I have written a daily schedule for our helper as per the 'helper's helper ' book. What I was wondering though is what sort of rules everyone sets for their helper. Also, how do they address you? Is it inappropriate for them to call you by your first name?
I always tell them to call us by our names - but they always ended up calling us "ma'am" and "sir". Although our first helper started to call me by name after her second contract (I think). I don't want to make a big deal of it - so whatever they want to do is fine. I call them by their names (after asking their permission).
The children call our helpers "Auntie" X. I did this partially because from what I understand of Filipino culture, it is the polite way for children to address women who they interact w/ intimately (e.g. not Miss. Y, like at school). Also because in Chinese it's also the polite way ('though one has to be careful and now that I am a "certain age" I call any woman who appears to be under the age of 65, "JieJie").
When I refer to the helper in the third person to the kids, I'll call her "Auntie X".
When starting our helpers off, I explain very seriously that I expect our kids to be polite and obedient. That when she is there and I am not, she is my substitute and the kids must treat her and her requests and instructions w/ the same respect that they would my own. Infractions should be reported to me or my husband and we will discipline the children.
I also explain to them that if our household is a ship: Husband and I are the captains - she is the First Mate; the kids are the crew.
The kids carry their own back packs, put their own clothes in the hamper; wipe up their own spills; carry their plates to the kitchen, etc.
If you have an infant, of course many of these things are beside the point (for the time being) but I think it's good to think about these things right from the beginning and also consider how the children will be soothed and disciplined.
For example, I've heard some helpers threatening kids w/ a "policeman" if they do not obey. I believe very strongly in only giving threats that will happen. I prefered that my helpers threatened my kids w/ tell *me*
Other rules:
No hitting the kids
Don't buy junk-food for the kids (even if they BEG)
Report all breakage & ruined things immediately
Generally no sleeping out (except for special holidays with our agreement)
Don't borrow $