HELP!!! My 4mth old baby refuses to nap in the afternoon!

fennho

fennho

Registered User
hi mommies
its me again. I'm all tired out by a new problem my baby give to me. She now refuses to nap longer than 20-30mins. In the past for her daytime naps we'd put her in the sarong swing and rock her to sleep. With continuos rocking she can sleep for about an hour plus or even 2hours. For the past 2 days she refuse to nap longer than 20-30mins even if we contd to rock her she'd wake up crying! I nurse her and she would sleep in my arms so I tried putting her into her cot but she'd wake up immediately! She's obviously tired cos she keeps yawning but even if I put her down for awhile,she'd cry. I'm not sure if it has got anything to do with any of the following:
1)the cranio-sacral therapy session I brought her to yesterday to make her less tense. The therapist said only a very small number of babies get more unsettled and hv a burst of energy.
2) could it be 4th mth growth spurt?? But she doesnt look hungry..BUT when I offer her the breast she took of and suckle strongly and then fall asleep in abt 15mins. If I don't offer she seems fine as well and not crying for it..she only cries when I attempt to lay her down for sleep. She seems ok with me carrying her and walkg around the house but occasionally will make some whimper. Hence I'm not sure if she's really wants milk due to an ongoing growth spurt or is she taking the breast when I offer her just for comfort sucking!

She doesnt even want to lie on the bed with me for some quiet time! I'm so exhausted as I'm the only caregiver.

Pls help!!!
 
it sounds like a phase. many babies go through phases for sleeping, eating, waking etc.

your baby is slowly becoming aware that stuff is happening all around and doesn't want to sleep through it and miss it. (i still have this problem with my 3 year old!) eventually she'll sleep. she has to. it is a human need, like food or water.

it is difficult if you are the only person caring for her.

is it possible for you to hire someone part time to come in and give you a hand a few days per week? it sounds like you could really use it.

hubby and i went last january to a hotel for a night. it was still in hk, but it was so that we could each get one night's uninterrupted sleep.

it doesn't make you a bad mum to say that you need some help. most of us have it. and if you were at "home" you'd probably have family that would serve the purpose.

or maybe you could try a baby massage course together? that would be relaxing for both of you.
 
hi carang, thanks for the prompt reply. i do have a helper, but she only manages the housework (which is already very thankful for me!!). She's single and have no experience in handling babies esp newborns. At most, she will make funny faces at my gal in an attempt to cheer her up, while i go for a quick washroom visit or shower. Funny how my gal is already having some sort of "separation anxiety" now cos i cant be a step away or she'll start whimpering and if i dont "appear" within the next few seconds, it'll be a full blown cry. In the past, i rely on her afternoon naps to rest and have some "me" time, but now that she's not napping, and even want to nap in my arms, i'm sooooo exhausted. Usually my mom is around to help, but she has gone for a 5days trip currently, and furthermore, my mom doesnt have a HK resident visa, hence, sooner or later, she has to go back to Spore (where we're from).

Your hotel idea sounds heavenly, i doubt i can do it within the year though cos i'm breastfeeding and my gal rejects the bottle. I know they'll take it sooner or later if i'm not around, but my mom is a nervous wreck when my gal does her loud wailing cries, so my mom has begged me not to leave her alone with baby if it's feeding time. Complicated...i know. :(

I'm interested in the massage course though...do u have any recommendations? thanks a mil!
 
when we did the hotel thing, our girl was almost 1 year old. i know it seems far off, but keep it in mind... it was completely rejuvenating. i had a lady come to the room to give me a massage and it was heavenly.

i didn't realise that you had your mother around. i'm envious! my mum was here in november for 2 weeks and i won't see her again for about 1.5 years....

i guess the only thing i can say is that 2 days does not a pattern make. i KNOW that you're exhausted. i've been there. just remember that your girl will sleep, but it might take a few more days for her to work out this phase.

good luck!
 
fenho
i remember my daughter went thru a phase too when i had to hold her during her day naps. Then i read that babies have a sleep cycle of 45 mins (average). they go thru 3 sleep stages - REM, deep & light sleep. After experimenting a little I found out that my daughter took 20 mins to go into deep sleep and that's when i could put her down and rest my poor arms!!!! it worked but you have to find out how long it takes for your baby to get to deep sleep. you can tell by putting your finger in her hand. if she continues to grab it then she's not in deep sleep yet. When she's in deep sleep her hand muscles will be totally relaxed. Give it a try, you've not nothing to lose but may even gain some rest!!

I also suggest you look up sleep cycles just to understand it a bit more.

All the best!
 
Hi AG2007
Thanks...will try that out...i have heard of the "arm test" though...of how u lift the baby's arms and if it fell floppily back without resistance, she's supp to be in deep sleep...somehow or rather, my gal is such a light sleeper that even if she's oredi in deep sleep mode and i put her down, she'll go snap back into REM or worse, wakefulness once i put her down. Sigh

Sarah
thanks again. I have heard of the book, but i understand Dr Sears Nightime Parenting is into co-sleeping. Altho my baby sleeps with me in the same room, she sleeps in her own cot. So i'm not sure if this book will be applicable to my situation. Dont wish to waste the $$$ if it's not. :(
 
Although Dr. Sears is a supporter of co-sleeping the book is not directed at only co-sleepers. I like it because it explains how baby sleep is different to adult sleep and understanding this gives us more realistic expectations of our little ones. In the American culture, where Dr. Sears is from, co-sleeping is so frowned upon and most people think it is dangerous. This isn’t the case but it also isn’t for everyone. If you don’t want to spend the money buying the book, what about borrowing it from a library?

Many mothers find feeding the baby in a double bed and then rolling away a good way to cope with a baby that wakes up easily when moved. This way the baby doesn’t get disturbed because you don’t move her. You can place pillows around the baby to stop her rolling about as she wakes up. Or if the baby is really mobile you can feed them to sleep on a mattress on the floor.

Best wishes,
SARAH
 
Hi fen, its me again. straneg that you mention the cranial sacral therapy - I took bub for his first session of CS therapy, and whilst he seemed calm and serene during the session, once we went home, it was hell for the next few days - he kept waking every 20 minutes at night thoughout the night. I am not sure whether I should have persisted with the course, but that was enough ot make me stop for the time being. So although some peopoe say CS has a soothing effect for babies, it certainly worked the other way for bub.

Could your baby also be going through teething? I recall bub had similar phases when his first 2 teeth broke out.

Sounds like you need some help - someone to take care of things when you have a day off gives you a whole new persepctive on things,esp if you are the only carer. I think you should give yourself some time off, and perhaps bring in a nanny/confinement lady for a few days . Just having someone there who knows what to do and can give advice is a LOT of support.
 
hi konradsmom

so u dont intend to go back? The therapist told me only a small percentage of babies will get a burst of energy and unsettled...funny how 2 of our babies are already like that. I'm not entirely sure if i wan to continue with the therapy. What brought u there in the 1st place? I went becos i tot my gal cries all the time and appears to be pretty tensed up to me. But surprisingly, when i was there, the therapist told me, she's not THAT tensed up comparatively to other babies, so she said that for my gal, perhaps 4-5 sessions would suffice.

For teething, i did bring her to a PD, and he told me she's not teething at all, none of her gums are swelling, in fact, still pretty sharp edge, yet, she's got all those PRE-teething symptoms, ie excessive drooling, irritation, biting on everything but the PD said these are all commons of a 4 mth baby and not necessary teething symptoms.

I've got a helper in mainly to take care of the housework (didnt wan to overwork her) plus she's a single girl from Indo, know virtually nothing of babies and is even afraid of carrying one! So yes, as far as baby is concerned, i am still the main carer. I can only ask her to keep an eye on baby while i go for a quick shower/toilet time and she'll jus make funny faces at baby but longer than 5mins, my baby will start yelling for me! She even rejects her daddy now cos usually he's away working and when he's home by 7pm, it's her bedtime already...I didnt know separation anxiety can start so young at 4mth!

Do u have any recommendation for a good, reliable, trustworthy nanny/babysitter that i can hire just for a night or something for me to take a break?
 
Fenho,
i PMed you with what you ask for - even before you asked for it !!..Trouble is that she is working as a confinement lady and hence fully booked ( plus she has to put up with my bookings) but if you are interested I can OM you her details and check when she might have time. I think an odd day or 2 can be arranged. its not ideal, but she is the only lady I have used , and can leave home without ever worrying at all.
 
Actually the reason why I brought bub to cranial sacral is because he sleeps poorly and seems to fret a lot ( same as you I guess) but one time is enough to stop me bringing him back. I guess I may want to try homeopathy first and see if that works for him. My son also doesnm't drink milk and the therapist said it might have to do with his head and the shape etc - thought cranial sacral would work for that too - but I won't find out now :P
 
konradsmom
hmm...why didnt u persist with it? MAYBE it'll help after a few sessions? Now u have left me with doubts if i shud go on...cos altho my gal doesnt nap in the day, she is still sleeping ok at night, with one waking so far either at 3-ish or 5-ish. Thanks for the nanny recommendation, but i'm doing BF direct latch and baby dont take bottles, so how will this work? I'm wondering...!
 
Any good homeopathy around? I have read lots recommending IMI, what and where is that actually?
 
Fenho, replied to your PM.

IMI is in central, on Stanley street. If you go though their website , you can find out more about them. its www.imi.com.hk

Don't know whether ther eis anything similar on the kowloon side, though I probably need to find out for myself sooner or later...
 
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