HELP NEEDED!! Sleeping INDEPENDENTLY!!

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nubymom

Registered User
My paediatrician suggested that it's time to teach my 9 month old son to fall asleep independently. My 9 month old needs me to hold him or carry him plus walking around the house to rock him fall asleep! He only have short naps during the day if being carried, otherwise he'd just cry and cry continuously and wont fall asleep. I usually hold him after a few mins he starts crying. People told me if baby doesnt sleep well, they wont eat much. My 9 month old is a bit underweight since 2 months old. I dont know what to do.

Any experiences on teaching babies to fall asleep. Please HELP!!
 
I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. My 8 months ds is now falling asleep on his own. He used to be carried and rocked and couldn't put him down when he was asleep until he was 6 months old.

Let me know if u need help.
 
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i would say DO what's best for you and your little one and DON'T do anything just because the doc has told you. you probably won't be able to change your baby's sleeping habits in a short while, so first figure out what's best for yourself and the baby and then slowly start trying out something new. RELAX and don't let yourself be put under pressure by people who only know your situation from occasional visits! good luck!
 
i agree with mosmom. Parents are the ones who know their child best. You should try to figure out why he needs you to carry him to sleep --- is it the feeling of security, getting used to the warm cosy hug from you etc etc...

You may try to start putting him down beside you when he's very sleepy, but not yet fallen asleep, such that he's aware that you're no longer carrying him. Sing or talk softly to him to let him know you're there until he falls asleep. Hope it works!!
 
Thanks for all the feedback! I'm gonna get the book to see what other methods I could try. In the meantime, will continue carrying him and try what anpanbaby suggested to see if that works with my 9 month old.

:thanks
 
Hi - I had the same problems as you - my baby would not go to sleep on his own but at 9 months i was pregnant again and he is a big boy 12kg so I had to stop the carrying. Still I bought the Healthy Sleep habits Healthy child and even though i tried crying it out once or twice it did not seem the way to go for us so the book was not great for us. That said I beleive strongly that once the baby learns to fall to sleep on their own they will sleep longer at night and the day. it just depends how you want to get them to that point. I did do some crying it out at night but I never left the room and always there to reassure him (sometimes I think this made it worse but at least he knew i was there)- this was to put him to bed and later I would not pick him up in the night (the first night took two hours of crying at 2am as he was used to being picked up but never happened after that). I basically would lie him back down when he stands up but keep telling him time to sleep etcc etc. He has the hang of it now a(15months) and is pretty good night and day although I have to say walking really helped with day sleeping as much more tired. I still stay in the room when he goes to sleep and often have to keep a hand on his back but he mostly sleeps through so I am happy with that. but it is different for everyone - i'm sure if i was stronger I could leave the room and he would learn but happy for now and I think they get better as they get older. he always goes to sleep by himself and knows he is in the cot so that is the main thing - I do think personality plays a part. oh and when he is sick it changes again - he needs to be picked up and sleep in arms etc but i think we all like more comfort when sick and he always gets back on trackas soon as he is well again. sorry long post I just know how hard it is - let me know if you need more info - i bought lots of books - I liked baby whisperer solving all your problems but I think it just depends on your point of view and what you are happy with.
 
Another Book you might like to try is No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
http://www.shopinhk.com/the-no-cry-sleep-solution-gentle-ways-to-help-your-baby-sleep-t-pr-290.html

La Leche League?s review of the book
This book provides a gentle approach to sleep training for parents who believe it necessary to modify baby's sleep habits without resorting to the cry-it-out methods. It offers easy-to-use charts to see where you are in the beginning, what your plan for getting your baby to sleep will be, and measuring your progress. The ideas presented are common sense solutions to a problem that is seen as monumental for many new mothers. LLL does not agree with the cautions against letting baby fall asleep at the breast or holding a sleeping baby or child.

Elizabeth was interviewed for a podcast at the LLLI conference in 2005 and this is available at http://www.llli.org/podcasts.html?m=0,0,8#nocry

Best wishes,
SARAH
 
I agree with Rach and others who have said that it really is a personality thing and you really have to see what works best for you and your baby. My mom and sisters said that I should just let my son cry it out (at 6mos back then) and boy could he cry - it was painful, for me and for him. And when he did sleep, it wasn't a deep sleep - I think he was fretting over the fact that I might not be around. So I decided that we would continue our routine of singing and rocking him to sleep in our arms before we put him down into bed. Tiring for us but it meant that he would actually fall into a much more deeper sleep. After awhile we started cutting down on the amount of singing and rocking, slowly helping him to adjust to not relying on those motions to get to sleep.

Since he turned one (he's now 21mos), nap time consists of me lying down beside him or sitting beside him (if he's really tired already), and just gently reminding him that he needs to sleep and telling him he had a busy morning, etc. and he's good with that. For nighttime, he sleeps on a cot beside our bed but he's been pretty good at sleeping on his own for quite awhile now though he does ask to hold my hand every once in awhile.

Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself or your son if he doesn't get around to sleeping independently immediately - it will take time.
:flower:
 
listen to your heart. if it doesn't feel right to let him cry, then don't. mothers know best. your ped's suggestion is easy for him to say cos he's not the mom listening to her baby crying. & it depends what age your ped is. i think the older generation believe we shouldn't "spoil" our babies by carrying them. i used to believe in that and struggled for so long cos my daughter would cry so loud & long if we didn't rock her to sleep. she'd vomit & make a big deal and it drove me crazy. it was because i wanted her to learn to "fall asleep by herself". once i accepted that she's just a baby & it won't be long before she didn't need us to carry her, it was OK for me emotionally.

we did carry her to sleep until she was around 2. one day i just told her she's too heavy to be carried & i sat next to her & put my hand on her to let her feel secure. and she was OK with it.

she just turned 3, and we only carry her at night when she's not well. but once she's drowsy, she wants to go bed by herself.

i think babies are only small for so long. by he's 3, you can't carry him or he won't want you to carry him. so it's only gonna be 2 more years down the road (i know it sounds like a long time to you). look at it this way, it's just 2 or 3 years in his, what, 70, 80 years of life? carry him as much as you want to now, since he's still so small & light. when he's 10, you'll look back & be glad you carried him as much as you could. cos he won't let you carry him after he's 10 even if you beg him!!

good luck with motherhood!
 
I agree with Joannek. Babies are only small for so long. I first put my DD down in her crib to sleep on her own when she was around three months' old because I wanted to write something in my journal. To my surprise, she fell asleep by herself. Now, at around six months' old, she goes to sleep by herself - sometimes, with me sitting next to her crib, writing or reading my book and other times, without me in the room with her. Even though I thank my lucky stars for her ability to put herself to sleep, I miss holding her when she is sleeping. She actually WANTS to be put down to sleep. I think every baby is different and we should just go with the flow and do what we feel is best for our babies. There's no right or wrong and they all outgrow this wanting to be held stage eventually. So, enjoy it while you can. I just wish that I had more time, rocking my baby to sleep, strange as it may sound!
 
My baby is 13 mos old and we always do story time and then I nurse him, sometimes sing, and he falls to sleep. He has always slept with us in the family bed. I would go with what you feel is right. My doctor in the US was a very progressive guy--he never recommended sleep training. It can sometimes take a long time for him to fall asleep, but I know most people say that they learn to do it on their own eventually. Don't go by weight charts too much, if you are nursing your baby, it is probably the right weight.
 
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