Auntie is going to kill him.

[spockey]

My son got sand in his eyes at kinder today.
He came home, told his 'auntie' about this incident which involved another boy. She responded with the following statement, "Don't worry, auntie is going to kill that boy."

I found this out when I came home and asked him about the incident as it was recorded in his book. He told me not to worry about it as "Auntie said that she is going to kill him."

I'm at a loss for words for her stupidity. My husband is trying to rationalise it as a cultural difference. But I'm wondering, which culture would advocate such nonsense?

I'm of course FUMING MAD! Grrrrr! I've had a word with her and of course, it doesn't seem like a big deal to her. Again, grrrrrr!

 

[carang]

maybe it is just a cultural difference. my helper has told my kids she doesn't want to live in a certain house they pass on the bus everyday, "because it has ghosts"... my kids were terrified for months.

i understand completely where you are coming from. but, i want to warn you that kids will pick up this language at school soon enough. my daughter said just the other night, "hey! goh-goh, sit down or i'm going to kill you!" now, i can promise you we have never used this language at home. (we don't even say "stupid" or "shut up" at our house.) it came from big brother's school.

all i can say to you is calm down, then have another word with her. explain to her why it is not appropriate to say something like that. if she still doesn't get it, then that's fine. she doesn't have to understand, she just needs to not use it again. i would give her a verbal warning that if it happens again, she will get a written warning. and then take it from there.

good luck! i think you are going to need it!

 

[mommyof3]

I'd be mad too - hopefully you've been able to communitcate well enough with her to let her know you do not approve of that talk with children! I mean, come on! Not cool.

 

[Shenzhennifer]

I just laughed out loud - I can`t believe she said that!
I would be angry too. It`s one thing for kids to pick that stuff up from each other, but not from their supposed role models.
Did you tell me that if you hear of saying that again, you`ll kill her?

 

[carang]

it does seem unbelievable that she would say that to a youngster....LOL! I know it's not a laughing matter, but it's unfathomable that she can't see anything wrong with it....

 

[thanka2]

I think it's probably just a cultural thing. Sometimes we take our words far too seriously in the west. Actually, Chinese people walk around saying "kill" this and "kill" that and "I'm so mad I'm dead" and "I'm so hot I'm dead" and "He's dead." Actually the word "si" (Mandarin) or "sai" (Cantonese) comes up in so many phrases here. It's a way of putting emphasis on something and other cultures may not see such an empty threat as a big deal. Just talk to her about it, explain that she has to be careful what she says to your son because he will take it very literally because he's a child. I mean, I know for sure when my siblings and I would come home from school in tears because the bully of the schoolyard was picking on us again (which happened a lot) I'm sure my mom said under her breath and maybe even a few times louder than that, "I wish I could kill that kid!" Did my mom actually mean that? Was she homicidal? Did she ever do anything of the sort? No. So, just make it clear to your helper and let it go--it's probably not such a big deal.

 

[spockey]

I asked. She admitted saying it. She didn't think there was anything wrong with it - pretty certain she didn't think that my son's a parrot at this age.
I'm going to write it off as a cultural difference but have told her that this is the only time I'm going to be tolerant about it.

Am a little less annoyed.

 

[zac08]

glad you've calmed down spockey! it would disturb me too but i agree with thanka wholeheartedly - knowing some mandarin myself, i do believe it is a cultural/lost in translation type of situation. just make sure auntie understands this and that your son's interpretation of what she told him could be very damaging to his impressionable mind.