Eating Peanuts during Pregancy - the concerned daddy

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Hi all,

This is my first post. Apologies if its in the wrong section.

I am an extremely concerned dad. We have a baby girl (age 2) and another child due in a few months.

My wife has been eating peanuts throughout this pregnancy, despite my worry and concern that this will lead to our new child developing a nut allergy. She has only informed me of this today, she's been eating peanuts without my knowledge for months, apparently in large quantities (over 50 per serving, one serving per month).

When I questioned her on why she was doing this, she became extremely defensive and angry, and basically refused to discuss the topic with me at any length. Her typical response is 'I am not having this conversation with you'.

A bit of background. While I do not suffer from any allergies, my wife has frequent 'sneezing attacks' and is constantly on anti-histamines. She says this is due to a 'sinus' problem and is not an 'allergy' per se, but throughout all of the years I have known her she has referred to these sneezing issues as allergies. These attacks are so bad that they often keep her (and myself) awake at night.

I am now extremely worried. I worry that my child will develop the same allergies as my wife. But she is ready to bite my head off for even being worried about it, and refuses to even acknowledge the dangers. She feels that as our first child did not develop a nut allergy, our second child will also be fine.

Please help to put my mind at ease. I have a bucketload of stress at work and with finances already, and this is just another layer of stress to add to it. Could use any advise you would be able to give on this.
 
i ate jars and jars of peanut butter throughout my pregnancy and after i gave birth to each of my children. neither or my kids have been affected, but i'm not allergic to peanuts so it wasn't much of a problem.

does your wife have her reactions after eating peanuts? or is there another reason for her bouts?

if they are not brought on by peanuts, i think that you might be worrying yourself unnecessarily. however, i am not a doctor.
 
She has reactions randomly, we guess it must be dustmites or pollen or something similar but there is no specific trigger.

What I've read is that eating peanuts quadruples the chance that our child will inherit the same allergies as my wife. That would be a nightmare, my wifes life is regularly disrupted by constant bouts of sneezing - on an almost daily basis.

I'm just hoping that you are right, and I am worrying unnecessarily. What I cannot understand is simply why one would not err on the side of caution on issues such as this. Seems a no brainer.
 
i always thought that IF there was a history of PEANUT/NUT allergies in the family AND she ate peanuts/nuts THEN that would increase the odds of having a PEANUT allergy...not other allergies.

the thing is...it is usually not in your best interest to argue with a pregnant woman. the hormones, the discomfort, the sleepless nights all combine to make most pregnant women into a kind of "dragon-lady" that you would be best served not to argue with.

good luck!
 
Instead of telling your wife not to over consuming the peanuts & telling her that she has these constant sneezing because of it. You can accompany her to her next doctor visit and mention this issue in a more subtle way to get doctor just to double check on her condition. I think you can comfort her and if you really find it uncomfortable just tell her how much you worry about her and ask her to consume less of it, as you are very concern about her.

Some pragnant ladies they have their craving for certain things, you just need to take it easy and explain how much u care for her,and how you feel about her condition.

good luck!
 
Is your wife actually allergic to peanuts? If not then what's the problem?
Her being allergic to dust or pollen is irrelevent to what she eats.
Many of us ate peanuts throughout pregnancy without problems.
I can understand why your wife gets defensive. I don't even know you and your post annoyed me.
Pregnancy is hard enough with all the things you genuinely need to avoid, without being made to feel guilty when you aren't doing anything wrong.
 
Matty said:
I don't even know you and your post annoyed me.
Click to expand...

My post annoyed you? Please let me know exactly what is so annoying about me asking for more information and voicing my concerns. I am certainly happy to be proven wrong, but as you say you don't know me, so labeling my post as annoying is about as rude as me calling your post bitchy, which it is.

Matty said:
Is your wife actually allergic to peanuts? If not then what's the problem?
Her being allergic to dust or pollen is irrelevent to what she eats.
Click to expand...

Are you sure? My reading seems to suggest otherwise. Please check the links below. If you are able to dismiss that information it would certainly take a load off my mind.

Thanks to everyone else for their replies, though. I would like to clarify in response:

cheriebuzz said:
Instead of telling your wife not to over consuming the peanuts & telling her that she has these constant sneezing because of it. You can accompany her to her next doctor visit and mention this issue in a more subtle way to get doctor just to double check on her condition
Click to expand...

I never told her she has constant sneezing because of eating peanuts. She has an allergy to *something* and my reading online seems to indicate (correctly or incorrectly) that eating peanuts during pregnancy MAY increase the chances of our child inheriting the same allergies. I will provide some links below for your comment.

Thanks for the suggestion however, I will certainly mention it to our doctor at the next visit. :)


carang said:
i always thought that IF there was a history of PEANUT/NUT allergies in the family AND she ate peanuts/nuts THEN that would increase the odds of having a PEANUT allergy...not other allergies.
Click to expand...

I had this impression a few years ago, but have been corrected by several doctors (nee midwives). In order for the forum to have some correct information, I am including some links here:

Babycentre
- notice the mention of hayfever, which is relavent in our case

Canada.com

Of course it should be mentioned that there is information online on both sides, but the majority of information seems to gel with Babycentre.


carang said:
the thing is...it is usually not in your best interest to argue with a pregnant woman. the hormones, the discomfort, the sleepless nights all combine to make most pregnant women into a kind of "dragon-lady" that you would be best served not to argue with.
Click to expand...

My wife is certainly not a dragon-lady :) and I am not arguing with her. I posted here simply to enlist the help of those who may know more about this than I do. I certainly wasn't expecting Matty's response, but I am only interested in the best possible health for my child. Annoying as that may be to some ;)

Bottom line. The evidence seems to suggest that if one suffers from allergies, one should not eat peanuts while pregnant. Is that true or is my information flawed?
 
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What annoyed me about your post, is that by second guessing your wife's choices, your are implying that she is somehow being neglectful towards your unborn child.

I have no problem with you trying to gain additional info to calm your concerns, but in the meantime, don't expect your wife not to be angry or annoyed if you treat her like a child.

Feel free to call me a bitch. Right now in my sleep deprived state, I think that's letting me off lightly.
 
I would never call you a bitch, but I did call your post bitchy. I believe it was. I think sometimes mothers forget that fathers are sleep deprived too, but on a forum such as this I would not expect any objectivity in that respect.

What irks me is that your information is plainly wrong. I would hate for this post to be used a reference for expecting mothers with any form of allergy.

I certainly sympathize with my wife but if wanting her not to harm my unborn child with her actions is 'treating her like a child' - then that is simply my DUTY. I'm not sure how other fathers approach this but I could care less. If she was smoking, drinking, chomping on blue cheese, my reaction would be exactly the same. I have never imposed any guidelines or 'set rules' with my wife, but removing my right to question decisions is downright ignorant.

Please never assume you know everything about everything.

I'm sure a few posters in their sleep deprived state would come out and say 'hey you're really annoying, i smoked through my entire pregnancy and my baby is fine, leave your wife alone'.

The logic still applies. If there is any truth to the information in those links, my wife should be staying away from peanuts as much as possible (satay sauce notwithstanding! yum!) for the next 60-90 days. The question remains, is there any truth in those links?
 
Hei Charlatan
I am not a doctor but I can tell you my own experience...
I am 5 months pregnant and since the beginning I couldn't eat anything else rather than nuts and peanunts.
We were concerned as well so we discuss it with our doctor and he told us that actually the real problem of peanuts is when you breastfeed rather than when you are pregnant (same as for strawberries)
So he gave us green light but also said eat everything in moderation!
Let me also say that I do not suffer of any allergies...

Anyway probably the best is to give your wife's doctor a call and share with him your worries.

Good luck
 
I think the only person who can answer your question is a Doctor. We are just a bunch of sleep deprived mothers, what do we know?

What we do know is based on our own experiences- I ate peanuts throughout both my pregnancies and so far no evidence of nut allergies in my kids. However I come from a family with a history of no allergies whatsoever.
I don't think any of us assume to know everything about everything- what we assume to know is based on what we have experienced with our babies and children.

Only a Doctor, or an allergy specialist can tell you what risk is posed to your child by your wife eating peanuts. I'm guessing also that your wife, won't listen to you, but may listen to a Doctor.
Personally I think you are looking in the wrong place for the info. you want.

Personally, also, I've found your posts slightly patronising (but then again I am another sleep deprived Mother).
Yes you have a right to be concerned but your wife is an adult, what she puts into her body is ultimately her choice....if she has the info. and knows she may or may not be putting your child at risk, I'm not sure what you can do about it. Forcefully stop her eating peanuts????

I think when it comes to posts concerning medical info. most Mothers would seek an opinion from a doctor- the post is just a discussion point.

I also think your labeling of posts as 'bitchy,' to be out of order. But I guess we all respond to that label differently.
 
charlatan said:
The question remains, is there any truth in those links?
Click to expand...

I think things like that are so subjective... there MAY be truth in it, there MAY not...

I do think that husbands and wives need to work together and listen to each others concerns and all that... I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and my husband is a bit more "cautious" than me - and so we've talked about things that he would prefer me to not do when I'm pregnant and I try to respect that, even though I would feel find doing it myself. He asked me not to climb on ladders for example - and while I think I could do so safely, I figure it won't hurt me NOT to do that - and it would be hard for me to forgive myself if I didn't agree and then the unthinkable DID happen...

There are always risks with pregnancy - and you can't listen to EVERY "maybe" and "possibly" - because even those things vary so widely... For westerners, sharks fin might be bad but mango is ok - but for Chinese, it's probably the other way around. You and your wife need to TOGETHER try to make educated decisions on those issues - look around on the internet, talk to your doctor, talk about the possibility of maybe avoiding something for the first trimester but then "allowing" it for the second and third or something like that...

For me, sushi was one of those things that I didn't want to give up. I researched the reasons why it's "not allowed" in Western countries, the risks against the benefits... and in the case of sushi, the main risk is about contamination through improper handling and storage... so my husband and I talked about it and I agreed to not eat ANY in the first trimester - but then in the second and third trimester, I have been eating it occasionally - but only in places where I know it's good quality and so I'm minimising the possible risks.
 
Hi Charlatan

I am a father too and I agree with u being concerned about your child's health. Cannot help u with the allergy but would suggest u to get your wife do an allergy test to find out what she is allergic to and talk to her Dr before and explain to him your doubts and then your doctor can speak to your wife. If u speak to the DR infront of your Wife that will lead to some more fights.

Best of luck

Mahesh
 
if pregnant women listened to every single "do not eat" when pregnant, there would be VERY little out there that we COULD eat!

sushi in japan is not "bad" but elsewhere it is...just as an example.

i do think that you are somewhat over-reacting.

you can find information to support ANY argument you want to make on the internet.
 
its hard isn't it....for every argument against, there is one for in pregnancy...i was told by my doctors that it was fine for me to eat peanuts during pregnancy because i didn't have an allergy to them. allergies are more often than not hereditary. if you first establish what your wife's allergy is, maybe then you are half-way there. pregnancy hormones are harsh for some women - they can really rattle you and can really make you react in ways you may otherwise not. i suggest with every "suggestion" you make to your wife, you perhaps interject with "sweetheart i know you know what you're doing but can you tell me about a,b or c, so that i know too. i just really want to be involved"...or some other way that you know your wife will respond to.

i too ate sushi through my pregnancies, every so often, i also ate prawns, oysters as well. i read every risk that was associated with it first, weighed it all up and made decision carefully about where i bought products from. that was my decision. i know women who won't exit their vehicle at gas stations for fear the fumes will affect their unborn child. i know women who won't get the hair dyed. i know women who think having one or two drinks through pregnancy is ok. i know women who think having a low-tar cigarette every now and again is ok. its really hard not to judge every little thing. even though you are trying to get pregnant, having everything thrust upon you with that one little positive test is overwhelming. at the end of the day you know your wife wants a healthy baby at the end of this journey as well and i'm sure she has done as much, if not more, research and you will come out of this together, if you work together. wait til the baby comes and both of you are really really tired....lol...good luck...
 
Peanut allergy

Hi Charlatan,

This forum I believe is for both mums AND dads to ask questions about their children and new to be babies, plus everything that goes with it. I think it was fair to ask your question, and very honest of you to tell us about the sensitive discussion you are having with your wife.

I have a child just diagnosed with a peanut allergy, and no history of allergies in my family. However I ate alot of peanuts in my first pregnancy. I have read that this could have been caused by me consuming peanuts whilst pregnant. If I could go back I would probably not have eaten them, now i know, and I would have definitely have checked with my doctor. Just my opinion, and I know other mums will feel quite different.

Food is a very touchy subject when pregnant, a doctor is best advised to help you. Good luck with the new baby.
 
Wow, you really like to make life hard for yourself..

Simply find out from a medial professional specialising in allergies IF peanuts are an issue in your wife's specific situation.

As many have said in the above threads, there are a huge number of cultural and nation specific 'must not' eat foods, some based on medical evidence and others simply on tradition.

In most cases where there is a degree of known risk (let's say blue cheese and listeria) most women make a judgement call based on the medical evidence. You don't have a 'known' risk - just a possible or perceived risk that could effect some people, nor do you have investigation into your wife's existing allergies. 'Smoking, drinking and chomping on blue cheese' are well documented, medically proven risks that pertain to everyone who is pregnant so your reference is not logical.

Internet research is all well and good, but not a replacement for a medical degree - especially in sensitive situations such as this -e.g. involving the woman you love going through one of the most highly charged, hormonal, emotional, physically and mentally demanding phases in her life.

Frankly, you are entitled to ask questions and be concerned for your unborn child, but if my husband posted something similar to this I would be horrified.
 
If MY husband posted something like this, I would probably stop and think "He really is VERY concerned about this. Is it worth it for me to put him through all that?? Is it really THAT big of a sacrifice for me to make??"

Our husbands are the fathers of our children just as much as we are the mothers - and while we're the ones who carry the children, why SHOULDN'T the husband's fears and concerns be addressed just as much as our own?? He can't control what we do when we're pregnant, but surely he should have SOME say in it too!!

There are soooooo many grey areas - but really, is it THAT much of a sacrifice to make those choices TOGETHER, respecting each others fears and concerns?? I don't think it's "fair" for the mother to get to make all the choices herself without caring about her husband's feelings.

If my husband posted something like this, I might be a bit annoyed - but it really would make me stop and think that I really haven't respected HIS feelings, and HIS fears about his own child...

Just another perspective...


(and I'm not "shouting" when I use all caps - I'm just too lazy to make them all italics for emphasis...)
 
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The nutritionists where I work (they make recommendations for pregnant women and infants/ preschool children) say that a woman should avoid a food if she herself has the allergy to that specific food. there is a family disposition to allergies, but not necesarily the same allergen. so if mom was allergic to peanuts, then baby does have an increased risk of allergies in general, but it may or may not be peanuts that the child is allergic to, it may possibly be peanuts, but it could be milk, or fish, or nothing, or something entirely different. So for your case if mom is allergic to dust pollen, etc, your child may have a higher risk of allergy, but you can't possibly predict what it will be, and because getting good nutirion is important in pregnancy, it would be hard to cut out every single possible allergy causing food and maintain good nutrition, hence the recommendation to avoid what mom herself is allergic to only. Hope this makes sense, if I find a good link I'll post it.
 
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