HELP NEEDED! Sleep for a 4.5 month old

babi77

babi77

Registered User
Dear Friends,

My baby 4.5 months old, sleep schedule is kind of below:

Morning nap - 9:30 to 11:30
Afternoon nap - 2:00pm to about 5:00pm (with crying or need cradling along)
Evening - only maybe take a cat nap from 7:00pm to 8:00pm

then the problem arise, he'll be so fussy at about 9:00pm till 11:00pm, then I must nurse him at about 11:00pm and put him down on his bed at midnight, and then he'll wake up at 5am

I believe he's sleeping too few, I mean the night sleep, I know some babies can sleep from 10pm to 8am, but for sure, that's not my kid. After he wakes up at 5am, he will sleep again from 6:30am to maybe 8:00 am and then the whole routine set in again.

Also he's so fussy before sleeping, must cradle, rock or nurse, until he';s totally asleep, so each time is kind of like 2hours sleep battle.

After reading other board messages, I'm wondering, should I really put him on his bed and let him cry on his own....you know as a mother, is really sometimes hard to listen him crying...

PLS HELP US! Nanny and mother are exhausted already

Babi
 
it may be that your child is too tired...it is difficult for babies that are too tired to fall asleep... maybe try putting him to bed earlier... and not wait until he fusses...
 
actually we put him down not before he's too tired, for instance he wakes up for 1 hour or 1.5, we already try putting him to sleep, but still he's like this.. PLS HELP!
 
It does seem like your baby is sleeping too less for his age. Mainly it looks like he's taking too long to sleep. Maybe you could try a routine that is exactly the same every night. If he's going to be fussy from 9:00 then start the routine earlier. Maybe 8:30. If he is not sleeping well between 7:00 to 8:00 then maybe you should use that time for the routine and put him down for the night.
You could try including a few of the following :
A warm calm bath,
massaging,
reading books,
singing songs,
playing soft music,
rocking,
nursing.
Do it in dim lights and the last step (i guess nursing) in the dark. Keep the same steps every night and he'll begin to know it is bed time. Try to stop nursing when the baby is awake but very sleepy so he learns to fall asleep on his own. This will take time but it is gentler than letting him cry it out which I assume you don't want to do.
Is he sleeping without waking up from 12:00 to 5:00 am ? Then he is sleeping 'through the night' . But maybe you can try to train him to settle himself so that he sleeps quickly after feeding instead of sleeping at 6:30 am.

Good luck. These tips are from Elizabeth Pantley's book the no-cry sleep solution. Hope it works for you
 
i copied this from the following website:
http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=MCH&lic=132&cat_id=190&article_set=10233

The First 6 Months

There is no sleep formula for newborns because their internal clocks aren't fully developed yet. They generally sleep or drowse for 16 to 20 hours a day, divided about equally between night and day.

Newborns should be awakened every 3 to 4 hours until their weight gain is established, which typically happens within the first couple of weeks. After that, it's OK if a baby sleeps for longer periods of time. But don't get your slumber hopes up just yet — most infants won't snooze for extended periods of time because they get hungry.

Newborns' longest sleep periods are generally 4 or 5 hours — this is about how long their small bellies can go between feedings. If newborns do sleep for a while, they will likely be extra hungry during the day and may want to nurse or get the bottle more frequently.

Just when parents feel that sleeping through the night seems like a far-off dream, their baby's sleep time usually begins to shift toward night. At 3 months, a baby averages 5 hours of sleep during the day and 10 hours at night, usually with an interruption or two. About 90% of babies this age sleep through the night, meaning 6 to 8 hours in a row.

But it's important to recognize that babies aren't always awake when they sound like they are; they can cry and make all sorts of other noises during light sleep. Even if they do wake up in the night, they may only be awake for a few minutes before falling asleep again on their own. It's best if babies learn early to get themselves to sleep, so let your baby try.

If a baby under 6 months old continues to cry for several minutes, it's time to respond. Your baby may be genuinely uncomfortable: hungry, wet, cold, or even sick. But routine nighttime awakenings for changing and feeding should be as quick and quiet as possible. Don't provide any unnecessary stimulation, such as talking, playing, or turning on the lights. Encourage the idea that nighttime is for sleeping. You have to teach this because your baby doesn't care what time it is as long as his or her needs are met.

Ideally, your baby should be placed in the crib before falling asleep. And it's not too early to establish a simple bedtime routine. Any soothing activities, performed consistently and in the same order each night, can make up the routine. Your baby will associate these with sleeping, and they'll help him or her wind down. You want your child to fall asleep independently, and a routine encourages babies to go back to sleep if they should wake up in the middle of the night.
 
and this from the following website....
http://elcaminopediatrics.com/healthinfo_teachinginfanttosleep_0304.htm


Teaching Your Four Month Old to
Sleep Through the Night
(March 2004)

Four-month-old infants are old enough and big enough to sleep through the night. They are capable of sleeping for a full 10 hours at a stretch by this age and will nap two, or even three, times a day. Some children do seem to need less sleep than others, but a minimum of nine hours at night should be encouraged. Good, uninterrupted sleep will ensure rested parents who have a lot more energy for their children and more time for each other.

Choosing to sleep...

Families that choose to sleep with their children in a “family bed” should now begin to ensure that their baby knows how to fall asleep without them. Baby can fall asleep in the family bed but shouldn’t have to rely on Mommy or Daddy’s presence. It should go without saying that the family bed has to be safe for the baby. Complete edge barriers, a firm mattress and no comforter until parents are in bed, and are just some of the safety requirements. Parents may want to consider putting baby down in a crib in the room and then taking baby to bed with them when they are ready to retire for the night. Couples should definitely spend some time thinking about whether they will both want their 3 or 4 year old to sleep in bed with them! Set up the sleeping arrangements now in a way that will work in the long term, and make sure that both parents agree on these issues.

By four months of age some babies have already learned how to fall asleep alone while others are being “parented” to sleep, i.e. a parent is present with them as they drift off. Infants who rely on the presence of a parent to fall asleep will almost certainly wake their parents during the night. When these babies wake up during the night, as they all will, they need to re-create the situation that comforts them and allows them to fall back to sleep. Four months olds will sometimes sleep through the night even when they have been rocked or nursed to sleep but as they reach the next phase of emotional development (separation and development of self) they will start to demand the presence of a parent in the middle of the night. This will usually start to surface by 6 to 9 months of age as separation anxiety becomes more pronounced.

It is important to establish a nighttime routine, but parents should complement this with daytime separation as well. Avoid constantly holding the baby and encourage experience with people other than the immediate family. A good way to create a nighttime routine is to feed baby dinner, and then give a bath. The bath is not only relaxing, but also separates eating and sleeping so that food does not become part of the way in which baby falls asleep. After the bath, babies are nice and warm and snuggly and a few minutes of rocking in a chair or reading or singing to them is soothing. After this brief session, say goodnight and put baby down in a crib in his or her own room or into the family bed. Briefly settle baby and then leave the room.

If baby cries, look at your watch and wait a minute. This is sometimes called the longest minute in the world! At the end of the minute go into the room with a very sleepy attitude, speak in a whisper and don’t turn on the lights. Tell baby that everything is OK but that it’s time to sleep. You can gently pat them or rock the crib but don’t actually pick baby up. Then say goodnight and leave the room again. If the crying starts up again or if your brief interaction didn’t settle baby, then wait for five minutes before you go in again. It really is important to use a clock to measure the 5 minutes. After 5 minutes go back into the room but this time don’t touch baby at all, just use a soothing voice. Tell them once again that everything is OK but that it’s still time to sleep and then leave the room. Take about 20 to 30 seconds to talk soothingly from the door of the room. If baby continues to cry, wait for a full 10 minutes before going back in.

Once again, just use your voice to reassure baby that you are there.
Some babies seem to cry more loudly or more angrily when they hear Mom or Dad’s voice and are still not picked up. Don’t be discouraged by this. The message you are giving is that you are ignoring baby but that you have not abandoned or deserted them. In other words you are using this technique to teach the baby and not to punish.

In general, infants at this age will fall asleep during the 5 or 10 minute crying period. If your baby persists, however, you have to be willing to outlast the crying. Wait for 15 minutes and again use your voice before waiting a full 20-minutes. If needed go on to a 25-minute period, and then return every 30 minutes to use your voice to reassure baby that all is well with the world and that you are nearby.

If baby has cried for an hour or more and you give in and pick baby up, you are teaching that enough crying will eventually get you to come back in. Some babies become hoarse, get red or sweaty, and some will even vomit. If you make the mistake of responding to this they will be sure to do it for you again the next time!

If and when baby wakes up during the night, don’t respond for the first minute. If the crying persists, go and check to make sure that nothing is wrong and then launch into the 5-minute crying period. Follow this with a ten-minute period and so on.

In most cases, infants will continue to cry at bed time or wake up during the night for as long as a week. It often only takes a night or two, and then the whole family can look forward to solid, uninterrupted sleep for years to come.

Written by Nick Levy, M.D.
 
Thank you. We will try.

This morning, we put him down for his nap when he's sleepy, but no rocking or nursing or crading, just nanny sitted besided him pat him till he's alseep, and we succeed.

So next step we will need to leave him....I'll update to see it works or not.

Thanks.

Babi
 
Dear Friends,

I follow your advice and I want to let all of you the outcome.

Well basically I follow the routine and put my baby on bed at 8:00pm and he cried, scream, severly, but anyway, he sleeps at 8:30pm till 11:30pm, then I nurse him again since he's hungry. Then he started crying again at 1:10am, and then at 1:35am, he stopped and slept till 7:30am this morning.

Seem the crying each time is better.

So am I sucessful? I'll continue and see tonight. Thx for everything

Regards
Babi
 
Continue to be consistent and you should get what you are hoping for. Good luck. Hope it goes smoothly :)
 
Hi babi77

My baby is about 14 weeks and I kind of loosely followed Gina Ford's schedule and now he sleeps over night. This is his schedule and maybe it can help you.

He wakes up about 7am with a feed.
Naps about 9am to 10am
11am feed
afternoon nap at about 12-2pm
2pm feed
between about 4-5pm, he will have a half hour nap which he falls asleep and wakes himself.
About 7.30pm he starts his evening sleep.
I wake him about 10.15pm for his last feed. He then sleeps through to about 6.30-7am next morning.
Initially at the beginning, he would wake up crying at about 5am for a feed but as the days went on, his crying ended up being just whimpers which I tried to ignore and he would fall back to sleep without needing a feed. After a couple of days, he just slept straight through without waking up.

It took my son about a week to sleep overnight using the above schedule but just like scr mentioned, you need to be consistent and find what works for you.
Let us know how you are getting on!
 
Everyone,

Well my son is learning fast in this type of sleeping and my helper told me that for his afternoon nap, just upt him on his bed and he never cried and then sleep soundly for 2 hours just 5 minutes after putting him on his bed.

So I believe consistency and he's learning.

Though I admit, the first time hearing him cry, scream, shout and angry is really a torture for me, but I know is for his good. Hope he will continue to learn.

Thanks.

Regards
Babi
 
I think your lucky to have a baby that sleeps so much!. My bub is 11 weeks now and only has a few cat naps in the day the longest being 1-2 hours if hes out in the pram. We finally usually get he to bed in the evening at around 10.30-11pm, then he wakes at 1 or 2am then wakes again at 4pm, this is when hes fussy with wind and can take an hour or so to get him back to sleep for a couple of hours. Then my 3 year old gets me up at 6.30am. OH well all babies are different
 
I can recommend a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, for those of us who don't like leaving babies to cry it out. It has some good tips on how to encourage good sleep habits in a gradual fashion, and suggests 10-day targets for seeing some improvement. I got it from Geobaby Shop - and I wasn't paid to advertise that!
 
Just want to update all of you. My boy now sleeps on his own, though stll some cry out but is lesser and lesser.

Thanks everyone.

Regards
Babi
 
The New Contented Baby Book by Gina Ford - follow that to the letter and you, baby and the Nanny will be sleeping thru in no time
 
Sorry to hear about this, the replies you have already received are GREAT advice. You might also wish to double-check on the temperature in your baby's room to make sure LO is not too hot or cold.

I will get slated for this I am sure, but if you continue to have problems I would recommend buying the Gina Ford Contented Baby Book. If anything, it only costs HKD90-100 and it will help to give you more of an idea about routines and how to get baby happy with the idea of going to sleep and how to keep the bedtime routine the same. A lot of people are not into her advice, but having had my LO sleep through the night from 18 weeks onwards I am her biggest fan!

Something to try to remember also, although it will be hard as you are so exhausted, is that you WILL get through this. It might just be a stage and in a few weeks you might be laughing with your friends about how crazy your LO was making you with funny sleeping patterns....

All the best
 
You're doing great!
Start the day like this keep him awake until 10am then down for a nap 10- 12noon.

Then nap again like you have 2:30 - 5pm.

Skip the last cat nap, nurse him about 7:30 & put him to bed at 8pm for the night. & Yes if he wakes up let him cry. Hopefully he will sleep from 8pm to 8am. Also try a noise machine like soothing ocean waves & a black out shade in the room to keep it dark & he should be just fine. Good Luck!!!
 
help needed urgently

i have no prob with the morning and afternoon naps, basically my bb wakes up at 6. 30 , feed , then sleep , then bath, feed, sleep, ( 9./10 am plus) then wake feed, sleep,( 1/ 2 pm plus) then wake sleep ( 4/5pm plus) clean up, then sleep 6/7pm plus but not for long.( cat nap) then feed , 8pm-----and trouble starts, we have probs putting him to bed, it is the fussiest period of time, we carry him on our shoulder , till he is calmed down, then put him down , the moment we try , he screams, ( unless he is very sleepy) when we put him down , we give him the pacifier, and bolster and pat him , but he will arch his back and protest....:( and finally we get him to sleep like an hour later/ half an hour the best. i do the dream feed at 11pm then he will sleep , but he STILL WAKES UP AT NIGHT!.... hungry. at times, for comfort feeding at times cas he does not finish the bottle. how he wakes up is like this---1) either his pacifier drops out 2) the major culprit is--his arms will start to frail and he will start rubbing his eyes till he is wake and cries.!!!! i cant NOT FEED him cause he does not finish his milk in the day at times, and cluster feeding dun work cus he does not finish his milk. HOW? help. i actually sleep with my arms on his arm so he will not jerk up awake. no point swaddling him as it makes him more pissed. could he be teething? oh pls help:(
 
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