Dream Feeds and waking more often

S

Shenzhennifer

Registered User
My 3.5 month old started to sleep longer (4.5-6 hrs) at a stretch but unfortunately this was mostly during my awake time. I fed him after his bath around 7pm and he would wake up around 12 or 1 usually. So I decided to start `dreamfeeding him` and I would pick him up right before I went to bed (around 12) and he would be half awake, would feed, I`d put him down and then he would be good until around 3-3.30.

But now I`m finding that he is waking up hungry (rooting around, whimpering, biting his hand) even before I go to him.

Also, once he has his `long` stretch of sleep, he`s back to being up every 2.5-3 hrs for the rest of the night.

I love the little guy, but mama wants some more sleep. So I`m wondering :
1) if my dream feeds have started to cause him to wake up early
2) why he is still waking so often to feed at 3.5 months
3) is it bc my milk might not be enough (yes, THIS question again...)? I should mention that I breastfeed only and he usually will refuse a bottle.

Signed,
Sleepy Mama
 
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Shenzhennifer,

How about just moving his dreamfeed a little earlier? I used to dreamfeed my LO at about 10:30pm and then she would sleep till about 1-2am. This stretch got longer and longer over time. Then you could also go to bed earlier! I think 3.5 months is still a little early for consistent long stretches and every baby is different. I remember things got smoother for me around 4-5 months and it all started to make more sense :). I would get sporadic long stretches but nothing consistent. (boy were they heavenly when they came!). And i was in the same situation where after she slept a long stretch she then was up a few times before morning. These wakings also eventually became less frequent. Hang in there!

I doubt your dreamfeed is making him wake up earlier. He could be going through a growth spurt and just needs some more attention/milk at this time. I also wouldn't worry about your milk supply.
 
Second, all of cyberfish88's advice. Definitely dream feed earlier. Perhaps you could also cluster feed in the evening?
 
As for whether or not you have enough milk, if he is growing well and gaining weight, then yes you do.i tis completely normal for babes to still wake up every few hours after that long stretch, both of mine did, gradually over time the long stretch got longer and longer. I ended up with the same pattern of the long stretch being around 7:00 or 8:00 and then babe getting up just after I feel asleep for the night so I never got a long strech of sleep. I feel for you! It was hard. What helped for me is I made my self go to bed no later thatn 0900 pm, and then we had a time change which woked out to my advantage. I never did the dream feed thing, but I know for some people this works
 
Just wanted to add that even as my babies got older and slept longer (they still got up 1-2 times/night for at least a year, longer with my second) for some reason it always seemed to be as soon as I fell asleep no matter what time I went to bed. Even now, the rare time my preschooler wake up it is after I fall asleep, I dont' know how they know!
 
I really feel for you as I remember how it feels to be sleep deprived. I would also recommend doing a 10.30 dream feed and cluster feed in the early evening. That way you can get to bed earlier. Hang in there - they do sleep for longer eventually!:gl:
 
I didn't do dream feeds for very long as I found the same thing. Some told me that it could be a growth spurt and baby was getting hungry and needed a little more food (couldn't she do this during the day though!).

I have no sure answer other than trial and error. Drop the dream feed and see how many times bub wakes. I think you will need a couple of days to adjust to new routine.
 
I put my baby on a 3-hr schedule and later on to a 4-hr schedule (right before bb reaching 3-month old) as stated in the book namely "On Becoming Baby Wise". I know that it is quite controversey on whether we should put a baby on a schedule. I find that it works quite well. The longest sleep of my baby would be after his last feeding at 11pm. My baby has actually quited the night feeding when he was 9-weeek. Now, I feed him every 4-hr and he never cries earlier than that. Nearly everybody said I shouldn't do that b/c I had to wake my bb up to feed him. However, my bb grows extremely well. He is now 3.5m and is now 15lbs (almost double his weight at birth). By putting baby on schedule, I can have better sleep. I can go out to do shopping, and meet friends without worrying my bb crying for food. So, why not?

The book mentioned that bb who are being put on schedule will get the most out of each feeding so they grow better. Furthermore, mother's milk supply would be better. Yes, it works for me. I can have extra 15oz milk in the fridge everyday.
 
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Last night I did the dream feed at 10.30. he woke up at 1.30, then every 2 hrs after, sometimes each hour. It was not a nice nice. I think I will go back to my dream feed right before I sleep and if I stil am experiencing it, I might just drop it altogether. it`s hard for me to go to bed earlier though - I have to do his nighttime routine, then cook dinner, eat it, piddle around a bit and shower...and find some time to talk to my husband too!
I know that 3.5 months is still a bit young to expect longer sleeping, but it`s just that I know they have the capacity to do so, and so I hope it will happen. I`m just really tired:)
I still wonder if my milk IS enough... only because if he was satisfied, he shouldn`t be waking so often! BUT on the other hand, he is very healthy, growing like a weed, born at 2.9 kgs and at 3.5 months he`s now 6.5, more than double! He was on a growth spurt a couple of weeks ago,,,I guess he could be on another but so soon?

kerokero - I also read the book when I was pregnant as I have a friend who swears by it. I had real high hopes that were soon diminished once I met my baby and experienced motherhood. I`m thinking of revisiting the book a bit, and if there are continual problems, thumbing through some of the others, like baby whisperer, gina ford, etc. I know babies thrive on routine for the most part, but I guess it depends on what degree of routine - my son has made his own, but it can vary and that is ok with me. It`s just these bloody nighttimes that are starting to get the best of me. He`s just not looking as cute at 4.30am when I saw him the hour before!
Let`s see what tonight brings:)
 
Brings back lots of memories of one of my little ones at that age. I used to dream feed about 10 and she would always wake before 2am and sometimes like you say every hour or so. Someone mentioned to me not giving the dream feed and see if it made any difference. The first night I stopped she slept better, still woke at 3, but not again until 5.30 which compared to waking every hour was fantastic. I didn't use the dream feed again except when I knew she'd not eaten enough during the day or was sick, and I found her to be much more settled at night. She's 10 months now...still not a great sleeper. I know this doesn't work for all babies, her twin sister was the opposite - took me a long long time to drop the dream feed, but she'd sleep all night.
The only other suggestion would be to wake him fully at dreamfeed time and play with him for 30 - 45 mins and then put him back to bed. He should be more tired and may sleep better.

Good luck and hang in there :o)
 
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