Have to vent - help!

J

josoo

Registered User
We are about to move into a new apartment, which I'm really excited about, we have double the space and the maids get a huge kitchen. However, the maid's room only has a small vent hole and no windows. I'm getting them, I have two helpers, a bunk bed and sliding closet made; plus an air-con installed.

Today I was nice enough to ask one of my helpers what type of mattress she wanted, soft hard or medium, and she said "there is no window in our room, how could that be?". I got so annoyed! Its not as if I wanted them not to have a window. I think I'm already spoiling them with the tailor made bunk bed and sliding closet. I'm buying a brand new TV and DVD player to put in the kitchen, so they can enjoy the entertainment as well, I feel really guilty all night.

But I can't build a window! The room is around 150sq. foot and the bunk bed is a reasonable size, bigger than the usual single bed, and I even got my contractors to knock out a closet so they have more space.

Can someone tell me if I am a horrible employer? What do these helpers want? Queen size bed and a 500 sq. foot bedroom?
 
I don;t think this vent even deserves a response, but I'm going to go ahead.

Perhaps instead of moaning about your two (yes, two) helpers, perhaps your vent could be about the property developers who can somehow get away with NOT putting a window in a bedroom - even if it is 'only' for the maids.

One day the HK gov will wake up and start to lay down rules about what a building should have - and yes - a window in a bedroom would be a good start.
 
in canada, there MUST be an easily accessible window in EVERY bedroom... what would happen if there was a fire? they'll have no way to escape!
 
do you have alot of family members living in the apt? if not, perhaps, you can give up one of the standard bedrooms (assuming with windows) to the 2 maids and use the "maid room" as storage?
 
I appreciate positive responses rather than negative, so I'll simply ignore HAPPYV's comments. (I feel extremely happy for your helper, she must be living in a mansion! Maybe you have a terrace for your helper, a bath-tub and a dressing table as well - BLESS YOU!).

GIVE ME A BREAK! I think everyone lives a different lifestyle and one shouldn't comment on another! I don't think I'm the only person out there with two helpers, get a grip?

Afterall I'm not complaining about my helpers and do you think it'll help complaining to the developer? Are you even from HK? Developers in HK don't care and mind you tons of buildings in HK were built in 30-40 years ago. There are tons of illegal structures in HK.

I'm trying to find a solution. Maybe I'll just get a window built...anybody else had this problem? I have heard horror stories of how some helpers live. I might just get them a shutter board, so they can leave their bedroom door open at night, our kitchen is huge anyways. They won't get trapped if there's a fire, because their bedroom is right across a set of windows and two separate entrances...
 
I understand your frustration. The house we finally rented was the largest that we looked at but had the smallest maid's room. We started by offering one of the bedrooms to our helper, but she declined, as she would rather be more removed from the rest of the family. The landlord has been pretty unhelpful about every change that we wanted to make to the room. It has a door with a window, but no AC. He cannot understand why we want to make the rom more 'liveable'. There is no way that he would approve of putting a new window in!

We have managed to put in broadband tv, plasma, phone, dvd, custom-made furniture to maximise space. Not a single thank you. Same for the 10 weeks paid leave and the 4 flights home she's had in under a year. I don't expect flowers or for her to be beside herself with gratitude, but just a small sign that she appreciates the odd gesture, after all she chose to sleep in the room.

I am sure that you did not deliberately choose a house in which the helper's room has no windows. I agree that the HK authorities should introduce some legistlation to improve the living conditions of helpers, but they have to start with developers, and the boarding houses (I hear that there are plenty of rooms in boarding houses withour windows or running water). As a tenant, with ever increasing rents, I have to put my family's needs first. I cannot choose a house on the basis of how comfortable the helper's room is, but will do everything I can to make it as comfortable as possible for her.
 
josoo, you are obviously not a horrible employer and have done everything you can to ensure your helpers are comfortable.
It is not your fault that the room has no window.

You have done what you can, even installing air con.
It isn't like they have to spend 24hrs a day in this room.
I'm sure that your helpers are intelligent enough to realise you are not a magician, and can't change the fact that there is no window.
 
Josoo,
I will simply ignore your maid or since you are absolutely a good employer - to install the air-cond, DVD and TV.
I don't know the experience of your maid, but you have to let her know she is being lucky to have a room !!! A lot of maids who work for "normal" Chinese family live in a very small apartment. My maid have a friend who work in a family of four living in a govt housing which is less than 400 sq feet !!!!
If I tell your story to my Chinese friends, most of them will ask you to simply fry her.....
 
Thank you for all the helpful comments.

I woke up this morning feeling really bad, so I called my contractor!

We've decided to put their wardrobe in the laundry area, so their room does not feel so cramped. I will also put a tv in their room, so they have a choice to watch it in their own room or outside the kitchen!

Without the wardrobe their room will be spacier. I have also decided to buy a screen, so they have a choice to leave the door open at night, but still have privacy with the screen.

Hopefully they will be happy in this new environment, so we all live in harmony. Sometimes I feel like I owe them my life...
 
I once asked my DH if it is important to her to have her own room and she said it didn't really matter as long as it is comfortable. I would consider sleeping in a room (or sounds more like a store room?) with a small vent pretty uncomfortable.
 
It's not about whether its comfortable or not comfortable. As Mum of 2 stated, I will simply NEVER choose an apartment for the sake of the maid's room.

I spoke to my other helper today and she says its not a big deal, because she doesn't mind leaving the door open, so it really depends if you are looking at glass half full or half empty.
 
Difficult dilemma- made more difficult by the size of HK apartments and the ridiculous rents we are forced to pay for them!

Personally I think that any room you expect a helper to live in should have a window. A room without a window just makes me think of a prison cell, and while they may not be spending 24 hrs a day in there, it is still the only room they have in the house and they will need to spend their evenings in it!

When we recently looked at apartments- we had one agent tell us the helper could live in the small store room off the kitchen which would barely fit a bed; another one told us that the room for the baby had a bed with a pull out mattress where the helper could sleep!

Saying this however I have never been in a situation where we have had to choose between a decent maids room and a decent sized apartment- very difficult situation to be in!!!! And yes the fault does lie essentially with the developers but until helpers are treated better in general in HK the developers aren't going to do anything about it!
 
josoo, i think u're doing a great job providing all the comforts to your helper(s). most of the helpers i know don't have TVs & they have to buy their own radio or CD player.

some of my friend's helper sleep in a store rm (storage at lower bunk & they sleep on the top bunk). hey, even some of my friends slept in store rooms when they were teenagers. with the size of hk apartments, you're lucky to have separate maid's room!! most 4 members family in hk live in a one studio style public housing. they have to make a rm out with wooden boards!
 
josoo, we're another family with two maids as well. i think you're doing great already, 150 sq. ft? my two maids are in their bunk beds in a small room on their own, not NEARLY as big a space as you guys gave them. I hired them from the Philippines and both are happy with the arrangement. It is a tight living space, but they have brand new furniture and a decent work environment. I think they know what's out there and appreciate what they have.

Of course, there are people with 4000 sq. ft homes who can afford to give their helpers completely separate QUARTER mansions to live in, but you have to know what's out there to appreciate what you have.

We went house hunting, you need to admire the 'creativity' people put into accomodating for their maids. Not only that NOT having their own rooms is the norm (our agent was quite quick in pointing out that not a lot of people ask to have separate rooms for the helpers, most just room them with the kids). We saw day beds that people pull out in the kitchen that helpers sleep in or literally closets that people fit beds into for their helpers.

When I see 8 out of 10 arrangements with helpers accomodations like that, I don't think we are seeing the extremes but rather the norm.

My daughter's room only has a tiny window, which opens up directly into the wall of the neighbors, we don't even open that window now. Does that mean i'm putting her in a prison cell? We live in HK, and we deal with the situation, just means that she's spending a lot more time playing in other rooms where there's much more natural sunlight.

How about this... if they choose to, your helper can always sleep in the living room where there are plenty of windows. I think you're being a great employer already.
 
Yes, this 'sharing with the children' thing seems to be quite common. If I were a DH, I'd much rather have a small room to myself than a large one that I share with my employer's children. There is no way that I would put a tv, dvd, phone etc. in my children's room, so if my helper was in there, she'd have no private space, nowhere to watch tv, make phone calls etc. herself.

Moreover, I don't think it's fair on the children. I mentioned to another mother at the school last week (when she commented on how exhausted I looked), that I had been awake because the baby had been kicking me from inside and my son had woken up 3 times during the night. She could not understand why I looked after him myself at night and had not sent my DH to him. Both of us were shocked by what the other considered 'normal'.

Josoo, sounds like your helpers have recovered from their strop. They certainly have more space than my helper, and many others, they have probably just realised that too. I'd trade windows for some space and privacy (our windows are never even opened for safety reasons). Good luck settling in!
 
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i also want to mention that one of my helpers came from working in Jordan. i think with a huge room to herself, also her own TV. so when she first got her, it was quite difficult for her. But after working with us for two years, she has just agreed to extend her contract, so I take that as where the conditions are not perfect, they are also having a life that is acceptable.

Mine don't have their own TV, which makes me think maybe i could give them that given that i've been reasonably happy with their performance so far. It does depend a lot on their personality and adaptability.
 
If DH's are getting up in middle of night with babies and/or sleeping in same rooms as kids is it surprising the kids sometimes prefer the DH's!!! Also these women then have to get up and make breakfast and do a manual job all day then go to bed late.....we definately all have different views on "normal" here!!!!
 
Agree with Matty, I don't think you need to beat yourself up about the situation. Your home is what it is - I'm sure you didn't choose your home with the intention of NOT providing windows. I don't think anyone would actually buy a flat with the maid's room as a primary consideration. I actually think you have done a lot for them re providing other comforts to make up for it.

I believe in being reasonable with helpers and not deny them anything they should have, but there is a fine line between being nice to them and spoiling them.

My personal experience with a helper I had before - she arrived on day 1 and expected to have the whole maid's room to herself . We (unlike others) have a smallish flat and don't have space for a separate storage /pantry area, and so some of the things we store in the maid's room but she has plenty of personal storage space designated for her. But she immediately set out to remove all of our stuff from her room and just threw everything out into the kitchen with the expectation that her room is for her ALONE.
 
For Mum of 2

mum of 2 your helper sounds like a nightmare. You sound very generous - you don't need to see her cry with thanks but a simple thank you wouldn't hurt. It really seems that sometimes the better you treat your helper the more they expect.
 
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