Help! Sleep issues 15 month old.

S

starbucks2

Registered User
The last 5 days our 15 month old has been standing up in her cot and resfusing to sleep (crying constantly) and/or waking in the night (btw 1am and 4am) and screaming. She is quiet when we go in but stands up in her cot and will not lie down. We think she may be teething so have been giving her panadol and teething gel but no luck getting her to sleep. This happens both at lunchtime naps and evening bedtime. We've tried patting, staying in the room for a bit and also controlled crying but none of it is working. We do not want to rock her to sleep/cuddle to sleep as want to keep the good sleep habits we had and not get into the trap of her needing this to go to sleep and to go back to sleep. At lunchtime today she cried/screamed on and off for 2.5 hours and had no sleep at all! Every time we went in, she'd stop crying and when we got her up during this period for her milk (after 1.5 hours) she just lay her head on the couch so clearly exhausted but refusing to sleep in her cot. 2 nights ago she cried on and off for 2 hours between 1am and 3am and last night cried for an hour from 7pm before she finally went to sleep.

Any ideas?? Suggestions?? Controlled crying doesn't seem to be working unless we still need to give it more time?

Thanks - she is keeping everyone in the house awake (including her older brother) and generally stressing us all out!
 
Hi, my son is also 15 months and we went through something similar a few weeks ago. At the time we put it down to teething and separation anxiety. During the day if he didn't want to sleep we didn't push the issue, we just made sure he was completely worn out before naptime and in the evening before bed. I'm wondering if maybe your daughter is trying to tell you that she doesn't want a daytime nap anymore, have you tried skipping it altogether? If she's anything like my little man she could just be asserting her authority and being stubborn about sleep (we have the same toddler behaviour at dinner!).

As for the night waking we did go back to bad habits, cuddling and the occasional bottle just to get some peace, and thankfully there was no harm done. The whole sleepless period was over as suddenly as it had begun and he simply started sleeping really well again. I have no idea why or what changed, so can't give you much advice unfortunately, but I'm very grateful that we're all sleeping again! The only advice that I can give is that you should do whatever's right for all of you and try not to worry too much about bringing in bad habits. It's just a phase and it will pass. Hope you get some rest soon!
 
About four month ago, my then 18 month refused to nap and sleep. It was a terrible weekend for us. We had him CIO but he figured out that if he vomitted, we would rush in and take him out. ( We saw him putting his finger in his month when crying to get himself throw up).

What finally worked was that I lay down on the couch with him, pretending that I was sleeping. We made the living room dark and turned on a radio between stations to make the white noise ( he always goes to sleep with this noise on). He came to lay next to me. He was exhausted from not napping and crying already so it did not take him long to fall asleep next to me. We then carried him carefully to his room and put him down in his crib.

I was afraid that this might become a bad habit for him. But we tried everything and the only thing we wanted is that he would sleep. After about one week of this new ritual, he slowly agreed to have one of us to lay in his room with him while he is in his crib to fall asleep by himself. ( we have a twin bed in his room all the time, it was mostly used as a changing table and now it comes in handy. We just lay there with our back against his crib, pretending that we are sleeping too). We then tiptow out of his room and leave him there on his own.

He only wakes once and rarely two times in the middle of the night though. Sometimes he wants me to stay there until he falls back to sleep. But he is OK with the helper coming in the middle of the night to give him milk and leaves him to fall back to sleep in his own.

Hope this would work for you too.
 
Thanks both. It actually just helps to hear we are not alone in these sleep struggles (not that I would wish them on anyone else!).

BLWC - we have been having eating issues too where she just keeps saying no and refusing to take the spoon so it could be the beginning of toddler power struggles. If she would lie down then I am sure she would fall asleep as she is exhausted but because she stands then she stays awake.

Carey - thanks for the suggestion. I often hear people say "sometimes you have to cheat to win" and I can understand just needing to get some sleep and if lying in with your toddler works then sometimes you just have to do it. I did stand there last night when she went to bed at 7pm with my hand on her chest as she lay in her cot and she did drift off to sleep while I was still there. I really want her to keep the good skills she learnt of going to sleep on her own and not waking up to find I have snuck out (because that is when the wailing would really begin)! But I just wasn't up for a struggle and an hour of crying last night so I did cheat and stay with her. As it happens she slept through with just a little crying out twice in the night for a few minutes.

Will see what she is like for her lunchtime nap today. I wouldn't have thought that she no longer needed a nap at 15 months old and she is exhausted when she gets up having not slept at lunchtime. Wondering if I should put her down at 1pm instead of 12 noon and see if an extra hour up means she is more tired. Thoughts? It could of course make her more tired/overtired which might mean she still doesn't sleep!

Aiyah!
 
I'm glad to hear that someone else is having dinnertime battles! It's exhausting but we have had a good couple of meals this weekend so I'm hoping I have it figured out.

Starbucks2, are you getting any sleep? Your little one probably does need a nap but she may be using naptime as another opportunity to assert herself. We have been playing it by ear with daytime naps and putting our son down when he is tired. It's normally close to the same time every day but there's never a fight if I exhaust him in the morning and let him tell me when it's time to go to bed. Ironically, he sleeps better at night if he has a good daytime nap.

Hope that helps!
 
Thanks BLWC. She has been a little better with eating the last few days as we have been limiting afternoon snacks so she is hungrier for dinner. Also giving her more control with the spoon herself. It has helped a lot. Sleeping better at night too (touch wood) and even a little nap 30 mins - 1 hour at lunch. We want to try and put her down for sleep at the same time as her big brother which does limit the time of the start of her nap. She has never been good at naps (her brother is brilliant at napping!) and never really napped longer than 1.5 hours; on a good day 2 hours. Will keep persevering ... good luck to you too.
 
Hey everyone, our 17month old started waking in the night as well and not sure what to do. I have a 2 month old so I'm cosleeping with him while my hubby is taking care of the 17month old when she cries. I guess we should try the CIO method.
 
i take the easy way out when my daughter wakes up / cries in the middle of the night...I give her some milk and normally she will go back to sleep. i haven't tried the CIO method as I have another in the next room and I don't want to babies awake (which happened once at 3am ! - a COMPLETE nightmare!) but luckily for me, she WILL take the bottle at any time and then fall right to sleep again...not very good for training, but it solves the problem right away...
 
Hi Banane76. Your toddler is probably feeling a bit insecure at the moment due to the new baby, especially if you are sleeping with the baby and not her. She might just be looking for attention and security from you. I'm not sure that now would be a good time to try CIO for that reason (I'm not anti CIO, have done it with both my kids). Unfortunately there is no easy answer. Try to make sure you spend lots of time cuddling, reading to etc your toddler when you have a few mins (I know it can seem impossible to find a few mins, and I am sure you are already doing all this). Are you managing to put her to bed yourself? If not, that might help if you can find a way to do it.

Starbucks2 - not sure when your 15 month old is getting up in the morning, but it may be that 12pm is too late for her nap. You could try bringing it forward to 11 or 11.30 if you can (I know it is nice to have both kids nap together, but sometimes it doesn't work well for them). My son just turned 2, and it is only in the last few months he could comfortably last until after 12. I tried to push it back but he just slept for half the amount of time, so we went back to 11 ish and he would sleep 2-21/2 hours. A lot of 15 month olds are still having 2 naps a day. How long is it since yours dropped to 1? Sometimes you have to try a few days to a week of one thing and if it doesn't work then try another. Eventually something will work!

These are all just thoughts and I am in no way an expert! I had 2 kids who napped/ slept completely differently. Just some ideas of things that worked for me. www.babycentre.co.uk or www.babycenter.com or .com.au has some good stuff on sleeping if you can find any time to read anything! Good luck.
 
Thanks AngieO and Lesliefu. Not sure if we'll give her a bottle, but maybe that will help. Will try to give her extra cuddles though. I do try especially now that the new one isn't eating every hour and now try to go to the playground for part of her playtimes. And I do usually try to put her to bed myself each night unless the other one is crying. You might be right that she's feeling a bit insecure. Little one starts out on his own in the bassinet but in the morning, he does end up with me and she does see that. I'm sure it will get better, but it's tough. I wish our beds were big enough and that she isn't such a mover when she sleeps :)
 
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