How did you start self-feeding with baby?

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MLBW

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Hey Ladies and Gents,

I want to hear how you switched from spoon feeding to self-feeding with your babies.

I prefer to hear only from people who first spoon fed and then switched to self feeding--and not those who did self-feeding only from the beginning, thanks.

My situation is that my son is fully capable of self-feeding and likes to eat--but his dexterity isn't that great--so 50%+ of what he is fed ends up on the floor and he stops eating--not because he's full but because he's tired of "the game" of eating and ready to move onto another activity. He is a big boy and definitely needs 3 good meals a day and a bit of bottles/sippy cup in between. If he doesn't eat well during the day he wakes at night for a feeding--which is a recent development since we started self-feeding more--before that he had been sleeping through the night (7 pm to 7 am) for at least 6 months without a night-time feeding--so I know he doesn't have to be fed at night unless he doesn't eat enough during the day.

So, this is what I'm doing right now. I give him a bit to self feed--for example, if we're eating spaghetti I give him some of the noodles and sauce to eat--he knows how to suck the noodles into his mouth which is quite funny and cute to watch actually, anyway, then while he is eating I also spoon feed him some mushed up version of what we're eating in order to get him filled up. He is a year old and doesn't like big chunks (or non-mushy) chunks of most foods--he'll spit out the bigger chunks and eat the rest--he kind of gags on them (not talking big things here--just not tiny).

Any other suggestions? I don't want to regress to night-time feedings again. No way!
 
Hi, I do the same as you, feed along while he feeds himself. My son is 22mths and has just recently been able to manage to spoon feed himself 25% of a meal without it falling on the table. Not sure if he's delayed in terms of dexterity but it has taken a really long time for us to get to this point. I foresee another 6mths of me feeding him the half of the meal that he chooses not to feed himself because he is 'bored' and would rather feed the dogs...
 
i think as parents we put a lot of pressure on ourselves for our children to be doing certain things at certain times.
My son was always a bit slower to do things than his peers - swallowing lumpier food, drinking from a cup, feeding himself with spoon/fork, climbing on the playgyms etc
I found that by the age of 2.5 or even earlier he had caught up with them all and was doing everything just fine. I didn't do anything to encourage it - he just got there himself in time.
In the mean time I would keep doing what you are doing!
Having said that I still spoon food into my sons mouth sometimes when he has got bored with feeding himself and i want to make sure he eats a bit more.
 
Thanks Ladies,

I really am not worried that my son is behind or anything...not at all...I would say he is more advanced than the majority of kids his age in a lot of areas. I am just looking for any hints or tips that moms with really active babies use to help their children self-feed. (I need to have my son playing with something while he eats or he won't focus--so I give him a kitchen utensil--a wooden spoon, small siev, measuring cup to play with while he eats). I know he can do it and it's necessary to let him try because I don't want to hold him back from achieving his potential--I feel like the longer I post-pone self-feeding the longer it will take for him to do it. I think he is ready but if anyone has any tips that make self-feeding easier and help the baby get filled up at a meal--especially super active babies like mine--I am really interested to hear. Thanks for all your comments so far too!
 
aussie mum said:
he's only 1 year old right?
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Yep. But he walked at 8 1/2 months, said his first word at 5 months (and first Cantonese phrase at 6 months), can throw a ball (and starting to kick it), crawl up and down on the couch, crawl up and down stairs, put simple puzzles together, point and indicate what he wants and copy words and gestures--he really seems to be about the level of a 16-18 month old in my mind.

He's just extremely busy--and has been since the night he was born (we never got to enjoy the "sleepy newborn" as he slept at the longest 4 hours at a time, day and night until he was 5 months old).

He is really intense--that's why I'm looking for any other tips from moms who might have super active babies and how they managed the self-feeding.

My aunt had 5 children all of them were potty trained by the time they were a year old and self-feeding by that time as well--I'm not gung ho to force anything on my son but he seems to be ready--just want to help with technique. ;0)
 
i guess i don't have any tips because I think he is behaving as one would expect a 12month old to behave. It has nothing to do with being bright, advanced or behind.
I don't know any children of that age and even older who have the ability to focus for the length of time necessary to eat a full meal on their own. you let him feed himself a large part of the meal so I don't see how this is holding him back from achieving his potential.
If he was as ready as you say he is then i would have thought he would be doing it already.
you say that his dexterity isn't that great and 50% ends up on the floor - by feeding along with him as well as allowing him to self feed you are giving him the opportunity to improve his dexterity and exposure to chunkier/lumpier textures and also making sure he eats a sufficient amount of food. It won't happen overnight but by doing exactly what you are doing he will improve over time and when he is ready will be able to self feed.
Maybe your aunt will have tips for you to help it happen quicker.
 
Um, basically regardless of age, give him the spoon and he uses it to eat.
The more times he uses it the better he will become.
I don't think there are any fast solutions.
 
Oh and let him practice without food. we gave our son a 'toy' spoon and bowl (just regular spoon and bowl) and let him pretend to eat and to also let him 'feed' us. helped him get the practice in so he wasn't just practicing at meal times.
 
From watching my kids its all down to whether they want to do it or not. Be careful what you wish for. By 1 year old my daughter only wanted to self feed, with no help what so ever, and she was pretty good at it, but she wouldnt eat alot. Now she is 2, we share the feeding, some herself some from me. I still help my 4 year old, even though he is quite capable, he is simply not interested in food.

Also with regards to your aunt, when you have 5 children they are also forced to learn abit faster - imagine trying to feed 5 kids. As for potty training, to be honest there are many advantages in keeping them in nappies for longer. My daughter is out of nappies daytime by 22 mths, (i was going to wait until 2.5) but now we have the hassle of always carrying a potty and being aware of where toliets are. Trained by 1 is very unusual.

Your son sounds quite normal in what he can do so far.
 
Oh, I'm not talking about self-feeding with a spoon--that would be way too much for him right now--just with hands etc. Anyway, I guess no one has any tips here to offer so I'll just keep with my method. Thanks for your input.
 
Maybe I was thinking he was a bit more advanced because most of the local kids I meet here are barely standing up on their own at 1 and some are not even started on solid food--maybe it's a cultural thing. I just see them kinda sitting there like little lumps and in comparison my son is way advanced. I am all for potty training him earlier because I don't think you have to pack a toilette wherever you go--in my aunt's case--her children could all sit on a regular toilette--when they were young with a little help--but by the time they were 2--by themselves. His Chinese grandparents started putting my son on an adult toilette in the mornings when they knew he had to go when he was about 3 or 4 months old so when he's at their house he uses the toilette a lot. It's not unfeasible--waiting to potty train your child until they are like 3 is sort of a modern Western invention--and precisely because people don't have 5-10 kids anymore (usually)--and yes, when you have a bigger family and you wash all the diapers BY HAND you don't delay in potty training (back in the "olden days"). Besides people in Mainland China and around the world who do "elimination communication" don't pack a toilette wherever they go--they just find a bush ;0) (probably not recommended in HK unless you want to pay a $5000 HKD fine or spend time in jail). Anyway...my aunt isn't the only one I know who has their child self-feeding by hand the majority of the meal at less than one-year-old. It is a good point that it's all up to whether the child wants to or not--my son is very ambitious--today he was packing a full-sized broom around the house "sweeping" the floor for me--when he eats he really eats--but he misses his mouth about 50% of the time--at least it's fun to watch so the entertainment value helps a lot! :0)
 
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Trust me from experience. When potty training in HK, especially with a younger child with less control, carrying a travel potty is a sensible idea.
Public toilets here are few and far between.
 
Matty said:
Trust me from experience. When potty training in HK, especially with a younger child with less control, carrying a travel potty is a sensible idea.
Public toilets here are few and far between.
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So, what do you do, strap it on your back and carry it? How about cleaning it afterward? I say, there is always McDonalds which has a toilette and toilette paper (usually). I'll tell you what, when we get to that point, I will let ya'll know if I'm lugging a baby porta potty around or not. ;0)
 
No real tips on how to start them self-feeding, but I have a tip for later. My LO has just turned two and I noticed a big difference in his feeding skills once I gave him a metal fork as it was just so difficult to get food onto the plastic ones. I also use two spoons to feed him. I load one up with food for him to pick up or use it to push some food onto his spoon just to speed up meal time a little.
 
Portia said:
No real tips on how to start them self-feeding, but I have a tip for later. My LO has just turned two and I noticed a big difference in his feeding skills once I gave him a metal fork as it was just so difficult to get food onto the plastic ones. I also use two spoons to feed him. I load one up with food for him to pick up or use it to push some food onto his spoon just to speed up meal time a little.
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Thanks Portia!
 
i didn't potty train my son until he was 2 yrs 4 months old. he took to it really well and we have never needed to take our own potty with us. I think that may be partly as he was trained a little older and therefore has more control. or just lucky on my part. I do carry a spare pull-up nappy just in case of emergency with no toilets nearby but we are yet to need it.

back to self feeding... when my son was 12months old he would eat pasta with his fork and sometimes with his hands....He found using his small baby metal fork MUCH easier than the spoon and mastered it first. He would also eat whole bananas (holding the banana and biting mouthfuls off)....and toast cut into fingers (with avocado or cottage cheese or some other topping). these were all quite dense filling foods. It is not enough on its own - mashed meals are still required - but if you offer things along that kind of line it might help you progress his self feeding ?
 
On the potty issue, we have a small foldable port a potty. It has a special bag and a pad which soaks up the urine, which can be dropped in a bin. We mostly use toilets, but sometimes if we are out with no toilets around it is perfect.
 
As I said a Travel Potty, foldable, fits in your bag.
You can't always expect a young child to be able to hold it while you find a Mcdonalds and sometimes stand in a queue.
It gets much easier by the time they are nearing 3yrs.
 
Matty said:
As I said a Travel Potty, foldable, fits in your bag.
You can't always expect a young child to be able to hold it while you find a Mcdonalds and sometimes stand in a queue.
It gets much easier by the time they are nearing 3yrs.
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It's funny how this eating thread turned into a potty thread. Anyway...we go out but unlike the people who live in the "heart of the city" we tend to stick closer to home during the week because well...it takes a lot more effort for us to go out --no car--have to wait for the mini-bus (fold up the stroller and get on)--then either transfer buses 2 or 3 times or take the MTR and transfer at least 3 times so probably when we start potty training we'll also stick to the homefront more often. I'm not going to pack a toilette around on my back, I think. I wonder how the teachers and parents who start their kids in some sort of school at 1 1/2-2-years-old (we have one friend that has her child in full-day nursery school at 18 months!) deal with this or even kindergarten at 3. Does the teacher have to change dirty diapers all day long? In that way it would be more like a daycare, I would think. At least when kids start at 5 they are potty trained for sure.
 
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