Hiring 2 maids, dilemma about days off

M

mintycat

Registered User
As I am expecting another baby soon, we are looking into hiring another maid. My present helper is very good with my 2 year old, has patience and loves children. We are willing to overlook other things such as the fact that she is forgetful and absentminded. The dishes she washes always still have leftover food on them (we bought a dishwasher recently as a result), she forgets to get the mail everyday, she shrinks a lot of my husband's tee shirts despite having told her how to use the washing machine, she doesn't cook well and she is very slow (takes her 40 minutes to change my bedsheets). I don't complain much as I am grateful that she is so good with my daughter. She also doesn't have an attitude problem which we are grateful for.

Her contract is up in the beginning of June. I am going back to work for my family in August (I give birth at the end of May) but I have flexibility in hours and days. We want to hire another helper to help her with some of the household chores and also look after the newborn when I am needed at the office.

She tells me that she HAS to take Sundays off since she plays the guitar at church and she is the only one who plays it at church. I have interviewed a lot of helpers and have decided on one who also has commitments at church on Sundays. The new one tells me she is willing to take 2 Sundays off and 2 Saturdays off. I asked my present one if she can compromise and she said she will talk to her church. She came back to me last night telling me it's impossible as the church will not let her off on Sundays since she is the only one who can play guitar (my mom's maid is friends with her and she told me she doesn't believe she is the only one who plays guitar at church for she has visited her at the church and saw a few people playing guitars there). Anyway, my maid tells me that "to be fair to me and because I have worked here for 2 years, you should tell the new maid that I have preference when to take my day off. She should only take Saturdays off and I get Sundays off." So I said are you not willing to be flexible and she said it's really not possible for her not to take Sundays off. I said what if there is a time when the new one needs one Sunday off in the future, would you compromise? She said, "I don't want to say ok and then I feel unhappy afterwards, so I prefer that only I take Sundays off." What if both me and my husband need to work on Sunday once in a while?!

To be honest, I was a little mad after I had the conversation with her. I am hiring another maid to help lift some work load off her shoulder and she is the one setting the rules here. I always thought she had no attitude but after last night, I am not so sure. She doesn't like ironing bedsheets and my mom's maid is already helping out with that (my helper says she has no time to do that). Do you think she is taking advantage of us? We increased her salary to $4000 last year so I think we pay her well.

For those with 2 maids, what do you do with days off? What do you think I should do? My husband said if she is being so unflexible, then we just won't renew her contract.
 
With our first two helpers, we've asked them to take alternate Sat and Sundays off. Then we had to fire one of them, and we hire another new one to replace her, we gave the helper who was here already the preference, so she chose Sunday, so the other one gets all Saturdays. It worked out for us as
1) we hired through an agent and part of the form they filled out, they have to declare if they are willing to take days off other than Sundays. so they are aware of that before starting.
2) the new helper we hired is new to HK, so she gets her Saturday church routine set up when she gets here.
3) it was a nightmare for me to remember which ones get which days off when they were switching around, it's much easier to remember now

However, having said the above, they are reasonably flexible when we ask them to switch days off etc. especially on extended long weekends. We need some compromises on both sides sometimes, but they do try to work with us. That's why I feel that you should be a bit firmer with your helper and especially as you're hiring this new one or another one, have the ground rules layout BEFORE they start. It's always easier to lay down these rules on a clean sheet.
 
I have two maids and the second started shortly beofe I gave birth.
I also work from home but pretty much full time. My husband works long hours and often does not get Sunday off.
My long term domestic helper continued to have her Sunday off and my new one was employed only on the condition that she would take Thursday off.
They work out a system so that the public holidays are shared around and sometimes my helper gives the other one Sunday off and a Monday if it is a stat holiday.
You are employing two helpers for ease in the house and as I see it, they are grown women in a job share situation. They need to sort it and come up with a solution that will work well for you.
If they can not, you best find someone who is up to the task of job sharing and problem solving.
 
I understand your situation and it can be difficult i am sure having to go back to work again after having a baby. The only defense i have for the helper is that often Sunday's are when all their other friends have days off so for them i could understand why they would want to have sunday's off so they can hang out with their friends, often they don't get a chance in the week because they work so many hours so their time with their friends is very important considering their families are often back home.

I only take that view becuase i would hate it if my husband's work asked him to work on sunday's when that is our day to be together as a family so i think i couldn't ask my helper to do the same.

Could you come to an agreement about the hours, maybe she gets the morning off for Church and comes home a littler earlier in the afternoon and then you could also give her a half day another time?
 
jamesandsimo ~ My present helper is already getting Sundays off. I am asking her to compromise with the new maid and each of them get 2 Sundays off and 2 Saturdays off per month. I am not asking them not to take Sundays off at all. If I let the present maid take all Sundays off, then I am not being fair to the new maid since she has been in HK for over 6 years and she has friends she would like to see on Sundays, right?

kellyst ~ I am hiring directly so there are no papers to fill, so I want to make sure this holiday problem is sorted before I sign the contract with the new maid.
 
Hiring 2 maids dilemma about days off

I have two helpers and thank god for them as I work. The first one has been with us for over 3 years. She introduced her sister-in-law, to work as the second maid. I gave the first helper priority to take Sundays off, therefore the second had to take Saturdays off. There was no way out of this and even though my second maid always says "I wish I could take Sundays off, because all my friends do", I respond by saying that was what was negotiated in the first place and agreed upon. There's no point talking past-tense.

Go find a helper that is willing to take Saturdays off. You shouldn't compromise with them, as having two helpers is supposed to give you extra flexibility, and give them additional support so tasks can be shared. You can't work them to death and must give them a day off, but its all a matter of communication/negotiation. Why hire two maids if it doesn't convenient you?

Another issue you will come across are public holidays, there are those that fall on the weekend. I pay them to take turns working public holidays and they love it, as its extra money for them....

Good luck!
 
This might sound extreme but I would get rid off her. There are plenty of helper's around that are good with children AND do housework properly. You shouldn't have to buy a dishwasher because your helper can't do dishes! That's ridiculous. And the shrinking shirts thing would really annoy me. Sometimes I get the feeling that they think money grows on trees for us and don't care if things get ruined.

I think it's also a bit rough that she won't compromise at all. It's not fair for anyone. The new helper has a right to have Sunday's off every now and then too as it really is the day they all get to hang out. And if you're hiring two helpers it really should afford a greater amount of flexibility. If she were any good you probably wouldn't need the second helper anyway!

Why don't you get two new helpers at the same time so they start out on equal footing and no one gets bullied into doing anything they don't want to do.

Sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that but I honestly believe you don't have to compromise to the extent that you are doing. 40 minutes to change your sheets. What's that?
 
Aussiegal, I don't think it's extreme at all. My husband wants to get rid of her because he thinks she is having the upper hand here. The fact that she will NOT compromise is an indication. I've spoken to a few friends too and they think I should get rid of her too. I have a feeling she will bully the new helper into doing the things she doesn't like to do, like laundry, ironing and changing bed sheets.

She takes 40 mins to change the bed sheet because she keeps putting the blanket in the duvet cover the wrong way. I told her that the blanket is not a square so the tags should be at the end of the bed and the blanket will fit nicely into the cover. She never remembers this and therefore has to do it a few times before she can get it right. Sigh!!!
 
it sounds like besides being good to your child, she's not any good. she doesn't cook nor does she cleans well. she's very absendminded & not efficient. it sounds to me that she feels that you can't live without her so she's counting on you compromising to her. i'm only afraid that she's gonna blackmail you with sth else when she's got her way this time.

i would secretly go about & try to find someone to replace her who is willing to take alternate days off and work with someone.
 
yes, it also sounds like she's gonna bully the new helper to do EVERYTHING ELSE, cos she doesn't do any of those well anyway. but by then you have a newborn & you might be away from home at times. so you might want someone new & fresh, maybe from the philipinnes, who is less experience in manipulating their employers.
(btw, if you've read my thread "am i being mean?" i so regret hiring this current helper cos she has 6 yrs experience in taiwan. i now prefer to hire someone with no overseas experience)
 
oh good, other people agree with me that you should sack her.

She's definitely going to bully the newcomer and then you'll spend all your time looking out for the newbie. Better to start afresh, get two new helpers and set the ground rules when they start. You're about to have another baby, the last thing you need is to worry about how the household is running and to have to fix tensions that will definitely arise if you keep your current helper.

I am quite intolerant of bad helpers. They need to keep in mind who is paying who. If only they could all remember how keen they were to work for you (us) and keep that same attitude they had at the interview rather than over time become more and more arrogant. I know not all are like this but it certainly seems like a lot are. I agree with Joannek that your helper seems to think you can't live without her. Sure, most of us really need our helpers but they are replaceable.

That said being tough is easier said than done. I get my husband to play the meanie and it works a treat since I'm the one who has to get along with her all day long.
 
My husband just talked to her. She said she will NOT budge, no compromise and no flexibility. My She kept saying "I don't have a lot demands, only that I get all Sundays off." So my husband said at the end of the day, she can only get 2 Sundays off and that is that. He told her to go think about it and tell us what she wants.

After the long talk, she is still so uncompromising. I think we probably won't end up renewing her contract. Even if she stays she will take it out on the new maid. But if I let her work til June 8 when her contract ends, I am afraid I will have to put up with her attitude and she will be even less diligent in her work. The new maid comes middle of May. When I am in the hospital for the birth at the end of May (c-section), someone will have to take my daughter to the playgroup.

Sigh, what to do now? The preggo hormones are making me much more stressed than I should be.
 
My daughter goes to playgroups, my mom is here from Canada now but she she leaves in early July. As for my MIL, she is in her mid-70s, so she doesn't leave home much.

I am going to start looking for another maid.
 
Hi, everyone! hi mintycat! please check this link from www.geoexpat.com classifieds section, http://www.geoexpat.com/classifieds...uct/14892/cat/16/limit/recent/date/1175584848 I am desperately looking for a job in HK because i have to support my family back here in Philippines. If you're interested i'm very willing to be interviewed via phone. I am very industrious, trustworthy and multi task person. I can also give you the mobile# of my previous employer for further information about me. thanks so much!:thanks
 
Mintycat get looking right now. You poor thing. When you're so close to having a baby the last thing you need is this kind of stress. I just can't believe how stubborn she is. I'm sure she will be quite surprised to find herself fired or without her contract renewed.

I say as soon as you find someone just pay out the rest of the contract (it's only a month or two) and get rid off her. You don't want her to taint the new helper in any way. She will gossip but worse, she will lead by example so that the new helper coming in will think it's ok to take so long to do anything, to not be able to perform tasks you want etc.

We arrived in Hong Kong only 2 months ago and I needed a helper urgently because of being pregnant (i'm due beg June) and having a 12 month old (at the time). I just couldn't wait that 6 week or so period that it often takes when you bring in a new helper so I checked out the ads that helpers leave in shops etc and found a great one in Taste in Stanley. A lot of people do it this way. Mine has a bit of a smelling issue (!) ha, ha but she can clean, cook and my son adores her. She was able to start within a couple of weeks of us interviewing her because she happened to be leaving her employer so her sister (from the Phillipines) could take her spot with her current employer. Immigration accepted a letter from us saying we needed her urgently and it was all done really quickly. We were very lucky because she had actually already resigned by the time we met her so she only had a week or so left to find a job or get booted out! In your case you might find someone who just wants to leave the current employer enabling you to get them asap.
 
yes agree. when you start having helpers who has attitude like that, better get rid of her with a 'same day' treatment (pay enough compensation by law and ask them to leave right way). it's rough, but helpers are so close to home and your loved ones that you don't know what they would do with stuff in your home. you can't watch their every move.

understand you're hiring direct, so yes, should have the ground rules cleared up first.
 
All my friends warned me against being too accommodating to DH because it is not uncommon that they would ask for more when you give them an inch. Did you explain the consequence (that you would have to let her go) if she wouldn't cooperate on that one request? Perhaps your DH is testing your limit?
 
Is this woman aware of the fact that she has been doing multiple things wrong during her employment? You have been polite enough not to correct her too much in her daily work as you were happy with the way she has been taking care of your child. Fair enough. But she is being soo stubborn now, and not cooperating a bit.
Anyway, when is her contract expiring? Hope it's soon, so you can let her go on the day that it expires. I don't have a maid, but I heard that you may only fire a maid (officially) three times as an employer, so you would save yourself the 'points' if you just let her go on her last day anyways.. just a thought.
:gl: with your future helpers!
 
Thanks for all your responses. Her contract expires June 8. She knows she has done many wrong things in the past I do tell her about them but as politely as I possibly can. When we first talked about renewing her contract a month ago (before I found this helper), she told me she wondered if I will renew her contract because she knows she has done many wrong things before. This is before we found this new helper who also wants to take Sundays off. I haven't signed anything, but can I renege on my "promise" to renew her contract?
 
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