Elizabeth Pantley or Ferber method?

F

firsttimemom

Registered User
Which one worked for you?

Elizabeth Pantley's no cry solution or Ferber's crying out loud?

My baby is 10 months old and wakes up every 2-3 hours at night to bf, longest stretch of sleep is 3.5 hours, i am SO exhausted now......i tried Pantley's method for 1 week now and the situation goes from bad to worst as baby is mad if i shorten the bfeeding session. He is tired and sleepy but the moment if put him in his own cot, he wakes up and cries.

I was thinking of doing the Ferber's method now. I know there are lots of thread on crying out loud here, but just want to know which method works for you.

Thanks......sleep deprived mom for 10 months :tantrum:
 
one week might still not be long enough.

i understand completely. my daughter was almost 3 before she slept through on a regular basis (she started waking up when she was about 6 months or so)
 
there will be so many opinions on this post - there always are when it comes to sleep training as i just posted about my never-ending journey to sleep train my now 26 month year old. everyone will give their 2 cents so take what you are comfortable with and with what works well for you and your baby.

personally, when my son was in a crib (birth-20 months), ferberizing was the best. we tried the "shhhing" method and no cry solution, but it didn't work for him for everytime we went in, he thought it was playtime and agitated him even more.

Additionally, my HK and US pediatrician said that by 6-7 months, your baby should not need any feeds during the night. They have enough during the day to sustain themselves. It was hard for us to cut out a feed (we were giving water) and the only way we did it was through ferberizing him. After 2 nights - he didn't need it anymore.
 
totally agree... it has to be something YOU are comfortable with, to heck with everyone else.
 
Also - every baby is different, what works for one, may not work for another. Try things and see what works for you and your baby.

there is a great book and support website that is called babysleepanswers.co.uk. you buy it, get an immediate download pdf version and then the book arrives.

It outlines ALL the methods (in summary form) so you don't have to spend millions buying the huge range of books out there. you can also post on the site and get answers on your specific problems.

I happen to have two kids that responded extremely well to CIO/controlled crying. One bottle fed with EBM (at 5.5 months), one BF (at 7 months).

What I would say is that the older the child, the more challenging CIO can be as a process. A 10 month old will have more energy and 'will' than a 6 month old.

With my BF child I was concerned that hunger would be a factor. Therefore for the first 3-4 nights, I gave him a big bottle of EBM then finished off with a BF for comfort just to make sure.

Good luck
 
My daughter is a pretty good sleeper, but sometimes at night she wakes - and since she's already had 5 hrs of sleep (she usually wakes around 1am), she is pretty chirpy and doesn't want to go back to bed. I've tried bringing her into our bed, walking with her, a bunch of different things - but the ONLY thing that really allows her AND us to get back to sleep without being up for 2 hrs or more is if we put her in bed and let her have a bit of a tantrum for 10 minutes until she settles down. I think she's more mad at us for putting her in bed rather than being scared or anything like that... I wish there was an easier way in that situation to get her back to bed painlessly, but for us - it seems to be that, or stay up for 2 or 3 hrs until she's tired again...
 
Ohhh I hope baby sleeps more for you soon! My boy (6 months old) used to sleep fairly well, taking 2 hour naps and waking just once during the night. Then he started waking every 1.5 hours at night and only sleeping 45 mins at a time during the day. I was too scared to try the cry it out method because I didn't want him to feel rejected but after 2 months of this bad sleep pattern I couldn't handle it anymore. So I started the Ferber method and have been doing it for 4 days now. His naps are now 2.5 hours long! And he has woken maximum 2 times at night so far (much better than 6!). The longest he cried was for 45 mins which was a looongg time but today he took a nap without crying at all which totally shocked me as I used to BF him to sleep every time and if I put him in his cot awake he would scream. If you try the Ferber method just remember that you are doing it for baby, teaching him good sleeping skills. Baby will survive a little crying. :) Plus I spy on him to make sure he is not stuck in an awkward position and if his crying gets crazy I go in and pat him and leave again. I can't just do it cold turkey.
I hope you find what works best for you!
 
To answer your question straight: Elizabeth Pantley :banana:
I couldn't have used Ferber's method, so I didn't even bother to try.

I have bub no. 2 now and have been getting up every 2-3 hours at night for the past.. uhmm.. 2.5 years.. I just make sure I get my 8h sleep, although it gets interrupted.
 
Hiya
I would go for Elizabeth Pantley too.
I could not let my baby cry. I wouldn't let my husband, or friend, or older children cry - so how could I let my baby cry?It goes against our instincts -and our instincts are there for a reason.
There is also research which shows that when a baby is left to cry, there are physiological changes in the baby - an increase in the stress hormone cortisol for example. The Australian Infant Mental Health Association was so concerned about the practice of controlled crying that it issue a paper on the subject see :http://www.aaimhi.org/documents/position papers/controlled_crying.pdf

However, the issue is how to deal with the fatigue of having a waking baby/child. I think Elizabeth Pantley's method does work. Some mothers I know did the whole programme. Others have done just a few steps and got far enough to just feel better. Otherwise, getting some sleep during the day is very important. And you could try co-sleeping, if you are comfortable with that. Tips for safe co-sleeping at Dr James McKenna's website: Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory

best wishes
Maggie
 
One thing I don't understand about Controlled Crying is if babies are so traumatized by it, how come they grow up fine? My mum used this process with all 5 of her kids and we love her and know she loves us. We weren't horribly abused because she let us cry in our beds for a little while. I'm in the process of controlled crying now with my 6 month old because he was waking 5 or 6 times a night and needing me to bf him back to sleep. It became a habit. He was always tired during the day and would sleep a maximum of 45 mins at a time during the day. I'm on day 5 of this sleep program and he had 2 x 2.5 hour naps yesterday with relatively no crying beforehand whereas before he would scream if I put him in his bed awake. He is also only waking once at night and I don't leave him to cry, I go to him. He isn't learning that I don't love him or that I won't respond to his needs, he's learning that sleep is good and he can get to sleep himself without anyone helping him. I see that as a positive. Skills for life. If a child wants something that is not good for them and you take it away from them, they will cry as if the world is ending. Does that mean we must give them everything they want even if it is not good for them? That's the way I see this controlled crying. It is good for him. I would have continued on for years waking frequently with him and feeding him/comforting him back to sleep at the expense of my own sanity but my husband wanted his wife back and not a zombie. Although the sound of him crying is HORRIBLE for me and I stand at his door peeking at him the entire time to make sure he isn't hurting himself. I think it's not fair to say that one way is better than the other, or that one way works and one way doesn't because all babies and parents are different. What works for one baby, may not work for another. Both Pantley and Ferber work. You just have to find what works for you.
 
Hi Lisa,
Well said!!! we moms won't ever ever allow our kids to cry but if it's not helping him to sleep thru the night, it's not healthy for him too. This is my last resort, i did try other method but nothing works for my 11 months old. I'm reading Ferber now and might be ready to start tomorrow night. Our situation are similar, my son wakes up 5-7 times a night just to bF, it's a habit already. Can i please ask you if you first eliminate the night feeding method before doing the progressive "cry it out"? Thanks.
 
Well I started during the day for the 1st nap so that he would be a little bit used to it by night. I set up his naptime routine a few days earlier so he would know when naptime was so I wasn't just putting him in his bed and walking away. At night I do his bedtime routine. I haven't eliminated the wake up feed yet because he has reflux (getting better) so I feel he still needs that feed. Plus he has only just started solids. I think he will stop waking by himself for that feed.
Good luck! I'll be honest the first few days are tough! it really does tug on your heart strings!
And I made sure I was home for his naps so that he would not be overtired.
 
Oh and I meant to say that instead of BF to sleep I include bf in the bedtime routine so that he is relaxed before putting him in bed awake :)
 
Hi ladies,

Just want to update that i am now sleeping 8 hours straight - after 11 months of waking up every 2-3 hours to BF.

What did i do? FERBERized! it is simply unbelievable, as i've said earlier, my baby wakes up 2-3 hours to bf, i tried other approach as i don't want my baby to "cry it out" but it was the last resort for me. The good thing is - i was able to eliminate the night feeding WITHOUT crying as suggested by Ferber. So his approach is not just crying it out, we gradually extend the feeding time half hour every night and it works til he was able to removed it.

Then i did the progressive crying approach so he learns how to fall asleep on his own if he wakes up. He initially cried 25 mins total on the first night, second night 10 mins and tonight, no more crying at all. He sleeps from 7pm-630am now.

For those who are in the same situation as mine, read the ferber book, it works!
 
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