i thought this whole 'confinement' concept is only for chinese people
You know, as a completely non-Asian foreigner, when I was pregnant with my son I really thought the whole "confinement concept" was outdated and well, very foreign. I think I was a bit naive and prideful actually and couldn't see the true wisdom in the practice.
I'm married to a local Chinese man who isn't at all into traditional Chinese things but through research over the past few years I've come to really respect the concept of confinement and what it is trying to accomplish.
In my own country, there is an unspoken attitude of "So? You just gave birth to a baby? Get up and get out there--afterall, women nowadays work outside the home and are moms at the same time, why close yourself off from the world just because you happen to be post-partum?" I bought into this "super woman" mentality personally and really paid for it with my health and sanity. At the time we were not in Hong Kong and were traveling around staying in various friends' homes so I didn't have the option of truly slowing down and "confining" myself for recovery. In hindsight, it's one of the most foolish things I did after my son was born. Sometimes, I think, as a busy foreigner who is not used to the concept of forcing oneself to rest (I come from a place where people are constantly doing something--they simply don't take time to even just eat a meal slowly) a "forced" rest period is a type of discipline that I could benefit from.
I am convinced that if I had taken a month, as many Asian women do, stayed in my room, ate nourishing food and focused solely on bonding with my child, establishing breastfeeding and recovering my health and made no unnecessary trips around the city, I wouldn't have suffered the same health and recovery problems that I did for the following six months. So, the purpose of a confinement lady is to focus solely on the needs and health of the mother and baby. Domestic helpers are really great and could probably fulfill this role but there are other roles that they need to fill as well--especially if there are other children or members of the family in the house.
Actually, confinement, to me seems like a very deep way of honoring the mother for her hard work and sacrifice as well as recognizing that her body and mind have unique needs after childbirth. It would be nice to hire someone to wait on you hand and foot just for that short period of time. Historically, confinement was one of the only times that women (who often held a very low position in society) were truly looked after physically--where they were fed properly and allowed to rest.
Now, as a non-Asian person there are a lot of hierarchical things about hiring a confinement lady that would be very difficult for me to deal with--for example, the mother-in-law is the only one who can give orders to the confinement lady (traditionally)--not even the mother herself or the mother's mother have the right to correct or direct the confinement lady--she is fully overseen by the mother-in-law. Also, there are some foods and ceremonies/traditions that I would not personally want to partake in.
Having said that, wouldn't it be nice if I could have the best of both worlds--someone who is experienced in post-partum care for baby and mother but who doesn't come with a set of "duties" that she must perform (making you eat certain foods, insisting you handle your own baby in a certain way etc.). But, I can truly see the wisdom--even for non-Asian women--in confinement, however one goes about it. This time around I truly plan to practice my own version of this, whether or not we hire an "extra helper" to be a part of the process or not.
Good luck with finding a good person who can meet your needs!
