Dr's visit - unbelievable...

M

mosmom

Registered User
Just want to share my experience of today in a private doc's clinic and want to ask if anyone has had similar experiences:
I had a visit at the gyni's office today about my pregnancy. I previously visited that Dr for check-ups prior to my pregnancy, but never during the pregnancy (now 24wks). Instead, I have been using government facilities (Health Centre and Public Hospital), which have been really great so far. Only that they don't do any more ultrasounds after 20wks or so! So I went to the private Dr today to enquire about my baby's gender, but Dr gave me the following answers:
- You shouldn't be here "just" to ask about your baby's gender.
- Baby's gender is not important anyway.
- What preparations do you need? You only need to prepare 2 names (boy + girl) and some yellow clothing.
- The ultrasound machine I have does not have the sufficient ability to check on the gender (also it depends on the baby's position). It can mainly track the baby's growth.
All in all, I am fine with her not being able to give me a satisfying answer due to my baby's position. But I really don't appreciate her personal opinion in between. Most modern parents want to be ready for their newborn, knowing the gender and buying appropriate clothes, and other stuff.. I felt that she didn't respect that in her personal view. Besides, I didn't go there to listen to her opinion, but to receive professional advice. I am also still receiving regular check-ups at the Govt. Health Centre, so I do get answers to other questions related to my baby's health there. I don't care whether she was personally upset that I only went to ask about my baby's gender in her clinic!
A second thing I'm wondering is: How come the ultrasound machine is not suitable to tell baby's gender, but only to track a growth record? Are there different types of machines? In the end, I walked out having paid 580$ for some general advice and Dr's personal opinion/lecture.
I'm still outraged at what happened today, and was wondering if anyone has come across this sort of a thing? Am i overreacting?
Also, can anyone give me advice where to get a reasonable ultrasound check-up with nice attitude and thorough examination? Believe it or not, she wasn't even gonna mention the heartbeat of the baby if I hadn't asked her! :alien:
Thx for any advice
:thanks
 
Take it easy and dont let it get you.

I do agree that the public hospital do provide much better service than the private one. They are more encouraging and supportive in breastfeeding too. I also went to both public and private doctor while I was pregnant. A lot of time, the private doctor always has to rush as she has so many patients waiting outside. I also wondered why I pay but get such a rush service. Same to those private hospital. We pay but are not allowed to do many things like let our hubby get in the baby room to see baby; not allow to breast feed at recovery room, not allow to room-in baby...etc. So, many things out of our control. Just take it easy then. Doesnt worth to risk your baby if you get too emotional
 
I don't think you're overreacting at all! I would be fuming too. If you want to know that's your biz, and she has no right to lecture you either. Some private Drs do have older machines and it maybe difficult for her to see. I remember our Dr's was pretty ancient looking and one week he told us it was boy and the next a girl.
 
thanks!

Cyberyoda and rani, many thanks for your encouraging words. :banana:
I'm actually surprised coz everyone always recommended me to ALSO see a private doc JUST IN CASE, bla bla.. so I thought..
Oh, I should mention that this is the Union Hospital's Polyclinic in Ma On Shan - where proper equipment should be expected???
 
I had a sort of similar experience with my son's pediatric private doctor. Everytime I went to see him he would say things like "your son (who was 18 months old at the time and was crying because he knew he was going to get injected) needs to be tougher, stop hugging him and babbying him you need to be more strict so he gets tough. Another time he said "if he doesn't feed himself, its simple just take his plate and dump the food in the garbage bin so next time he knows when there is food he needs to eat it". On three different occasions he said things like this and ofcourse I felt very uncomfortable for him giving me this advice where he doesn't even know me or my son and always sounded harsh. Anyways the point is there are a lot of such doctors in Hong Kong.
 
I think you just happened to ran into this insensitive private doc who might never have been a parent so didn't understand the excitment of wanting to know the sex of your unborn child. don't let it get to you too much cos your little baby inside you will feel the fuming in you.

there are different type of ultrasound machine. 2D, 3D & 4D. there's one ob (Dr. Jenny Lam) in Central, who would give you a pic of your unborn baby for HK1000 (that was 2 years ago) without much questions asked. but she's very commercial, but if only wanna find out the sex of your baby, then it's fine.

Daizy, i think i know which ped you're talking about, I used to go to him too, for the first 18mths. then i (and my daughter, poor girl, she's freaked out of him! & so am i) just couldn't take his attitude anymroe & switched.
 
Did she know you were going to the public hospital for your visits?
Perhaps she was just put out that you came for only one ultrasound rathr than the whole package and delivery. No excuse for such an oppinionated consultation though!
 
Bizeemama, I think you're quite right: Guess she WAS a bit freaked out that I hadn't visited her earlier (such that she could've earned more, right? LOL!). But yes, I informed her very clearly that I'd been receiving govt. services, but that they just don't offer ultrasounds after the 20th wk or so. I was, however, planning to see her a couple of more times till delivery. And also thought I could ask the private doc things that you don't usually get to in a public place (coz you assume nurses/docs in public hsptls are way busier). Oh well!
The last time I had a detailed ultrasound scan at the hospital I did ask the nurse, who was doing the scan, whether she could tell me about my baby's sex. The nurse "thought" that "it looked like" a girl, but I honestly thought it would be better to see a doc privately, that I'd get a more accurate answer. Other than that, sure I'm very excited about my little girl! I'd just hate it if I bought all girls' stuff and it turned out to be a boy - LOL! Oh dear, has this happened to anyone of you??
Anyway, thx for everyone's support - I AM over this now, and really glad I've been able to pour my heart out here. Now, I'm just hoping that everything goes well till delivery and DURING delivery.
Oh dear, and hope I never get across a lousy paediatrician who doesn't know about kids!
Good luck to everyone :bighug
 
Maybe a reason why the OB was reluctant

Hi,

I'm not trying to defend the doctor - but some doctors may think that using ultrasound to ONLY check on the gender is unethical. In India & China (where there is a problem w/ female infanticide and gender-based abortion) I believe it is illegal.

Maybe the OB was concerned because you were so up-front about it being about the gender and not about "wanting to see the BB more" or "bonding w/ the BB" or "wanting to be extra-sure and see the heart-beat"?
 
I had my baby in Tokyo. My gynac refused to tell me the gender, point blank. Then she explained that she got a lot of clients from China who just wanted to find out the gender. If it was a girl, they usually aborted it. So as a policy, she didnt reveal the gender to all her clients.
 
I HAD to get back to this thread. Union hospital gave me a surprise call last week to confirm that they received my complaint email and that they fully agreed with me and.... that they would offer me a complimentary US scan at the hospital! Woooow! That was honestly more than I ever expected. I had merely wanted to inform them that one of their OBGYNs simply has an attitude problem, etc. The fact that they called me back, apologised AND offered me the US scan was amazing. So, I had my check-up today (with a different doctor, obviously) and am more than happy with the results. At the end, I got several US pics of my baby, a report from the doctor and an excellent attitude from the staff. I thought I had to share this here in all fairness. Re the gender of my baby... well, check the thread about the 'Chinese Birthing Chart'..
:groupwave:
 
Hi Mosmom,

I can understand how irritating your experience was. I would be upset too!! You are the one who is paying for their medical services! Regardless of whether the doctor thinks it is unethical (which means he is being presumtuous about you) or that he was unhappy that you came in for only one appointment (completely shallow), etc. there is absolutely no reason for any doctor to be unprofessional and rude about it. You had every right to feel the way you did. It is none of anyone's business why you wanted to know the gender of your baby. I fully support your situation and am sorry you had to go through that. :bighug
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top