Feedback After Rejection?

H

HKfornow

Registered User
Would you seek a feedback for constructive criticism if your child was not accepted in the school you applied for?

I recently applied my son for kindergarden class to a school we visited, however, after two interviews he was rejected. I am fine with the rejection since I figure the experience of the whole process can't hurt for future Primary 1 interviews.

So I called the school and spoke to the director of admissions, and inquired if I could ask for some feedback so that my son can do better for next year's interview for primary school. I was shocked by her response that I apparently asked a "very weird question" and that the school was not there to "improve your son's skills/chances for interviews" and "we really do not interview, but want to see if your son would fit our school"

Keeping in mind that I was not & am not appealing their decision to decline admissions, but really to find out what criteria they are looking at, and how I can better prepare my son the next time around.

Was I out of line to ask for feedback? Am I "weird" to want to find out why he was rejected?

Comments Appreciated.
 
I don't think you were *weird* to ask for feedback, just maybe a bit naive to think they would respond.

One kindie my kids applied to - had about 80 spaces and over 1,000 applicants.

With numbers like that (and I bet lots of schools have them) they probably don't even remember the slightest thing about the kids they reject. Let alone wanting to bother to tell the parents what didn't impress them about their kids.

When my son and daughter were rejected by our 1st choice local schools, part of me did want to ask "so, what was wrong with them? You should be so lucky to have my brilliant children with their delightful personalities apply!" - but I never did, because if they rejected them - the school has no motivation to try and please or help me (the parent).

It's a sellers market for the Big Name Schools.
 
I agree with Loupou. With the huge amount of applicants to limited space and limited interview time, I doubt they can remember every rejection.

However, I think a fair question to the school is what criteria are they looking for? Or how can they determine if a kid would fit the school. However, it is very difficult to get these out from them after the interviews. As they may be afraid of challenges from parents. It is best to ask them before the interview.

Other than that, if we could be in the interviews, then we have to take ourselves out and look at our kid during the interview asking yourself "Would I take in this kid based on his performance?" based on a unbiased observation. Then you maybe able to answer your own question why was he rejected.

Other than that....there is no immediate solution to a widely sought after question.
 
Wow... sounds like you are lucky your son didn't get accepted to that school! I wouldn't want my children to go to one who are looking for "kids to fit into THEIR school"! All kids at young age could fit into any schools.. at least that's what I thought...

Good luck in future school searching!
 
although an old thread, i don't think that there is ANY school in hk that would give you feedback. they could be allowing themselves in for a LOT of trouble.

first off, if every parent asked the same question, can you imagine the time it would take? some schools have thousands of applicants and only a handful of spaces. not only that, but the person that did the actual interview would have to be the one to inform you and you would be expecting them to remember your child out of possibly thousands.

although i sympathise with you, i think it is an unrealistic request. sorry
 
>> you would be expecting them to remember your child out of possibly thousands.

Cara - Interviews should be documented. No one needs to remember the actual interview if the process involves documenting why the kid was rejected. A couple of lines are good enough.

Extra work - 2 mins.

If the interview is structured (i.e. every student is asked the same questions and in the same format) it should be fairly easy to refer back to the interview sheets and point out why the student was rejected.

In my opinion, given the costs of education and what is at stake - the kids future, I do think parents have the right to know why their children were rejected, at the very minimum to attempt and correct any areas which might affect the kids negatively at other interviews too.

So, I do not think it is altogether unrealistic at all to inquire why the child was rejected.

And at the same time, the schools need to develop a set of cajones and tell parents that their child or the parents background is not suitable for non-academic reasons .... you're not rich enough, you don't own enough factories etc etc.

Bring back this thing called honesty into the system -- you know, the thing we teach all our kids about.
 
i do agree that they should be documented.

as a matter of fact, i think that interviewing a pre-schooler is absolutely ridiculous in the first place.
 
>> i think that interviewing a pre-schooler is absolutely ridiculous in the first place

Well, you cant let the riff-raff in!
 
Totally agree with Shri. Schools should be made more accountable.
In the public schools if there is an interview, we need to complete forms and if a parent asks for reflection, we need to be accountable for the going-ons in an interview and be able to provide feedback.

If accountability exists in a public school, where education is free and teachers are paid less, why not in a private school? I'm beginning to see International School teachers and managers in a very different light - many are outdated and out of touch with the realities and expectations of education.

Having said that though, the school where we've placed our son - only a month into the school year and the reflection and HONESTY has been EXCELLENT! He has a teacher and accompanying teacher assistants that i think are TOTALLY AWESOME though. I wish more teachers were like his.
 
i guess, you guys are right. it's just that as someone who deals a lot with parents, it can be very difficult to have honest discussions with SOME parents. there are some out there that will not accept any constructive criticisms, especially where their child is concerned.

besides with the numbers of applications that some schools receive, it may not be a matter of what is 'wrong' with your child or what your child can improve on, but just a matter that other children were 'better'.

PLEASE do not interpret this the wrong way. it's just an idea that crossed my mind. as i said before, i TOTALLY disagree with interviews of any kind for pre-schoolers.
 
>> but just a matter that other children were 'better'.

Plenty of schools do this and they do it without a problem. They have standardized tests and only students that pass the levels for that year get called for interviews.

I have no problems with elitism ... it just needs to be documented and made clear before the admissions process so that parents don't waste their time if they feel that they or their kids are not suitable for that school.

Just wait till Eton or Harrow (which ever of the two is opening up) send out rejection slips all across town...
 
carang - no problems with interviews. You cant just let anyone in .. (and I mean this seriously). There are some kids that need more help and some kids that might just not be suitable for the school - for various reasons. One kid with behavioral problems could mess the whole class up.

I think an interview for most of the schools is a session in a play room or class room type environment.

Ideally the interview would highlight any issues with behavior etc and the parents can then work to address those issues.
 
the reasons that i don't like interviews, especially for PRE-schoolers is:
1) often these kids are 2 and under... some 2 year olds can't/don't talk yet
2) children of this age can often have a bad day. that doesn't mean they will be a menace to the class
3) often it takes children this age a while to warm up and open up (how to tell from 10 minutes in a playroom?)


i have had some "problem" students. only one have i actually had to speak with the parents and suggest that they withdraw. as you said, this one student continually caused problems in the class. we all tried to address the issue as best we could with no improvement on the child's part. needless to say, it came down to "do i lose one student or the entire class?" the choice was obvious.

however, i have had other students that take up to a month to warm up. often these students end up being the most fun, outgoing and the ones who participate the most. if i had judged them from the impression that they made in their first class, it would have been MY loss. i would not have had the pleasure of getting to know the kids, and helping them overcome their fears.

as i said before, SOME parents cannot deal with problems regarding their child. SOME parents cannot admit that their beloved child MAY have a few issues that need to be dealt with.

just to be clear, my posts are meant for PRE-schoolers... NOT for primary or secondary placements. i have no problem with interviews for those levels.... PRE-schoolers (18 months-3 years) i DO have a problem with.
 
When you go for an interview do you have to provide parents income level, type of job, other social information about your family, or is it strictly all about your child?
 
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