Helper for my helper?

T

twinkle

Registered User
Hi everyone,

I have a 15 month old baby and another baby soon to arrive.

My helper is really good with our baby. She is gentle and caring and talks to her all day, which has really helped her development. The problem is that our helper is really not good at much else. She can't cook, doesn't do the grocery, and although she keeps the house tidy, any heavy duty cleaning doesn't really get done unless I start it on the weekends. She just can't seem to manage too many things at once.

My worry is that with two babies to care for, she will be able to manage even less around the house.

I've seen some other families with two kids and two helpers. Is that the norm? I can't really afford or justify that kind of thing.
 
Hi Twinkle

With a baby, it is very difficult to get anything done in the house. If you are working and the maid has to manage the house and baby alone, then taking care of her and keeping the house tidy is quite a bit isn't it ? That way you know she is keeping an eye on the baby and not leaving her by herself while doing something else. A 15 month old can be quite a handful. She should be able to tackle cooking and grocery when you are at home. If you are not working then your maid should be able to do more. With two babies in the house things are bound to get more difficult. Try to relax and not worry too much about getting things done. let it go and enjoy your babies instead...especially if you are working.

I'm a full time mom, have a 17 mth old, no helper and find it very hard to get anything done at home. I barely get any sleep or time for myself. It's rush rush hurry hurry all day long.
But I'm learning to accept it and know that it is short term. Gradually my baby will get more independant, start school and I will have more time for everything or will I ?! I hope so :)
 
Hi twinkle,

Managing a toddler plus a newborn will stretch both the mom AND the maid out. But to me, taking good care of my child is most important and cleaning has to be 2nd, if not 3rd or even 4th priority. I placed all my grocery orders with ParknShop on the net to reduce my maid's need to go out.

When times are difficult, i always remind myself that this is a phase which i and my child will grow out of one day. So hang in there.

Lai San
 
Thanks to both for your replies.

I couldn't agree more that the baby is the first responsibility.

I work full time. I already take care of most of the things around the house. I do all the shopping and cooking. I do things like washing the floors and cleaning the bathrooms on weekends. The dry cleaning and everything else possible is delivered so she does not have to worry about going out. My maid simply takes care of the baby, does the laundry and keeps the house tidy on a daily basis. Even this she does not do very well.

On weekends, she will lock herself in her room, and not help with anything.... the baby or the household chores. I manage both on my only time off.

My worry isn't the things around the house not getting done, although I find that to be an annoyance. It's more that she won't be able to handle the two baby's at the same time.
 
Hi twinkle,

It sounds like getting extra help is the way to go. If you don't feel justified hiring a second maid, is it possible to get other help in the form of friends/relatives/neighbours who can spend time with your toddler? Say a neigbour or his/her maid can bring a playmate over to play with your elder one. One adult should be able to handle 2 toddlers if they were given a safe corner in which to play. But this only gives your maid a breather for an hour or so every now and then.

What about daycare centres? or places like Victoria Nursery where 18 months-old can attend the playgroup by themselves. You may not like the idea (neither do I) but just to let you know that there is such an option out there. But if high frequency of attendance is needed, one may be better off hiring an extra maid moneywise.

Sorry can be of much help.

Lai San
 
Dear twinkle,

I have a 14 months girl and I will have another in mid-Nov. We plan to hire anothre maid on a part-time basis.

I sincerely think it is impossible to manage a toddler, a new-born and the house at the same time (while giving yourself some rest too ... since you are already a full-time mum) with one maid.

It sounds like you have stretched yourself "too much". Think of it this way - it will be temporary. Hire a part-time helper to help out in the house or to take care of your toddle while you take a rest or etc ...

I know of some locals who can work for 8 - 9 hours a day for HK$4K per month (Mon-Fri). The costs etc are negotiable.

Alex
 
I agree that it is hard to manage to keep a house up to pre-child cleanliness but think that your concerns are valid. Children are obviously a priority but would say that mother's all over the world manage to keep house and look after their children without any help whatsoever and that having help is a wonderful luxury that HK allows us to have.

I would suggest that rather than you waste your valuable time at the weekends cleaning you should ask your helper to clean floors, bathrooms and do the ironing on Saturday which is not a maids day off - rather than retreating to her room. As a working mum your time with your child is really precious and you shouldn't be spending time cleaning floors, bathrooms etc. on the only days you have off. Also what is your husband doing whilst you are doing all the cleaning - maybe he could help out as well.

My helper knows exactly what I expect her to do on a weekly basis and that way there is no confusion between us.
 
Hi Twinkle,

Just a thought, have you considered getting a more efficient maid ? Seems like you are doing too much already and your maid should be doing more. Hope your husband is helping out too. With another baby due to arrive soon it's only going to get harder.

Good luck and take care.
 
I'm not sure mothers all over the world manage house, children and work without help whatsoever. The only luxury HK gives us is the 'live-in' maid. In most cultures there are grandparents and relatives helping out. Part-time maids, Nannys, Day-care centeres, Babysitters...they all help depending on which part of the world you are in. If there are women who are doing it all alone they are very very few.
 
Thanks everyone.

I have thought about getting a more efficient maid. The thing is that mine is so good with our baby. I keep hearing horror stories about maids who don't take care of the babies at all. She spends all day talking to her and making up games, which I really appreciate. As a result, my 15 month old has an incredible vocabulary (albeit with a Philippino accent).

My husband tries to help, but it's more like keeping the baby busy while I do the chores. It's nice, because I can have her around while I work and not worry about her getting into the cleaning supplies.

I've tried to get my maid to help me on Saturdays, but everything then takes 3 times as long, and she has a tendency to ruin things. I had to start hiding my laundry from her, because my work clothes kept getting bleached or shrunken. At least when I do things myself, the house will be clean by noon, and we can relax for the rest of the day. If she does things, she will be cleaning all day, so we don't have any rooms of the house where we can get some private family time.

It sounds like part-time help is my answer. I wonder if I can just get someone to do the cleaning and shopping a few days per week. If anyone has recommendations for trustworthy part-timers, I would greatly appreciate it.
 
What nationality would you prefer ? Local (Hongkongers), Philippines etc ? Of course, the costs of the locals are more expensive for the same number of working-hours.

I know one local who might be available from mid Sept. onwards. Her number 9331-6488. She knows that you might call her. Simply interview her like any others since I don??t really know her. I have met her a couple of times when I was on leave and while I was taking care of my baby. She seems trustworthy.

A
 
there is a book called the "helpers helper" and if your maid can read then please do both you and her a favour and buy her a copy!
It will not only help you but will tell your maid what is expected of her. Teaches basic cooking, cleaning etc so she wont have an excuse to ruin anything anymore.
I have been through quite a few helpers and trust me, those horror stories - i lived through it! Yes, it is essential to find a maid who spends quality time with your child, but be warned, if you let her, she will slack off! You HAVE to tell her what is expected and DO NOT feel guilty as she would have been well aware of this before working for you (did you ask for refrences from previous employers? what did they say?) Most maids will become lazy if you let them, i have learnt this from both my personbal experience and from friends. It may sound harsh but you are paying money so you can have quality time with your child - and NOT have to be doing household chores!! She should NOT be running off to her room and hiding.
TALK to her, as it sounds she maybe unhappy -maybe misses home or finds it all to difficult for her. If she says nothing is wrong then proceed with the above.
Good luck ;-)
 
Hi Anna,

Funny you mentioned the book "Helpers Helper". We'll be launching a new promotion shortly and will be giving out free copies to members.

Stay tuned for details!

Rani
 
Domestic Helpers needed here!

Hi,

I am a new member and am now seeking for a helper who can take care of my 11 months old baby urgently. Do anyone of you have a good referral of the agencies or from your existing maid?

your response and help is much appreciate.

chestermom
 
Please try Central Link Agency.

It is in Central (Wellington Street). I tried it twice and found the standard of their applicants were good. In fact, I hired my maids twice from it. Tel is 852 - 2851 0230, look for Miss CHENG (tell her is friend of Mrs Cheung who lives in Kornhill).

Please specify your requirements to them, say age, yrs of experiences in HK and with the same employer, etc. And they will do a first round screening for you to save your time.

Good Luck! :dance: :cheers: :cheerlead
 
Hi Twinkle,

I am a bit late to this forum, but just came across it. Twinkle, I am in the exact same position. I have a 15 month old and a two-week-old and I am going back to work full-time around April/May, if not earlier. I am also looking for a part-timer to help my maid out as she has admitted she won't be able to cope. My maid has been good with the 15 month old, keeps a tidy, clean house, but needs constant guidance as she has no initiative. She has fallen to pieces since I've been home from the hospital and the last couple of weeks have been pretty trying. Now I know that it would be hard even for a mom to cope with running a house and looking after two babies, but I figure that's one of the perks of living in HK -- the help. Otherwise, I may as well go back to Oz and at least I can put my toddler in childcare a couple of times a week. Anyway, it was good to hear someone else having the same problems. I have started looking for part-timers. Would like to know if you have found one and how things are working out for you.

ACP
 
I have a part-time helper (Hong Konger). She is very good and efficient. I got her through the Labour Dept (23174567 or 28663256), no agency fee and is legal. I pay her HKD50 per hour and have her to come in twice a week for about 5 hours. The dept called two weeks later to check whether she is ok and if she is not, they will get another one for me. The only problem is she doesn't speak English (which is fine with me because I can speak Mandarin). So, if you are calling the dept, make sure you ask for a helper that can speak English. Good luck!
 
Hi Rafa, you can also call ReadyMaid Agency, 31882826 or 31882827 my Australian friend found an excellent nanny-helper who took Caregiver Course for a better knowledge on taking care of babies and toddlers. Their professional service is quite appreciated.
 
Hello Twinkle,

Sent you a private message.

Thanks.


twinkle said:
Hi everyone,

I have a 15 month old baby and another baby soon to arrive.

My helper is really good with our baby. She is gentle and caring and talks to her all day, which has really helped her development. The problem is that our helper is really not good at much else. She can't cook, doesn't do the grocery, and although she keeps the house tidy, any heavy duty cleaning doesn't really get done unless I start it on the weekends. She just can't seem to manage too many things at once.

My worry is that with two babies to care for, she will be able to manage even less around the house.

I've seen some other families with two kids and two helpers. Is that the norm? I can't really afford or justify that kind of thing.
Click to expand...
 
Dear Twinkle

I couldn't agree more with the last 2 replies. 1. You should not clean on Saturday your helper should. She is already doing very little except being a babysitter.
2.Find a new one. So many need and want jobs. Just make the schedule clear while explaining that the babies are 1st priority, but you need help catching up with cleaning on Sat.
Certainly getting a second is not the answer.
 
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