Helper and basic hygiene

Gracey

Registered User
We generally like our helper, who's been with us since June. We picked someone who was a 30-something mother herself, a college grad, and who has lived in HK before. We didn't want to do tons of training.

She seems responsible, calm, good with the baby, good with housework, normally intelligent, etc.

But I noticed she didn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom. My husband and I checked a few times and listened to the toilet flush and... nope, no running water. She's go straight from the bathroom to handling an infant or preparing food.

I was embarrassed about bringing it up, so I made up some small talk. "I bought this special anti-bacterial soap for your bathroom for you to use..." She didn't get the hint. So finally I commanded that she wash her hands after going.

At first, she only did so when she was going to handle the baby. We had another conversation. I was so mortified to say these words to a fellow adult. "You must wash your hands every time you poo or pee."

My dad noticed she used the same kitchen sink where we soak Chinese vegetables for rinsing out dirty mops, etc., instead of using the plastic pail.

Speaking of vegetables, when she started, she would try to cook vegetables that were totally unwashed, with clumps of dirt left on mushrooms.

Once I caught her before she cleaned out the cat's litter tray in that same kitchen sink! We had a long talk about separating waste -- human and animal -- from food preparation. She now rinses the litter tray elsewhere.

She's obediant. She has taken all my directions to heart, but I don't think the larger lesson sank in about basic hygiene. No offense to the Philippines, but no wonder there are still diseases among children there from dirty water or lack of hygiene.

It's so frustrating. I don't want to be the kind of Chinese employer who watches her helper like a hawk and complains about "dirty Filipinas."

But how does a 30-something not know this stuff?
 
I'm pretty sure the YWCA runs a hygiene course, it may help to send her to that to reinforce the message.
 
Gracey, I think the only thing you can assume is that if you want something done you need to be really explicit to your helper. I think there are different hygiene levels and expectations between different countries and even different households. Be glad that you helper has a good attitude and takes it on board and changes what she does. I've had the experience where the helper becomes very sulky when picked up about basic hygiene issues.

The other thing to watch out for is if they do things when you are looking and then revert to their old bad habits when you're not looking. Unfortunately not that much that you can do if this happens except to start afresh or accept it. One of the many issues when you don't look after your own babies...sigh....
 
Thanks guys!
I hope my comment wasn't too harsh. I didn't mean to stereotype. And I didn't mean to be mean-spirited about ill children in poor countries. (I tried to take that sentence after out but the website wouldn't let me!)

@ Mummymoo -- I am lucky because my helper is cheerful and willing to learn. She's not sulky and has not taken my suggestions badly. I think she will continue to follow my instructions because she seems to genuinely care for the baby. I think she just didn't know.

I hear you about taking care of our own babies. Right now, I'm at home all day and able to notice this stuff. When baby is 5-6 months, I will have to go back to work.
 
maybe do a search of diseases that are transmitted via unsanitary practices? then present the outcome to her? (in as vivid detail as possible! include photos!)

do it for food hygeine and toilet hygeine... maybe that will help?
 
Here's the course and link that JVN mentioned. Sound interesting and certainly very useful:

http://www.esmdywca.org.hk/Courses/CourseDetail.aspx?type=subcategory&id=1000318&courseid=1007854

Health & Hygiene for Helpers

Course Code CHP129
Start Date 11 Oct 2011
End Date 18 Oct 2011
Times 10:00AM - 12:00PM

Days Tuesday
Member Fee 460.00
Non-Member Fee 530.00
Total Session(s) 2

The first part of this course covers vital subjects such as personal and kitchen hygiene, correct food storage and best practices to avoid cross contamination.

In the second session, the focus will be on nutrition; from protein-rich meat and fish, to vitamin-packed fruit and vegetables. Learn how to eat a balanced diet and maximize the health benefits from food.

A certificate is awarded to everyone who completes the course.
 
My helper now washes her hands constantly! So that's good.
But yesterday, when I was Bfing and talking to my husband in the living room, I noticed she was standing at my kitchen counter clipping her nails. (We have an open kitchen / LR area). And she was doing it on top of one of my clean kitchen towels I used for dishes and cooking.
Sigh. Should I bring this one up, too?
BTW, she doesn't live here, so I don't know why she's attending to personal hygiene while on work hours. But the main thing is I don't want to find some stray dirty fingernail in my food later!
 
That's really, really disgusting. I would have picked her up on it straight away but I get how hard it is to say these things to other adults. Your comment

I was so mortified to say these words to a fellow adult. "You must wash your hands every time you poo or pee."

Totally rings true. This would be another one of those times....sigh.....
 
just a side note:

i read on yahoo!news a couple of days ago that 80% of mobile phones in the UK have been detected to have feces on them!

their conclusion was that a lot of people lie about their personal hygeine....

ewwwww! don't think i will ever borrow another mobile phone again! yikes!
 
carang, that is TOTALLY disgusting. I'm forever wet wiping my phone but it's probably useless given my hubby doesn't wipe his and I use it...arghhhhhhh.....
 
I don't know why I'm such a wimp with her. I'm very straightforward with people at work when there is something wrong. But I somehow feel so embarassed to tell her things, like don't cut your fingernails on my kitchen counter! Maybe I will say something on Monday, but it feels weird to tell her 2 days later.
 
Gracey, don't be so hard on yourself, I completely understand how you feel. At work it is a completely different thing, like I don't agree with the way the project is going, why don't you do this....it's not that personal, it's more job related. For things like this, it seems personal in a way.....not sure if it really is, because for helpers it is their job, but it does seem to be personal (coming from my mouth, my perspective) anyway....
 
the thing is.... it IS personal... it is her personal hygiene that is leaving a lot to be desired.

i once worked with a welsh woman who didn't wear deoderant... it was awful having to stand beside her! but how do you tell a grown woman that she stinks?
 
Eeeuw! What's this crunchy thing in my sandwich? Oh a nail!

It is awkward to remind someone about their personal hygiene. Sometimes, I can get away by reminding my child about manners & hygiene in front of the helper so she also realizes how important it is. But if you don't have a toddler to rebuff some potentially embarrassing issues, you might have to just steel yourself for an uncomfortable situation by talking to her.

Good luck Gracey!
 
Hi Gracey,

I share your frustration so so much. I guess I'm afraid to confront my helper about hygiene issues because although I take care of my baby myself, I still very much rely on her to do the cleaning and cooking for my baby, and she can easily do creepy things if she feels I have offended her. I also freaked out when I saw my helper cleaned the mop in our kitchen sink, is that where they clean the mop in their country? and I can go on and on with similar anecdotes.

For my baby's sake, I try to keep my helper happy, i smile at her even when I'm mad like a cow with her. it's sad, but this seems to be the only way for us...
 
@ yvonnewyw, if this is really the case you need to hire a new helper. You shouldn't need to try top keep your helper to prevent some sort of petty revenge. Believe me, when you get the right helper, you won't need to tiptoe and feign your emotions around her!
 
Sorry typo...

@ yvonnewyw, if this is really the case you need to hire a new helper. You shouldn't need to try top keep your helper HAPPY to prevent some sort of petty revenge. Believe me, when you get the right helper, you won't need to tiptoe and feign your emotions around her!
 
I guess I'm afraid to confront my helper about hygiene issues because although I take care of my baby myself, I still very much rely on her to do the cleaning and cooking for my baby, and she can easily do creepy things if she feels I have offended her. I also freaked out when I saw my helper cleaned the mop in our kitchen sink, is that where they clean the mop in their country? and I can go on and on with similar anecdotes.
For my baby's sake, I try to keep my helper happy, i smile at her even when I'm mad like a cow with her. it's sad, but this seems to be the only way for us...

Many of my HK relatives presume that Filipina maids have some sort of evil / vengeful agenda to punish or harm them. I have no idea why -- maybe too many fearmongering stories in the local press. I think HK Chinese presume the worst intentions first. They will jump to conclusions that the helper is stealing, cheating, or harming.

But, in these cases, I think it's just ignorance. Why do you assume that your helper cleans the mop in the sink to harm you? Probably she just doesn't know. Yes, maybe that is the way things are done in their country. Have you traveled much to the poorer parts of Southeast Asia? There are many households without clean running water yet, much less multiple sinks.

My helper has hygiene issues, but I don't sense any malice. Once I told her to wash her hands, she did. As for the fingernails, gross as it is, I don't think she was sneaking around trying to dirty my food! The fact that she did it casually while standing right in front of me makes me think that she thinks this is normal behavior. On Monday I will tell her it's not acceptable, and I'm sure she will stop.

Why don't you just tell your helper how you want things done? Do you have any PROOF that she would do "creepy things" on purpose out of spite? Why can't you just say "please clean the mop in another place?" I think pretending to smile while you're mad is a really bad way to live.
 
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