crying all day

W

wandasmart

New member
my 5 wk old baby girl seems to be having a crying fit.. she will have a long feed, at which point she then falls asleep. after i delatch her from my breast, she will cry and cry, but she only then suckles for comfort. she refuses to take a pacifier, but my breasts are so sore from soothing her. then when we try to put her into her cot, moses basket or bouncy chair she will not settle and cries even after we have picked her up. she has hardly slept at all during the day yesterday or today and we are worried she must be so exhausted. but she is still unable to settle into sleep. what used to be crying until we pick her up, has now escalated to crying even after being picked up.. we have tried to burp her over our shoulder, sitting up on our lap with her back straight and her chin on our opposite hand. we tried rocking her to sleep in our arms and she still finds i hard to settle.

we don't think it is her not getting enough food, as she has had so many diaper changes both wet and dirty that it shouldn't be hunger?

Can anyone suggest to me how to calm my baby girl? And why is she so unsettled and cranky??
 
I do feel for you as it is hard to hear your baby cry. It's also hard when you're tired and your hormones are everywhere. Some newborns do go through a phase of being unsettled, though I'm not too sure why. Some babies like to be held more than others and there are those who sleep well from day one (not fair!).

I found The Baby Whisperer books quite useful, especially The Baby Whisperer Solves your problems (I think that's the title) quite helpful for tips and reassurance.

Hope things get better.
 
One of the best tips I was given when my daughter had colic was to give her 100 burping strokes on her back. That's right, keep trying to burp her until you reach 100. Often at 90 something our daughter would let out a huge beltch!
 
Dear Mamalicious,

It sounds from your description that your baby wasn?t ready to be born. This is the way my husband described our first daughter. She was only happy if she was in our arms and seemed to want to feed all the time. I remember being so worried about her and my ability to be a good mother. Why did she need to be held all the time? Why did she need to feed so much? She clearly was getting enough milk because she doubled her birth weight before she was three months old.

Now looking back ? she was 18 years old earlier this year - I recognize that she was a sensitive baby and thus has sensitive needs. She hasn?t changed her temperament as she has grown older ? although, thank god, she did stop crying at around three months. She grew into a sensitive child and is now a sensitive adult.

This may sound hard but it is wonderful to have a sensitive child and adult around. She picks up when someone isn?t coping and helps out. She always seems to know what to say to make a bad day better. And she is the person in her class that everyone turns to for help and advice because she understands.

I truly believe that she couldn?t be the sensitive person she is today without being that sensitive baby. Sometimes how we are as babies is because of our personalities and not because the parents are doing anything wrong.

The three things that helped me the most were having pressure on her stomach, (So we held her in positions against us, she especially liked to be walked around looking over a shoulder.) having a sling so she was against me but my hands were free and learning to breastfeed lying down. I would read books and watch TV while I fed her and if I was tired I could also sleep. This also meant that I could roll away from her when she was asleep. Moving her once asleep seemed guaranteed to wake her up. So the settling her then had to be started all over again.

Best wishes,
Barb
 
Hi mamalicious,

I totally understand what you are going through as I went through exactly the same problem before.

For colic, I tried gripe water, wind-drops, and really make sure I hear my baby burp before I give up burping. There are lots of ways to burp the baby, and you just have to trial and error and see which method best suits your baby. (maybe ask a midwife about it, if you are interested to learn more ways of burping). If once in a while, you can't burp your baby somehow, make sure you place him on his side on the bed to avoid him/her chocking on his/hers throw-ups.

For sore nipples, I use Avent nipple protector when I let my baby suck on my breasts until I get better. You can buy them from Mothercare, Bumps to babes etc. Make sure you get the right size, I think they have small, medium and large.

For soothing the baby to sleep, I use this wonderful oil called Aceite De Manzanilla to rub the baby's tummy and back before letting him latch on my nipple. If you have a Filipino helper, send her to Worldwide house to get it. It's cheap though I can't remember how much it is.

Hope this helps. Good Luck!

:cheerlead :gl:

Hunhun
 
Hi mamalicious,

Just want to say that although you may feel bad about it, you should try getting out of the house once in a while, and relax yourself. Strange but true, if you feel tensed up and worried, the baby will react the same way, feeling all tensed up and worried the same way as you feel. If you are all relaxed, somehow, they relax a bit too. So I would seriously suggest you to asking someone (maybe your husband will be nice enough to do so?) look after the baby for an hour or so once a day, so that you can go out and relax...go shopping! That's the best! My hubby used to rent DVDs home, closed my door and made me watch the movies, and he would secretly turn up the volume so that I can't hear the baby cry. That worked too. Just do anything, anything that will take your mind off the crying. You have been nothing but a great mom and you definately deserve some rest!!!!!

Hunhun
 
Hunhun,

the thing you use to rub your baby's tummy and back to help her sleep... is it menthol smelling? i have bought a something a frd suggested but do not find it works well for my baby. what is the thing you suggested?

thanks!
 
I don't know too much about it actually, all I am sure is, it's pure herbal and it worked for my baby. It came in a small clear bottle and the oil is green in colour. It just smells herbal, not Mentholatum kind.
 
Hi :burnout:

During the first two months, my baby also was quite difficult. Like for you, I was nursing her all the time. Sometimes, she was really hungry, sometimes, she will just take me as a geant pacifier. Like you, it wasn't without consequences for my nipples. I have had sore nipples, and was even bleeding at one time. Every time I had to nurse her, I was near tears ! So I have read a lot about breastfeeding, and it seems that she wasn't latching on well.

So after this small introduction to tell you that you are not alone and that having and caring for her baby is not so easy at all (I'm going crazy with all these people telling me : "But, are you not bored at home ?"), let me tell you about all the solutions that had worked for mine, some have already been mentionned :

- taking lot of time to burp her. Sometime, the burp will come out even after half an hour later !!!

- massaging her tummy in a round motion, clock wise. But I didn't use any oil.

- putting her to bed, but staying with her with one hand on her tummy and the other stoking her head like I sometime do when she's nursing and humming a song ("love me tender" worked fine for me), just so she can hear my voice.

- On very last resort, - because I'm a little bit afraid of this solution after all I've read about the Sudden Infant Death Syndrom - I would put her to sleep on her tummy. She would never cry long once like this, and most of all, she will sleep way longer than on her back. I only let her sleep like this during the day when I can often go and check on her. I have notice that once wake up, her tummy is much smaller, the air has been coming out naturally.

- Father solution : He carries her around with her tummy in his hand and her head near the elbow and the other arm is securing her. I have just read today in the book "The womanly art of breastfeeding", that it is call the colic hold ! I just don't know where he has picked up this one ;-)

- Grandmother solution : she does a small nest with cover and pillows and put her in the middle. Like my 'on the tummy' solution, it is only okay for me if it is during the day so that we can check often if she is ok and controlling that she can breath freely. I think that she feel secure in her nest, like when she was in the womb.

To conclude, now that she is nearly 4 months old, I just have to put her to bed, play her music box and stroke a little her head to put her to sleep. I'm not even waiting for her to really sleep before leaving her :cheerlead


I hope that one of these solutions will help you too.

Best wishes,
 
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