bub cries his eyes out...

A

Aava.Wong

Registered User
my bub doesn't make a fuss when at home or at the playgrounds - he doesn't even cry for anything!! he is just a happy smiley bub BUT when i take him to my friends' flats, he cries from the moment we enter the flat till we leave. i cuddle and sing to soothe him down but he won't stop crying.

yesterday, it happened again and my friend was telling me to take him out more often which i do but she told me to take him to friends' places more often and not just the malls or the playgrounds. this has happened a few times already and it's a bit frustrating and also embarassing, to be honest.

does anyone have/had this problem? if yes then how did you change your bub's behaviour?
 
When my son was younger, he was more sensitive. At the first few playdates I made for him he cried really easily. I was also a little embarrassed:)
I took him out more and more, made more playdates for him, he had more increased interaction with other people, and now he is really sociable and loves people(unless he`s tired or something).
How old is your baby now?
If he is not used to people, then they might frighten him. I agree with your friend that you should continue to take him to friend`s places as well as where you usually take him.
One thing I started doing was to prepare him for what was going to happen. For example, if we were going to visit a friend`s home, I would tell him in the morning, and then several more times before we left. Then I would remind him on the way (younger babies need more reminding) so that when we showed up, he wasn`t all shocked and upset. Try that with your baby. I really noticed a difference.
 
Aava, next time you come to Kowloon West, you are welcome to come to my place. I welcome all crying babies :) Hopefully with more outings your baby will get used to being around strangers.
 
@shenzhennifer - he's just over 9 months old and i do talk to him about visiting someone from the moment i dress him up till we get to a friend's flat. he's ok as long as he's under an open sky! i was baby-led and he made his own schedule of napping and eating/drinking and somtimes, if his schedule is disturbed, he isn't a happy bunny! i hope to take him to playgroups from now on but i fear that he will cry and cry and cry and cry.....!

@obiwan - so sweet of you, thanks for the invite! :)

the most worrying part is that his birthday party is coming up and there will be about 100 people attending. imagine him among a 100 people with his crying situation!! i need a solution asap.
 
What if you give him something that he likes to eat or play with while he is at a friend's flat? Distract him with a favourite toy or snack.

I'm not so sure you can control how he reacts at his b'day party. At our son's first birthday party recently, he didn't smile much because I don't think he liked the fact that there was a crowd of people there all oohing and aahing at him -- and there was only around 35 people there!
 
Hi Aava-
No need to worry- my daughter was also a super-sensitive baby who cried at almost all playdates in the beginning months. I think it was a combination of all the people, commotion, and just beginning tired. I stopped taking her to playdates that were far from home and limited my time there to an hour max. I would leave as soon as I could tell she was getting grizzly. Over time she grew out of it. It caused me alot of angst in the beginning and I was worried she was anti-social, but now she's a friendly 2 yr old who loves people. So don't worry too much and don't push anything on your child he doesn't like.
 
@futurehkmom - i did take his fav doggy with us and i took him to my friend's bedroom to calm him down. he played happily till my friend checked to see if he was ok and the crying restarted! :((

@babycakes - thanks for your input. i do think that as he grows older and starts talking and walking, he will have a better sense of these things but the current problem is making me avoid friends' invites and playgroups. i can tell that he loves the attention but not "inside" someone else's flat.
 
Aava.wong - that`s about the same age my son was a bit of a crybaby too. But it was only to the other babies, not to their parents. I think Babycakes` ideas of limiting the time, place and length of the social outings can really help him adjust to the social world litle by little. Playgroups are a good idea too, especially if you can find one that will fit in nicely with his schedule and that is not too far from your home.
100 ppl at his 1st birthday?? wow! that is quite a party. Hmm, he might cry, yes... It reminds me of when I took my baby to Canada and we had a party (30-40ppl) so everyone could meet him and my husband. My son cried almost the whole time...and almost the whole trip for that matter:)
Don`t worry though, you have 3 months to socialise your little one. That`s a long time in babyworld.
 
aww it must have been heart-breaking to see your bub cry the whole time. i just feel helpless when he does that in peoples' flats. i don't think i'll be getting anymore friendly invites!!

time to get my act together and search for a playgroup near us then. thanks for the suggestion!

i've to admit that the party is more for ME than him. :tongue:
 
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