autistic?help!

spockey, My son is eating quite healthy only once in a while he can get some treats. But I'm trying to find other things to improve his diet.

4seasons, thanks. But the teacher is already sure that my son is not autistic after she spent some time alone with him.

joannek, I agree with you. We sure did worry about him these past few days. Fortunately, the teacher agreed to spend time with him alone and observe him again.
I use the learn through playing method ever since he was a baby, so he learned more than other children with only helpers or grandparents taking care of them. Now he likes to explore and try different and new things.
 
Hi Lynn,

Have you heard of ABA program. I would recommend if your son is diagnosed as autistic younger than 3 years old, ABA would be helpful.
 
If you are worried, then it's best for you to seek advice and help. I'm not saying your son is autistic but better go and check things out while he is still young - there is nothing to lose. My son was diagnosed as having autistic features when he was 2 years old through the child assessment centre. He is now going to a special school in Ngau Tau Kok which I made the right chose to go and see a specialist.
 
In general, a classroom teacher would not be trained to specify a particular learning disorder, and certainly not qualified to diagnose autism. The professional repsonse would be to suggest to you that something wasn;t right and maybe he should see a pediatrician.
Of course, now she's changed her tune. Dumbass - couldn;t she find 15 minutes to see him BEFORE she started throwing around the word 'autism?'
That's right - teachers are too busy to actually DO THEIR JOBS?
 
I think it is terrible that a teacher would go to a parent and actually use the word autism, when 1. they are not trained to diagnose, and 2, she hadn't even really tried or made an effort to see what the problem might actually be. Why would she not spend that time with him to start with to see what reasons there may be for his behavior before telling you he has autism?
How long is he expected to sit still? He is only three, he will learn a lot more by doing, than by sitting and listening. I would seriously consider sending him to a different style of a program where he can do more hands on activites, and hopefully a better teacher.
 
Having been a therapist for autistic children, I can tell you that I see some traits of autism, though I think it's not serious at all. I would suggest you to get your child assessed as soon as possible and start the most natural treatment too. There will be a free talk on "how to improve social skills of autistic children" 6/23/07. If you are interested, let me know.
 
Thanks, all.

The same teacher just told me last week that my son now began to play with other children though he still prefered adults' company.

I'm not worry for his social skill now.
I think he didn't play with his friends at the school before because he didn't speak any Cantonese prior to kindie (we speak only English and Putonghua at home).
He can understand Cantonese now, but his first and second languages are still English and Cantonese, so he's not using Cantonese much outside school.
He's also a bit shy.

Only last week he played with a friend's daughter (she's 1 year older) and he liked it. She liked to play with him, too and didn't even want him to go home. It because she spoke English to him so he could make conversation with her.

So I think the language is the barrier at the school. Most of the student speak Cantonese at the school and can't really make conversation in English though they know some English.

Lynn
 
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That is great news!! But if you ever feel insecure, it's always cool to do an assessment. Think about it, if your son has a very high IQ or EQ and we miss spotting it and consider that as a problem, we will not be able to give him the right quality education. You may be surprised if you find out that he is actually a genius! Good luck!
 
rani said:
I agree with Aussiegal, there might be something at school that may be upsetting him. My little guy was being bullied at the playgroup he attended. So he kept to himself, and didn't interact with the other kids. His playgroup teacher also told me he had a slew of problems from social to developmental.

We decided to move him to Kindergarten. At 8 weeks, I went in to pick up his first report card and chat with his new teacher. Guess what?? His report card was fine. So it could just be the teacher and environment.

If you'd like to talk to a professional, there is a GeoExpat member, who's a child psychologist and works with autistc kids. I'll drop her PM and maybe you can chat with her.
Click to expand...
May I also get your contact for the child psychologist. thank you.
[email protected].
 
Another problem at the school:

Last Thursday my son's K2 class teacher asked me to call her.

Found out that that day he had English class again with the same teacher as last time (remember the "autistic" incident).

The English teacher asked my son to recite the phonics A-Z. Though he knew them, he said that he didn't want to recite them.
She got angry and at the end of the class she asked my son to stay for another English lesson while all of his friends returned to their class.
My son cried and said he wanted to go home.

She then talked to the class teacher and in the end the class teacher told me that while my son was smart, the teaching system in the school was not suitable for him. Especially now in K2, where they're having lots of school works and dictations.
She suggested that we move him to another school.

I am so disappointed with the teachers there.
School's not even 2 weeks yet, and they'd just given up on my son!
Aren't they supposed to be patient?

I know my son can be trying sometimes (hey, he's not even 4 years old yet), but he isn't very naughty.

Is it because I went to the person in charged to complain about the English teacher last term that now she doesn't like having my son in her class?
Now I'm beginning to worry about my son while he's at the school.

I don't know about the school system here, but is this a normal practice in Hong Kong local school (and the teachers' attitude, too)?

Thanks for reading this.

Lynn
 
I think expecting a 3 year old to sit through actual "classes" is ridiculous. He is only three! Maybe it would be better to switch him to a learn through play type of school. He will learn a more, and you don't want to set up a negative environment for him where he hates school and hates learning.
 
I agree, he's still only a baby, let him have fun and play.I have noticed here in HK that the parents seem to be so eager to start 'schooling' their children at such a young age. What's the hurry?I sent my kids to preschool simply to learn a few life skills such as sharing, taking turns and and simply learning to socialise. Everything else will come in time and hopefully my children will be much more rounded as people for being allowed to develop at their own paces.

The fact that your son stood up to the teacher shows he has guts, so good luck to him. I too would look at putting him in to a less 'pushy' preschool.
GOOD LUCK
 
lynn,

You have to decide what you want for your child. Some parents opt for their children having a childhood and giving time fun and then at a later stage, give them the help they need in school. But some parents opt for stuffing their kids with as much knowledge and as young as possible. This is very common in HK. Thus, resulting in 'nazi' English teacher and pressurizing school. Have a think about it and decide what you want for your child.
 
Thanks for reply, everybody.

Sophwillsmum, I'm not eager for my son to start schooling as such a young age. But it's how they do it here in Hong Kong that they have to go to kindergarten when they're above 2 years and 8 months (am I right?)
Our son didn't even go to nursery like others did, so he was not used to sitting down for a long time at the school like other students.
(I tell my husband that sometimes older students don't want to answer teacher's question, but it doesn't mean that they need to transfer to another school)

You can ask my husband, I always complain about Hong Kong system that asks children go to kindergarten in such a young age.
(Back home, they start at 4 years instead of 3).

My son will turn 4 in October and he's in K2 now.

Capital and Sunniefaith,
I didn't know when I put him in this school last year that he was going to have lots of works to do.
I thought all the children had to do at kindergarten was playing. Well, I was wrong.

I was surprised that he had to learn reading, writing and math since K1. He had homework everyday, and assessment for one whole week at the end of each term.
I was very surprised!
But my husband told me that this was normal.
(What? Do you call that normal?)
Even my cousin told me that this is normal when I complained about it to her.
For me, I'm opposed to this kind of teaching. At home, I always play with him and he learns so much through playing.
(My husband doesn't agree with me since he grew up in Hong Kong and has this mindset).

But we can't afford International school and I'm told that all the local schools are like this (am I wrong again?)

I've seen naughtier and spoiled children (so how do they perform at the school then?)
I always think that my son is quite normal (am I wrong again?) then why the teachers don't want him in their classes?

I don't know what to do anymore.
My husband tells me that he needs to be able to sit still as this is the way they do it in Hong Kong (and it's my job to make sure that our son does it! though I've tried everything I know of, but it's not good enough since the teachers complain about him)

But the teachers can't complain that he doesn't know his stuffs, though.
Though sometimes he walks around in the class when he sits long enough, he knows what's going on in the class and can answer correctly when asked. He can remember things very fast.
Even before he went to kindie, whenever I played with him, he could remember quickly and learned a lot through playing.

Do I need to change him to another local school since we can't afford International school?
(But if all the local schools are like this, he'd still be miserable, no?)

I'm going to do some research about other local kindergartens now.

Thanks again for reading this long post. I have nobody to turn to here.

Lynn
 
What a hard situation! I don't know what I would do in your shoes? Are there different types of local schools or are they all genuinely the same. We met some old friends of my husbands who had their children in local schools that were more experienced based, not sure the name of the program, anyways the parents ( 2 couples) both thought these types of local school were superior to other types, but what shocked me was that the children were only 5,6,7 years old and were up until 1000 pm doing school work! When do they sleep? Never mind getting to play sports, or swim or other extracirricular things, which I think are important

The really sad thing about trying to get preschooler to do all this "academic" work is that research shoes that young children can learn this stuff early, but then score less well on tests when they are older, and that it is best to foaster a love of learning and play based learning for preschoolers!

I do understand a bit how you can have pressure in your family. My husband started school in HK at age 3, so he all for kids entering school early, but he really struggled in school. In my part of Canada you cannot start until age 4 at earliest, so kids are 4 or 5 when they start kindergarten, and IF you want to you can pay to send kids to private preschools, of all different types. We have decided to send our 3 .5 year old to a 4 day, half day program. Even that is a compromise for my husband and me, as most people here would send to a 2-3 day half day program until kindergarten. Kindergarten is either all day every other day, or everyday half days.
 
That's what I don't want for our son, too. It seems that the children here don't have a good childhood, always study and study, never have fun time to play, etc. My husband always says that I complain too much about the school system here.
But again, as we can only afford local school now and we can't do much about it.
I can only let my son play a lot when he's at home.

We're looking at other local school around here as far as Shatin (we have to consider a primary school for him, too).

Still confused,
Lynn
 
Lynn,
If you don't mind, can you PM me the school that your son was in.

I can't answer to your question if all school in HK are like what you have described for K1. But am sure that the school that my kids are going to NOT like that for a least bit. But the school is in HK island so that may be too far for your son.

Personally, if I were in your situation I probably will opt for montessori for his preschool as to avoid unnecessary pressure on your son from the so call "local" school system. You can put him in again to the local system when he is old enough for Primary school?? Just a penny of my thought.
 
Just found out from his teacher this morning that he was too smart for his class. He was always the first one to finish his school works/assignments while some didn't even know how to do them.
It's just that he learns very fast.

I'm going to ask her if it possible to just let him play after he finishes his works. Or.. I don't know. Any of you have any suggestions?

The last thing we want to do is move him to another local school.
We visited several local schools in the area and chose this school because it had big indoor play area and its cleanliness.
Some schools didn't have clean restrooms (some were even smelly).

Newbies, we can't afford international school, so montessori school is out of the picture.

Thanks,
Lynn
 
How is he now?

Hi Lynn,

It's been 4 years since the start if this thread, I am wondering how is your son doing now and what di you do finally? I asked becuase I am now facing a similar situation as you did. My son's in K2, in a local bi-lingual kindergarten. The teacher hinted to me that he be assessed although she didn't mention the word autism. His problem is he seldom interacts with his classmates in school and does not follow the teacher's verbal instructions all the time. The teacher's comment is that "he is different from the other kids of his age".

I dunno if I should listen to the teacher and get him assessed. Even if I do, what then? Are there tehrapies/ early intervantions that we can offer him. Btw, he speaks only English and Putonghua, no Cantonese. I know there are some institutions that provide such therapies but they are conducted in Cantones.

Please share your thoughts.
 
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