baby won't sleep

J

joannek

Registered User
my daughter is 21 mths old. she's very used to putting to sleep by nanny (sometimes rocked, if possible just pat). since i had a very difficult time breastfeeding her in the beginning, i didn't have the energy to put her to sleep myself in the first 6 mths. but since then i've been trying to put her to sleep, but she just won't. she'd try to play with me if i'm in her room.

we have established a very good bedtime routine (dinner, bath, grobag, milk in the crib, lights off, same lullaby CD, and not allowed on the floor) since she was 2 months, so she knows she's suppose to sleep. before she'd play with me in her crib. then i'll leave the room, and nanny will carry her or pat her, she'd sleep in 5-15 mins. recently, i want to put her to sleep without nanny, cos she's leaving soon. 1st we started a mickey mouse bedtime story with dad. but she'd ask for the bedtime story over & over again. when we told her it's the last time, she'd cry. then i'll take over & she'd ask me to carry her & rock her with our special CD, but she lies on my shoulders, enjoying the closeness. everytime i tried to put her down she'd say no no. when i call nanny to come in, she'd say bye bye to nanny. so she obviously enjoys my company a lot, so much that she doesn't want to go to sleep. i've tried explaining, but it won't work.

i don't wanna let her cry it out. she's a spirited/grumpy toddler. any advice?
 
When my first child was a toddler we moved house and she had, for the first time, a room and bed of her own. Because we only had two bedrooms I wanted her room to double up as a spare room for when visitors came so we gave her a double bed.

This allowed me to lie with her to help her get to sleep. So we?d read books until I didn?t want to any more (she always wanted more) then we?d lie there in the dark. I found the fact that I was lying down was better than standing and holding her to sleep and becasue I was with her she was still happy. Quite quickly she came to understand that when I said I was too tired to read any more that it was time to sleep.

At first I went in to stay with her most nights but over the years it became just the occasional night. I?m very glad I had this opportunity to chat with her as she got older. During her early teens it was the only time that she?d really open up to me and let me know what was troubling her.
 
thank you for sharing, barbwong.

when we go on trips, we share the same hotel room & she would play & stay up until 11pm!! i would be exhausted & everytime i said mommy has to sleep, mommy's tired, she's go to the side of the crib & make faces at me & try to make me laugh

finally, i'd have to swtich off all the lights, turn my back on her & pretend that i had fallen asleep, then she'd let nanny pat her to sleep.

if she falls asleep w/ you on her side, if she wakes up & you're not there, was she scared?
 
If she woke up she’d come into our bedroom and depending on how tired everyone was would either stay with us or I’d take her back and lie with her again. I found the double bed a great help when I was tired because sometimes I’d wake in the morning to discover I hadn’t made it back to my own bed!. When I became pregnant with my second child I got really tired and then my husband would often go with her if she woke up.
 
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Hi joannek,

I'm a first time mum so I don't have any proven methods to share with you. However, one thing I know is that every baby is different, just like adults. They have their own character and needs. Maybe your little one is just trying to spend more time with you? Perhaps you need to find out why she needs you so much at night rather than changing her pattern. When I was little, my mum and dad had to take turns holding me, not to rock me to sleep, but to get me through the night without screaming and waking up the entire building. Good thing is that's just a phase and we all laugh about it now!

Joannek, you are doing a good jobl already. Things are not always within our control. As long as your little one is healthy, don't worry about the rest too much.

Good luck!
 
things have taken a drastic turn since i last made a post.

nanny finally left last saturday. she's grown quite close with her cos she's been taking care of her since she was born. the new nanny arrived late november. meanwhile, i was worried sick since she just wouldn't let me put her to sleep at night (only at nap time). anyway, since nanny left last saturday, she dropped her nap (!!). and hasn't napped since. i did ask her whether she wants to nap, but she ignores me. by 5pm, she'd start yawning. then we start bedtime routine 30 mins earlier, and by bedtime she's so tired, she'd fall right to sleep after her milk. so keeping my fingers crossed, i hope it will continue this way.....

which brings me to my next question - when she used to nap, she'd nap for 45mins-1 1/2 hrs, then at night she'd sleep for 10-11 hrs. since she dropped her nap, she'd sleep for 12 hours at night. so which makes the same amt of sleep time/day. is it OK for her to not nap? since she's sleeping the same amt of time each day?
 
in a word, yes....

congratulations! now, do you think tha tyou can come and work your magic with my son? LOL!
 
LOL!! i have been praying since the new nanny arrived....

try praying.... or so you really want my magic wand?
 
magic wand please....

my probelm is that i seem to be able to get him sorted out, then something happens. i was in hospital again for a couple of days last week. this really throws him off as he has no idea where i've disappeared to. add to that the fact that he's had a cold for the last few days, it's been awful... only way anyone could get sleep last night was for him to sleep with me and poor hubby had to sleep on the sofa(we have a few new dogs, so he had to keep his eye on them)...my son slept from 10:45pm-6:10am...then a 45 minute nap this morning. THAT'S IT!

usually he sleeps MUCH better than that, but he HATES waking up when no one is around. i think that it scares him, especially with mummy being in the hospital 4 times over the past 7 weeks!

anyway, i'm hoping that it will eventually pass...hopefully BEFORE the next one arrives!
 
no more luck for me. she was up this morning at 5am. so by 12.30pm she was so tired she dozed off in the car for 1 1/2hr. she's now done with her bedtime routine but playing on the floor =(

sounds like your son is as sensitive as my daughter. seems like there isn't much we can do and hope that if the next one comes around they'll eventually learn that somebody else is as important as them..... everyone said it's being the only child & centre of attention..... somehow i'm starting to buy that theory.....
 
well.... last night, mine slept from 7;45pm-5:45am!!! i was quite happy with that...only problem was, it was with me... he's been sick and i'm in too much pain to be getting up and down with him all night.

i guess i should be thankful for such a nice long sleep, especially since i fell asleep by 8:15 last night myself!
 
All I can offer is an understanding of what you are going through. My daughter is now 22 months old and has only slept through the night maybe 3 times EVER. Most nights she wakes up 2-10 times a night. She will call for us and we have to go and sit with her until she falls back to sleep, this can take anywhere from 15min to 2hours. We also sit with her at bedtime until she is asleep and this can take from 20min-1hour. Then the same for her morning nap which is from 40min- 1.5hours. She wakes up between 6 and 7am, my husband is away alot and I have no helper so most of the time it is just me and I am EXHAUSTED.

She will even wake up if she is sleeping with me or if I sleep in her room. We have tried everything and even seen a sleep specialist, NOTHING has helped. Hopefully we will all get some rest soon

Good luck ladies
 
thank you angelalegonidec for sharing. no more luck for me. she's been waking up 2-10 times.... (well exactly as yours have been, no need to repeat your ecperience) in the past month.... so exhausted now gotta get some shut eye. will post more about it when i have time. =)
 
yes, i know. now she's dropped her nap. if she doesn't nap during the day, she drops right asleep at 7.30pm & wakes up between 5am-7.30am. waking up 2-3 times a night. 3 times a week, she'd be so exhausted by 4-5pm she'd fall asleep in the car. then she'd sleep at 11 pm. like yesterday, we were going from from her playgroup & she fell asleep in the car at 4.30pm, she woke up again at 7pm. still very tired & cried & fussed for an hr. then wouldn't sleep until midnight. last friday, she napped at 4pm for 30mins, & slept at 11pm (which i think is too late for a toddler). so i just cannot let her nap at all during the day.
 
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