help! baby only wants mummy!

carang

carang

Registered User
i never, ever thought i'd be complaining of this, but my 4 month old has been screaming the house down whenever someone other than myself tries to play with/comfort/carry her.

i'm exhausted. i can't even eat because the minute i put her down she starts again. she's almost screaming to the point of making herself sick. she's not in any pain, so far as i can tell. within 30-60 sec of my taking her, she calms down and smiles at me...

i never experienced this with my first. could it be worse because she's 100% bf? my boy was only 50% bf and never had a problem with anyone else feeding him or cuddling him.

my girl seems to just look at my helper and starts to scream.

i'm worried because i'm starting to work more, which means i'm out of the house for longer stretches, obviously.

any advice? i'm sure this is just a phase and she'll eventually grow out of it, but anyone know a trick to help her along a little?

thanks!
 
hi carang,

i don hv any trick to share, but i m facing the same problem as you with my nos 2. I don tink bf is the cause of it, cos i also 100% bf my elder girl, but she has always been very independent. For my nos 2, she has been very sticky to me since birth, and now she already 13mth old and still v sticky to me. i still remember when she is a newborn, she will cry non-stop and will only stop when i carry her. As she get older, the trend just continue. there was a period, at night, she woke up n realise i not there with her, she will cry and will only stop when i appear :(
 
My completely non-scientific view is that girls do this more than boys.
Cara, your first is a boy, right?

My first girl was like that and my 3 month old son is just the most chilled little fella. Both 100% breastfed, so no difference there.

I have another friend in the same situation. She said if she'd had the girl first, she never would have gone for #2!

Ask your helper how she is when you're out. Chances are she's fine. But, when you're home, she'd rather be with you.

It's a phase...that, in my case, has lasted up to now! If I need a break, I vanish from sight. I do leave the house for work, and I do manage to get work done at home simply by closing the study door.

:flower:
 
she seems to be the same when i'm gone out too, this is what worries me. almost everytime i phone home, i can hear her screaming in the background.

today was an exception and she was fine until i got home, then the screaming started!
 
I personally don't think its a boy or girl thing but a personality thing.Both my first(a girl) and my third(a boy) were more clingy.My second very independent.My suggestion would be to "wear" her when you are at home.That way you can eat or get things done.Then when you are out your helper can wear her.My kids associated the sling with sleep and comfort and were happy as long as someone was wearing them.Some kids I think just respond better to the attachment way of parenting.
 
I saw the same situation on one of the supernanny episodes. Perhaps you should watch it and see if it can help?
 
My son went through a similar phase at four months which lasted until he was seven months!!!!!

During his phase it didn't matter who he was left with- Daddy, Grandma etc. he would be fine for a little while and then realise I was gone and then he would scream until I came home at which point he would stop crying and break into smiles. It use to drive my husband crazy, and he use to worry it was something to do with him!

It didn't help that my son would refuse to drink any milk I'd expressed (he's 100% breastfed) when I was gone.

I just made sure that I left him each week for an hour or two at a time so that he got use to being with other people.

He's not a clingy baby generally, and he's very sociable and confident....it was, for us, just a phase and one I think that stemmed from him being with me almost 24 hrs a day from when he was born.

But now at eight months he is fine when he is left with Daddy, no screaming etc. he eats, drinks fine.
We are in the process of hiring a new helper, so how he takes to her and being left with her remains to be seen!!!!
 
My daughter was 100% bf and she was very clingy. I always thought it was because of the bfeeding. It didn't help that everyone said I was spoiling her and thats why she was so clingy to me. I always tried to train her to be more independant...but she would just cling. hahah...When I left her with the maid, she was fine....but only wanted me when I was at home. She is now almost 2 years old and still only wants me. However, she will go to the nanny and my husband more easily just recently. I think they just grow out of it. But I can understand how exhausting it can be.
 
Another clingy girl

My 16 month old daughter (only child) has been mega clingy since she was about 5 months old and still is now, but only if I am around. I have found it exhausting and as I have had no help (helper starts tomorrow) I have been caring for her 24/7. I have realised the maxim quality not quantity is the key. Subconciously she has been picking up on my exhaustion with her crying and cried more! The last couple of weeks I have made an effort to be apart from her and then when with her to be really happy and responsive, being extra patient at bedtime etc - it seems to have worked, she has cried less and settled better. So much for being the devoted full time mum. I suspect it is partly because she's an only child, and a shy less active girl. Even my husband has commented that she reflects my emotions! Babies are clever things...
 
thanks guys....my problem is that i now have 2 or 3 really longs days of work. i'm out of the house by between 9 & 11am and not back until long after bedtime(8pm-10pm). i hate it, but it means that i'm home more throughout the rest of the week. i was just worried that she'd be screaming the entire time, but she seems to be doing a little better.
 
Only wants mummy

Smurf (my older DD) is just like your little girl. Very active and doesn't sleep a lot during the day. I think you will find that she 'performs' more for you and when you are gone she is just as happy with big brother, Dad or DH. It will get better in time (going to work and leaving her) esp now that other people are 'feeding' her as she goes onto solids.
 
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