Homesick
- Thread starter erina320
- Start date
Can you ask her what is it specifically in your old house that she misses? There has to be something in that house that she misses. Is it the space? Did she have a special room (ie: painted in her favourite colour)?
Unless you know specifically what makes her homesick, then you wouldn't know how to replace or find alternatives to make up for that "loss".
Good luck and hope she feels better
Unless you know specifically what makes her homesick, then you wouldn't know how to replace or find alternatives to make up for that "loss".
Good luck and hope she feels better
This is not easy especially if she is missing people. Having an exciting life here and seeing the positive side of Hong Kong could help. Maybe take her on more outings to see things here. Make sure she is getting enough stimulation either at home with creative activities or by attending playgroups or kindy. Having friends here should help as well, especially if she can make 1-2 good friends that she can visit often to play. But a certain amount of missing other places and people is just part of this type of life. My toddler who has never lived elsewhere always wants to come back to HK after a couple days away but when he is here he says he wants to move to live closer to his grandparents.
erina320
Registered User
She misses her toys. We couldn't bring her toys with us and only brought a few of her favorites. She also misses friends and family and the seasons... All things very hard to replace.
I'm hoping when she starts school in a few weeks it will help her. Maybe a trip back home is in order as well.
I'm hoping when she starts school in a few weeks it will help her. Maybe a trip back home is in order as well.
Hey Erina,
I think that starting school is going to help a lot. I think mostly you need to tell her that it's okay to be homesick. I know that I'm an adult who has lived in HK for 10 years and I STILL get homesick--probably at least a few days of every month for different reasons. Teach her the word "homesick" and let her have those feelings but teach her that as she grieves the old life she had before it's important to build a new life here. I think it's important to teach our children to be aware of and okay with their feelings and also how to constructively express them. Maybe have her draw or paint how she's feeling about her life before. Sometimes the reason why children keep bringing things up is that they feel unresolved about it. Maybe letting her feelings out in a constructive manner will help.
At the same time, you do have to help her develop a new life here. If she can plug into HK in different ways--friends, classes, activities, special trips (Have you seen all of the sight-seeing there is to see in HK yet? If not, there is literally something interesting you could do every weekend...pink dolphin watching, hiking, Wetlands Park, junk trip etc.) Explicitly teach her to make memories. You could even start a Hong Kong memory book where you take photos and scrapbook your adventures.
If it's toys--take her toy shopping for a few precious new toys. You can't replace friends and family but let me tell you how great Skype has been for us. My entire family lives in the US and I haven't seen my dad face-to-face in four years because we haven't been able to make it back to the States in that long but at least we can talk online. My son (4-years-old) loves to have Skype conversations with my mother and my sister, especially.
I'll PM you a video we made when he was about 2.5-years-old--he thought he was going to have a Skype conversation with my mom...hence his confusion in the video--it's pretty cute. I think you just have to be more purposeful in long-distance relationships and book times to chat online and connect in other ways. My family sends my children packages once in awhile and it's always very special for them--they learn to savor the small interactions with family. My sister will visit us for CNY this year and my son already has all these plans to play practical jokes on her.
Good luck. It just takes time. If you can make it back home, even better--but that's not always an option (at least for us).
I think that starting school is going to help a lot. I think mostly you need to tell her that it's okay to be homesick. I know that I'm an adult who has lived in HK for 10 years and I STILL get homesick--probably at least a few days of every month for different reasons. Teach her the word "homesick" and let her have those feelings but teach her that as she grieves the old life she had before it's important to build a new life here. I think it's important to teach our children to be aware of and okay with their feelings and also how to constructively express them. Maybe have her draw or paint how she's feeling about her life before. Sometimes the reason why children keep bringing things up is that they feel unresolved about it. Maybe letting her feelings out in a constructive manner will help.
At the same time, you do have to help her develop a new life here. If she can plug into HK in different ways--friends, classes, activities, special trips (Have you seen all of the sight-seeing there is to see in HK yet? If not, there is literally something interesting you could do every weekend...pink dolphin watching, hiking, Wetlands Park, junk trip etc.) Explicitly teach her to make memories. You could even start a Hong Kong memory book where you take photos and scrapbook your adventures.
If it's toys--take her toy shopping for a few precious new toys. You can't replace friends and family but let me tell you how great Skype has been for us. My entire family lives in the US and I haven't seen my dad face-to-face in four years because we haven't been able to make it back to the States in that long but at least we can talk online. My son (4-years-old) loves to have Skype conversations with my mother and my sister, especially.
I'll PM you a video we made when he was about 2.5-years-old--he thought he was going to have a Skype conversation with my mom...hence his confusion in the video--it's pretty cute. I think you just have to be more purposeful in long-distance relationships and book times to chat online and connect in other ways. My family sends my children packages once in awhile and it's always very special for them--they learn to savor the small interactions with family. My sister will visit us for CNY this year and my son already has all these plans to play practical jokes on her.
Good luck. It just takes time. If you can make it back home, even better--but that's not always an option (at least for us).
erina320
Registered User
Thank you Thanka.
All very good ideas. I am also very supportive of allowing children to have their emotions and try very hard to give her the words to express them. In fact Emma is SO good at expressing herself you sometimes forget she's only 3.
We have done a lot in our short time in Hong Kong and I know if we were to leave tomorrow she would miss all of the playgrounds, swimming pools, Disneyland, Discovery Bay beaches (or Discovery Day as she calls it) etc, but honestly the more we do with her the more she becomes a homebody. She flat out refuses to leave the apartment somedays.
Skype is a god send and has made the world a much smaller place. Now if only we could get her Best friend (a 70 year old Grandma surrogate) on it we'd be set.
All very good ideas. I am also very supportive of allowing children to have their emotions and try very hard to give her the words to express them. In fact Emma is SO good at expressing herself you sometimes forget she's only 3.
We have done a lot in our short time in Hong Kong and I know if we were to leave tomorrow she would miss all of the playgrounds, swimming pools, Disneyland, Discovery Bay beaches (or Discovery Day as she calls it) etc, but honestly the more we do with her the more she becomes a homebody. She flat out refuses to leave the apartment somedays.
Skype is a god send and has made the world a much smaller place. Now if only we could get her Best friend (a 70 year old Grandma surrogate) on it we'd be set.
Sounds tough. My son at 4 is pretty "portable"--meaning he lives in the moment so I wouldn't forsee him having the same culture shock/adjustment things to deal with. Maybe in time she'll adjust. Sure hope so.
