How many kids would you want to have if you had a choice?

How many kids would you want to have if you had a choice?

  • 1

    Votes: 1 1.6%

  • 2

    Votes: 16 26.2%

  • 3

    Votes: 31 50.8%

  • 4+

    Votes: 11 18.0%

  • None

    Votes: 2 3.3%
  • Total voters
    61
H

HK2008

Registered User
Just wondering how many kids most ladies would want to have if you were given a chance to have them relatively freely, such as no financial pressure; no medical conditions/constraints; faily easy to go back to work, etc...

I have two, a girl and a boy. I didn't want to have any kids initially; after my daughter I said no more-that's it. Then my son decided to join us...Now I say DEFINITELY no more...but who knows...
 
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Haha... this is a fun thread. Before I gave birth, I always thought 3 would be great!!! But after my little girl arrived, some days I am so overwhelmed, tired and cheerless I think maybe just 1! But like you said, who knows... heh...
 
This is a fun post! Hmmm...I said 3 but whenever I mention that to hubby he just laughs and shakes his head 'no'.

I grew up with one sibling and always wished I had more so I suppose that is where my desire to have more (rather than less) children comes from.

Let me have the first one (due in 10 weeks!) and then we'll see...
 
i always thought i would have two myself and adopt one. since i was in my mid-teens i wanted to adopt a baby. after suffering two terrible, complicated pregnancies i still find myself wanting to have another. i would be just as happy to adopt, but my local husband is concerned that the adopted baby would not be as readily accepted by his family as our "natural" children. so, he is very hesitant. he doesn't want any child to feel less wanted or loved than siblings. i can understand the concern, but i don't think that his family would actually treat the children differently. it is an on-going discussion in our house.
 
i would love to have 4 but think i started my run a little late. i have 2 now... will definitely try for a 3rd but can't imagine still having a newborn in another 3 or more years time.
my husband is more keen for 4 than I am. he thinks having twins next would be ideal. no thanks!!!
 
I grew up in a family with three children and it was good but I think four would be even better. Before I got married someone asked me how many children I'd like to have and I said four.
My husband, a local Hong Kong Chinese guy, was like "Whoa, whoa, whoa...four?!" Before we were married he used to say, "I want to live in a 'two-person world'" which is a translation of a common Cantonese saying which means I don't want to have kids. However, those were just his initial feels and as he grew up as an only child he always longed for a sibling himself and felt Hong Kong was quite lonely for him without one.
So, our pregnancy with our son was unplanned and almost everything about the pregnancy, birth and aftermath was excruciatingly difficult. Even today, when I imagine going through it again my entire body tenses up.
But, the husband who once wanted to live in a 'two person world' fell totally, head-first in love with our son and with fatherhood and if it was up to him alone we would already have a second child and be possibly working on a third--even though he knows how difficult everything was with our son.
Initially the concept of adoption was really hard for my husband to get his head around because adoption doesn't have a really strong cultural connection to Chinese culture--usually if children are adopted (historically) they are adopted within the family or among close neighbors and those children are never told they were adopted--it becomes a secret. Obviously, this is a huge difference from how things are done where I come from. But, now, after meeting several families that have adopted children and talking with some adults who were adopted as children, my husband has come to a different understanding of what adoption means so that could be a very viable option for us in the future, I think.
 
When I was younger I thought I would not want any (too much of a career girl). Then I wanted 3 (I come from a family of 3 kids). Now I have one boy and a baby on the way, two will be a wonderful family for me. Two seems easier for a number of reasons - car, traveling by plane, one hand for each of them when you are by yourself.

SB2
 
Before I had a baby, we both said 2. Then after our son was born and we fell in love, we said 3. He still says 3, but I`m still trying to get him to do more with the first one, so we`ll see if there`s even a second:)
 
just curious... one person has responded with "none"... interesting for a board devoted to mostly mums & a few dads.

i hope that the person that voted 1 has not had any kids. i would hate to grow up knowing that either my mum or dad wished that i didn't exist.
 
Three -- I'm waiting anxiously for number 2 to appear as this pregnancy hasn't been a bag of laughs. Both hubby and I are determined to adopt number three if we feel the itch for another baby; as we're both of very different races our families are happy taking on more colours so to speak!
 
I wanted to have two, only one now. Need to convince my husband which is undecided. Any suggestions how to do it?
 
carang said:
just curious... one person has responded with "none"... interesting for a board devoted to mostly mums & a few dads.

i hope that the person that voted 1 has not had any kids. i would hate to grow up knowing that either my mum or dad wished that i didn't exist.
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I don't agree with you (it wasn't me). I said 2 and I have 3. That doesn't mean I love my "3rd" child any less than the others, it just means that if things had gone differently I wouldn't have 3 children. I would never tried to get pregnant for no. 3 (at least intentionally and I hope Mirena is doing its job). This person (assuming it's not a "troll" vote) may ideally not have wanted children, but things went differently. That doesn't mean she doesn't love her child any less than we do or that she wished she can "put her back".
 
i didn't say that it definitely meant they didn't love their child. i said, i HOPE that they hadn't. if a person really didn't want kids then had one, it COULD cause resentment towards the child. i would hate for the child to feel that.

i'm not accusing anyone of anything.
 
carang said:
i didn't say that it definitely meant they didn't love their child. i said, i HOPE that they hadn't. if a person really didn't want kids then had one, it COULD cause resentment towards the child. i would hate for the child to feel that.

i'm not accusing anyone of anything.
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No, I didn't say that, but I was just pointing out that just because things go differently in life, doesn't mean anything (negative).
 
WOW, ladies, thank you all for sharing your thoughts...I'm not at all surprised at the result so far---more people want to have three kids, exactly as what I observed back in Australia...But just as starbucks(if I remember correctly) mentioned, when you have three kids, how do you deal with one specific situation: when all of them want to be picked up at once? I often say to my hubby 'luckily we only have two, otherwise the third one might be standing there feeling disappointed/upset'...I could be wrong because one thing I've learned after having baby#2 is, we parents have endless love towards all our children...

Cara and Mom2Sofie&Twins, I think I understand both of you: Cara would hate to see any kids being unwanted by the parents(being such a good-hearted person herself); but Mom2Sofie&Twins also made a very valid point: some parents might be doing things differently for numerous reasons(which should be absolutely respected) if they could turn back the clock. I myself mainly struggle to see the pros and cons between having 2 and 3 children(which is the stage where I'm at)...Would love to hear more ladies' ideas on what prompt(ed) you to have 3 instead of being happy with just 2. As for those voted 4+, I think I got the point: the more the merrier!

Ladies, I also think I'd be more content to see 3 kids happily playing in my own grassy/tree lined backyard than here in HK...No offense intended. We came to HK with full knowledge that space is a problem...I'm just being homesick again I guess...:missu:
 
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HK2008 said:
Ladies, I also think I'd be more content to see 3 kids happily playing in my own grassy/tree lined backyard than here in HK...No offense intended. We came to HK with full knowledge that space is a problem...I'm just being homesick again I guess...:missu:
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I posed this question to my hubby last night (thinking he wanted to stop at 2) and he said to me if there was no financial/space/time considerations he would go for 3 and consider 4.

I'm feeling exactly like you at the moment HK2008 - I would love to see 3 kids happily playing in my own grassy backyard (complete with home veggie patch!) than here in HK. I'm feeling terribly homesick as well - that makes 2 of us!

Hang in there!
 
Just keep in mind ... you could have twins the next time around ;) ... and you should be up for that one too. Mine came completely out of the blue (no meds, no family history, no nothing). But it's a fact that we're getting older and older when we have our children and chances for (fraternal, which is most common) twins go up once you get older (especially 35+, I was 33) and you go through more pregnancies.

Not to scare you, because it's great, but it's reality! So many twins here in HK!

I heard "one more" so many times ... ended up with "two more" ...
 
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