Helper leaving for vacation!

M

meimei

Registered User
Hi everyone,
My helper is leaving for vacation next week for 3 weeks. I'm just wondering if anyone has this experience before and can share what do we need to do to help my 1 year old baby thru this? She is quite attached to her since she takes care of her since birth. Should we make her say goodbye just briefly? I know my helper will miss her a lot, so she probably want to say goodbye for a long time. But i'm not sure if that will be more traumatic for my baby. Pls. advise!
Thanks!!!!!!!!
 
My helper took care of my 2 yr old since birth before going on her holiday for 2 weeks. I was also afraid my son would keep asking for her when she was away. Fortunately he did not even miss her! It was like he woke up one day and just accepted that she was not home. He happily played without her for the 2 weeks and when she came back, he was just as happy to see her. I think most of the time we adults underestimate young children's ability to adjust to changes in their daily lives.Don't worry! I am sure your child is just as happy (probably more!) to spend more time with mommy.
 
My helper is also going away for 4 weeks:((. My main concern is what am I going to do with the cooking and cleaning. Normally I look after my 19mth old son while my helper do those chores or vice versa! Also my helper will do all the feedings as I have no patience to sit there for one hr for each meal (ie at least 3 hrs each day not including snacks). I think those 4 weeks will probably ruin my child's life as I will probably shout or hit my v.naughty 19mth old. What to do???? My mother has strictly said no to us going back to Aust!
 
Thanks kara23 for your sharing. That's good to hear!
Mrs. Momo, Can you find any part time helper or find a babysitter? My mom and her helper is going to come and help me during these 3 weeks. I know I can't cope with it all by myself. I have a friend whose mom flew over from Malaysia and helped her out when her maid was on vacation. So don't underestimate the work there's going to be! Good luck!


mrs momo said:
My helper is also going away for 4 weeks:((. My main concern is what am I going to do with the cooking and cleaning. Normally I look after my 19mth old son while my helper do those chores or vice versa! Also my helper will do all the feedings as I have no patience to sit there for one hr for each meal (ie at least 3 hrs each day not including snacks). I think those 4 weeks will probably ruin my child's life as I will probably shout or hit my v.naughty 19mth old. What to do???? My mother has strictly said no to us going back to Aust!
Click to expand...
 
I am sorry but this thread is just too funny. My helper is on permanent vacation (in other words I don't have one) and I most certainly am able to cope, as will you. You are just not used to it, that is all. It shouldn't take your child an hour to eat, after 20-30 minutes it they still aren't eating, probably not hungry, take the food away and the meal is over. If your house is a mess for a few weeks, while you are adjusting to parenting alone, so be it. Some day it will be clean again. Just have low expectations, try to enjoy the time you have alone with your child.
 
Ha! I'm with you capital! Those of us without helpers manage just fine.

I guess it will be like those first few weeks after you bring the baby home from the hospital, it's a shock at first, but then you get used to it.
 
I agree with Capital too. What happens if the helper is sick for one day....shock horror!!!! You would have to cope. This happened to a friend and she coundn't believe she had to look after the kids on her own and worse still make her own bed!!!

You'll both be fine and actually enjoy having your baby to yourself.
 
Not only is this thread funny...but equally pathetic.

Mrs Momo:

4 wks alone with your child ....
quote:
"probably shout or hit my v.naughty 19mth old"

I hope you're not serious.
 
mrs momo said:
I think those 4 weeks will probably ruin my child's life as I will probably shout or hit my v.naughty 19mth old. What to do???? My mother has strictly said no to us going back to Aust!
Click to expand...

Amused and saddened by your remark and...

I agree with your mum. There's no such thing as a hired help as cheap as those from the Philippines/Indonesia/Thailand etc. So YOU WILL DEFINITELY not cope.
And... I don't know what the law states in HK but it's abuse to shout and hit a 19 month old bub who can't fend for him/herself.
:gl:
 
Wow, I'm sorry, I find you people too judgmental! Everybody is different, mrs momo is just being honest here, no need to judge her! I understand where she's coming from, does it make us a worse mom?? And I don't believe she'll actually hit her baby. My mom never took care of me when I was a baby. I had a nanny since birth, but I don't doubt that my mom is the best mom in the whole wide world. We love each other dearly!



Bumblebzz said:
Not only is this thread funny...but equally pathetic.

Mrs Momo:

4 wks alone with your child ....
quote:
"probably shout or hit my v.naughty 19mth old"

I hope you're not serious.
Click to expand...
 
I think everyone knows that having a helper is a luxury ? just a luxury that we don?t want to be without.

My helper is also on holiday at the moment and I?ve found the only way to cope is to lower my standards. For example the only clothes being ironed are my husband?s work shirts and he?s doing them himself.

If five o?clock has arrived and I?ve still not been shopping I telephone my husband and ask him to bring a take away home. I then make the rice (in the rice cooker) to go with it and it feels like I have contributed to the meal!

If my husband isn?t home for dinner and the weather is nice we go and have a picnic in the park ? the kids are happy and I have no washing up. If it is raining we?ll order pizza ? the kids are still happy and I still have no washing up.

And remember when everything seems like hell on earth ? learn from the experience. I will arrange in future not to return from holiday while my helper is away. I still haven?t managed to get all the washing done and we returned four days ago!
 
I know these type of threads cause alot of discussion, yes i have a helper and i agree they come in very handy when it comes to the house work etc..But I think they make people very lazy not just around the house but lazy parents.

My mother was a young mother with 4 children, there were 18 months difference from the 1st and 2nd child. She lived in a roof of a house, had no car had no money and very little help from my dad oh and no washing machine and drying facilities. (BTW she was living in London in the 70's). She did a fabulous job in raising us all and when we were all older she would take all four of us abroad and one of us would be allowed to take a friend too....all on her own. Non of this helper coming along business!! I can't say it must have been easy for her, but never to this day has she ever moaned. My sisters are now taking the great example from my mum and umm doing this strange thing called raising your own children and cleaning your own house.....ever heard of it....its called a housewife!!!

Then you get people here in HK they can't even look after a poxy little apartment and a baby for a couple of weeks....unbelieveable.
 
I was so worried about taking the baby to an overseas trip without a helper. But everything worked out just fine. The baby adjusted without any problem. In fact, I think he enjoyed spending all day with mum and dad. While it was suddenly a lot of work for me and my hubby, we just coped with it, shared the work and enjoyed the opportunity to bond with our baby. Don't underestimate yourself. You will cope just fine.
 
i think living in asia spoils us a bit
don't believe that where everywhere came from, helpers/nannies are readily available (expensive!)
i don't have a live-in helper. just somebody who comes in to cook and clean the house.
i work from 9am-3pm and my son goes to school from 8am-4pm. I work and then come back home to take care of my child. This is how my mom did it when i was growing up and i believe I can do it as well especially with the help of modern technology --- rice cooker, washing machine/dryer etc.

To each his own really. All depends on the choice we want to make.
 
your child will cope. you can choose to tell him that nanny is going home to see her kids/family & show photos to him, and tell him that she's coming back. or you can choose to do nothing. different children cope differently, but at that age, your child will probably be very happy to stay with mom all day, so didn't notice much the disappearance of the nanny.

as for your home chores, you probably have to work out a schedule for yourself, like putting the clothes in the washing machine the moment you get up, so you can hand them before you go to work. then go to the market during lunch time or just shop for a week at the weekend. make use of vacuum pot for soup & timer for you rice cooker. make use of the ready packed steam spare-ribs pack & mince fish, etc avialable at parknshop & wellcome.

you will survive the four weeks & be surprised how much you can do by yourself.

then when your helper returns, you will know that she is dispensable & you won't give in as much as you used to and your son will be a lot closer to you. one more thing, i've recently learnt that small children, better behave when you talk to them in a low & gentle voice. when you want them to do sth, instead of asking them to do it (and explaining why), you start doing it yourself & he will follow.
 
Hi I never really believe in the helper thing but unfortunately I now realise I will need one very soon. ITs not becoz I think I cant cope with looking after the baby and doing the house work at the same. Its becoz I will need to go back to my full time job soon after I give birth to my first baby. My husband has just set up a business recently and his income is unstable, and it also means I cant give up work either. SO both of us will be going to work during the day, so whose going to look after the baby???
Ah I am so worried, I would really rather to take care of the baby myself (who doesn't?) but we have no choice.
 
I think it's a little sad that parents are dreading their helper going away because it means they will have to look after their baby themsellves....this is something I am trying to understand, but just can't.

I dread my helper going away for different reasons- I hate housework, don't know how to do it, and have no interest in doing it and so when our helper is away the dishes and dirty clothes collect in piles and we eat out a lot!

But to worry about the helper going away because it means 'shock horror,' having to feed your baby yourself, change their nappy, give them a bath, go to them when they wake up in the night, play with them, take them places- that is an alien concept to me.

I can't imagine how a child would feel knowing that Mummy dreads taking care of them when their helper is away!

I am the first to admit that our house without a helper is a pigsty (my husbands words, not mine!) but our son doesn't seem to notice!

Perhaps my opinion is a little harsh but so be it.....a helper is just that, a helper- not a replacement parent!

I know some people think that an attack on people who let their helper raise their baby is an attack on those who work full time but that is not what I am doing- I know plenty of Mothers who work full time, and yet who do everything for their baby when they are at home, and their baby/ies know who Mummy is.

It's sad, I think, when children starting kindergarten, on their first day, cry for their helper and not Mummy; or when they hurt themselves, or are sick, they just want their helper. As a Mum, it would break my heart if my son did that.
 
I guess it all comes down to what you're used to. If you were brought up in a household where Mummy did nothing and the Helper did everything (at least in relation to YOU - the child) then you would probably parent the same way.

Many of us here weren't brought up in these kinds of households - so to think that your entire life would fall apart becasue the helper goes on vacation is just too funny.

1. Hire a part time helper for a few hours a week.
2. Learn to do it yourself - women all over the world do it every day.

It's called a learning curve. (Some of us also call it Parenting.)

There's nothing wrong with having a Helper - many of us have one. But if you're a thoughtful, caring woman and parent, you shuld be able to cope witout oine for a few weeks. Just draw up a plan of what needs to be done and try to be realistic about much cleaning/ironing really needs to be done. Your place may be a mess for a few days, but perhaps you could look at it as a chance to re-connect with your baby.
 
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