Baby settling herself

B

bigmomma

New member
Hi everyone,

I have read in various places that I should be putting down my baby (3 months) awake so that she learns to settle herself. Up until now she has been falling asleep in my arms (usually at the breast).

When I try to put her down awake or semi-asleep she wakes up alarmed and starts whinging / crying. I have tried going in to her room and patting her/ soothing her without picking her up and then leaving again but this does not seem to work. She gets increasingly more upset until I have to pick her up and then she falls asleep in my arms.

I know many of you will say I should leave her to cry it out but I can't bear it. Is there another way?

Many thanks,

Bigmomma
 
This is what I do with my 3-month old:

After nursing her, she's usually asleep. I get up off the bed (I nurse her lying down), pick her up to burp her (that usually gets her awake) and then I put her down in her cot, semi-awake, turn on the mobile and leave the room.

When she used to cry, I'd go into the room, pick her up again, rock her a bit and then put her back down and leave the room. For however many times it'd take, you just repeat the process. (A variation on the Baby Whisperer technique).

It will work. It might sound really tiring right now, but in the long run, it'll be easier for you once she knows how to settle herself.

Good luck!
 
maybe try changing her nappy after the feed, this may wake her enough so that when she's put into bed, she's not in a deep sleep.

I always put mine into bed awake, if they cry I will try to settle without picking up, but if need be, I'll pick up then when they are settled put them back into bed to fall asleep on their own. It can be a good idea to follow the same pattern each time, ie, say the same thing, such as 'Night Night, time to sleep, mummy loves you'. may not understand now, but will understand the sentiment and soon come to realise that it's time for sleep.

I think it's very important to let them fall asleep on their own. My son (now 2) goes to bed and I give him kisses and cuddles and tell him I love him, then walk away while he's awake, he drops off within a couple of minutes usually.

i'm a big fan of the Baby Whisperer too!!
 
There is no point in letting them cry it out until they are a least 6 mths old, they are just too young to understand before then.
I guess the aim is to have things in place before then so you never have to.

What I did with my son was swaddle him, give him a quick cuddle, place him in the cot awake and relaxed, He would have a little cry but I'd place my hand on his chest (without patting) reasure him with a shhh and he would put himself to sleep.

Eventually he didn't need to cry and I could just put him down and walk out.

Do you have a routine? That will make a huge difference. If you are putting your baby to bed at the same time each day, they know what is expected and aren't confused by what you are trying to get them to do.
 
At what age are you supposed to start this routine for it to work on your baby? My baby is only 3 weeks old and I usually rock her to sleep in my arms before putting her in the cot. Is it too early to start her on it? Will she understand and get used to the routine?
 
i started from birth...with all of them.

I recommend buying 'The baby Whisperer' books if you want more information. I would suggest getting both the 1st (blue) one and the 2nd (cream) one. The blue one is an overview, and the cream one goes into much more detail (fyi, the cream one was written just before she died, so is a brain-dump of everything she knew).

In my view, rocking to sleep will mean that she will end up not being able to sleep without being rocked, which is a scenario you don't want to end up in (especially when they are 1 year old and heavy!!). Start as you mean to go on!

K
 
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Absolutley start as early as you can.
Any changes that you make will just become harder as they get older.
 
Thank you everyone for the advice - I have been doing a bedtime routine (almost since birth) and so now will try and incorporate the putting down semi-asleep/awake. Fingers crossed....:thanks
 
Dr Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems"

I purchased Dr Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" which details the progressive approach to sleep training!

I am finding it VERY useful and after two nights DD is doing REALLY well.

I gave her a feed just before I went to sleep last night at 10pm and was up for just 10 minutes (although it took me 45 minutes to get back to sleep!) with her at 1.45am.

I actually purchased it for my two year old who started having nightmares but it is so indepth about sleeping for all children and adults that I found myself "sleep training" my 6 month old. It is also filled with case studies or examples.

I find it more useful than a chapter on sleep in a general baby book.

Take a look if you want to learn more about sleeping and how to get the most out of it :)
 
There are so many books about advice on babies. Many of them have conflicting information. As a first time mother, it is confusing as well as frustrating, because you think you are or you are developing a 'bad' habit.

We are co-sleeping with our baby and have not used a cot. Just use the big bed for naps. We also rock the baby to sleep, holding baby until asleep before we put down and sometimes I nurse the baby to sleep. We are definetely using 'props' to put baby to sleep. Baby is still small so I guess it's not a big deal for us...but everyone around us says it's a bad habit and you'll have to deal with it when he's heavier. I keep second guessing what we are doing. It's working for us now, but what about later??? Keep going on or break the 'bad' habit now?

I'd like to hear about any Mum's experience with this and what happened later on.

li555
 
my baby was a GREAT sleeper...then she started crawling at 5 months. before that, she ALWAYS was put into her cot awake and she'd fall asleep on her own.

now... she's almost 9 months and won't go to sleep at all by herself. she stands in her cot and screams bloody murder until we go in. once she sees us, it gets even worse! and let me tell you, can she scream! the neighbours 4 doors down can hear her!

patting, doesn't work...neither does pick-up/put down.... so i'm stuck with rocking her to sleep....
 
when my dd was a newborn, she always wanted to be held before and during sleep. I rocked and carried her until she was around 7-9 months old. Then one day, she slept by herself in her cot (suddenly she hated rocking). So their preference can change anyday.

now my ds @ 4 months wants to be hold and rock to sleep during daytime, but night time he has no problem falling sleep on his own..very interesting..
 
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