Calling for nursing mommies who are against CIO

My husband wants to sleep with us as well (But we find it highly unsafe to sandwich her between us), but does not want our daughter to be put away in a cot or separate bed. He wants her to sleep with me. On weekends they both nap together :)
 
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The one thing that I say to people who love to give me "advice" about co-sleeping and breast feeding... and basically anything that doesn't concern them :)

It's not a problem for us, so please don't make it a problem for you.

My husband and I both LOVE co-sleeping with our little girl. It took a while for us to learn how to make it work, but I was EBF and she nursed every 3-4 hours in the night those first few weeks...so we figured it out.

When she was teeny, she slept beside me with a bedrail (baby-me-daddy) so she didn't fall out, but now that she is bigger (nearly 1! where did that year go?) she does sleep between us. Hubs is so used to her being there that my previously thrashing guy hardly moves at night. We frequently discuss how much we would miss her cute morning wake ups and cuddles and those middle of the night moments. If it's an issue that comes between you and your husband, you need to discuss it with him, of course, but otherwise, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if they should keep it to themselves a bit more, and you need to just do what works for you and your family.
 
We co-sleep.

It was actually my husband's idea; he co-slept with his parents until he was SIX, althouh he wasn't breastfed. I used to think babies ought to go to sleep by themselves, in their own room and learn to self soothe and be independent etc etc. I was totally against co-sleeping. It seemed weird and dangerous to me.

Then our baby was born. He started off sleeping next to us in a snuggle nest in a moses basket. I'm a working mother and I found nightime feeds easier if I brought Bubba into bed with us. When he was really little I used to put the snuggle nest into our bed. Now he's 8 months old and we are still co-sleeping.

When I hear opposing voices (not in my head!), I worry that I'm doing the right thing. I did research both for and against co-sleeping and I find this website to be useful. It reminds me why I believe in what I'm doing and that I should trust my instinct as a mother. Welcome to Attachment Parenting International
This is our way, it might not be the best way for everybody but it's the best way for us. It works for our family.

As for my husband? Well he since I've known him he's always fallen asleep by himself just fine. He can sleep ANYWHERE, without the aid of a pacifier, a blankie or a breast. And for those that wonder when do parents who co-sleep get to have their alone time; where there's a will there's a way and it's not a problem. :haha:
 
Sorry, I read the 10 reasons and most of them are either defending co-sleeping, not giving reasons, or else they are making it seem like your child is in danger if they DON`T co-sleep.
I`m neither for nor against it, but I think there are a lot better reasons than `protecting your baby against sexual abuse` or to help it breathe again if it stops.
My baby sleeps in the same room with us, but not the same bed. Though with our tiny room and thus tiny bed, it would be next to impossible. I envy the parents with roomy beds enough to co-sleep with their baby:)
 
Our baby was pretty much in his cot in his own room from day one (although his room was adjoining our room). We generally don't have him in our bed because he is such as noisy little wriggler that we can't sleep and we both work (so undisturbed sleep is really important to us). Recently we went on holiday and I specifically booked a room with a king sized bed. We all slept together in the big bed every night and loved it. I had a nap every afternoon to catch up on the sleep I missed the night before. Bliss!
 
A BIG thank you to everyone for your encouragement and support.

I DO LOVE cosleeping, and frankly i'm not having any problems in that. I'd love to cosleep with her for as long as SHE wants to, as i read, this is just a small part of their life. The part that gets to me is the "sleeping without the breast" part.

Freddiebiscuit
Yes, my gal still wakes up several times a night. Minimum around 1-2times a night. If i'm VERY VERY lucky, she'd sleep thru till about 6ish in the morning. That has only happened 3-4 times since she was born till now.

Katelynbb
When u weaned ur bb at 12 mths, and u said she took it well during bedtimes, she didnt cry at all? My gal knows its bedtime, when i asked if she wants to sleep, she'll nod her head happily, but when not offered the breast, she'll scream bloody murder. LOUDLY. Since birth, she's a loud baby, she'll expressed her unhappiness by crying violently and loudly. It's hard to hush and calm her down (except to give in and give the breast) when she's all wriggling and crying. No amount of hugs or cuddles can pacify her. We tried that. I tried the CIO, well not exactly CIO cos i was right next to her on our bed, twice. Both times, i didnt give in becos she was already crying so bad and i didnt want her to think that as long as she cried so hard and loud, next time Mommy is gonna give in, so i had to persevere and held her in my arms and she cried (pitifully, along with me as well) for about 10-15mins, before going to sleep. Both times were becos she was nibbling at my breast so much it started feeling sore as i was having my AF. But the last time it happened, i cried so badly listening to her crying that i swore i'm never gonna let her cry like this anymore.

Which is why i'm wondering if babies do learn to just *snap fingers* sleep on their own like that ONE DAY without any training from the mommies. Without cryings, nothing. DO THEY??? After so many months of sleeping with a nipple in the mouth, do they REALLY just one day, MIRACULOUSLY do not NEED the breast to sleep anymore?
 
And yes, i'm also thinking and planning to have a #2, cannot imagine how i'm going to cope "logistically" if i still need to nurse #1 AND #2 at the same time. The mere thought of it is scaring me!

I would love to (and dont mind at all) continue nursing my gal until she weans (or at least when she's 2yrs old) during the daytime, it's the night wakenings that's bothering me.
 
you will most likely have to wean #1 before #2 comes along.... at least that would be what I would assume, maybe there is someone out there that can clarify this, have they ever BF two babies differing in age? (ie. not twins)
 
gentlemom said:
A BIG thank you to everyone for your encouragement and support.


Katelynbb
When u weaned ur bb at 12 mths, and u said she took it well during bedtimes, she didnt cry at all? My gal knows its bedtime, when i asked if she wants to sleep, she'll nod her head happily, but when not offered the breast, she'll scream bloody murder. LOUDLY. Since birth, she's a loud baby, she'll expressed her unhappiness by crying violently and loudly. It's hard to hush and calm her down (except to give in and give the breast) when she's all wriggling and crying. No amount of hugs or cuddles can pacify her. We tried that. I tried the CIO, well not exactly CIO cos i was right next to her on our bed, twice. Both times, i didnt give in becos she was already crying so bad and i didnt want her to think that as long as she cried so hard and loud, next time Mommy is gonna give in, so i had to persevere and held her in my arms and she cried (pitifully, along with me as well) for about 10-15mins, before going to sleep. Both times were becos she was nibbling at my breast so much it started feeling sore as i was having my AF. But the last time it happened, i cried so badly listening to her crying that i swore i'm never gonna let her cry like this anymore.

Which is why i'm wondering if babies do learn to just *snap fingers* sleep on their own like that ONE DAY without any training from the mommies. Without cryings, nothing. DO THEY??? After so many months of sleeping with a nipple in the mouth, do they REALLY just one day, MIRACULOUSLY do not NEED the breast to sleep anymore?
Click to expand...

Hi gentlemom,
My daughter really did just fall asleep. I was SO surprised. But she was also a very calm and laid back baby. She would never cry for food or cry if she didn't get it in time. The only time I had problems with sleeping was during her daytime naps, but she made it up by being a terrific night time sleeper and sleeping 12 hrs. I never really trained her, I thought I was going to have to, but it just worked out. I did give her milk to substitute the breastmilk after I weaned, maybe that made her really sleepy. (sorry don't really have an answer on how I was able to do it) It just worked out for us.
With my second daughter, I can kind of tell with her personality that she would be a bit harder to wean off the breast and sleeping on her own. So I'm probably going to have to ask you later on what to do. =)
 
though you can breastfeed a toddler and a newborn at the same time, around the time you are around 25 weeks pregnant, the milk taste changes and a lot of toddlers just finish up. Also during the time you are pregnant, if you didn't want to feed both, you could prepare toddler with letting them know that baby was coming and big girl will stop having drinks soon.

We had 2 years between the kids but eldest had self-weaned VERY early by herself at 15 months so it didn't end up being an issue...

And yes, we really had no problem after that first week of getting used to the big bed...so proud..but so missed cosleeping for the longest time...but you have to let them advance through their stages of age don't you...lucky for us that each age is just a miracle to watch and enjoy...
 
My friend "tandem breastfed" and did the co-sleeping and everything. She had about 18 months between #1 and #2, and breastfed #1 all through the pregnancy and actually until he was just over 2, at which time he self-weaned when she was pregnant with #3!! #1 currently sleeps half the night in his own room, and then he comes and joins mum and dad, and #2 in the family bed. The third baby will be born in July and I don't know what they will do then - maybe have 5 in the bed? *shrugs*

I don't see anything wrong with co-sleeping, or with crying it out. I think whatever works for your family. For me, I know I neeeeed my sleep - I get migraines when I'm stressed or overtired, so I wanted to do whatever would give me the most sleep. We bought one of those cosleeper beds where the baby goes between the pillows, but there are walls protecting them - and we used that for the first month, until the baby was sleeping for about 5-6 hours straight at night. Then she was in her own room. I always tried to put her down awake (unless she crashed during her last feed of the day) and let her "play" herself to sleep - and she is a good sleeper. Now (6 months old), she sleeps 10 hours straight at night, and sometimes will feed and go back to sleep for another 2-3 hours! But I know that this is HER "personality" and not all babies are like that. And I know that her being a good sleeper is 99% just that she is like that, it has nothing - or VERY little - to do with my "mothering skills".
 
thanks for the info... i have never met anyone that BF two children of different ages before. interesting to know that it can be done and that some people do it
 
My little one has been waking quite often at night - perhaps 6 or 7 times on some nights. She just rolls around, gets stuck on the pillows and starts to cry because she can't roll any further. I wake up, put her next to me, put her on the breast and she usually falls back to sleep again. I'm not sure why she's waking - sometimes I think it may be because I move to get more comfortable and wake her up. She wakes up for the day at 7 am and is happy and seems well rested. I cannot say the same for me on some days - not well rested.

She seems quite addicted to the breast and its comfort and I sometimes wonder if she will ever wean herself! I don't mind tandem breast feeding when the next baby arrives, but I do hope my girl will be sleeping better at night before then.

I'd like to keep co-sleeping, but also realize the time will come when she'll want/need to go into her own bed in her own room. How do you know when the time is right to make the transition?
 
if you are not happy with the situation, have you tried a pacifier? my daughter so needed the comfort that we started her with a pacifier and she used it for almost 2 years. then one day, she said, "no more" and she hasn't used it since.

she was so comforted by it that if we ever forgot it when we went out, we had to buy another one!
 
We introduced a pacifier to her when she was around 5 months old and she treated it like a toy! She'd hold the nipple and put the other end in her mouth! She took no comfort from it at all...

It's not that I'm unhappy with the situation. I just worry that I am pressing cosleeping on her because of my need to have her close when maybe sleeping in her own room might help her to sleep better. I also worry about the arrival of our second baby. I will be in the hospital and someone else will need to put our daughter to bed. Right now, she only goes to sleep on the boob...
 
you might find that with someone else putting her to bed, she understands that she won't be getting boob...my eldest was like whenever hubby put her to bed, she just knew that he wasn't going to be able to do it! lol

also when we brought the new bubs home, we had a chat with the eldest and said that she needed to stay in her big girls bed now so that the baby didn't wake her up and be noisy. that was enough for her not to want to come in til later in the morning.
 
my boy will be 3 in August. Up to now, we are still co-sleeping. Recently I try to make him sleep in his own room which is right next to ours, and we keep both doors opened at night. Most of the time, he will sneak into our bed if he wakes up in the middle of the night. and we will simply let him.

We enjoy co-sleeping very much unless daddy is really tired that day (but he can always sleep in my boy's bed as it is an adult's bed anyway). I mean, this is the only short period of time in his life that he can get soooo close to me, let me cuddle him, let me touch his little chubby butt, etc. Maybe few years later, or maybe even a yr or two, he will claim himself as a real big boy, and won't let me kiss him in front of his classmates, and things will just get worse (like he prefers to go out with his friends than with me,), and even co-dine with him can be difficult, no need to mention co-sleep, so CHERISH the moment, enjoy the moment as much as we can!!
 
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