumbling blocks that prevent baby from sleeping through the night
Determine--and work with--baby's biological sleep rhythms
Create a customized, step-by-step plan to get baby to sleep through the night
Use the Persistent Gentle Removal System to teach baby to fall asleep without breast-feeding, bottlefeeding, or using a pacifier
More info here:
http://shop.geobaby.com/product_info.php?products_id=605
Tips from The No-Cry Sleep Solution:
Uncover the stumbling blocks that prevent baby from sleeping through the night
Determine--and work with--baby's biological sleep rhythms
Create a customized, step-by-step plan to get baby to sleep through the night
Use the Persistent Gentle Removal System to teach baby to fall asleep without breast-feeding, bottlefeeding, or using a pacifier
More info here:
http://shop.geobaby.com/product_info.php?products_id=605
Clare Sheasby
Registered User
I also used the "The Contended Little Baby Book" just to give me some guidance. I don't think you should follow it to the letter, but I do agree that a good routine before bedtime lets your baby know what is happening and what is expected of them. Also if your baby does cry whilst you are attempting to put them to bed I recommend not picking them up each time, but just going in the room and letting them know you are there, maybe rub their tummy or head and then again leave the room again. It may take several tries but seemed to work for me. My daughter is also put in her cot fully awake if possible so that she can settle herself to sleep.
yvonneheavyside
Registered User
This is quite a common problem. Have you thought about doing controlled crying? It's not as bad as it sounds! Basically it means you put the baby down and let her cry for about 5 mins (if you can bare this) then go in and pick her up and comfort her until she stops really screaming (but still sobbing) then put her down. Next time wait another minute (now 6 mins) and repeat the same routine, extending the time by 1 minute between picking her up . Keep doing it by extending the space in between picking her up by 1 minute. Eventually she should fall asleep. This is a gentler way than just letting her cry as she feels secure and knows you will come back and comfort her.
Have a strict bed time routine and wind down period so that she picks up the clues that it's now bed time.
Good luck
Yvonne, Health Visitor
Have a strict bed time routine and wind down period so that she picks up the clues that it's now bed time.
Good luck
Yvonne, Health Visitor
My daughter spent a month and a bit teething and during this time she was up every 2 hours. We hoped that once she stopped her sleeping would return to normal unfortunately she has continued to wake every 2 hours and although we have tried sharing night duties she only wanted my breast to put her back to sleep! As I'm working I couldn't continue doing this so we had no choice but to do the controlled crying as detailed by Yvonne (with Yvonne's help in fact!). My husband and I started controlled crying this weekend (he has been up with her so she can't smell my breast milk) and it certainly wasn't as bad as either of us expected. Last night she woke once at 4pm for 40 mins so it is working which compared to the usual 2 hourly is a miracle!
I know a lot of people and I include myself in this category hate the thought of controlled crying but it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought (although we haven't finished yet and I could be eating my own words!). I think the fact that you don't leave your baby to cry on their own and are constantly reassuring them does help.
Don't know if you are still breastfeeding but if you are I would suggest that you get your partner to go to her at night so she doesn't immediatley expect to be fed or uses you as her way of going back to sleep.
I know a lot of people and I include myself in this category hate the thought of controlled crying but it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought (although we haven't finished yet and I could be eating my own words!). I think the fact that you don't leave your baby to cry on their own and are constantly reassuring them does help.
Don't know if you are still breastfeeding but if you are I would suggest that you get your partner to go to her at night so she doesn't immediatley expect to be fed or uses you as her way of going back to sleep.
She's 6 months - I don't think controlled crying is supposed to be done until they are at least 6 months - too many other reasons for them to be unsettled at night before then.
Good news is she slept 10.15 minutes last night which is the longest that she has ever slept so fingers crossed this is the beginning of good sleeping for her and therefore me!
Good news is she slept 10.15 minutes last night which is the longest that she has ever slept so fingers crossed this is the beginning of good sleeping for her and therefore me!
Will not sleep in Crib
My 10 month old baby will not sleep in his crib but will sleep in bed with me. He sometimes will sleep for about 1-2 hours and then wakes up and I will rock him back to sleep but as soon as I put him down in his crib he cries and refuses to go back to sleep but when I put him down on my bed he falls back to sleep quickly.
I want to break this habit but not sure what to do. It is an easy way out but I'm so tired that it is just easier for me to put him in my bed but I want him to learn that he has to sleep in his crib alone. I have been doing this for most of his life and I am afraid it is too late to break this habit.
My 10 month old baby will not sleep in his crib but will sleep in bed with me. He sometimes will sleep for about 1-2 hours and then wakes up and I will rock him back to sleep but as soon as I put him down in his crib he cries and refuses to go back to sleep but when I put him down on my bed he falls back to sleep quickly.
I want to break this habit but not sure what to do. It is an easy way out but I'm so tired that it is just easier for me to put him in my bed but I want him to learn that he has to sleep in his crib alone. I have been doing this for most of his life and I am afraid it is too late to break this habit.
Not too late
Thanks All, for the advice. I have started to let my daughter cry it out a couple nights ago. The first night she woke two times. First time my husband gave in and held her to sleep. Second time we let her cry - for 30 mins... we did not go in to see her. Finally she went to sleep on the her. Last night, she woke one time, I went in and pat her back... she cried for another minute or so and went to sleep... I hope this means she is learning... We will see how it goes tonight. I am not seeing any change in her attitude to me during the day - no negatives from the crying out method so far - except for her hoarse voice.
For Chance, probably not too late for 10 month old to learn. I have a friend in the same situation... 10 month old daughter (she had been rocked to sleep for since she was 4 month old). My friend tried the controlled crying method and it works after one week.... the hard part is being able to bare her cry....
PKH
Thanks All, for the advice. I have started to let my daughter cry it out a couple nights ago. The first night she woke two times. First time my husband gave in and held her to sleep. Second time we let her cry - for 30 mins... we did not go in to see her. Finally she went to sleep on the her. Last night, she woke one time, I went in and pat her back... she cried for another minute or so and went to sleep... I hope this means she is learning... We will see how it goes tonight. I am not seeing any change in her attitude to me during the day - no negatives from the crying out method so far - except for her hoarse voice.
For Chance, probably not too late for 10 month old to learn. I have a friend in the same situation... 10 month old daughter (she had been rocked to sleep for since she was 4 month old). My friend tried the controlled crying method and it works after one week.... the hard part is being able to bare her cry....
PKH
Grace Bellis
Registered User
I'm trying to teach my 13 months daughter to learn how to get to sleep on her own. I thought she could, but realised that she couldn't quite recently. We let her cry to sleep for a few nights now..the crying period is reducing, but she would still cry for good 20 mins non-stop. The worst part is that she threw up everytime (not sure if we'd ever get her to do so:-(. The previous messages I read was to train baby from 6 to 10 months. Not sure how it would work for a 13 months old? Did anyone ever try to do this? Am wondering how long I should try for? Thanks for your input in advance.