feeling blah....

carang

carang

Registered User
been feeling a little blah lately.

i've just returned from a month in canada visiting my mum and brother. before i left i had been feeling rather blah about life. i thought going "home" would get it out of my system. it's only made it worse.

i have nothing really to complain about.

1) hubby is awesome
2) HUGE job satisfaction
3) great kids
4) large house with a garden & playroom (never thought i'd have this in hk!)
5) good helper

i'm not depressed, i'm just not feeling much of anything right now. does that make sense? when i tried to explain it to mum, she basically said "stop feeling sorry for yourself, make the most of life in HK" which is what i've been trying to do. as most of you know, i've been here for over 14 years now. i would love to move back to canada, but with the way the economy is going right now, plus the fact that hubby and i each have successful businesses here, it just doesn't make any sense.

i would love to have another baby, but again, as most of you know, pregnancy and i do not get along well together and i really don't want to end up in a wheelchair again (4/8 months last time round!) and being hospitalised again (13 times over 2 pregnancies!)....so that seems to be out of the question as well. i have tried to talk to hubby about adopting, but he's afraid that his family wouldn't accept an adopted baby considering we have two biological children.

sorry, i don't think that there are any "answers" out there, just needed a place to vent, with hopefully some words of wisdom. you ladies are some of the best i know (even though i don't really know you!)

thanks for "listening"! enjoy your weekend!
 
Hi Carang, it's funny you should say you feel blah, maybe it's something in the air. I too have little to be unhappy about (except for maybe a bit of sleep deprivation) but I feel completely blah too. On the surface everything is just great so the only thing I can think that is making me feel this way is actually life in HK in general. I think we need to get out of here! I love many aspects but just can't deal with two young boys (and a newborn) in confined spaces and no where easy for them to run around. By easy I mean, that we don't have to drive to. I really really miss clean air, beautiful parks, nature, relaxing weekends spent outside drinking coffee, reading the paper and watching the kids run around outside. Here I have to get them out every day so they don't kill each other and whilst our building has great facilities who wants their kids growing up in a playground? It's such an effort thinking of things to do with such little ones (all three three and under). Even going to the beach is a pain here as the water is so dirty my kids always end up sick. Argh!
 
Well I can totally sympathise with the wanting another baby but pregnancy not agreeing...I get HG too (sounds like that's what you get) and what a nightmare...but I still want to have another, just not "have" it...lol...I'm in 2 minds EVERY day - I go back and forth like a yoyo and honestly its driving me absolutely crazy that I can't just make up my mind! Totally unfair too by the way! lol My hubby doesn't want to adopt either and to be honest, I don't think I do...so that leaves me with me...unless we could find a surrogate?? lol

I've had a really really hard last month as well and seem to be taking out on all the wrong people...but have just finally in the last week "settled" again and am feeling happy...maybe the sunshine has brought some peace for me? That and Club Siena with the kids today - wow its great there...

What about a night out with the girls? the movies? a romantic weekend with hubby? best to you...
 
that's one of the problems that i have... going out with the girls. after 14 years, i've almost had enough of trying to make friends. i feel like just when i get to know someone and we are well on our way to a close friendship, they up and move.

of course, the upshot of this is friends to visit in:
Vermont
sydney
perth
brisbane
NZ
brazil
england
etc....

would love to get away for a romantic weekend with hubby... he's REALLY busy and works 7 days per week. i work every saturday...we would have to do it after work on a saturday and ask our helper to swap her sunday off...argh...sometimes it's not worht the hassle.. you know what i mean?
 
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. It's difficult sometimes to pinpoint what's going on and knowing how to fix it, if that's possible.

I can relate to some of your feelings and I wish I had wisdom to share. But in my own feelings of blahness... I just sing with my daughter in the morning (this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it) and make a point to make the most of each day. It's not easy but at least it gets my day started right.

I don't live too far from the country park... if you need someone to have a coffee and chat with... I'd be happy to listen!

Hope you're having a great holiday weekend! Enjoy the gorgeous weather!
 
oh and I've only been in hk 4yrs but in those 4yrs, I've lost way too many good friends too. i really struggle in that department too.
 
yeah i agree cara, i've been an expat for about 12 years, give or take, and even though its usually been me to move, it is really hard leaving friends and then having to make them again for them or you to leave yet again...that and finding a new hairdresser, the two hardest things...
 
I really sympathise. I'm not currently feeling "blah" (I've been too stressed out by work and am just so grateful for the arrival of the weekend) but I've been there, and know what you mean. I've no real answers, sorry, but I know what it means to want to have something to look forward to. All I can think of (and this is really silly) is maybe go for a run or get out to get some fresh air or something. It does not help the underlying 'blah-ness' but it makes you feel better for about an hour or so. Sorry, silly suggestion, but I hope you feel better.
 
plumtree, it is a good suggestion to go for a run - exercise increases the level of serotonin in the brain. I have felt really down before and was hospitalised for depression on a number of occasions - not nice and I'm really cautious of triggers now.
One thing that makes me feel great is making care packages for my loved ones back home. It makes me happy to think I am making them happy.
 
hi cara
i often feel exactly like you do when returning from a vacation.

you are grateful for your many blessings, that is obvious.

returning to "the groove" for me is tough, and i find that time is the only thing that makes it better. keeping busy helps for me.

i hope this passes soon.
 
Hi Carang, dont worry i think all of us ladies have felt that way at some point in time....Im actually feeling that way also but Im also pregnant with my first baby and Im sure that my hormons are not helping me either. I had to leave my job because of all the problems ive been having with my pregnancy, so the days seem like they last forever......just hang in there things will look up. I find that everytime I go home to Canada for a visit I feel sad also, but you can look at it this way I think right now with the economey situation that we are better off in Hong Kong right now anyway.
 
Hi Cara

Blah... is an annual norm for me this time of the year... summer holidays are just round the corner, leaving HK for home soon, seeing friends and family or at least some quality time with the family without an email interruption. Then, coming home from a great vacation where family support was just great! I'm blah for about a month or so.

Totally get that feeling.

Cheer up... you're not alone (as evident from the number of posters)
 
Welcome back, Cara. Been missing your posts(full of helpful tips) even you did manage to reply a couple of times while you were in Canada.

I think I understand you. I was wondering the same things the other day. Who can tell us that you are absolutely happy? I feel that there is always something missing with everyone's life...Those who are lucky enough to have a job and doing what they enjoy doing at the same time is really a big bonus; on the other hand, they might be craving for more free time with their family or go travelling around the world; those who stay at home all day long like myself really want to get out and have a job and feel normal again; some needs more money; some needs more time...the list just goes on. Those who have got them all...feel lonely or empty sometimes...You just don't know what you want in life.

I kinda agree with aussiegal that it's probably because of being in HK in general that is causing this. Me for instance, I don't know how long we are gonna be here. That can be very hard as I don't know how to set my and my family's goals. The limited space on top of a great number of people can be overwelming sometimes, too! I don't feel that I belong here yet somehow we have to be here, for a while at least...So I've been trying to fit in by learning Cantonese and also trying to make the best of being in HK...

Sorry for not being able to help you out as you can see, I have many problems of my own too...Sometimes I just think probably it's best not to think too much at all...

My apologies if I had sounded pretty negative and discouraging...
 
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