control crying

dear jane,
thanks for sharing with me. well, the second night of control crying he slept from 8 to 5.30 am. took him 7 minuites of crying before he fell asleep. a miracle!!!!!!!!!! but at 5.30 when he woke up i decided to feed him and continue control crying because it's too early for him to wake up. it took 51 minutes of crying to make him go back to sleep and he slept till 9 am which i had to wake him up cos it's too late in the morning already. last night, he slept at 8.30 after believe it or not, 45 seconds of crying. and he slept till 7.30 in the morning in which also, i had to wake him up because i was afraid it will affect his day time nap. but i am still having trouble making him take his day time nap. today, he cried for an hour for his afternoon nap after which i gave up and picked him up and abandoned the plan for an afternoon nap. i dont understand why it's so easy for control crying to work for night time sleep but not for day time nap. i am having such difficulty with morning and afternoon nap. any suggestion?
 
Shalom you are really doing well ! Wish I could get my daughter to sleep to 7.30am !

Hmmm, I'm no expert, but I have a few tips from my daughter and also girls in my mothers group have used:

1. routine - at 8 months he'd still be having 2 naps? When he is tired, but not over tired, put him down at the same time. Same clothes and routine as night time (skip the bath).
2. How dark is the room during the day? My daughter responded well to a dark room.
3. Tire them out - especially as they start crawling and walking. Maybe go for a walk in the fresh air - I used to take a picnic blanket to the park and let my daughter crawl around the grass.
4. Off to bed with a dry nappy, warm but not hot and a full tummy.

I've heard that daysleeps can take longer than nights to sort out, just stick with it.

Good luck.
 
I just wanted to say well done Shalom for sticking it out :-) I didn't want to say it earlier in case you found it took longer, but our daughter took two nights as well to 'get with the program'.

P.S. It's amazing hearing you talk about your 8 month old as it seemed like just a few months ago that you were anouncing that you no longer needed fertility advice as you were pregnant :-)
 
giggle!!!! thanks slee!!!!!!!! i really wanted a baby after i was married last year and tried for about 6 month and started thinking that i might be infertile. i was so surprised that in the midst of finding out about the cost of fertility treatment i got pregnant. now i am dealing with an 8 month old. gosh, how time flies!!!
 
jane,
i try giving him two day time naps based on gina ford's book on routine. i didn't follow strictly to it but i try to. gina's idea for a 6-9 month old is two day time naps that is not longer that 3 hours in total. i find that hard to follow as my son usually sleep less that 2 hours in the day, sometimes even less that one.
 
Shalom

My daughter never really fitted into the Gina Ford routine. I loved the idea of being able to predict my day, but these little ones have different ideas.

From memory, at that age Gina recommends a short morning sleep, long midday sleep and possibly a catnap in the afternoon?

I found my daughter responded better to a good morning sleep - say around 10am'ish she'd usually sleep 1.5 hrs - then usually a shorter afternoon sleep, say 45mins at about 2.30'ish. I personally would have preferred the longer sleep in the afternoon, but she had other ideas. We'd have a big play in the morning, sleep, then park/walk/baby group/etc, then afternoon sleep, more play then bedtime (7pm). My daughter was in the 6-9 month range over winter, so that routine worked for us.

I don't like the way Gina wakes sleeping children - my gosh if they want to sleep, let them. I also don't think one routine can fit all types of children. For example, my daughter dropped to one day sleep at 10 months. Most children only go to one sleep at 12-18 months.

My bub was only getting about 2 -2.5hrs day sleep as well at that age. Nothing I could do to convince her she needed more even though she did.

Surprisingly, I've found that at about 2 years she sleeps better than ever. Strange for such a cheeky sleeper in the beginning !

Personally I would just use Gina as guidance, then follow what your baby wants to do. Just follow the same routine each day and watch for his cues. He'll soon tell you what he needs.

Wishing you the best of luck
 
dear jane,
today is the 7th day of control crying and so far it's been good. ds never cry more than 5 min now for night time sleep although he still cry each time i put him in the cot. problem is he always wake up early morning between 5-6am, i will feed him and he will cry for another 10-15 min before falling asleep and wakes up at 8 am. still, compared this to before i try control crying, it's a dream come true for me because now i can get uninterrupted sleep at night, at least until 5 am. also, i have noticed that ds has become more cheerful and less cranky in the day, probably because he had a good sleep at night. i am glad that i gave control crying a try. only thing that worry me is that he also has developed a phobia of the cot. each time when i entered the room with him in my arms, the minute he saw the cot he will grab hold of me very tight and i can see alarm and even fear in his eyes because he think i am going to leave him there again to cry. this is the only down side. hopefully he will slowly learn to associate the cot with his sleep and that it's a comfortable place for him.
 
dear shalom
to overcome a fear of the cot, I highly recommend a method suggested in Elizabeth Pantley's no-cry sleep solution book. Namely, spend a few minutes each day playing and talking with your baby in the cot (it may only be a few seconds on the first day, but you should be able to gradually build this up to a few minutes). Once he's comfortable playing and talking in the cot with you there, you can gradually withdraw for longer and longer periods, leaving him to play there by himself. This method worked really well for me to help get my baby to stay in his cot. Up to around 2 months, he used to cry every time I put him in there at bedtime and I had to keep picking him up and comforting him repeatedly every night. I was tempted to just take him into bed with me, but felt I really should persist with trying to get him used to his cot. Now, after using the playing-in-cot method, he rarely cries at bedtime and often even goes into his cot with a smile! He is now 4 months and wakes up once in the night for feeding, and happily goes back into his cot after that feed with no protest whatsoever. Pantley suggests that sleep-trained babies are often particularly fearful of the cot, so you may first need to just spend playtime with him near his cot, before actually putting him in there to play. Gina Ford also suggests a similar method - on p.89 of her book (on my edition of it) - I mention the page reference since your earlier posts indicate you also have the GF book. Wishing you and your baby luck!
 
Shalom - your little man is doing so well ! And he has learnt so quickly ! I think that needing a drink of milk at about 5am is pretty normal at that age. Luckily for you he goes back to sleep - I do remember my cheeky monkey thinking that 5am was morning, much to my horror. I'm sure that the 5am wake up call will get later and later as he gets older.

As for fear of the cot - he is probably just protesting going to sleep. Being up and playing with you is much more interesting than sleeping.

I agree with elaphantine, that playing in the cot can help. Perhaps when he wakes up (either in the morning or after daytime sleeps), start by spending a few minutes just tidying the room, talking cheerfully to him and letting him sit up and watch you. Personally I wouldn't encourage him playing by himself there too much, as you want him to associate it with sleep, not playtime.

Is it the cot that he objects to, or being in his bedroom? If the bedroom, you could play games on the floor, read stories in a comfy chair, etc.

He is quite new to the concept of putting himself to sleep and I'm sure that he will learn to love his cot soon.

Good luck.
 
dear jane,
Success!!!!!!! i dont have to use control crying anymore because by now, he associate the bed with sleep. now, he falls asleep very fast by the time i put him in the cot. he wakes up once during the night which is between 11-12, i will feed him some milk and he will sleep till 7 am. i am so happy now and my life is so much better now with this new routine. thanks for being there for me.

shalom
 
Shalom - congratulations to you and your little one. You have really come a long way in such a short time. Well done !
 
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