Baby doesnt settle in her bed

K

kelliefiler

New member
Hi there,
My baby is only two weeks old and doesnt like to settle in her bassinett, she likes to be fed to sleep. All the books say I should be patting her to sleep in her own bed at this early age to rule out any future bad habbits but this just makes her distressed and she wont settle. Is it to early to impose these routines on her as she just wants the comfort of her mama - any advise would be really appreciated.
 
i know, that's exactly how i was. my baby likes to be held to go to sleep. ALL the books said no holding to sleep. i was driving myself up the wall when the nanny held her after she fell asleep. what we did was, we waited til she was asleep then sloooowwly, i mean, reeeaaaally slooowly lowered her to the bassinet, keeping your chest close to hers, while padding her bump. then we slowwly raise our chest away from hers, meanwhile padding her (playing some lullaby at the background also helps). then if she's quietly lying in bed (might have to do this several times until she's so tired she doesn't want to struggle anymore & just lies in her bed). continue to pad her until she's really settled & slowing down the rythm of padding. whenever she wakes up crying, go back & pick her up padding her. go thru the same cycle again. i remember she used to wake up every hour (cos of that 1 hr sleep cycle, i figured) for 3 to 4 times until she's really sound asleep. we continue doing this. gradually she understands that she has to sleep in her crib. i remember it was around 1 yr old when she finally didn't mind us putting her down to sleep. past 1 yr old, she actually just wanted padding.

it sure depends on the child how they like to be put to sleep & how long they needed carrying. and it also depends what kind of parent you are. some can let them "cry it out", some can't. i'm the later & i'm glad about what we choose what we did.
 
in theory, i understand and agree with the books. however, i also think that to a 2 week old, comfort and loving is as important as milk and a clean nappy.

my son is now 19 months old. our evening routine is this: around 7;30pm or so we prepare his milk and he comes and crawls up and lies down beside me on the sofa. he drinks his milk and by the time he's finished it, he's asleep.

it may not be the "best" way, but we are all happy and there's never a problem if i'm not home. he's happy to drink his milk in his bed with my helper or my husband keeping him company.

it's our way to make sure we spend a little one-on-one time with him. i hope that this will continue when our next baby arrives in 5 months. that way, he'll know that he is just as special as this new one that is so demanding all the time.
 
That is way too early to be worried about causeing sleep issues later. At 3-4 months, then you want to get into a routine with sleep habits. For the early weeks I would just do whatever you have to do to make sure YOU get as much sleep as possible, whether that means baby in bed with you, or in the crib. Sleep the first few months is ourly biological, they sleep when they need to sleep, and are awake when need to be awake, so don't worry about getting into bad habits yet. What I di was starting around 3-4 months After I nursed baby I put him down to sleep(most of the time he falls asleep during nursing), and if he was still awake I put him down anyway and sometimes he would cry 5-10 minutes then fall asleep, my max for that age was 15 minutes of crying, then I would nurse him again. This way they gradually learn to self soothe and put them selves to back to sleep.The first couple of months, your baby doesn't know how to self soothe, so you need to do it for them, by rocking, feeding, walking, whatever works. "Happiest baby on the block" is a really good book about sleep and colic for the first 3 months of life.
 
Thanks girls,
Thats some great advise and I really appreciate it. She is so alert for a two weeks old, I sense she is fighting her sleep. We will get there its just going to take time, and a few restless nights. I am trying to do both, cuddling her to sleep and also getting her used to going into her bassinette awake on her morning sleeps - fingers crossed.
 
joannek, my husband and i are doing exactly the same thing to put our daughter to sleep, its reli frustrating, its reli a very challenging task. first we have to carry her and pad her bump, but the most difficult task is putting her into her crib. i have to keep my chest tight on hers adn then my husband quietly slip his hands in between to let her feel that i'm still holding herand then we lower her...but most of the time, we successfuly put her down and tehn she will yawn and kick and be very wakeful the next 10 secs...dont know wt to do...
to be honest, i reli want to cry when i see that you have to practice this for a whole year....so for us, we still have 10 more months to go
 
well, nikimom, every child is different. my experience is only an example. maybe your daughter will sleep better than mine.

but the quietly laying her down maybe lasted 6 mths. after she turned 6 month old (round & about that time), i'd nurse her, she'd fall asleep & it'd be easy to put her down. so she'd wake up once crying afterwards (maybe an hr later), i'd have to pick her up, but once she was picked up, she'd fall right back to sleep, so i just had to carry her maybe 5 mins longer & she'd be easy to put down.

and u know what, i know it sounds unsympathetic to say, but this 1st year passes so fast (i know, i know, it feels like time really moves so slow now to you, cos you're awake for so long each day), but it really moves fast. before you realize, your little bundle is running around the house, not wanted to be carried. what i did wrong, and the only thing that regretted was wanting to put down my baby so badly that i was so very frustrated i was stilll carrying her aftre she fell asleep. i so wished i had treasure and enjoy more those hours that she was lying sleeping in my arms, instead of wanting to put her down & go watch TV.

keep up the good work, you'll be happy to stick thru it, cos i think it really helps my baby's self confidence cos her needs were well met.

:bighug one big hug for you to stay put.
 
thx joannek, it seems you are helping me out in every thread :)
during the first month, there were reli times when i was so frustrated and helpless when my daughter would stay up the whole nite wanting to be carried, i once wanted to just throw her out of the window :P....
but every now and then when i look at her, i just think nth can be so adorable, and i would carrry and cuddle her when she is fast asleep , sometimes when my husband goes to work, i would put her in my bed and have her sleep in my arm...but my husband and friends would scold me and tell me how dangerous that could be :P
but in general, i reli enjoy every moment i have with my little girl
 
i used to nap with my daughter in my bed too. i just made sure i had a light blanket & she has her own. i enjoyed it so much. she's now 19mths & wouldn't even stay in our bed for longer than 3 mins, except when the TV is on.

There are so many ppl who will tell you not to sleep with you baby in your bed. but then there are also a lot of studies that support co-sleeping, which is still practiced in a lot of countried where bfeeding is the norm, except in the USA & UK, Canada, who seemed to believe that newborns should be taught to be "independent", and sleep on their own. now that i have done some research in co-sleeping, and the "health/emotional" benefits that it brings the baby, i am pro co-sleeping. (when i was a new mother i also wanted my baby to sleep "on her own", cos that's what all the books tells us to do) but sure, we have to be very careful about avoiding fluffy pillows, big duvets, soft mattress, etc. i think babies & mothers sleep better co-sleeping, and babies feel more secure this way. it is only normal that they wanted to be carried & held & co-sleep, they've been in this nice warm environment with background music (mommy's heartbeat) for as long as they have been, and suddenly, they're:bump: put to sleep in a box with bars, cold & alone. i would freak if i were them!!:bump:
 
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