chanmanman
New member
Hi hi , my due day is Jund08, i am intensively prepare for the coming time, i am looking for good confinement lady, anyone can give me some advise? this is my first time....=>
Confinement lady recommendation?
- Thread starter chanmanman
- Start date
In Hong Kong, a confinement lady, also called pui yuet (which means "to accompany for a month") is a temporary domestic helper who specialises in taking care of the newborn baby and the recovering mother during the first month after birth.
My sister offered to help me with pui yuet duties but my friend has recommended one as well. It will cost between 9K and 10K (based on 26 days x 6 hrs/day x $60). My sister will not charge of course, but she has her own family to take care of, and I doubt she will hang out with me and my newborn for six hours every day...
My husband, who will support whatever decision I make, and being a foreigner, wants to know if a pui yuet is even necessary. After all, we've hired our first domestic helper (Filipino) and she will start around the time the baby comes. So, is a pui yuet a necessity or a luxury?
My sister offered to help me with pui yuet duties but my friend has recommended one as well. It will cost between 9K and 10K (based on 26 days x 6 hrs/day x $60). My sister will not charge of course, but she has her own family to take care of, and I doubt she will hang out with me and my newborn for six hours every day...
My husband, who will support whatever decision I make, and being a foreigner, wants to know if a pui yuet is even necessary. After all, we've hired our first domestic helper (Filipino) and she will start around the time the baby comes. So, is a pui yuet a necessity or a luxury?
hi,
If you have a live-in domestic helper, i don't see a need for a pui yuet.
I'm a first time mom, no relatives at all when i delivered here, you can survive with baby care, attend prenatal classes and read books and being a mom will come naturally.
My biggest concern is the food to eat, as i know i cannot cook those confinement food, depending on the helper is also out of the question. I plan to get a pui yuet too at that time but the cost is high and i don't know if i can trust her, aside from i need to spend for buying the ingredients.
What i did is get the service of this company who delivers confinement food, sorry, i cannot remember the name now. I found it here in geobaby, so just do a research on confinement and it will surely pop up. They did a great job, i have it delivered for one month, though at 3rd week it all taste the same. It costs around 8k if i'm not mistaken. You don't have to worry as they provide from breakfast to lunch to snack til dinner. highly recommended.
Good luck.
If you have a live-in domestic helper, i don't see a need for a pui yuet.
I'm a first time mom, no relatives at all when i delivered here, you can survive with baby care, attend prenatal classes and read books and being a mom will come naturally.
My biggest concern is the food to eat, as i know i cannot cook those confinement food, depending on the helper is also out of the question. I plan to get a pui yuet too at that time but the cost is high and i don't know if i can trust her, aside from i need to spend for buying the ingredients.
What i did is get the service of this company who delivers confinement food, sorry, i cannot remember the name now. I found it here in geobaby, so just do a research on confinement and it will surely pop up. They did a great job, i have it delivered for one month, though at 3rd week it all taste the same. It costs around 8k if i'm not mistaken. You don't have to worry as they provide from breakfast to lunch to snack til dinner. highly recommended.
Good luck.
Well, I met the pui yuet recommended by a classmate of mine who's now a nurse. We introduced each other and got to chat a while and she brought a printed list of things to get, i.e., confinement food ingredients and so on. Good thing she's available in the next ten days, when I'm due. What mattered the most was that we chatted so I got a good idea of whether or not I could trust her, and I had a good feeling about her. Plus, she lives just a few minutes away by foot. I'll post my experiences with her later...
hi,
I think whether one "needs" a confinement lady depends entirely on your expectations postnatally and on other factors such as whether you are breastfeeding exclusively, how efficient and experienced your domestic helper is, how particular you are about eating very traditional confinement food, how involved other members of the family are in assisting you (ie your hubby) etc.....if you are breastfeeding exclusively and feeding directly, babies in the early 1-2 months spend alot of time feeding for quite long periods of time (30-60 mins) and quite often (every 2-3 hours) so I am not too sure how busy you can keep a confinement lady, esp one that only is working 6-8 hours for you during the day! In terms of confinement food, there are alot of English cookbooks on confinement diet that the helper could read and cook meals from (that's how my helper started off doing this for her other employer and for me during my 2 confinements) so you don't necessarily need a confinement lady or a confinement food delivery service to eat well for the first month....I am sure the confinement food service is well run but $8k seems like quite alot of money to me! Also if your new helper is experienced particularly with newborns and you tend to be very hands-on, a confinement lady may not be necessary. I have heard from many friends who have employed local confinement ladies that they landed up having to fire them as they were not as competent or experienced as they made themselves out to be and gave more grief than help in that period of time so if you do decide to go that way, do have her checked out and ask very specific questions. Alot of friends complained that the confinement ladies wanted time off to keep popping out to run their own personal errands!
Good luck which ever way you decide!
I think whether one "needs" a confinement lady depends entirely on your expectations postnatally and on other factors such as whether you are breastfeeding exclusively, how efficient and experienced your domestic helper is, how particular you are about eating very traditional confinement food, how involved other members of the family are in assisting you (ie your hubby) etc.....if you are breastfeeding exclusively and feeding directly, babies in the early 1-2 months spend alot of time feeding for quite long periods of time (30-60 mins) and quite often (every 2-3 hours) so I am not too sure how busy you can keep a confinement lady, esp one that only is working 6-8 hours for you during the day! In terms of confinement food, there are alot of English cookbooks on confinement diet that the helper could read and cook meals from (that's how my helper started off doing this for her other employer and for me during my 2 confinements) so you don't necessarily need a confinement lady or a confinement food delivery service to eat well for the first month....I am sure the confinement food service is well run but $8k seems like quite alot of money to me! Also if your new helper is experienced particularly with newborns and you tend to be very hands-on, a confinement lady may not be necessary. I have heard from many friends who have employed local confinement ladies that they landed up having to fire them as they were not as competent or experienced as they made themselves out to be and gave more grief than help in that period of time so if you do decide to go that way, do have her checked out and ask very specific questions. Alot of friends complained that the confinement ladies wanted time off to keep popping out to run their own personal errands!
Good luck which ever way you decide!
Agree with sumei that 8k is expensive. But for my case, my helper is direct from Philippines, cannot follow cookbook nor familiar with chinese ingredients. I got her one month before i deliver, no more time to train her with cooking. (Though she is very good with babies) That's why i don't have any choice but go with the food delivery.
I also heard lots of negative things about hiring a pui yet. If you get one, should be recommended by a friend.
I also heard lots of negative things about hiring a pui yet. If you get one, should be recommended by a friend.
Thanks to Sumei and mamaS for their comments and feedback. In my case, the pui yuet is recommended by a nurse friend. I know that I have hired to work six hours a day, which is not a lot, but my husband and I are getting a full-time domestic helper around the time the baby comes, and we will instruct the helper to learn from the pui yuet during the time she's at our home. I have read other comments about pui yuets and I also wonder, what about night time help? It was certain that we would hire a domestic helper, but since her experience in HK is limited, my nurse friend recommended a pui yuet to help out.
Was curious so I quickly took a look at some confinement recipes...not surprisingly, there is nothing special about them other than the fact that it is healthy food which anyone can prepare. I agree with Sumei, if you're breastfeeding, I don't really understand how much help a confinement lady can provide. With my son, I was feeding pretty much every two to three hours for one hour at a time, so really there wasn't much time for anything else. And when he wasn't eating, he was sleeping.
I am due for delivery in late April and still looking for a pui yuet... if I have to survive without one, then I will order this prepacked tonic soups that my friend has recommended... go to this website for more info.. www.buyickfong.com. All we have to do is to buy the chicken and boil it together with the prepacked tonic ingredients. There are twenty-eight packs in total with 5 different functions to it.
My indon maid is totally hopeless when it comes to cooking so I guess her job is to look after my toddler girl whilst I care for the new born.
My indon maid is totally hopeless when it comes to cooking so I guess her job is to look after my toddler girl whilst I care for the new born.
I paid $18K per month not inclusive of lai-sees (red packets, demanded by the pui-yuet). It's for 6 days a week and she demands double pay for Sundays and public holidays which comes up to $1,400 a day. She charges $15K for 8 hours of work a day so, I thought I might as well hire her for full-time, 6 days a week deal.
Bad decision. Honestly, because it was my first baby, she had my husband and me running round in circles, pandering to her wishes while we were almost held hostage by her. I had depression as a result, which only lifted a couple of months after she left. We were all alone (no relatives in HK). But if I had to do it all over again, I'll just order food from terraform or similar or hire a cook. The pui-yuet quarreled with my helper and the atmosphere at home was unbearable. I have a new helper now (after several false starts) and everything is working out well. I agree with mothers who said that all you need is a good helper and someone who can cook those confinement dishes (or just order them).
Having said that, I know that there are very good and wonderful pui-yuets out there. I was just unlucky to get one who made my confinement hellish. I am better informed now!
Bad decision. Honestly, because it was my first baby, she had my husband and me running round in circles, pandering to her wishes while we were almost held hostage by her. I had depression as a result, which only lifted a couple of months after she left. We were all alone (no relatives in HK). But if I had to do it all over again, I'll just order food from terraform or similar or hire a cook. The pui-yuet quarreled with my helper and the atmosphere at home was unbearable. I have a new helper now (after several false starts) and everything is working out well. I agree with mothers who said that all you need is a good helper and someone who can cook those confinement dishes (or just order them).
Having said that, I know that there are very good and wonderful pui-yuets out there. I was just unlucky to get one who made my confinement hellish. I am better informed now!
Konradsmom
Registered User
I recruited my confinement lady from the Methodist Centre who arrange these contracts for these confinement ladies who are trained through govt funds. They are under a stricted code of conduct and therefore my experience is that they do not demand lai-see's or anything. they shopped for food for me, and had everything clearly accounted for each time they shop - receipts and all.
My personal experience is that a confinement layd can assess your personal health situation and recommend the right foods at the right times - I have tonnes of books on confinement food but what they didn't tell you was when and why you can eat some of them and not others - there is a lot of wisdom in the recovery process, and I think this is where the confinement lady comes in. My helper also helped cook, but from the menu itself there was a lot of info lacking.
the confiment lady cooked my lunch and dinner ( for my husband as well), and a snack time soup for me when I was breastfeeding, and so she was very busy all day long - I was there to see her running around and not a slack moment...
I have to say that referrals are quite important though.
My personal experience is that a confinement layd can assess your personal health situation and recommend the right foods at the right times - I have tonnes of books on confinement food but what they didn't tell you was when and why you can eat some of them and not others - there is a lot of wisdom in the recovery process, and I think this is where the confinement lady comes in. My helper also helped cook, but from the menu itself there was a lot of info lacking.
the confiment lady cooked my lunch and dinner ( for my husband as well), and a snack time soup for me when I was breastfeeding, and so she was very busy all day long - I was there to see her running around and not a slack moment...
I have to say that referrals are quite important though.
You should hire through Pui Yuet agencies. This way, if you are not pleased with her services, you can always ask for a replacement. I had one for my first, and she drove me nuts. Because nothing was really written in black and white, I was stuck with her for 2 months!!!
I agree with Konradsmom that referrals are most important. A good one will really make a difference in your postpartum recovery.
I hired one on the recommendation of a coworker and my pui yuet is really wonderful. Even though I am breastfeeding, she has proved most helpful in so many different ways. She is an excellent cook and will not only prepare food for me and my husband but also for our helper - AND she doesn't mind teaching my helper how to cook as well. (They do get along well - partly b/c my helper is quite easygoing but she is also a very thoughtful and nice person.) She also helps me to do the daily bathing and to quiet down the baby to give me more time to rest between nursing periods.
I'm happy to recommend her to others if anyone is looking for a good pui yuet. (She is pretty popular though so even though I tried to book her for my cousin who is expecting this October, she already signed with someone else.)
Also my pui yuet came through the Women's Labour Org so she is not as expensive as the one Sage hired. I only hired her for 5 days per week (9 am to 4 pm) for around HK$8000 a month. Plus another HK$1300 a week to cover for the food shopping for the 5 days she comes to cook for us (lunch and dinner).
She didn't ask for end-of-contract laisee money although she is so good we would like to give it to her - but we are not sure how much is a decent sum. Would HK$1000 be enough?
I hired one on the recommendation of a coworker and my pui yuet is really wonderful. Even though I am breastfeeding, she has proved most helpful in so many different ways. She is an excellent cook and will not only prepare food for me and my husband but also for our helper - AND she doesn't mind teaching my helper how to cook as well. (They do get along well - partly b/c my helper is quite easygoing but she is also a very thoughtful and nice person.) She also helps me to do the daily bathing and to quiet down the baby to give me more time to rest between nursing periods.
I'm happy to recommend her to others if anyone is looking for a good pui yuet. (She is pretty popular though so even though I tried to book her for my cousin who is expecting this October, she already signed with someone else.)
Also my pui yuet came through the Women's Labour Org so she is not as expensive as the one Sage hired. I only hired her for 5 days per week (9 am to 4 pm) for around HK$8000 a month. Plus another HK$1300 a week to cover for the food shopping for the 5 days she comes to cook for us (lunch and dinner).
She didn't ask for end-of-contract laisee money although she is so good we would like to give it to her - but we are not sure how much is a decent sum. Would HK$1000 be enough?
Like many of you, I was very sceptical about the need for a pui-yuet before giving birth. I am quite a fussy eater and cannot stand food that is remotely "strange-tasting", so Chinese herbs are completely out of the question.
However, my experience with my pui yuet is extremely positive, and she has completely changed my mind about the importance of pui yuets. She made sure I had time to rest in between feeds (I was breast-feeding though not exclusively) and cooked various nutritious soups for me during the first month. My health has improved significantly from my pre-natal days, and there's absolutely no regrets about hiring her, except that I think I put on quite a bit of weight from being fed so well.
I had the pui yuet staying over for the first two weeks and then coming only during the day for 8 hours for the second two weeks. I thought that worked out very well as it allowed my helper to ease into looking after the baby. The pui yuet also helped train the helper (and me!) to look after the baby. I am sure without one, you can learn quickly how to change nappy or bath the baby, but with a pui yuet around, I felt assured that there was someone to fall-back on which is very important to me as a first-time mom.
Having said all of this, I know many pui yuets nowadays are very inexperienced and can be very stubborn in their ways. I have heard countless horror stories about them, and I think I was just lucky to find a good one.
If you are thinking of hiring one, be absolutely sure that she has a good reference preferably from someone you know and trust. Otherwise, they can be a real burden at what is already a very stressful time.
Good luck with your search.
However, my experience with my pui yuet is extremely positive, and she has completely changed my mind about the importance of pui yuets. She made sure I had time to rest in between feeds (I was breast-feeding though not exclusively) and cooked various nutritious soups for me during the first month. My health has improved significantly from my pre-natal days, and there's absolutely no regrets about hiring her, except that I think I put on quite a bit of weight from being fed so well.
I had the pui yuet staying over for the first two weeks and then coming only during the day for 8 hours for the second two weeks. I thought that worked out very well as it allowed my helper to ease into looking after the baby. The pui yuet also helped train the helper (and me!) to look after the baby. I am sure without one, you can learn quickly how to change nappy or bath the baby, but with a pui yuet around, I felt assured that there was someone to fall-back on which is very important to me as a first-time mom.
Having said all of this, I know many pui yuets nowadays are very inexperienced and can be very stubborn in their ways. I have heard countless horror stories about them, and I think I was just lucky to find a good one.
If you are thinking of hiring one, be absolutely sure that she has a good reference preferably from someone you know and trust. Otherwise, they can be a real burden at what is already a very stressful time.
Good luck with your search.
middlelane
Registered User
Hi, maybe it's a bit late, any good confinement lady recommendation? My due day will be in one week from now. Help...
Hi middlelane, you can consider calling this lady (Kuan 'che' - kuan 'sister' in cantonese) @ 68451631.
She came recommended to us, but we ended the contract after 2 weeks. My husband and I are very hands-on and had our ways of taking care of the baby, so the confinement lady ended up having nothing to do except cook us lunch and dinner, which in my mind, was nothing special. It's just healthier (and always with ginger) which my helper who is a very good cook, can do equally well.
More importantly, we weren't raised the local ways, so we didn't follow the confinement rules. I drank cold water, I wore tank tops and shorts (good grief, I couldn't be all covered up in summer!), I had AC switched on etc etc ... I did all the things that I was not supposed to do!!! I didn't like to eat ginger too.
So like the other posters mention above, unless you really believe in the necessity of the traditional confinement or if you need someone to help you look after the baby or do night feeds, otherwise, you probably will not need one
Cost: HKD24,000 for 24 hr per day, 6 days a week. HKD12,000 for 9am - 5 pm.
She came recommended to us, but we ended the contract after 2 weeks. My husband and I are very hands-on and had our ways of taking care of the baby, so the confinement lady ended up having nothing to do except cook us lunch and dinner, which in my mind, was nothing special. It's just healthier (and always with ginger) which my helper who is a very good cook, can do equally well.
More importantly, we weren't raised the local ways, so we didn't follow the confinement rules. I drank cold water, I wore tank tops and shorts (good grief, I couldn't be all covered up in summer!), I had AC switched on etc etc ... I did all the things that I was not supposed to do!!! I didn't like to eat ginger too.
So like the other posters mention above, unless you really believe in the necessity of the traditional confinement or if you need someone to help you look after the baby or do night feeds, otherwise, you probably will not need one
Cost: HKD24,000 for 24 hr per day, 6 days a week. HKD12,000 for 9am - 5 pm.
middlelane
Registered User
Hi, Obiwan, Thank you so much for the quick reply and detail information. My situation is my full time helper won't be ready until one month later after delivery, therefore a confinement lady sames a choice for me. However if the confinement lady doesn't do other house hold work, I still need to hire part time helper as well. Plus my husband would like very much to take care the baby byself (will breastfeeding), so what the confinement lady can do except the cooking?
Anyway I may call her to talk about.
Thank you for sharing all this again.
Anyway I may call her to talk about.
Thank you for sharing all this again.
If I am not wrong, confinement ladies do not do housework. Their responsibilities include looking after the baby and cooking/looking after the mom
You can also consider getting a part-time helper to clean the house, and arrange for confinement food to be delivered to you. It really depends on how reliant you are on the confinement lady. We were very hands-on with the baby, so we figured it would be too pricey to pay HKD22k for her full-time (confinement lady typically does night feeds so the mom can rest, but we prefer to do night feeds ourselves), or even HKD12k just for her to cook for us.
I also have friends who had relatively stress free first couple of weeks as the confinement lady took care of their babies and the mommies have time to sleep.
I think some other members here may have cheaper options to recommend to you. Good luck
You can also consider getting a part-time helper to clean the house, and arrange for confinement food to be delivered to you. It really depends on how reliant you are on the confinement lady. We were very hands-on with the baby, so we figured it would be too pricey to pay HKD22k for her full-time (confinement lady typically does night feeds so the mom can rest, but we prefer to do night feeds ourselves), or even HKD12k just for her to cook for us.
I also have friends who had relatively stress free first couple of weeks as the confinement lady took care of their babies and the mommies have time to sleep.
I think some other members here may have cheaper options to recommend to you. Good luck