Breastfeeding Questions

If you are thinking of having someone to visit you at home I recommend Yvonne Heavyside, 2530-1905, 9887-3235. She is not only a lactation consultant but also a health visitor and so gives general support for new mothers as well as breastfeeding support.

She will be able to give you advice on all aspects of child care. She is also a great help for mothers with postnatal depression. She is a mother as well which I always thinks helps.
 
I went through the same thing as Matty did. Spent tons on lactation consultant, etc. etc. etc. I was very determined to breastfeed my bub because my husband has asthma and eczema. Anyway, to cut a long story short, my bub was 'diagnosed' as an inefficient nurser and if she were born in those days without formula, pumps or bottles, I would have lost her (I was told). Her weight dropped almost 15% from birth (even after putting her on the breast AND topping her up with expressed milk from the other breast) so much that the midwife and lactation consultant got really worried. I was very severely told off by her paed. (I didn't get to meet his deadline to get my baby back on track - she just kept losing weight). I cried and cried that day. Plus, it was really scary because she looked so much tinier and scrawnier than the time she was born.
Anyway, in the end, I had to express... and waited for her to finally learn how to latch on. It was really tough in the first three months and all I can say is, I didn't even have time for a proper bath let alone time to boot up the computer and post messages!
My point is, don't fret and worry about not having a life and the baby is being too dependent on you. If you choose to breastfeed, I'd say the first two months are dedicated totally to your baby. Things will get better once she develops her own routine. And if she doesn't, you can opt to pump the dream feed after a couple of months so that daddy can feed her with a bottle and spend some bonding time with her too. But before I get flamed for suggesting you introduce a bottle, please know that all I'm saying is - explore all your options. Don't despair and remember that you don't need to do everything by the book. TRUST, TRUST, TRUST your instinct. Your baby needs a happy and healthy mommy first. Everything else comes second.
 
yes, i know i was lucky...
my sister-in-law had the same type of problems with her first. to the point that she didn't even want to try bf the second time round.

i apologise if i offended anyone by my remarks.

ps sage> i agree completely with everything you said.
 
skittles
i dont think it's thrush cos her tongue's white spots were not sores and no other symptoms. I just went for the PD checkup and she didnt say anything (assuming she was checked thoroughly). The white thingy was hard, very much like a tooth! But its growing outside instead of inside. I seriously dunno wat it is!

Sage
*hugz* thanks for sharing.

barbwong
thanks for the recommendation.

Clowe
Apologies if my posting is abit confusing at times, sometimes when i re-read what i typed, i find that i was repeating myself as well. I'm fretting not much on my gal's latching...i am lucky that she has no problem latching on....it's ME i'm worried as i can never tell when she wants to feed! I know i shudnt be worried, as she's putting on weight nicely, etc etc...but the ONE thing i'm constantly worried about and wish i can do better is reading her cue for hunger. When she was younger, in her early weeks, i can at least rely on her rooting reflex...now that she's older, she has lost some of the rooting signs, and since finding her hands and sucking on them, i have totally lost the ability to gauge when is she actually hungry. I know some people support comfort sucking, but i'd wish to minimize it. So, i had to rely on "clock watching" which i hate and KNOW i shudnt be doing!! Am also worried that clock-watching may result in me missing her growth spurt days. It doesnt help tat my gal is such a light napper in the daytime cos i tried the E.A.S.Y routine by Tracy Hogg and it doesnt work on her cos her nap is like sometimes 20mins.

I know i would like to 'feed on demand" but when i cant even read her hunger cues, HOW to feed on demand? For eg, today, i tried feeding on demand. Put her to sleep on a swing (this is another sleeping issue, she rely on us to keep rocking her to STAY asleep) Once we stop, she cry, so i took her out and feed her. She latched on and suck happily. When she was doing what i tot was comfort sucking, i unlatch her and switched sides. Again, she suckled. So i put her down after almost like an hour (both side combined) and do the burping, changing diaper, etc. Put her back to sleep and barely 20mins later, she's crying again. Again, i put her back to my breasts, and she suck again. My mom was like..."AGAIN???" I tried explaining about growth spurt, and she reminded me last week i THOUGHT THAT was a growth spurt. Sigh.

Sometimes, i am reduced to tears on how to make this work ie breastfeeding her and STILL have a somewhat adult normal life cos i feel like i am tied to her 24/7. I tried venturing out with her (i dont shun nursing in public) but she gets cranky and refuses to sit in the stroller for long so any trips out result in us packing and rushing back hurriedly cos she'd be crying and crying. But of cos, i am filled with so much love for her and would really want to continue BF-ing her for at least until she's 1yr old. But sometimes it's jus VERY overwhelming with all the problems in hand:

  1. 1) I dunno how to read her hunger cues, resulting in me not knowing WHEN to feed her
  2. 2) She loves comfort suck, so as and when i offer her the breasts, she ALWAYS take it and now i suspect she's starting to develop a habit of relying on my nipples to comfort herself to sleep or even nap in the afternoon
  3. 3) She refuses to take anything plastic, so the options of giving her pacifier and an occasional bottle (EBM) by my hubby so that i can take a break or rest is out.
  4. 4) Bringing her out so that i can resume and have a somewhat normal life without being confined to the home and nurse, nurse, nurse 24/7 is difficult becos she just hates sitting in the stroller and wants to be carried all the time. I tried using the sling, but she hates it too.
  5. 5) i dont have the heart to persist with (3) and (4) becos since birth, she has been diagnosed with reflux problems and if left to cry for too long, she will do forceful and projectile vomiting.

I am terribly sorry for the extremely long posting, thot i can paint a clearer picture of the situation i am. I felt like i'm just stuck in a corner and the only thing i can tell myself is to keep reminding that this is not gonna last forever and to cherish her, altho, sometimes the overwhelming negativity will rear its ugly head and makes me fret and feel down.

Thank you all for your comments, and taking the time to read and giving me advices. It really does help! Thanks to Sarah also for your patience and invite to the LLL meetings, i'd love to come but i just cant see myself doing that yet.

She is my miracle baby so i will persevere. After all, it has already been 3months now...
:thanks
 
Sometimes, i am reduced to tears on how to make this work ie breastfeeding her and STILL have a somewhat adult normal life cos i feel like i am tied to her 24/7.
Click to expand...

Sorry to say but this is life with a baby. You are tied to her 24/7. I also had a baby who refused to take a bottle or a pacifier and yes we were always together for 1 year until I went back to work. It can be hard but I think once you accept that that is the way it is it is easier to deal with. I found myself really angry and resentful when baby continued to wake to feed at night into the second half of that year, but once I got over myself and accepted that that was the way it was going to be, I felt better and was able to go to sleep quicker once he finished nursing instead of being awake thinking about how I was going to ever end night feeds, about how little sleep I was getting, etc.

Going out will get easier, it is hard with a first baby to see the light at the end of the tunnel and those early months feel like forever, that your life will always be like that, but it will get better. Little by little you will get small freedoms back, a bit more sleep, a longer shower, and uninterupted meal, time to yourself, a trip out of the house alone. The only time I had out the house by myself that first year was SHORT trips to the hairdresser or to buy groceries and they were wonderful!!!
If your baby doesn't like the sling, try a different type of carrier, one where she can be upright. YOur trips out of the house with baby may be short but they do a lot for your mental sanity. It might be good to join a mom and baby group, it is nice to talk to other moms as they are going through the same things you are going through.

As far as feeding if in doubt try feeding baby, that was my approach and baby # 1 fed every 1.5 to 2 hours 24 hours / day for 6 weeks when he finally went 2.5 hours at night, slowly over the next 6 weeks he went longer and longer night, but kept feeding at the breast every 2 hours during the dya until he was one. wehn you start to see the baby is not swallowing frequently try breast compression when that no longer works either then you can be sure baby is done and is just comfort sucking. That is what I did. Here is how to do breast compression

http://www.drjacknewman.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=82&Itemid=112

this site also offers handouts in chinese.
 
Fennho - Once again I must ask: Have you seriously considered getting someone from the Annerley (Yvonne Heavyside I've heard is GREAT and ladies on this thread have seconded this) to come to your house to give you some face to face advice, spend an afternoon with you, etc? I think you really need that. You sound like you're at your wits end and I think just having some company (especially expert professional company) would do you a world of good... Definitely a worthwhile investment if it's your darling baby you're concerned about.
 
I know exactly how you feel and here's the tips

fennho said:
skittles
  1. 1) I dunno how to read her hunger cues, resulting in me not knowing WHEN to feed her
  2. 2) She loves comfort suck, so as and when i offer her the breasts, she ALWAYS take it and now i suspect she's starting to develop a habit of relying on my nipples to comfort herself to sleep or even nap in the afternoon
  3. 3) She refuses to take anything plastic, so the options of giving her pacifier and an occasional bottle (EBM) by my hubby so that i can take a break or rest is out.
  4. 4) Bringing her out so that i can resume and have a somewhat normal life without being confined to the home and nurse, nurse, nurse 24/7 is difficult becos she just hates sitting in the stroller and wants to be carried all the time. I tried using the sling, but she hates it too.
  5. 5) i dont have the heart to persist with (3) and (4) becos since birth, she has been diagnosed with reflux problems and if left to cry for too long, she will do forceful and projectile vomiting.
Click to expand...

My son was born on Christmas day last year, 3.5 months old.

1. the way I read the hunger cry with my son is it is the sort of cry that in high pitch and makes you feel it is unbearable. It goes right in to your brain. I'd say it 's the cry that is the loudest and will not stop. I try to put my son in the position he normally feeds, if he calm down even a little bit, it normally means he is hungry. Or I just feed him anyway eventhough it's not the 3 hour interval yet. If he rejects it might also means he's too angry or really not hungry. PLEASE STOP WORRYING. I was the same and my son is 3.5months old now, and looks a lot thinner than your girl, if that helps. But his weight and height according to the doctor is fine....a lttle underweight but he has reflux which is another issue.

2.So as my son, he loves comfort suck but I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I could be wrong.

3. So as my son. He hates pacifier...however I use 'MAM' bottle and he loves it. It's suppose to be as close as nipple as you can find. I use it when I need me time.

4. my son used to hate pram and baby carrier but I have a great husband who makes him use to it by putting him in the pram and walk around longer and longer each day until heis so use to it. Now I can take him out with me using pram.

I was and still am the same but I gain more confidenteach day. I realise that baby can detect when you are worry and nervous. You are his world and if he can detect that from you, there's no way he can settle down and relax.
I had nanny at some point and notice that he prefer to be with her more than me (I could be wrong). I read from somewhere that it's because the nanny is relax and not to concern about everything like the mothers. I would not want my baby to prefer anyone else than me, so I try to stay relax and look at him with an open mind, not what I think he might feel. So what if he's tired and you thought he is hungry. He will just rject your nippleif he's really really full. He has his survival instinct too.

I was in such a state that I visited the GP and got him scaned almost every week at on point. Please don't think you are alone. I feel so guilty that I did not enjoy him and made him go to the hospial rather than having a relax early start in life.....
 
hi mommies
thank you very very much for all your postings and suggestions. I have taken the 1st steps in calling Yvonne and arranging an appt to have her come over to check things out...hopefully it'll help.

Someone correctly pointed out, i might be suffering from mild PND...perhaps i am...sigh...i am truly trying very hard to relax.

adahc
thanks for sharing. At least, your baby still takes the MAM bottles..i've tried lots of bottles and teats, to name a few, Avent, Pigeon, NUK, Adiri, MAM, nothing works. So me time is "on hold" now. So is sanity. :)

Clowe
Yvonne mentioned she can only be around for an hour, not spending an afternoon, i dunno how she's gonna help cos i need her to stick around to assist in the hunger cues. Oh well, i'll see how it goes from her 1st visit.

Thanks all again. :)
 
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