Baby does not want to sleep in her cot

H

Har-loi

Registered User
Hi,

As my baby girl is 7 months old now and getting more active, we are facing with more headaches.

Now, she chooses the place to sleep. She no longer likes her cot anymore. Whenever I put her down to sleep in her cot, she will immediately cry. I can only put ther in the cot when she has fallen into deep sleep. And, if she wakes up and finds that she's in the cot, the first thing she'll do is cry! However, if I put her on our bed, she'll be contented there and sleep on her own.

Does anyone have the same problem? How do I train her to get use to her cot?

Thanks!
 
You can train her to sleep in her own cot with the "controlled" crying method, as outlined here:
http://www.askbaby.com/topic/baby-sleep-training.htm

If that bothers you, then have her sleep with you, or wherever it is that she likes to sleep.

It is a common problem, baby doesn't sleep when or where you would wish baby would sleep.

My first baby wasn't such a problem until she got to be about 20 months old.

My second baby would only fall asleep in arms, walking, until he was about 1 year old. Then he had to be cuddled, etc. It wasn't until he was about 2 years old that we were able to successfully use the controlled crying method.

Different kids require different things.

Good luck
 
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Hi loupou,

Thanks for the article. Will definitely give it a try when I have established her feeding pattern. Right now I am still breast-feeding her by demand and she has still yet to gain enough weight.

Wow, as compared to your second child's case, I think my case then is pretty minor. We just have to squeeze the three of us in our tiny queen size bed. It's quite difficult to get a good sleep sometimes as I am scared that I'll squash the baby:(
 
I realize that sleeping in the same bed as your baby is not comfortable for everyone but please don?t worry about squashing the baby.

When a breastfeeding mother has her baby in bed with her she will sleep facing the baby. If this mother falls to a lying position it will be on her back, away from the baby. It is not possible to fall forward onto the baby. If you don?t believe me try it. Lie on your side in the middle of your double bed and see the amount of effort required to roll forward. It is a lot.

The other important thing about sleeping with your baby is that the baby?s arms not be swaddled. With his arms free the baby can alter you if you do get a little close to him.

Best wishes,
Barb
 
My baby was the same for many months. But grew out of it at about 12 months. We did not do controlled crying but just found that with time he began to sleep in the cot. He would have to fall asleep in our arms but then when we transferred him to the cot he would be ok. I think some babies just grow out of this.
 
I trained my baby to fall asleep on her own in the crib around 10 months old. I started with night time sleep first where light was off and all silent. She might have cried for the first 2 -3 days for a few mins and then she fell asleep. Then, I proceeded with her daytime nap (she switched to 1 nap around 15 months) and she cried bloody muder for 10 mins or so for the first few days. Then, she is used to it and will play for a while before she sleeps on her own. I think it's a matter of training and helping them to develop a routine. Of course, they will test your patience and limits from time to time. Be consistent and they will know it's not gonna work.

P.S. you need to bear their crying though and I know it's not easy but it just works and helps both of you. I think this is one of the developmental milestones.

Just my experience and I agree that every baby is different.
 
My baby is 4 months old and having many difficulties right now. We're trying to push a routine but find that she sleeps at varying hours (1 or 2 am sometimes) and won't fall asleep on her own (even with a pacifier). It's gotten to the point where even cradling her and rocking her - she resists and screams and needs to held upright. I'm not sure whether this is normal behaviour for her age or she's going through some sort of transition, but it makes bed time very frightful. Any advice for babies this young? or do all the above apply for babies of all ages?
 
my baby is 8 months,same like you,she falls securely asleep in our bed,but once left in her cot,she will wake up crying,still havent figure out what to do with this problem,but i read somewhere that if you let her spend enough time in her cot playing and once she get used to the idea that that s her 'place',she will hopefully falls asleep in there too!good luck!
 
Wow, after going through this thread and "Baby sleeping late", I am really glad that we followed a routine from Day 1.

I really think that is the #1 reason why now (10 months), 99.x% of the time, Baby has no problems settling himself in his own cot and sound asleep by 8:30-9pm every night.

I realize each baby is different, but fortunately ours took to the routine and we did not set any habits (rocking, cradling, sleeping in the cot, etc) that we would need to stress about "breaking" in the future.

The only thing I might say to Jasminea would be that, letting her play in the cot might set the wrong association: that is the place to sleep, not to play.

Good luck!
 
In some ways it is nice to know that I am not alone
I was just going to post the same problem
My baby is also 7 months and has started waking up in the middle of the night.
SHe has always been a good sleeper and has slept in her cot from the day she was born.
Now however she wakes up and seems to roll over onto all fours and cries and cries until i bring her to bed with me.
SHe is not interested in feeding and is obviously sleepy but tosses and turns for at least an hour until finally falling asleep
My husband and i are zombies all day and it is really killing me!
This seems to be quite common at this age
/ Its nice to know but not really much easier to bear!
I hope someone can offer a solution.
 
Our baby is now 8 months and he has been sleeping in his own room since the first day he came home from the hospital. We have a baby monitor next to his bed and we will hear him if he wakes up in the middle of the night. It was tough in the beginning because I had to go to his room to breast feed in the middle of the night. But now he is sleeping from 8pm through the night till about 630am. He is very happy with sleeping in his own room all by himself and even if he wakes up earlier than we do, he will play in his bed with his toys or does his baby talk. Then he will start to yell for us when he is ready to have his meal. When we bring him to our bed, he prefers to crawl around and play. He does not have the concept of sleeping in our bed at all.

I think once you get the baby used to sleeping with mom and dad in the same bed, it may take a while to train him to sleep on his own. I have seen my cousin. Her 2 daugthers were 5 and 3 years old and still sleep in the same bed with her and her husband. My friend's 7 year old boy and 5 year old girl still want to sleep in mom and dad's bed now. It is a pain because they have to wait till the kids fall asleep and then move them back to their own rooms.

As for the maid sleeping in the nursery. I cannot stand the thought of my baby falling asleep and waking up with the nanny closer to him. I guess I will get too jealous. So, baby in his own room. Nanny in her own room. Mom and dad in our own room....
 
HI Blee
I agree that at least from about 6 months on baby should have her own room.
Unfortunately that is a luxury we dont have since we only have a one room apartment!
I was too paranoid about SIDS in the beginning anyway, and I prefered only having to roll out of bed and feed baby without too much effort!
My baby was always happy to sleep on her own and fell asleep happily without us in the room from a very early age.
She never slept in the same bed as us, especially because my husband had nightmares about rolling on to her!
She also slept through from 7pm to 5am most of the time. And like your baby was happy to play and talk to herself in her cot until she was hungry
It was just so sudden that she started to wake up and cry. We tried patting and rocking, sometimes I try to feed, but most time she is not hungry.
It seemed to co-incide with her starting to crawl. i wonder if this is connected.
Anyone else notice this timing?
 
Hi Cinnamon,

I do think it has got something to do with baby's new learning skills as well.

My girl when she'd started crawling, she used to roll over and then starts to cry each time she wakes up in the middle of the night. I had to carry her out from the cot and cuddle her to sleep before putting her back to her cot. It was during this stage that she wakes up alot..maybe too anxious to learn her new skill.

Now she's beginning to stand and walk and I am facing a diff. porblem. She'll wake up ~2am and begin to practice her standing and sitting skills in her cot.. it's really quite funny to watch her at times:) ..but, I have to carry her and convince her to go back to sleep..
 
My guestion is this - is one month to young to start controlled crying? I know she is still very young but I want to break her bad habbits of having to be rocked or falling asleep on the boob now to cause any problems further down the road. Also I am starting to dread sleep times due to her being unsettled when she goes into her own bed.
 
Hi Kylie

Controlled crying with a one month old is way too early. According to my ped you could gently start doing this from 6 months on. I understand you're scared your baby will develop a bad habit. Try not to worry about it too much.

I remember the first three months were the hardest for all of us anyway. You'll see, when your baby hits three months you'll notice a big difference in his/her behaviour and you can interact with the baby much more and you'll be soooo relieved that life doesn't just consists of Sleep-Eat-Cry-Poo ;-)
 
Thanks for your advise,
perhaps i shouldnt have said control crying as it is more just trying to get her to sleep in her bed when she is showing the tired signs but is still awake, as now she is waking as soon as we put her down and is very hard to resettle. I am letting her cry but will pat her after a few minutes then if it continues past 10 minutes will pick her up for a cuddle then straight back down. I guess it is a gentler method of control crying. Is it still to early for this? as sometimes it can take me up to three hours to settle her and then she is so overtired by that stage.
 
if you allow her to cry in her cot and she s already 10 months,doesnt the baby try climbing out?thats the problem we are facing.
 
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