Crying it out

yay!! Clowe, it's working for you!!
I have to say my kids took/are taking much longer than 5-7days to CIO!! Glad to hear it actually works in that time span for most other moms.

WRT traveling and time change, when i did CIO the first time I had actually flown from HK to Toronto alone with baby and I would sleep all day literally from 4pm until 4am for the first week. I was sooo tired!! When he would wake up in the night to feed, I just fed him his milk, in the dark, in my bed. Yeah...so we developed some really bad habits.

after we finally adjusted our times, I turned to CIO. I actually talked to my inlaws in advance to see what they thought. My MIL raised 3 boys all 2yrs apart without any help so she was very familiar with the method already. It helped to talk to them beforehand so I wasn't caught in the moment with a crying baby and explanations to my inlaws.

In the mornings, when my son was up at 6am, i would leave my bedroom door open and when one of them would walk by, I would just say something like "oh it's not time to wake up yet" and they would retreat to their room.

I also explained why I need the baby to be independent, and that if the baby got used to being rocked or rescued, that when we went home, I would have to deal with all the bad habits on my own. They understood.

Happy travels!!! Here are some tips for dealing with jet lag!
http://pokedandprodded.health.com/2...ay-travel-8-ways-to-minimize-jet-lag-in-kids/ Mostly for older kids but I think it's still a good approach.

Mushi, i use grobags too. We didn't do the cot bumper thing...no particular reason. I think we didn't have the need to since ours were in grobags from 2mths or so.
 
So tonight I tried putting my 6mth old to bed earlier than usual. I was reading my suggestion for clowe to try putting her baby down earlier at nap time and realized maybe that's why I have been having such a hard time and the crying is lasting 45mins every other night!! I usually put him to bed around 7 or 730 but tonight I moved dinner up to 5pm, then bath at 6pm and bedtime at 645pm and he cried for 20mins on and off but he just sounded much better than the other nights! and the non-cry bits were much longer.

I'm so silly because I now remember with my older son, he used to have a 630pm bedtime for a while and would be up at 7 or 730am (my memory is soooo bad these days!!!). He went onto this later schedule of 7 or 730pm bedtime after he was 18 or 19mths i think. he didn't always wake up at 8am. Anyway I know I'm rambling but I'm sort of kicking myself because I feel like I should have know to put him to bed earlier!!! how could i not remember??? It's now 730 and the house is so quiet and I think I will call the baby sitter and go join my hubby for dinner to celebrate!! It will be our first dinner out without babies in 6mths!!!!

here is a link to other supportive parents of CIO that I was reading for comfort:
http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/sleep/cry.html
 
wow, i really love this forum....after i put my kids to bed i really look forward to reading your comments!! milkmonster u sure make me laugh with yr humourous style of writing .... am sure it must be tough but how easy we all make it sound....i remember on those sleepless nights i used to swear i would not take it for even one more night but the next day would come and go and in the night i would be doing eactly the same thing - nursing, rocking and cursing!!

thanks for all yr advice ladies ...i will be on a 3 hrs diff in tome zone from HK so i hope its not going to be too bad and i should be able to continue CIO....though i plan to attend some family weddings out there and those days/evenings would create havoc for me....so i am keeping my fingers crossed/.

wanfamily....i am glad i can inspire u to do CIO...and yes it is a good thing u will be starting it only after u r back from your vacation....i wanted to wait too since i only had 2.5 weeks in hand before my trip.....but i had reached the very last straw as they say with nipples cracked, back breaking and a squirming baby in hand i was not left with much choice....in fact most of decision steemed form the fact that i could not carry him properly any longer....he would keep wiggling and i had to keep putting him down.

today was a "terrible mother day" for me....my abby has loose motions with a sore very red bum....so the day was spent cleaning poo and applying cream (PLEASE SUGGEST A GOOD NAPPY RASH CREAM) to a cranky and crying baby....then i thought of being an unselfish mum and reverted back to feeding him by breast instead of bottle so that he gets better soon.....not realising my milk has almost gone dry ....my baby did not get his full and kept being cranly all the time i thought it was because of his bum, and i kept blowing cool air onto his bum....when finally at lunch time he had double of what he had i Finally realised the problem!!....i gave him his bottle after that which he gratefully took......to add to that this evening i made him sit on my bed while i changed....but my poor baby fell off the bed onto the floor.....i still canlt forget that 'thud' noise....gosh i felt so very very lousy and guilty i can't express....he is fine though thank God!! ....and the final addition to my dreadful day was when he puked oout all his dinner thanks to his over enthusiastic mum who tried to shove a tiny piece of fried potato in his mouth thinking he would like it!! and the night is yet to pass.............GOD SAVE MEE!!
 
Anyone done cio after co sleeping?

Was up for 3 hours last night patting and shushing - it was like he had a motion sensor on him. He'd be happily fast off with a grin on his face and then the moment I got into bed he'd be screaming! I went to him no less than 37 times (that's when I stopped counting!)Finally, realising that my toddler would be up for breakfast in a few hours I gave in and put him in bed with me where he happily slept for what was left of the night. He used to be not so bad until he was ill and I had a few nights letting him sleep with me. I also had his nap time sussed - a few pats in his cot every day at the same time and he was off. Unfortunately some lovely workmen upstairs have decided that naptime is the perfect time to start drilling holes in my ceiling, so the last few nap times, he's being cuddling me while I put the douvet over his ears every time the drilling starts. (If I don't he wakes up screaming - it is that loud that a CD player at loud volume can't mask it!)

Anyway..... Bad time for CIO now as he doesn't have his own room yet. (Can't really turn my hubby out of his study in the middle of his exams) plus we'll be off to the UK in 2 weeks and things will go belly up then. I'm tempted to give in and let him co-sleep with us until then, but then think it's going to be harder to train him if he's had 3 - 4 weeks of co-sleeping. I'm ok with a few pat pat shush's every night until then, but not most of the night like it is now. AHHHHHH. Anyone had anything similar happen??

The lyrics to my lullabies (on the confess your sins) are now unsharable!!
 
Has anyone does the CIO and share the bedroom with the baby?
HOw do you do it if he wakes up at night and demand to be picked up?
 
I won't be doing it until he has his own room - We'll giving him his own room in Jan (hubby will be getting kicked out of his study!). Can't see how it would be possible in the same room. He puts his face against the bars, looks at me and screams - can't ignore that, so I comfort him and then put him back. Would be interested to know if anyone has managed it!
 
Having had such great success with this method last night was terrible. She woke at 4.15 and cried until 5.45am when she finally nodded off - I didn't count the times I went in to see her but it was quite a few, I only picked her up once though and as soon as I did I got a big smile and a hug!! Put her straight back down but I think that put me back to square 1.

Am quite disappointed and disheartened that after being so good for a week she seems to have gone right back to the beginning. Hoping for a better night tonight!

I don't have the baby in our room, but I imagine the theory would be the same, except instead of leaving the room you lie down on the bed.
 
Paddles, don't be disheartened - it's really common that after 5 days or 1 week, it all slips back. The person I was getting advice from told me that exact thing and sure enough, on day 5 it was like it was the beginning! You should just keep on being totally consistent. After a few more days and my bub was back to falling asleep after 5 mins - after 2 weeks there was no crying at all.
 
We all have terrible mother days but I like to think that it is just life and no one is perfect and as long as your heart is in the right place, your kids will be fine : )

Oh those sleepless nights!!!! I am such a DRAGON when I don't get enough sleep or when the day has been tough....We are on day 2 of babies going to bed at 630pm. I also put my 22mth old to bed at the same time and he doesn't seem to mind so I am grateful for that. Tonight hubby and I called the baby sitter again and went out for buffet with some friends and it was really really nice to be ourselves again and not in parent mode. Hang in there mommies, quiet nights are just around the corner!!!! 6mth old baby still cries but it's on and off (2mins here, 5mins there) for 20-30mins and not very loud, kind of like complaining so this is a huge improvement for us.

for CIO in the same room. we did this when we traveled and the baby was in the same room as us. we used our pillows to kind of shield our faces and chatted to each other on our blackberries until the crying stopped. we would also use the camera function on the phone to see if he was asleep yet so neither of us had to move just in case he was not down yet. I found it better if he couldn't see our faces. We would just lay on the bed and wait it out.

I did CIO at 9 or 10mth with my first son and we were sleeping in the same room at night because we were visiting my inlaws. if he woke up crying, i lay still and waited 20mins before getting up to put him back down. The shush pat thing did not work for us. haha you can read about that here when my elder son was 9mths:
http://blog.milkmonsterlaughs.com/2007/10/sleep-dance.html

i don't think 11mths is too late. CIO is about teaching your baby not to wake up for attention at night time. I don't think any age is too old but I think it gets harder the older to leave it. and the older they are, the more unbearable it is especially if they are calling you and crying - i don't think i could take that!!!

i actually still co-sleep during the day for naps sometimes. i did the same with my older son. kids are really smart and they soon learn the difference between night and day and what is acceptable behaviour for each circumstance. in my situation, maybe that is why it took/takes longer for CIO to work for us because it can be confusing at first for the baby but I figured it was good for the kids and i to have those moments together than to cut them out completely...i stopped co-sleeping naps with my older son at 1yrs old. with the younger one, i don't have as many opportunities to nap but maybe once or twice a week we have a little snooze in the bed together.

there will be relapses with CIO. If you travel, time changes, too exciting of an afternoon, over tiredness, illness. I mentioned before that my older son didn't stop crying before bedtime until 18 or 19mths. Now, at 22mths, there is NEVER any crying at bedtime unless it's dad who is putting him to bed and he is asking for mommy. (he is now at an age where he will decide who will do what for him. i.e. I will say, "time to take a poopoo" and he will say "dada poopoo" meaning he wants his dad to take him. If i then try to take him, he will protest and cry for whomever he asked for.

The crying is really hard to take but as an experienced mother i now know that there will be lots of crying over the years and that is just part of having kids. before i didn't really get that. i thought my kids are only happy if there are no tears ever so the crying was really really hard on me. i often would cry too. now, it's still really hard to listen to and hubby and i fight the most when there is crying since it's stressful but I know that the crying is not hurting him in any way. this is just how life is sometimes, you have to just learn and the learning part is tough but you make it out a stronger person with another lesson learned. maybe too hardcore for a baby but it's just a general frame of mind I have since i am also dealing with an almost 2yr old:)

hubby is leaving tomorrow for 7day!!! how i will manage to put the kids to bed at the same time is still in question!!! i'm scared!!!
 
wanfamily, if i were u i would just let the baby co-sleep till after u get back from your holiday....u have to teach him in any case so what he does now should not matter....how old is yr baby anyway? i did the co-sleeping bit for one or two nights .... this is of crse pre-CIO and it just did not work for me as my baby would cry anyway even if i tried to pat him and all so ultimately i would ahve to get up which was even more tiring since i would be really very groggy....atleast that few steps form my room to his would wake me up a wee bit.

adahc, whether u co-sleep or not at present once the CIo starts it should be in his own room only....it would too difficult to be in the same room and not picking him up unless of crse u r on a holiday like Milk monster.....in fact on my holiday i do plan to sleep in the same room so let';s see..else i am just preparing myself to start all over again once i am back.

and yes CIp does work for most nights but there r a few where something goes wrong and we r back to square one....but there r always exceptiosn in life...the point is u do not forget or let him the rule....

i guess my baby also understand the diff in daytime and nighttime....daytime i rock him to sleep and never let him when he wakes up ina short time....night time after rocking him to sleep i let him CIO.
 
the other option when traveling is to hide out in the washroom. Now that we have 2 kids, we always try to find hotels that have a separate bedroom so our older son can sleep without the little baby crying and waking him up.
 
i've been trying to get my 8month old to sleep without being nursed for the past 3 days. I've managed so far but now my daughter is refusing to eat her solids. She's either teething or has a cold. So, if she wakes up in the night, it could be because she is hungry. In which case, what do I do? Ignore the fact that she's possible hungry or feed her and encourage the return of bad habits?
 
i think when they are sick it's hard to do CIO...personally, I wouldn't let a sick baby cry at night, especially if they are not eating well during the day...sorry i guess in this case, you would go back to old habits and then start again with CIO after she is better. My younger son is sick too at the moment (what is this bug that's going around?! it's so bad!! fever, cough, runny nose!!) poor kid is not eating well at all, refuses solids (he's 7mths) and is only taking formula, but much less that he has before. i am now feeding him to sleep bc i am so worried he's not eating enough and if he wakes up at 5 or 6am i wake up to feed him. will go back to CIO once he is feeling better...take care! hope your daughter recovers soon! it's so tough when they're sick...
 
Thanks milkmonster.

I'm really struggling with this whole cio situ anyway, and my daughter has become clingy during the day which makes me wonder if me doing the cio this has made her feel insecure or if it's because she seems to be unwell. She's just not a happy bunny at the mo.

Hope your son feels better soon!
 
putput...just hold on CIO for a week i would say....see if it gets her smiles back....if not then its not CIO so atleast that would assure u.... u can get her checked physically by the doc and let him know that u r planning to do CIO so u need to be sure that all is well with her. u would be surprised how much HK docs support u on CIO.....i am a successful CIO mom too and if u read my earlier posts it wasn;t as bad as i had expected.....but nowadays once in while he does cry at night and depending on the cry which i ahve figured out by now i go and attend to him....so all the best!! and let us know if u need any advice.


BTW ladies i am off on a 3-week holiday to India and may not check my emails / internet so regularly hence wishing u all "Merry Christmas and Very Happy New Year!!"..... i am planning to do as much CIO as possible during this holiday and then start all all over again if need be when i get back, bye.
 
Have a great holiday Mushi!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!!

PutPut, usually when my kids are sick, they are clingy and emotional - i don't think it has anything to do with CIO. Hold off until they are well again and you are emotionally ready. It's tough enough already to do CIO and follow through, don't start if you don't think it's the right time. Eventually you will get there and we are all here to support you through it!!!
 
Hi moms, I've been following this thread with great interest since I too have a baby (9 mths now) who is not sleeping well at all. Right now he gets up at least twice in the night after being put down at 8:30-9p.m. - usually around 12 a.m. and again around 3-4'ish. I usually nurse him back to sleep (v bad, i know). Anyway, it's doubly hellish b/c i'm a working mom.

So I've been meaning to do CIO (i get this great resolve when I read your posts, which is v inspiring) but the reason I haven't started is because I know my husband most likely won't go for it. (We've had a conversation and he says "we can try" in this doubtful voice which means that he'll probably go in when it gets tough.)

My question is this: my HELPER is very supportive of the process and we are thinking of doing it for the daytime naps first and LATER trying it out for bedtime. So my question is: is that possible? Or should I just try to convince my husband?

I would really appreciate your advice. Thanks!!
 
Not really in a position to advise seeing as I'm in the same boat but I think CIO for daytime naps but not night sleep would be harder. Firstly, your day passes by with your little one crying and it's frustrating. Secondly, I find it screws up the night time routine as by the time my daughter's asleep, it's too close to her next nap time or bed time. Thirdly, assuming the room is brighter during the day, baby can be easily distracted and find it harder to settle. I guess if you're doing both day and night, it's neither her nor there but just daytime may be tough. Experienced CIO mums can probably advise better!
 
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