autistic?help!

L

lynn cheung

Registered User
My son's English teacher just told me today that she suspected that he might be autistic and suggested to take him for some tests.
She said that:
- he didn't want to sit for a long time; he usually walked around the classroom during lesson, though he knew all his lesson and answered well
- he seemed distant; he played by himself and didn't like to make friend or talk to other students
- sometimes he screamed or took off his shoes
- he seemed different than other children
- he didn't make eye contact with her
- he made some weird noises

I called his Kindermusik teacher and she also said that he didn't like to sit for a long time though he responded well and did well in the class. She promised to observe him next time.

My son is 3 years and 5 months and is in K1. He speaks English and Putonghua at home and learns Cantonese at the school (local kindie).

He can be a bit naughty sometimes but overall he's quite good at home. Sometimes he does things he's not supposed to do just for the fun of it or he laughs about it afterwards. Hey, he's a boy.
He can sit for an hour when he does things he likes such as playing with playdoh, when I read him a book etc.
Sometimes he takes off his shoes when we're outside, but not often.

He screams but only once or twice a month last time and I thought this is what he learns from his friends at the school bc he didn't scream before he went to kindie. He only screams a word "chickau" (I don't know what it is).

He's an only child so he doesn't have anybody to play with at home but me. But he can play with my cousins and nephews/nieces for a long time, but they're much older than him though (16 - 23 years old).
Last year we visited my nieces (5 and 2 years old), he played playdoh on the floor alongside them as he couldn't speak their language, he didn't talk much with them).
He also a shy child, but he's very friendly once you get to know him and he likes to joke and make people laugh (sometimes with his naughtiness).

He makes eye contact with me when I talk to him. Only when he's too busy playing that he ignores me.

He's bright thought not genius, knows his lessons very well. And I always thought that he's normal.

For the weird noises, he likes to hum and make noises to different tunes he has in his head.
Last time he hummed to 15 different tunes he made up by himself, pretending that he was a CD player.
He likes to listen to CD though he doesn't sing much. He knows the words to a lot of songs but he just doesn't sing much.
He prefers to make up his own tunes/songs and hums and makes some sounds to them.

Do you think he's autistic? Where can I get him tested?

Thanks for the help, sorry a bit long.
 
I don't think it's appropriate for any of us to comment on whether your son has autism or not, that's really for a doctor to determine. It might be autism, it might be ADD, it might just be that he's a normal boy! If anything he sounds smart to me and might just be bored at school? It's also important to keep in the mind that not all teachers treat all children the same. My brother was treated very badly by his teacher when he was 6 and my mother was constantly called to the school to be told he had misbehaved etc. It turned out the teacher simply didn't like him but it caused problems for my brother. My mother changed his school and they never had another complaint.

If your son does have autism the sooner you find out the better as you can start treating it. Outcomes are better when there is early intervention.
 
I agree with Aussiegal, there might be something at school that may be upsetting him. My little guy was being bullied at the playgroup he attended. So he kept to himself, and didn't interact with the other kids. His playgroup teacher also told me he had a slew of problems from social to developmental.

We decided to move him to Kindergarten. At 8 weeks, I went in to pick up his first report card and chat with his new teacher. Guess what?? His report card was fine. So it could just be the teacher and environment.

If you'd like to talk to a professional, there is a GeoExpat member, who's a child psychologist and works with autistc kids. I'll drop her PM and maybe you can chat with her.
 
Thanks Aussiegal&Rani, I'd like to chat with the psychologist.

It's quite shocking for me bc I always thought he's normal and sometimes just shy.
He's ok with his lessons&homework, academically he's fine.

Another thing, I'm quite afraid that the teacher doesn't like him. Though she said that she let him to sit beside her so he wouldn't walk around so much.

Today he got a red mark on his nose. When I asked him, he didn't say anything. But after a while he said that the teacher pinched him in the nose real hard and it was painful. He told me that before that he screamed.
When I called at the school later on, the teacher said that she helped him to clean his nose (he had a runny nose), maybe she just did it too hard.
But when I asked my son again, he said that the teacher didn't use tissue but used hand to pinch his nose.

Last year, in September, he got home with a bruise on his leg. He told me that a teacher with glasses (another teacher) got angry and kicked/spanked him (not clear) because he stepped on her skirt.

So I don't know what to make out from these stories. Was he right, or did he just make them up?
I can't ask him in detail as he doesn't understand the question "why" yet.
 
Lynn, I think you really need to get to the bottom of this quickly. I haven't come across many three year olds that make things up. .
 
Give Rachael at www.smiletherapy.net a call
If you go to specific places that deal with autistic children, they will ALWAYS go looking for autism or add or adhd or whatever they specialize in. It is important to look at the big picture - diet, motor skills & the list goes on. Incidentally - children not making eye contact is NOT necesarily an indication of autism, it could be a. cultural or b. a sign of hypervisualization which is spectrum disorder and not autism or c. hypervisualization as part of an autistic predisposition.
Unfortunately there are many teachers handing out the term of autism and add et al. all too frequently these days. This does nothing but frighten parents and cause big issues with the parent child relationship.
Your son sounds bright, and certainly he may be hypervisual (I bet he loves books and will probably be an early reader).
Is the teacher really engaging your son in class or is he bored?
There are just so many things to look at. Leave no stone unturned and do not let your son be labelled until you have compelling evidence from a reputable and knowlegable person trained in the early years.
Sadly, while all these children are being picked up in classrooms and labelled, the ones with the real issues are often going un noticed!
 
Thanks all.

I went to his school today and talked to the director and she let me observed him in the class and we'll do it again tomorrow.
I hope to talk to the Inggris teacher tomorrow, too.

Yes, he loves books and we read to him since he was a baby. He likes to play with playdoh and can sit for a long time.
He can watch TV but can't watch it for a long time, he'll get bored.

I just wonder if he doesn't like to sit down in the class bc he has nothing to do. He can sit for a long time if he's doing something but I think he's bored if he only sits and listens for a long time.
The director promised me that she'd try to talk to the class teacher to make the sitting down minimum.

I can see what labelling can do for children that's why I'll fight for him.
 
Your son's teacher sounds pretty incompetent if she's throwing the word autism around because your son isn't exactly as she wishes he was. I would be seriously thinking about taking him out of this school before she does any serious damage on his self-esteem.
Your son seems to exhibit no symptoms of autism, he seems like the normal three year old kid who just wants to play... have you thought of putting him in a montessori school, where he would be allowed to express himself more freely?

+ If those stories about the teachers are true, another reason to get your child out of that school ASAP!!!!
 
i totally agree with ontheroad. i don't know much about autism, except that i've read about it in books. your son sounds bright & he talks to you. it doesn't sound like your son is making up the "pinching the nose" & "kicking incident". if your son turn out to be ok, i suggest you consider changing schools for him.
 
I used to work with an autistic kid and have a background in education and I did my masters in educational psychology. One of the most basic signs of autism would not being able to initiate conversations or play with people or other kids. Autistic kids normally prefer to play by themselves and not have conversation with other kids. There is a possibility that your kid might have ADHD which is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Is he able to sit still even when he's at home? With ADHD, there is behavioural management methods that you can work out with your child. But then again, maybe you might just have a hyper kid...if it's that, try to cut down his sugar intake.

Another possibility, he has a high IQ and he's getting bored in class.

But like everyone says, since I've not observed your child, it's really hard for me to say a lot. It's best to bring him to see a professional if you're really concern. A word of caution, since he's so young, it's also hard to misdiagnose him as well.

Hope this is helpful...my 2 cents' worth
 
Thanks all for the support.
I'm going back tomorrow to observe him in the class.

Sunniefaith,
my son is able to sit for a long time, even to an hour when he does things he likes such as playing with playdoh/rice, or when I read him stories from the books.

He's active but not hyper active, but I'll try to cut down his sugar intake next time.

He isn't a genius but he learns fast.
I teach him through play and I don't really like the homework he brings from the school everyday. I don''t like it that he has homework everyday but that's the price we have to pay by attending local kindie. Besides those homework, I don't teach him anything academically. We just play. He can pretend play and has good imagination.

He said mama, papa and yumyum for yummy at 6 months. Started speaking at 1 year and by 16 months could speak in sentences and in 2 languages. He speak English to me and Putonghua to my husband.
He only learned Cantonese when he started K1 last August.
He walked at 1 year old.
He can make eye contact with me and other people.

Before kindie he already knew numbers, colors, shapes and alphabets, all through playing.

He's a bit shy but is funny when you get to know him.
Sometimes a bit naughty and does things he is not supposed to do just to see my reaction.

So he seems very normal to me.
 
Lynn,

Just by reading what you have wrote. I seriously doubt that there's anything wrong with your child? Do you know what's the teacher's qualifications and have you asked her on what basis does she think that your child is autistic? Even if he's autistic, he's on a high functioning side and some may even say that he might have asperger. But I seriously doubt it as well as he's able to make contact, play and get along with people. What you can try is to socialise him with other kids. He may lack the socialising skills of a 3 or 4 year old. Try to bring him to the playground more often and let him play with the other kids. Sometimes kids do become aloof with other kids because they are so used to adults' company to a point that they think that other kids around their age are childish.

Feel free to ask me more. But I really think you might want to have a good talk with the teacher and principal and also maybe change schools.
 
I talked to the English teacher this morning and she still insisted that I get my son tested. There was nothing I could say to tell her otherwise.

I also observed my son in the class. Sometimes he stood and walked around. I also noticed something else. Some children got bored too at some points. Though they didn't walk around, one looked at the back for a while, one looked at the ceiling for a few minutes.

I've already sent an email to the principal today.

SO I just wait and see.
Meanwhile, we are going to do some research and try to find other school around here.

I'll write an email to you, Sunniefaith, when I get some time off from my son.
 
I talked to the teacher again after school today.

She told me that she usually didn't have time except teaching then left, but today she spent time alone with my son for 15 minutes. She played with him and had conversation with him.
She then told me that she finally got to know him and convinced that he was not autistic!
Now, she suspected that he might have a high IQ and that the school system/teaching was not challenging enough for him. She suggested that I had his IQ checked.

I'm going to give her another chance now that she really gets to know him.

Thanks all for your support,
Lynn
 
Hi Lynn

I noticed that with all the kids with a high EQ in class. Keeping a preservative free diet and a low sugar diet may help your child. They've conducted a study in Australia and found that many kids who were originally diagnosed with ADD/ADHD were actually simply reacting to the chemicals that are found in everyday food like bread. There's a lot of junk in our everyday food here in HK.

Good Luck! Sunniefaith! It's me... Marina! Are you getting clucky???
HEHEHEHE!
 
I know an expert Dr. Pu on the autism field. He is the director of the Rainbow Project, which is an special autism education charity program. You may want to get his help on assessing your son's situation.
 
that'd the thing with having a kid w/ higher IQ. at the traditional local system, where the teacher:student ratio is 1:30, the teachers don't have to time to get to know each child. when a child has higher IQ, learn faster, hence get bored easier; when they're bored they find sth to entertain themselves, hence being labelled as autistic/ADHD/ADD/cannot focus, etc. and brings the parents to unnecessary worries. that is so unfair. like my nephew, he's able to talk in full sentences with correct grammar by 15mths, have a large vocab & photographic memory. he's 2.5 now, going to pre-nursery in a "local kindergarten". his teacher told my sis-in-law that he's bright, but he has problems focussing. so when i heard, i said, i'm sure he's just bored with what the teachers are teaching, he's so much smarter than regular kids, and it's unfair to say that about him...
 
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