Comfort Suckling?

H

hannah.e.law

Registered User
My 19 day old son has started having a hard time resettling after his 2am feed. The only thing that seems to settle him is sucking some more, even though I know he shouldn't be hungry. Instead of his usual vigorous suck he'll just suck mostly with his lips and without swallowing. He'll suckle, settle, and then wake as soon as I put him down. At first I thought it was gas or such that was bothering him, but last night it was 3 hours and tonight we're going on 4 hours.

My routine is to change him when he first wakes, feed and burp as many times as he needs until he stops searching for my nipple after burping, and then I'll settle him down in his crib. If he's still fussy I'll burp and rock him a bit, maybe change his diaper if he seems really uncomfortable. For the most part this works, but the 2am feed is really hard for him for some reason.

Could it be that he just needs that comfort suckling (but for over an hour or more!)? Or is there something else I'm missing? I'm not keen on introducing a pacifier, but my nipples never get a chance to recover and are becoming tender (after they finally got used to BF!) Any suggestions?
 
Why are you not keen on pacifiers? We love them in our house! Babies definitely need to suckle for comfort and it's a good way to stop them doing it on you! Friends who didn't allow the pacifier now wish they did. One sucks their thumb and one literally sucks a bottle all night long, and she's 4...

Pacifiers don't ruin teeth like thumbs do. Ifyou decide to try it my tip is to take it out of their mouth when they are asleep so they don't need it all the time and wake up when it slips out. We've never had any problems.
 
My son wasn`t a suckler when he was a newborn, though he was a mighty sucker in the early days. I was never sure about how much milk he was getting. How do you know he shouldn`t be hungry?
My routine was when he woke, I would feed him one side and then change him to rouse him a bit and to give his digestion a few moments to settle and then I would offer him the second one.
If he`s really just after suckling and it`s keeping him awake (at 19 days I`m surprised), then you might want to think about a pacifier. I wasn`t keen on introducing one to mine, and didn`t until later and it was rejected. But like I said, mine wasn`t a suckler until much later when he found his hands - now he`s very happy. I`m sure your little one is still quite strong with his sucking of your nipples so I can understand why you don`t want him sucking on them. I would reconsider a pacifier, especially if it means more sleep for you and comfort for him.
 
Mostly I guess I'm not keen on them because at least if he's sucking on my nipples, he might be getting milk if he wants it. I'm pretty sure he's getting enough milk because I have plenty and he "empties" at least one side if not both at every feed. He has plenty of wet diapers and is gaining lots of weight too.

Also I don't want to introduce a pacifier too early, (I'd heard 6 weeks was the earliest you should think about introducing one) because of the long term implications of forming habits and so on. He found his hands and his thumbs quite early on, (like day 1) but this past week he seems to have lost interest in them. Not sure why, and this may be what's leading him towards the comfort suckling.

One thing I am concerned about is that he seems to really be straining to poop. Could this lead to him being uncomfortable at night? I know BF babies don't get constipated, but he really works hard at it!
 
I am with aussiegal - I see nothing wrong with the pacifier (or dummy as I say). I suspect the nurses use them in the hospital (and I mean that in a nice way, nothing sinister).

I would like to add that maybe bub has reflux? DD had it and was very unsettled until she went on meds (not that she was that settled after that but feeding and sleeping did improve). I would feed, put her to bed and she would sleep for one cycle and want to feed again to re-settle so I did. Once we had her diagnosed with reflux I would feed (and she would fall asleep during feed) but keep her elevated for 10 minutes before putting her in bed (plus having her bed elevated like they do in hospital). The 'dreamfeed' thing didn't exist for me as I was always up for 45 minutes+ but it made for a happier baby.
 
my girl was a HUGE comfort sucker... after our first night at home with no let up from her, i sent hubby out for a pacifier. she used them a LOT for the next two years. when she got to about 20 months, she decided that she didn't want them anymore. she has refused them ever since.

i strongly suggest you try it, if only to give yourself a break. i know you're doing this on your own and with everything else going on, you don't need to be sweating the small stuff.

i know if i hadn't introduced it with my daughter, i would not have slept at all for the first 2 years almost.

i would also check out the possiblilty of reflux.
 
My son was also a big comfort sucker. I sent my husband out to buy a dummy when he was 3 weeks old as my nipples were just soooo sore.....
 
I had exactly the same problem with my son in the early days but it was after the middle of the night feed onward til morning around 4am - 7am. Very unsettled, fussy, gassy and wanting to suck.

First thing I did was totally rule out hunger by giving him a bottle of EBM at the middle of the night feed (did this at 3 weeks and had no nipple confusion). Still had the same problem.

We introduced a dummy but it didn't make a huge amount of difference, he was still very unsettled.

Like Ozekid, we decided it was probably reflux because of the straining noise, being always at the same time of the night, bringing his knees up and the desire to constantly suck (sucking gives them comfort/relief from the acid rising). We elevated his head in bed more and after all feeds and began medication (went for takepron as the zantac was too gross tasting).

Things improved slowly and now he's 3 months he settles much better in the night and we've stopped the reflux medication. We've kept his head elevated though (he's in a hammock so this is easy to do) and the dummy is still there.
 
Your baby could be having a growth spurt - they are very common around the three week mark. When a baby is having a growth spurt they often want to feed more than usual. This could be feeding longer at each feed or having a cluster of feeding at one point in the day (or night).

I often think of cluster feeding like a Chinese banquet - eat for 10 minutes, stop for 10 minutes, eat for 10 minutes, stop for 10 minutes, on and on. It is very common for babies to want this Chinese banquet at 3:00 am to 6:00 am!

The way I found was easier to cope was to feed the baby in a reclined position. See http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/pdfs/Poster for web site-locked.pdf
This way you can get rest while you are feeding the baby even if you can't get sleep. But remember that you will need to nap during the day when your baby does goes down for a longer sleep.

Don't worry about forming "bad" habits as your baby is still very small - when the growth spurt is over and he is easier to settle you can get him sleep in the crib again.

Best wishes,
SARAH
 
I've done some more reading on reflux, and it sounds like this could be his problem. On top of the comfort suckling, he does the straining and bringing his knees up like LeahH described. Also some of the reflux websites I was reading up on mentioned frequent hiccups as a symptom and he gets hiccups ALL the time, not just after feeding. Another symptom that he has is arching his back and neck during feeding (which really tears at my nipples if he's still latched on!!!).

So tonight I'm going to try keeping him elevated for 30 minutes after feeding before putting him down, as well as elevating his head in his cot (with a pillow under the mattress), and I will try a pacifier too if I need to. (I'm really not anti-pacifier, just anti-habit formation.)

Luckily, I know nipple confusion isn't an issue as I've been having my husband (when he comes around) feed him EBM as a bonding thing since he was four days old and he's had no problem with the nipples. Really I think he'll suck on just about anything!
 
I have a pamphlet called Breastfeeding the Baby with Reflux.

I would be happy to post it to you if you'd like to PM me your address.

Best wishes,
SARAH
 
i wish you luck! let me know when/if you're ready for a lunch out! i'm off until at least thursday next week...
 
So after observing him have the same sleep pattern again last night, I think he does have reflux, but also could be cluster feeding. Raising his cot on one end and making sure he was well burped, etc did make him a lot less fussy. I also tried the pacifier, and he would suck it for a while but spit it out after 5 minutes, so not sure if it helped or not.

He still wanted to nurse every 30 minutes for 10 minutes or so, so he may be on that 2-7am cluster feed as well. If anything, it was a calmer night, even if it wasn't any shorter.
 
My son is 23 days old and also like to suck. We introduced dummy probably around the 3 day he is home and I have been feeling a bit uncertain if I've done the right thing since I am trying to breastfeed and also know about the 6 weeks recommendation for dummy.

Due to my breast milk supple, we've been feed him one meal formula and one meal pump breast milk in a bottle ( he is inpatient with my slow let-down when he is hungry. ) IN between, If he wants to suck, I will give him my breast and He then seems to like sucking. Other times, when I am too tried to do it, my helper or husband gives him a pacifier. He seems really like it.

Usually, in a day, he has about two unsettled feeds that would last about four hours and then he is ready for the next feed. But after all the hours of tiring "struggle", we then all fall asleep.
 
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